Let's keep in touch?

I had a lovely first date that ended with a kiss by the railroad and deep lingering looks. I tell the guy that I had a nice time and he says, "Yes. Let's keep in touch and do it again sometime."

To me, "keep in touch" is sort of a kiss-off, though. What do you think, guys and gals?

  • He's possibly interested and might call again. Have a little faith.
    60% (3)83% (5)73% (8)Vote
  • He is not interested and is not going to call you again. Move on.
    40% (2)17% (1)27% (3)Vote
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Updates:
The fellow finally texted. (Why in the world would you keep a nice honest girl sweating it out for five days?) I had to jump start him with a "How was your week?" (Nice girl code for, "Dude, you *seriously* didn't try to reach me in a week? WTH? SIGH!") He just replied...how his week's been and how is mine going.


Yes...the real question is why I'm willing to nudge this fellow along when there are five other people calling and texting me all week long just b/c.


(GAMES! Argh...)
Finally...chatting...regularly. It was like a root canal, but now he's all chatty, nice, and actually pretty darned sexy. (Oh my.)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Down there I read that you don't initiate texts and are very conservative and shy. That's a bad thing. Being a bit shy and hard-to-get (not that you should play mind games) is good, but being too shy really makes the guy wonder if you're really into him, and at least for me, if I was having doubts that she was into me, I would wait for some sort of sign from her before making another move, even if it was simply that she texted me to say "hi", indicating that she's still interested in having conversations with me and probably in me myself, too. Just shoot him up with a text - it's really not a big deal.

    Yes, he's probably into you. Even you yourself said that you had a "lovely first date". He most likely wouldn't have said "let's do it again sometime" if he wasn't into you.

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    • I think I sort of did indicate it to him -- for example, I'm shy about touching strangers in general (a cultural thing), so initially, I sort of stopped short of touching him, though it would come naturally to me if I was with...my siblings or cousins, for example. Anyway, I gradually worked towards touching his arm during the evening, and we discussed the fact that I'm conservative and sort of shy, that I wasn't ready for the dating expectations most guys in my area expect ==>

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    • Lol ohhh okay. But it's really cute how you were "grinning uncontrollably for about an hour" :P

    • Lol.

What Guys Said 4

  • If it was a meaningful kiss and lingering looks, I would say it's not a kiss-off. However, he may be unsure of your feelings or is the type who likes to takes things slowly. When the time is right, you may need to text him; tell him you had a great time; want to see him again; and you would like to take him out.

    You can easily overanalyze the situation, but for now you should a 2nd date is in the picture.

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    • I don't (initiate) texts with guys anymore. It was bad news for me. (Long story.)

      Meaningful kiss? Hmm. Lingering "European kiss" (just the cheeks). But we stood there just to do it again. I'm REALLY conservative/shy.

    • OK no texts for whatever reason. Why can't you call him and say omething like "Listen I had an awesome time with you and I am interested in getting together again so can I take to you (Fill in: movie, dinner, drinks) this weekend. My treat."

    • No, I don't do that. I've done it before, and time and again the guy just brushes me off, often in a rude way. I don't like to be treated that way, so I just don't initiate calls/texts at this point. If I know a guy and we've been around each other for a while, I'll initiate, but even then the guy doesn't seem as interested if I'm the one initiating the communication.

  • @Update: Good to hear, but you should learn something from this too. He may be the kind of guy who either 1) takes time to get comfortable with the girl he is with or 2) you may need to take the lead from time to time to move the relationship along.

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    • Just saw this now. :-)

      Yes! Part of it is that he's not from here. City guys readily kiss-off with a quick/cavalier brush-off, "Let's keep in touch." So when he said it, I tht he wasn't interested, which was sad because he's the first guy I've actually liked in a while. Midwestern charm and manners ROCK, but a city girl needs to acclimate to the difference of being w an actual gentleman like this guy. He's got a cute "bad-boy" sense of humor accompanying the good manners + brains. It's all good. ;-)

  • Guys are easily distracted by work, food, play & other gals on line. Until you become more important than even "lingering looks", guys get confused during the week who's who and what's what.

    Perhaps you set up some post-date on-line "meets" every other day, then see if he wait that long ...

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    • Post-date meets? I set one up and he offered an inconclusive/noncommittal rain check for "another time." It's not that I'm impatient for attention, but that the general pace/status quo on the site is that the guy either harangues you with interest or he is silent = "move on, girl" -- whereas this one is unnervingly hinged in the middle. I say "fish or cut bait..."

  • It depends how he said it.

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What Girls Said 2

  • He just sounds unsure - he's not committing to a 2nd date. But he wants the option of it.

    Its possible he has something else - or someone else going on in his life.

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    • That was my thought. If he said "let's try this again next week" or something with a timeline, it would indicate an actual interest...

  • I think you shouldn't just base it all on that one line. Did he seem interested during your date? Attentive? Are you guys still talking? I think the surrounding circumstances would indicate what he really meant.

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    • We just met yesterday. He was nice, yes, attentive, but mixed message that he wanted to go home early, then explaining it was for his race this morning. We dawdled a little at the train station, but ultimately had to part ways. I haven't been around an attentive guy (who didn't just want to shag within hours of meeting me) in a really long time. It was nice. I'm just not sure what that meant. Maybe "I'll be in touch" like "don't bother me"?

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