**It Has Been Nearly a Year Since the Breakup and I Vented All of That Time to Him... I am Not Saying I'd Go Back as a Couple, But I don't Mind Having Him in My Life... Regardless of Why I Decided to End It. Any Thoughts on How to Handle All of This Now? I am Done Venting. We Have Been Talking, On and Off. xxoo
u How likely are you to find someone else and start dating if they know you are still "friends" with your ex. Very few guys will trust that situation.
Make a list of all the reasons you broke up with him. Consider each one individually. Has anything changed that will make that reason not reappear, or is it likely that you will encounter the same problem again?
OK you don't mind having him in your life but how would you feel if he wasn't in your life at all?
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28Opinion
The definition of an ex is someone from your past. It's generally not a good idea to make them part of your present or future. Usually better to move on and find someone else to have a relationship with.
I've been there before. More than one occasion! Over time, people grow, and sometimes the person you're meeting now is not the same one you knew then. You may still have feelings for him and may not even know it. The mind plays games with the heart.
If you want to remain friends and not go any further, it's important to be straight forward with him right now in the point in time, and explain you want nothing more, in case if he does get the wrong idea, even if it was his idea to become friends.
Even if you believe you want nothing more than friends, there may still be some love there brewing inside you because we as humans never have control over our hearts, and then we try to stop ourselves, and we can't! If you don't want anything more, just be careful not to get too close to him because there may be something about him, some nice thing he does for you, something he says, something that may attract you to him again. It may be a good idea to hang out in public, rather than one on one in private because at least in public, you have distractions. When it comes to private, private is more intimate, giving you more of a chance to be personal, and not hide yourself, like people do in public. Maybe when you hang out with him, do it with friends, so you can avoid getting too close.
This is definitely a "Tread waters carefully" situation. Good luck!
You and your ex can continue to have a friendly relationship as long as both of you are able to communicate and respect each other's boundaries. If you don't want to pursue reconciliation, make sure that your interactions with him remain platonic and don't get into any emotionally charged conversations that could lead to misunderstandings or arguments. Keep things light and friendly and treat him as you would any other friend. Try to establish a new dynamic and avoid getting too personal or discussing relationship issues that may be lingering and still present. Prioritize your own well-being first and avoid being overly invested in his life or feelings.
It's fine to choose to be friends, just be sure to have very clear boundaries (and ask for his directly as well). If you're not still hurting from the relationship then go for it. If the friendship doesn't persist then that's that. But if you feel like your boundaries aren't being respected if you guys do become friends, just walk away. You don't want to get pulled back into whatever split you guys up to begin with.
'Any Thoughts on How to Handle All of This Now?'
Yes. Try asking yourself why you cannot fully move on in wisdom and peace. This is a very common behavior where a person feels the need to invite what will always end in either more toxicity, drama or a lack of peace and disappointment. How you handle this... is by not handling it at all. But if you insist on doing so, one must ask themselves why!
Paris , the negative is , emotionally , even despite the fact that you ended the relationship you haven't fully moved on , having him hanging around is only going to hinder you , its time for something " new " that was a year ago , time to move on hun , if he's dagging around you will put off all those other suitors.
I left my ex over 20 years ago and we got back on speaking terms about 5 years ago, we even spent a fair bit of time together socially at our daughters wedding a few years ago. I don’t think I could ever get back with them though, even for a one off, but I admit I have thought about it.
ooooo I dont know why you invited me to this question considering im going through the same thing. However if you just want to stay friends, do everything in a friendly manner. It may be hard (it was for me) but in time it'll be like you guys are friends again.
Same. It seems I was invited to comment. Well, here goes. I’d drop all contact with him. I think it’s odd keeping up contact with someone like that. It’s like subconsciously you’re not totally over him or something. You do what you think it right, but I’d move on to someone else and forget this guy. I’d be be a little cautious because he might try yo sabotage future relationships.
Stop, just stop. You know fully damn well it's not a good idea.
People, life is simple. We just over complicate everything. They're an ex for a reason and if you still have feelings for them then of course it's not a good idea. Stop treating your ex like they are special, they not. There's so many people on earth you haven't met, but you still hung up over a guy that ain't all that special.
Stop living in the past, stop making excuses, just act right and move forward.
open heart- open mind, have no expectations and just let it develop organically, leave it up to whatever happens, happens. in the end there is no wrong choice, there is what you do and what you don't do-
Contact with your ex will likely be a problem for men in your future, so unless you are trying to get back together you shouldn't be talking.
It’s not a good idea to stay friends with ex.
s If you don't mind having him as a friend then you should keep him in your life. However, if the relationship didn't end well and you don't want him in your life, then you should move on.
Seems like you have feels for the dude.
I would love it for my exs to feel the same way about me. I'd say give it another chance. Otherwise why did u even reply to him in the first place?
Come on, Paris. This looks like you are cutting the dogs tail off a little bit at a time so it does not hurt too much
Have you completely moved on from him emotionally?
When it comes to ex's, I believe that going backwards is useless. Why do you think you want him in your life? You've proved you don't need him, and you were the one who let him go. So why, and be really honest with yourself if you can?
You have to set the workable boundaries, as does he. Talk about this and decide what you need to do.
I'm still friend with a handful of my exes. Where do you go? Same place you go with your other friends. They're not special/different now.
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