I'm starting to feel really bad and sad for myself because I was dumped after just one month of dating. Is this normal?

[grim21]

I was dumped by her after just one month of dating (five dates in particular). The reason for the breakup was because she wasn't ready to enter a relationship. This happened about two months ago and for the past few days i'm starting to feel something i didn't until now. I feel sad and bad for myself because of the fact that i was dumped after just ONE month.

[MoniqueTLC]

Getting 'dumped' or being told by a girl she no longer wants to see you will of course bruise the ego and knock your self-esteem. It's unfortunately what comes with dating and putting yourself out there.

Rather have it happen to you after 5 dates than a long-term relationship where you've built an emotional attachment to the person.

You're feeling like this because you probably over invested to this girl and now you're questioning your own self-worth. Especially if you didn't acknowledge your feelings before, it'll come up now.

Feel what you feel but also understand this is just one girl you saw all for 5 dates. She clearly wasn't the one for you.

[grim21]

"Rather have it happen to you after 5 dates than a long-term relationship where you've built an emotional attachment to the person." She actually said something like this when she explained to me that she wasn't ready for a relationship.

[MoniqueTLC]

Did she? Mmmm I'm assuming she probably wasn't all in to it if that's what she said. You want to be with someone who's ready for a relationship with YOU. More often than not, if a person really wanted to be with someone, they would.

[grim21]

She basically said that it would be easier for both of us go to breakup at the point that we did than later on when we would be more emotionally attached to each other. You know we are in a second no contact period. During the first she was the one that broke it and we even had a date planned for my birthday but sadly it never happened.

[MoniqueTLC]

How are you feeling at the moment? Are you doing things you enjoy, and how do you feel about dating again?

[grim21]

I'd say that i am okay when my mind is busy with work, hobbies etc. When i'm at home my mind will think of her. Honesty I don't feel that i would have the energy to meet someone new.

[petitedollbabee]

If you went on 5 dates, you weren’t in a relationship yet, and therefore I don’t see how you were dumped. It’s normal to feel sad when going on dates with someone doesn’t work out.

[grim21]

Indeed we never made it official however the way that we behaved with each other especially during the last date made it seem like we were together :) It felt like it would work out but unfortunately it didn't.

[loveslongnails]

Quit whining and at least ACT like a man. Maybe she was telling the truth, or maybe she just decided she wasn't that into you. Either way, who cares? You're 30 years old and thousands of women looking for a decent guy, presuming you are one. Get back out there and quit feeling sorry for yourself. The next one might think you're fabulous, or not. So you go to the next one.

[Sandeeppingping]

Not ready to be in a relationship=you were boring, you should have kept things more spicy than romantic then let her whenever she wants talk about commitment

[grim21]

If by spicy you mean being more sexually intimate with her etc, we did made out during our dates but we didn't have sex. It's not that i didn't want to. It's just that i didn't want her to think that this is all i wanted.

[LazerBean]

I would think getting dumped after 5 dates when you aren't even in a relationship yet is better than getting dumped after a year of being in an official relationship.

[Daniela1982]

Did you get sex from her before she dumped you? If so, did you push for it or did she?

[grim21]

No we didn't have sex. We only made out during the dates.

[Daniela1982]

She must not have had fun on the dates. That or she wanted sex and didn't get it. Who knows?

[grim21]

I've thought about this myself and i wish this isn't the case because that would make me seem like a useless (?) man so to speak. It's not like I didn't want to have sex with her. It's just that I didn't want to be pushy about it and seem like this is all i wanted of her. I don't know how i can turn this around if that is indeed the case though.

I would say she really enjoyed herself during our dates.

[NamerOfStars]

Yeah, that's normal. There's a time of mourning for relationships, just like there is for people. Just don't let it hold you down too long.

[Anonymous]

Is it you getting dumped if you weren’t even in a relationship yet?

[grim21]

I am sorry i just didn't know how else to say it.

[maximumpower]

Don't worry about it.

This kind of thing happens.

Be thankful you didn't waste more time - like so many of us.

[chicosuave]

Girls are the initiator of dumping.

[exitseven]

Get back on the horse and find somebody else.

[boobliker]

i think so