Why don’t men take attractive women more seriously?

[Anonymous]

I find that I seem to be the person everyone wants to sleep with but no one wants to take me seriously enough to put a ring on it. I consider myself a good woman.

I have a full time decent paying career, am in school full time, have my own house/vehicle, I know how to cook, I clean, and essentially take care of business but no one takes me seriously when it comes to dating/relationships. In my early 20s I dodged a few bullets by declining marriage with men who weren’t on my level or looking to get on my level as far as assets go. But now that I am in my early 30s, I am ready to build a family with someone and be with just one person. It just isn’t happening for me… is it because I’m what society would consider above average in looks or is it because men are intimidated of successful women?

[Anonymous]

First of all, men are not intimidated by successful women. That's a myth. It's an excuse some women use to explain why they don't have success with men. It's a scapegoat. Any successful woman who has good character, positive attitudes toward men and relationships, and knows how to treat a man right, won't have any trouble getting and keeping a good man. But unfortunately many have that "I don't need a man" attitude and it's like it's on a neon sign hovering over their head. Any woman who puts off the vibe that she "doesn't need a man" is going to be unappealing to any good man.

You mention that you have a full time decent paying career, are in school full time, and have your own house/vehicle. That's great, but it's nothing that will make you more desirable to men. Those are things women find desirable in men, but not the other way around. There's nothing wrong with it, but it does not add to your value as a woman like most modern women think it does.

It's great you know how to cook. That's definitely a big plus. Most women today don't have any real cooking skills. I know a lot more men than women my age who are good cooks. Most women have shot themselves in the foot on this one.

But here's the difficult truth. You have spent your adult life focusing on your career rather than seriously looking for a life partner. You said "now that I am in my early 30s, I am ready to build a family with someone and be with just one person". You expected to put that off until your 30s and then you'd have no problem finding a good man and settling down and having a family. That's a message modern women have been fed for a long time, and still are. And it's very unfair to them because it's not true, but it's still the feminist message and they won't back off on it. It hurts women a lot more than men.

Women hold all the power in dating from age 18 to about 30, at which point the tables turn and it is men who have the power. That's because the things men value in women are at their peak in heir early 20s, whereas the things women value in men are only beginning to materialize in heir late 20s and early 30s and they continue to increase for years beyond that point. So men your age are either already married (most of the good ones get snapped up before then) or, if they're still single they have much more options than women their age. Wise women use the power they have when younger to land a good life partner, rather than wait until their options are much more limited. Society used to reinforce that message in young women, but doesn't anymore because it's "sexist". But that only hurts women in the long run.

Here's a good article on the subject. It should be required reading for all women in their early 20s.

https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/why-women-lose-the-dating-game-20120421-1xdn0.html

[D_Bone_Steak]

"That's great, but it's nothing that will make you more desirable to men." I think the question asker should really let that sentence set in. She's doing everything right as a man trying to attract a woman... Doesn't realize she's basically a man now though. Which is fine... if she's going to be as "generous" (as the girls say about what they want from men), as a man is expected to be. A man, sees all that successful strong woman stuff, but unlike a woman, we don't view that as something we're going to just get handed to us by a woman because we giggle at their jokes and have a pretty face. The reality is that shit is probably not happening for a dude at all... like nope, that's not going to happen. And the question asker really needs to accept she would most likely overlook a guy that would, if he's out there at all.

[ricoman]

i totally agree with - "That's great, but it's nothing that will make you more desirable to men."
A dating expert once mentioned a woman who met a man at a bar who wore a nice suit and a watch but left with a scruffy artist

[Opinion Owner]

@ricoman A scruffy artist is a good match for her.

[D_Bone_Steak]

I was going to start out by saying I take attractive women more seriously than non... I kept reading though.

Full time career, full time school, assets, now in 30's...95% of your eggs are gone already. There is a lot of women wondering why men are not really looking for what women look for in men... I'm sorry, I'm going to be blunt, I think you're one of them.

We dudes usually don't look at a chick and think "Oh hell yeah, I bet she can support me and my kids, while I work my job and keep all my money for the kids and I while I spend only hers." We just don't think like that... a lot of chicks do (admit it)... and you probably (and most likely) wouldn't want a dude that is like that. Hypergamy has probably severely limited your options of men that you'd even consider simply because of your own success.

I'm not trying to offend I'm just speaking what I consider facts. I hear about this exact thing about 3 times a day... You're a little different than most because you're not dragging along another man's kids by 2 different daddies and wondering why a guy that has done all the work as well as you have won't just go for the big insta-family deal. In fact, I'd might consider you... but I'm 40 and I'd want our money kept completely separate and I sure as fuck don't want more kids. Toss marriage out the window. And fuck cohabitation. All I'd offer is my six-pack abs and big dig and we could have fun doing things like camping... just being real, I'd pull out even if you said you're on the pill.

The truth is... since you've played the male role so much you'd have to start thinking like a dude if you want to start a family. Maybe younger, a little dumber, maybe give a pass on the looks department a little, accept that they can't even figure out how to open their own bank account. That kind of guy would depend on you. Beware though... guys get cheated on by younger dumber women all the damn time and will take half your shit and the pets. I say sleep on it, and think before you sleep.

This is the world modern feminism has created... so work and pay your taxes. That was the real plan all along... more people paying taxes and reduced population... I mean replaced population. They're shipping in plenty of people that will replace the kids you might of had, and they'll work for cheap which will make your boxed wine and cat food a little cheaper when and if you ever get to retire. Turns out big daddy government hated you just as much as they hated me all along. So um, make sure you vote democrat 😂

[Purpul]

[See this is the shit I’m talk-about, straight-cold-hard-facts 👌🏾. “They can’t handle the facts.”]

[Anonymous]

I don't even post pics of myself anywhere anymore because most men today are so judgmental and assume all attractive or makeup wearing women are slutty, insecure, narcissistic, cheaters, high maintenance, bitchy, dumb, etc. And the kicker is, I know I'm just average looking but I am so afraid of some guy finding me attractive and assuming all that shit and treating me like shit because of it. Just look at all the opinions on this site of men saying that they refuse to be kind, friendly, or flirt with a woman just because she is attractive.

Most men today generalize all women now based on the small percentage of loudmouth lying feminazis or naive/young insecure girls.

They aren't even willing to try to understand why so many young girls beg for bad attention today. They aren't willing to try to understand why more women initiate divorce. They complain about being single in the same breath they boast how they won't chase, flirt, or be kind to a woman (even though it's a male's natural behavior). They watch tiktok and YT videos of single or bitter men giving advice on women (while ignoring there are two sides to every situation). They don't realize how many men (boys) are doing OF, nasty tiktoks or other filthy shit. In denial.

When are people going to realize and accept that there are equally just as many issues and wrongs with both genders, no more no less. Get off your toxic social media platform, stop looking for dates drunk or at shit holes, stop having one night stands, stop ghosting.. have respect, be kind, have values, stop generalizing and assuming things and stop treating people like shit.

Most of the people on this site's grandparents would be ashamed.

[msc545]

And as usual you found a way to blame men for what women do

[Opinion Owner]

@msc545 it's allllll cause and effect. Not very intelligent there, eh? I could also blame women for things men do and blame either for their own. But because this post is looking for an answer regarding MEN in that aspect, I am giving my opinion based on SOME men from personal experience and the majority on this site. It would be ignorant to say ALL men are to blame and that women aren't accountable for things just as men are.

[Purpul]

[“When are people going to realize and accept that there are equally just as many issues and wrongs with both genders, no more no less. Get off your toxic social media platform, stop looking for dates drunk or at shit holes, stop having one night stands, stop ghosting.. have respect, be kind, have values, stop generalizing and assuming things and stop treating people like shit.”

All of it, except for the one-night-stands, if it’s right, it’s right. But all-else of what you mentioned turned me the fuck-on. Not really. Just saying. Women and men should really get off social-media and meet people in person.]

[Purpul]

[I met this one-girl at the grocery store, she works there (I make it a habit to meet many). When I first saw her, it was instant attraction. I approached her and went really slow with her. Every now-and-then when I would see her, I would go over and banter back-and-forth with her, and I really liked that she was able to be sarcastic right back. Eventually, got her number. I to say, I have a rule, if I ask for her number and she gets me to try to follow her social-media, I gently-mention that I don’t have social media other than WhatsApp and Telegram as I can comprehend most women do not like giving out their direct-number. But I still prefer the number because it lets me know she’s interested… Anyways, I got the number, and I texted light-funny-stuff and more banter in the course of a couple of days, and the moment I escalated the conversation, to meeting her at her place, bringing over food, and doing what she likes to do, after insinuating the possibility of sex, the manipulation-tactics began. She went from “available” to “I’m busy”. At one point I approached her about not corresponding to my last text, and I could sense she was acting her seriousness of “being busy”, as she animated at the moment. My skill is, I play the dummy with women to see how far they will go. And now I ignore her because she demonstrated poor-behavior. Women get a thrill of doing this shit to men who show genuine-interest to see if they can take control of the man.]

[Purpul]

[I hope you mean what you said, because it is behavior like this that causes women to lose big-time. Especially with a man as wise as I am.]

[D_Bone_Steak]

I agree with the part about loud mouth femanazi women fucking it up for regular ass women. But take a look around you in the female scene/side of things... that radical feminism stuff has infected most of your gender. The "normal" woman just don't speak up enough.

Look at the transgenders taking over your sports and bathrooms... Not enough of you are willing to say "Hey! Wait a minute." Instead, the ones (talking about females here) that get clout applaud and cheer it on. It's not men pushing those agendas to be legal and normal... that's your own gender's wonderful work.

I really think a positive movement from this point forward for feminism would be a female-to-female battle. Drop the 'men' issue as they are just reacting. Start fighting against the real problem for all this bullshit... those feminazis that include shit like race, gender, sexuality, and have somehow placed some chicks with a dicks as somehow more important than you... a normal woman.

I'm not trying to get at you and please don't respond to this... I'm just giving food for thought.

[Opinion Owner]

@D_Bone_Steak I agree with what you're saying but I believe liberals are the cause, not women. Male and female liberals. I do what I can to stick up for normal women all the time. I have been fired because of it, I have openly supported men and against affirmative action type shit. I am only one women. I have been unfairly mistaken by conservative men that see so much red for women that they attack me without understanding that i actually support both good men and good women and just try to get both stupid ass genders to wake up and realize we all want the same thing. It's like they don't understand that I don't support women knocking men down to rise up or govt mandates that promote gender discrimination in either direction. I don't care about gender I care about merit. I would be insulted if I got hired just because I'm a woman or standards were lowered. I never say all men in my questions because I know there are good men out there. I post these questions to get all men and women out there thinking about this stuff and to one day maybe stop being sensitive azzholes.
Some people take my OPINIONS wrong and are just plain arrogant hypocritical azzholes that sit on their own mountain of truly generalizing questions and opinions and act like it's okay for only them.
Sorry for rant I'm sick of this shit on here.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Yeah, you won me right at pointing out the liberals are doing it. I only had to speed-read the rant and I think I totally agree.

The generalizations have been fucking us all. I was talking to my black homie last night who's never broken a law and I've known him for over 30 years... we both have to agree though that his race gets one hell of a fucking reputation just because of what seems to be the norm. There no way to just dismiss it because of the statistics... sort of reminds me of when I went into criminal justice training and the black cop/teacher just bluntly put, "we're not racial profiling, it's just facts." I was like "damn bruah." I think a lot of dudes, obviously if you read through all of this on this entire thread... are sort of not profiling and just accepting the most probable facts. It's all just a shit show.

I mean seriously, this same website, go back maybe 5 years with this same subject... it would literally be nothing but a "hate all men" thread. 'General' opinions are just starting to catch up or not be afraid to respond. The wrath of time I guess.

[Rosexøxø]

Well, let me tell you. Decent men are rare.

If you’re highly attractive, you attracted the wrong crowd lol. It’s only natural that would happen,

You think the men you’ve encountered have been the norm or all the world offers, but there’s more characters out there.

Also it’s possible, you will/ would complete some sort of “self-fulfilling prophecy,” with disrespectful men because of you knowing you’re attractive. You’d be expecting them to essentially react to you and your beauty only biologically natural, and you’d be upset by this and perceive it as abomination.

Sexuality also isn’t disrespectful, so I’d humbly and extremely lightly 😂👐😅 try to suggest that you not mistake a male’s natural admiration as disrespect.

Also try to see a version of yourself who doesn’t need a companion to be happy.

If you’re truly beautiful and successful then you can live your life and have other guys for fun, if you wanted to,

but to expect anyone to be your alliance, will take time and even after taking time to socialize with many guys, won’t guarantee that one of those socialized with, will be a willing ally/accomplice.

you're too beautiful and successful to not be happy. Don’t let anything get to you, but the best in life.

👐🌅😊

Best to you sis!

[Summeroflove]

If you think all men are the problem. It’s probably you….

Do you sleep with those men? You’re just as bad. If you reject them. Then okay.

Also depends on what you mean by…. “Assets” as well. That could be your problem. If you’re not looking for love but something else.

Being successful isn’t a bad thing. But if you have a problem with men. There’s the issue. Decent men don’t want women like this

[Fryday_Knight]

That first line hit hard, bingo

[Summeroflove]

@Fryday_Knight thanks

[Summeroflove]

“Men are intimidated by successful women” oh give me a break.

[Guccixlouis]

Id love a successful woman to buy me whatever I want and drive me around in her coupe tbh

[ricoman]

very good point!

[Summeroflove]

@Guccixlouis yeah but you shouldn’t be using women for money either

[Summeroflove]

@ricoman thanks

[Guy13]

We take attractive women very seriously and research shows more seriously than any other woman.

[OlderAndWiser]

Maybe men can't imagine you being happy with them for 40+ years.

[Anonymous]

To put it bluntly, you're not what good men want. Reading through your responses to other users here, it's clear you slept around through your twenties and now you're in your thirties and expect men to just accept your promiscuous past and marry / have kids with you now that you are past your prime and somewhat used up. It doesn't work that way and never has. You say you are the "sugar mamma". Good men don't want a sugar mamma, they want a good and virtuous woman who understands what men actually want from women. It seems you are not that. I don't know why women think they can just mess around for the first decade or more of their adult lives and then expect men will still find them just as appealing as they were in their twenties. If you think being a sugar mamma will make you valuable, you are in for some disappointment. You've spent your life reducing your value as a woman, not building it. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but it is the cold, hard truth, and women should hear it when they are young enough to still make wise choices for their future.

[MCheetah]

Facts!

[Asker]

You all just assume I’m promiscuous lmao. Where did I ever say that? Having a child is promiscuous? Just creating bullshit scenarios in your heads.

[Opinion Owner]

You have a child? I don't think your mentioned that before now.

Yes, I assumed you have been promiscuous because most women who find themselves in your place in life were. Are you saying you haven't been?

[Asker]

I’m not promiscuous at all lmao. I’ve even been celibate a few years 🤣🤣 cool assumption though.

[Opinion Owner]

Well I' glad to hear it. But I stand by everything else I said. Having a child doesn't help you either.

[D_Bone_Steak]

@Asker Do you have kids though? <-- That's a valid ass question and I know for a fact any man with kids get judged on it just as much if not more. I just can't help but notice you skirting that question.

[Asker]

I have been dating men who have children.

[D_Bone_Steak]

That's more than what most women would do... I know from experience. But no children of your own? I'm only pushing for an answer to that because IT IS A FACTOR. I mean I don't even need an answer if you just don't want to say... but would you admit that it would be a factor.

[Guccixlouis]

What? No men would want a sugar momma? Well shit in that case there should be more for me, now where are they at?

[WindAtMyBack]

I'll be blunt here, even more than I usually am.

It sounds to me like you think highly of yourself and think you are a prize. You turn down men basically because you think you are too good for them. Now you are getting older and want to settle down. But you probably still think you are too good for most men.

I'm willing to bet it shows through. You will be dealing with older men than you did before. They will be better equipped to see this and not want to play that game.

There is NOTHING wrong with being successful, or with any of the other qualities you mentioned. But when you go turning men down because they aren't good enough for you, you need to look in the mirror to see what the problem is.

I see this on this site all the time. Women talk about what a good catch they are and wonder why they are single. If they really were a good catch they wouldn't be single unless it was their own choice.

There is certainly a lot more to this. Nobody here knows you. We can only go by what you've said in a couple of paragraphs. And can only guess at answers based on that.

[RavVid]

I certainly reverse discriminate against very attractive women because they can get away with being exploitative etc. Occasionally I have been very wrong and a beautiful woman has been beautiful on the inside as well as the outside.

Feminists like to blame men and hence the false trope of men being intimidated. The truth is we just don't give a damn and have different mate selection criteria to women.

I was listening to a video of what women in their 20s were wanting. It was pretty extreme and they were wanting not just a guy in the top 1% but guys in the top 0.1%. These 20s girls were happy to date older.

So you may be competing against 20s girls for the attention of guys you want.

In addition, with women initiating 80% of divorces after 8 years men have got very gun shy of marriage. I would never consider it, after one close shave, brought the cost into sharp focus. It is just not on, never going to happen. It would be unlikely I would consider you moving into my home even. I'm scarcely going to father children.

Starting a family in my 30s means that I will be supporting them till I am in my late 50's and possibly early 60's. My prime earning years. Is this really sensible of me?

I'm older and wiser now in my 30s so I think I'll think this is F'ed in the head idea. And this is assuming you don'r divorce me after 8 years which is most likely to happen.

Sorry to say this but I'd be thinking you're on your own Lady. Don't drag me into this. Should have caught me in my 20s when I was a bit more naive and there were more rainbows around.

[DJB72]

Why buy the cow when you're getting the milk free?

Sorry but feminism lied to you. Guys of quality don't want the girl with the high "body count". It makes you unattractive for long term stability.

When upatds of 75% of divorces are initiated by women, why would any self respecting man invest his life in someone with a track record of leaving men? There's zero incentive.

I'm almost 51. I had two girlfriends before my wife. She had one boyfriend before me. We met aged 30. If something happened to her and I was suddenly single again I wouldn't want a woman every guy in town already slept with. I wouldn't want a girl who would even consider having an OF account. I don't know a single decent guy who would.

Men don't take physically attractive women more seriously these days because too many of them - not necessarily you personally - have treated them appallingly and it's not worth the effort or the risk to go further than your bed. And he knows if you take him to your bed it's highly unlikely he's the first.

[Purpul]

[I say neither. It has more to do with “THE BETA-MALE REVOLUTION”. More men in modern-day are starting to find-out about WOMAN-NATURE, and completely disregarding marriage, especially the more good-looking a woman.


You see, women today, more-than-ever have access to their own ability to gather their own resources, and are more highly-independent than ever before, replacing the need for a man of the traditional male-role of provider, protector, “hunter”. With this independence, sex is happening quite more frequently for women. It just tends to be that women can pretend they are monogamous and end-up doing things when and if their monogamous-partner does not please them. And “on-and-on-and-on”… I personally believe that marriage is really not a purposeful event anymore for many reasons; partly of what I just described above, another is of the statistics 📊 in divorce, and-more.


It’s going to be a tough battle for modern-day-women in the next decade and onward, until women truly decide to change their behavior as a collective, because young men already see the funny-stuff that most-women pull, and older-men are simply going for straight-sex with no-long-term commitment.


You will want to find yourself a man who is yet to be red-pilled, and who is willing to get married. But in turn to not turn out to be another statistic, you will be in-charge of your sexuality with that man and make sure you get kinky-and-slutty with him so that he does not bore you, and you end-up wanting to divorce his ass and take half of his shit or more. OR, you may just FEEL like you want a relationship right-now, since women desire companionship, and once you have it and are bored with it, you’ll probably will want to let your kinky-wild-side-out if you are not getting it on the regular from that one man…


Careful what you wish for, you may just get it.]

[Nileviewboy]

It comes down to a lot of things when it comes to men and marriage.

The old adage for example. "a guy gets sex when he can, a women gets it when she wants. A woman gets married when she can, a guy gets married when he wants".

The other problem is women have gone and created a big problem socially for themselves. Most start putting out wrong and by the time they are ready to settle down they have 20+ guys on their record, won't be ready to settle down until after 30 (right about the time their biological clock is ticking down fast), they'll get a kid or two from the guy and then leave with 50% (and maybe the house).

My wife married me at age 33. She was a virgin (cultural issue). i had 20+ girls on my past indiscretions, but she took me for what i was. I am ready to settle down, but we agreed no kids, and what money is mine is mine, and what is hers is hers. Even in Marriage our assets are ours and not to split in the event of a divorce. Kind of like a prenup but its a mutual understanding. This made me want to marry more as i could trust her.

Narcissistic women on Shit-Tok and Shitstagram aren't helping the nice honest girl either. sharing tips on how to screw over a desperate guy. How to get away with false rape allegations if he doesn't give you what you want and deserve.

I dont think you need to take it personally. But between shit tok and feminists saying all men are rapists; we are having a hard time trusting women.

[ricoman]

you sure got a level headed woman. good for you

[Anonymous]

Men don’t really find the majority of those qualities particularly “enticing” if I’m honest. They are great bonuses, but men value looks, youthfulness, purity and personality, first and foremost.

The thing is, the more attractive a woman is, the less likely it is that she will have that purity and loyalty to a man, because of how many options she has at any time. And it’s not like it’s a universal law or anything, it comes down to the individual woman herself and how she manages her own life and the choices she makes.

You may very well be attractive and appealing, I can’t tell, but when the basis for your question comes off as “I’m great because of X, Y, and Z and why aren’t men taking notice?” it could be that there’s a misunderstanding of what men truly want and you’re inflating your own value based on said misunderstanding.

Men really don’t care much either way, if you have all the great things that might make men more attractive (from a woman’s standpoint). They look for more maternal traits… youth, fertility, innocence, agreeableness, those child-bearing hips lol I could go on, but I will stop there… you get the point.

I know this doesn’t fit the whole “empowered woman agenda” but that’s the problem and part of the reason why men and women are so divided today. People are being led to believe things that simply aren’t true and it’s destroying (or has already destroyed) our social and cultural equilibrium.

I’m not saying women shouldn’t work, it’s a big plus if she is everything a man looks for and has a good career, and she’s able to separate the two, but the other stuff comes first on a man’s list of “priorities,” if you will.

[ricoman]

lots of very accurate points - in my opinion

[ricoman]

I am a man in therapy and I am an attractive person. Sounds like bragging right?

My therapist went over it numerous times with me this year. And so finally I asked him "why are you mentioning it?"

And he told me good looks can work both ways. I think there is a jealously/intimidation factor. Also people are looking to us for SUPPLY.

I am due to perhaps genetics and trauma an introverted person but I haver been becoming less so. Men tell me I am good looking more than women but in a particular way. In December I was told I look like Warren Beaty Charlton Heston and Cillian Murphy.

So enough about boring me - let me list some points and questions I have.

1- You are the one who lets people sleep with you. Start having a check list and watch out for danger signs that this person is not relationship material.

1a- For me I have THE EYE TEST. I have beautiful eyes. But if a woman mentions it over a couple of times she is trouble. So if I get too much attention on it. I know she is just thinking visually. And many time I have found this type to be mentally unstable.

2 -How long are you waiting to let these guys sleep with you? Wait 2-3 months.

3-You are talking about all these assets you have. I suppose to show you can take care of yourself but if somebody loves you they love you.

4-"looking to get on my level as far as assets go. " What exactly do you mean by this. How ambitious are you?

5- You are asking a lot of questions here. And I think perhaps a therapist is a good place to go to with these questions.

6-Are your expectations for a guy too high? What do you mean by on your level? How long have you been seriously looking? We are all very complicated.

7-My guess is you are afraid you won't be able to have kids and that is at the root of it.

8-have you considered getting your eggs frozen as a backup plan? Just an idea.

good luck

[PinkRose24]

You described what you do for a living and what you own. Men are looking for a woman with a beautiful heart that won't nag them. A woman that loves animals and babies and is kind to others. They love tender women. Does that describe your personality, if it doesn't then maybe that's why they don't take you seriously. Successful men don't care if women are financially successful because they already are. Financially successful men want a woman with a good heart. You are not going to impress them with your wealth. You're going to impress them with your heart.

[Purpleronnie]

Being perfectly honest , I am also in a good job and have worked long and hard to get myself there , sacrificing a fair bit in the process so I think I understand where you are coming from in some respects. I have never aimed too much above my own attractiveness when dating not that I have done that much , and my confidence has only grown later in life as my career developed. Personally for me it’s the whole package with a woman but looks are definitely secondary to character & personality for marriage material. I’d love to meet a woman with natural beauty and a character and personality that shine but it’s just never happened. I think even if I did I doubt I could handle guys staring at her and mentally undressing her.. some guys are just animals in that respect. So in answer I don’t think you can’t generalize about all guys but I certainly understand that your experience so far may have led you to that conclusion. I take everyone as I find them and never judge

[tzdc21]

Let me first say this. MEN ARE NOT INTIMIDATED BY SUCCESSFUL WOMEN. That's some inaccurate crap that women throw around all the time. Most of the things you listed, other than the cooking and cleaning, are things men are not attracted to. Men want a woman who is going to be an asset to their lives. So out of all the guys you dated, how often did you look at their lives and analyze what they liked and what they needed in their lives and acted upon that? Or how have you treated those guys you were in a relationship with? Do you dress provocatively a lot when you're in public? Do you frequently nag the guys you're with? There's a boatload of reasons that could pertain to your situation.

[lightbulb27]

You sound like you are in a good position. Some men will, but maybe you aren't choosing the right ones? Maybe the "chooser" is the problem?

Beyond that, it does take dating and relational skills to progress relationships.

...

The other side of this is the men. I hate to say this, but "men" are in different stages of maturity and emotional health. They have to see "value" in themselves in the relationship to make it a relationship. A lot of guys will go for "needy" women because they feel valued "helping" them, it feeds the power differential, and that "feels" good because we feel of value. Not all men, some are going to want more established women. So to solve that, you don't do everything yourself, find out what makes them feel loved and have them be of value to you.

[oddwaffle]

It's easy, you just need to be like the guys who you rejected before. Approach any guy you like and try. Get rejected then try again. Learn to take rejections. Be aggressive.

Women has to realize that they have lost everything that makes them popular by the time they are 30. They are in the shoes of the men they rejected before. They have to go out there and pursue for a guy.

Sitting around and wait for a guy is never going to work. All guys want will be younger girls. You do not have what it takes to compete with young and innocent.

You better do it quick because men in their 30s are getting more attractive than women in their 30s. By the time they are 40s they will soar while women in their 40s are like stale bread.

[Fireguy17]

For me it always comes down to personality over looks.
I have been with some beautiful women, but their whole attitude about everything just drove me away in no time.
Sorry, just because you are or think you are pretty does not exempt you for being a nice person.
I do not know you or know anything about you and you might just be a fantastic person to be with.
I always tend to gravitate towards women that are independent.
That way you don't have to be there all the time, they are quite able to function without you.
I have a very odd schedule so I need to be with someone that can handle things when I am not there.

[RealMarek]

You might just have priced yourself out of the dating market. You admit that you won’t consider a man who cannot be as materially successful as you, and you are successful. Well, the median real income for men has been on the decline since the 1970s and the situation is getting worse. Also, the successful man you want is already married or has his pick of highly attractive, highly fertile women in their mid 20s who are competing with you for the same, select few, men. Those select few men don’t need you to take care of business. They, like all men, are driven biologically to seek women who have the markers of high fertility, even if they don’t want babies, and believe me a successful, attractive, single man in his 30s has a lot of options. It seems like you need to change your standards... or invest in cat food.

[lifeamystery]

I wish I could chat with you to explain my thoughts. Here goes nothing, So I think the reason why men don't take attractive women serious is due to women not taking men serious. I see you are an independent woman ready to start a family. To be honest your standards are set high so you have to find a man at the same level. Which is very hard to come by. To have a health family takes time. Dating for at least 2 to 3 years. than live together for another 2 to 3 years. Than marriage and thought of having kids. If you ever play the game life? They let you pick career or job in the beginning. You picked the career life which give you the advantage of getting more money, but lose time on having family. Getting a job you go straight to having a family but you lose the opportunity to get more money.

[Adaeva]

Neither is the reason. At age 30 you cannot compete with your 20 year old clone but you still have your twenty year old standards. The fact is, men date down for sex but they don't marry down. Until your standards allow you to date guys that want to marry you; not just have sex with you, most likely you will remain single for more years.