Tired of the Dating Games?

[glowgirl3]

Is anyone else but me tired of these "rules" and "games" that you're supposed to play in the dating pool? Don't call a guy or you'll look easy. If he's too shy to say something then let him go. Don't say how you feel for exactly five months, three days and twelve hours. LOL. It just gets exasperating doesn't it?

[prettyirishgirl]

Personally I hate it. It makes it harder on everyone involved. I've even been in situations where apparently it looked o much like I liked them, I was supposed to play hard to get *heir definition of hard to get - don't ever talk to me I want to chase you and work for even a hey*

In the end though being who you are is always the best thing - and if they don't like it then they are gonna lose you. So if you don't "play the game" by the"rules" don't. If you like someone tell them. If you want to call, do it (just don't stalking call :P) This way like Hunterbyz said you are always yourself and the other person knows form the beginning. Later it will save the loss and headache when it goes to we'll this isn't the girl I knew or that I was going after.

Also like Vassar said relationships don't work out. This is in a big part because someone long ago made up these rules, that world when you were going through an old fashioned courtship and there were grace periods and such, but today people don't live in that world, where you can't hold hands will 2 weeks in and the girl can never make the first move. We live in a modern society where these rules and games are childish and no longer logical. If people lived as who they are instead of with these "rules" there would be a lot more mature people and therefor adult relationships in the world.

[glowgirl3]

I agree 100%. You're right. Being yourself is the best medicine and it doesn't look like you're trying to "fool" anyone into being with you. This society is very different from centuries ago when the "rules" were designed. Thank you so much! :)

[Anonymous]

Yes very tired. lol I've been holding myself back from telling him because even though... I hate him at times I still love him and there's a part of me that doesn't want to let him go.

[Stanley]

I wait to say how I feel until five months, three days, twelve hours and 5 minutes have passed. Just to check and I'm really tuned in to the environment during those 5 minutes.(:

I agree with what joecollege says about people using them to protect themselves. I don't concur that it's usually about having been hurt, because I think that implies that someone used to be sweet, got burned, and turned into a player. I think it's more likely that the emotional development is incomplete, relationship is pursued with an unstable mindset, goes bad, and then there's that hurt. But the hurt didn't come from genuineness; it came from the game and an inability to do things right.

I think the games are a sign of emotional instability. When you cannot act or speak in a manner that is true to your heart, then you cheat yourself. Also, I've not been burned by my failure to follow these rules. I've surely been dumped a time or two, but not because of this. I believe that if you meet someone who truly likes you they will want you to be around and, who knows, maybe these rules are made to be broken and it's in doing that that you show you really care and dig the other person?

[glowgirl3]

I couldn't have said it better myself. It's great that you're tuned into the environment for those last five minutes. LOL. :)

[Anonymous]

Yeah I would most definitely agree with you. I almost wish I lived in another period of time or another country. Cell phones, text messaging, Sex & the City, etc has put a broad divide in men & women relations. Everyone has their own opinions, theories, formulas, and hypothesis but unfortunately more times than not.we all still remain single. I found the best answer for me was to stop playing the game. I think when we meet in places like bars, clubs, and the usual single nightlife places, both parties pretty much expect some craziness to happen. I've finally learned to embrace the things that I'm passionate in my life about, and meet women that I inevitably come in contact with along the way.

Just my two cents.

[glowgirl3]

Your two cents is awesome! It's so true what you say. I've met guys in clubs and its never what I expected. I love your idea of just doing the things that I enjoy and letting the rest just solve itself. Great answer! :-)

[joecollege]

I think it's good to understand the game to protect yourself and understand people who run game. Most players (male or female) are usually people who got hurt and want to protect themselves. I did the same and understand where they are coming from, but after a while you have to overcome your insecurity and be yourself again ( a wiser version).

What goes around comes around and if you use your game to hurt others, eventually you will run into the wrong person, or get played back yourself. Learning the game itself is not bad in my opinion, I consider it part of my evolution. But you have to evolve past it, mine was a spiritual evolution (I know many players, guys and girls who are not really happy inside ). The best game in my opinion is the truth. Being honest and real is so much less strain, and at the end of the day you feel better saying and doing what you really want to do. And usually you want someone who skips the B.S. and is real too.

[glowgirl3]

I couldn't agree more. Being honest in a relationship is always the best medicine.

[Hunterboyz]

Yes it does get old and annoying fast, but "they" say some years later, you'll miss these times. So you should enjoy them while they last.

I say, from the beginning, be yourself. It's your way. Either he likes it your way or not. I didn't have to wait that long, but that's {I think} because I'm the guy, but I was still a bit worried about her running for the hills.

I would say things like, "If I told you how I felt, you'd pimp me!"

She'd laugh, but say she felt the same way.

Someone once told me to be myself, good or bad, from the beginning so that person would know what they were getting themselves into.

You'll lose couple of nice potentials...but hey...

Like Dave Chappelle said: When Keeping it real goes wrong!

Plus it helps weed out the idiots.

Sincerly,

A Loving Black Man

[glowgirl3]

I never thought about it that way. Good advice. Thanks! :)

[lovebird01]

Good advice! I hate dating games too, but they are all a part of love and life!

[Tripium]

With all of these rules and regulations it's no wonder relationships don't work. If you're not true to yourself, and how you feel then you're unhappy. I've learned that eventually the right person will love me and things will just flow. So forget the games and rules... live life.

[Vassar]

Maybe that's why so many relationships don't work out....

[glowgirl3]

I agree. I believe that if people were up front and honest in the beginning instead of playing all these childish games there would be more adult relationships today.

[johnsmith2116]

Yes it's tiring, but it's what we do to get the one we want. ;-)

[Aedak]

I try to break as many rules as I can if I know I can get away with it.

[jazzypooh08]

Hell yea that's what I've been trying to say there's all these rules for dating that people don't realize that it makes wanting to date a nightmare.