How should I ask for my forgiveness?

My gf's grandpap psd 2wks ago. Being she’s married, I cdn’t be there for her, but I was supportive and sympathetic as I could be. By the 4th day (Friday), I had asked how she was doing, she said exhausted, but fine. So I said "ok, well I just wanted to touch base b4 I went out for the night". She flew off the handle saying "Im crying my eyes out and your gonna go drinking!!!". I said, "you just said you were fine, I wdn’t have mentioned it had I known your upset." She says "whatever go drink you F’n drinks!!!" I responded (like a fool) “lol”. She says "whatever, Im done goodbye". I then said (again like a frustrated fool) "Awesome!! I’m free!!!"

The fallowing day I tried pleading my guilt and confessing my wrong. I left several texts (15) and voicemails (4) over the fallowing 4 days. I haven't made contact since (7 days). I’m trying the no contact strategy to give her time to cool but most importantly grieve. My plan was to shower her with her favorite things. she's a huge MN Wilds fan and loves frozen Reese’s. I got two Wilds cups filled with Reese’s, I got her a plaque of her favorite Wilds player, and a Wilds pendent/neckless in sterling silver. She loves the color turquoise so I plan to dye a dozen white roses. Then most importantly hand write an apology letter and poem. Top it all off, I made a sign that says “I love you Boopy” that I planned to steak in the road she travels to work so she sees it b4 everythings delivered.

That was until I did some searching and learned most women hate apology gifts, especially permanent ones as they will be a forever reminder. Also if she's not ready to forgive then she feels obligated, or like your just buying your way back to her heart. Now, I don’t know how to feel about this, I think my plan is rather special since it has a lot of special meaning and took time to construct.

I love this girl (I just say stupid shyt). Don’t judge me by a marital affair. To my defense, I was her ex b4 she married. She has confessed her love to me several times on paper and we both feel a love and connection like neither of us has ever felt. We have felt this since the first time we laid eyes. Overshare, but our sex too is the best either of us has ever had (climax together and just absolute passion and love).
You don't think I did? What do you think I did for 5 days after she said she was done? Not yo mention that would defeat the whole purpose of no contact.. I don't think you read anything other then the title of the question


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