Am I being too harsh?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend is so lazy unless I ask him to do stuff and I’m getting tired of it. I brought this up to him nicely and he said “I’m not lazy I just need guidance”. Is this is thing? He’s 34 years old and I’m 28 and I feel like im dealing with a kid having to ask him to do stuff all the time and I don’t know if I’m being too harsh or if he actually is just lazy. It’s like he can’t think for himself and won’t do stuff unless he’s asked

[kyleelyn199723]

I don’t blame you for feeling how you feel. My brother is this way. He has to be told to do basic house chores. Honestly this would be a deal breaker for me because I need a clean space at home and I need a relationship to be productive. Washing dishes and taking out dishes when your partner is busy is something to do out of love. Maybe going grocery shopping when your partner normally does it but is very busy is a way of affection. You may get tired of asking him to do things / things not getting done without your guidance. What happens if something happens to you where you aren’t around to guide him? A 34 year old man shouldn’t be living like that.

[Asker]

Girl you are so right and that opened my eyes about the if something were to happen to me. I also think about if we were to have a child, I’d hate to have to ask him to do thing all the time I wouldn’t be able to handle it. Thank you so much

[kyleelyn199723]

@asker trust me, it makes me want to lose my mind when dishes are left on the sink at my house on top of the house not being clean after a long day at work. I’ve been cleaning for my family my whole life. It gets tiring. Maybe you can talk to him about you not accepting his answer as an answer.

[kyleelyn199723]

In the sink*

[lilaccc]

i'm sorry to hear that, and i think you're still nice to your boyfriend, so i don't see where the harsh is.. and bcs if i were you, i'd dump him.


i don't want to live with someone who isn't interested in making himself better, and just trying to make things difficult. it just wasted my energy and time.
and i already waste my energy to do chores at home for my parent and got blamed about trivial things, and it scares me if i met someone like that again, it just makes me fall off to the same hole.

[slatyb]

Hsome kids never grow up. I hope you don’t have a child with this man. Get the hell out and find an adult to date.

[Wise4myage]

Guidance? lolol. Does he want you to hold his hand? He's 34, not 12.