It is wrong to not date someone because they are depressed?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I don't think it's wrong to refrain from entering in a relationship with a depressed person - for me personally because I am simply not equipped to help them out and would rather have them seek professional help - I can be their friend and support them, but I won't be their romantic partner.

It's also a matter of preference, since I favor independent women who have their own things going.

[NathanDavis]

depression is not one specific thing that manifests or develops in the same way for everyone...

technically, even if my depression has been mostly dormant for half of my life now, I am still a person with depression, I do believe it never goes entirely away

the big difference is that I am not a 12 year old kid anymore, and I am also very capable of dealing with most of it in the very particular way that it affects me and challenges me, which... might be very different from the way it affects the live of others

also, I never let my depression to get in the way of my relationships, which was more of a risk in my earlier ones, when I was way younger and a lot less prepared to deal with it... and that was what gave me all the confidence and reassurance that I was able to be happy within a relationship, and more importantly, to make my partner happy with our relationship rather than bring them down with me, I got that lu

[NathanDavis]

(sorry, cuddles and snuggles attack from my kitten)

I got that lucky... and if it had been the case that I would not be able to be happy and make someone happy, then I would have done the responsible thing to do which is to work on myself more, before entering any relationship or I would not get involved with anyone if I am not prepared to deal with my own self and my situation

so, with that being said... would I refuse to fall in love with someone that has depression. no... not necessarily, because I know very well and I know first hand, that depression is not always going to define your life and who you are... we can always be so much more than just that, a condition that is part of us and our lives, but not the whole... story

[TheVigilantFox]

I wouldn’t say it was wrong to not want to date someone because of anything.


Dating someone with mental health issues can be challenging as if you have no idea about their issues you can’t really help them because you have no clue how to, you feel powerless as well as you can’t do nothing for them, all you can do is say “I’m sorry” and listen to them, you can’t do anything else really.


I personally wouldn’t date anyone with mental issues because I couldn’t cope with them, I’ve been through it all before and it really makes your mental health plummet as well.

[Aerissa_Jade]

I can't say it is wrong or right as everyone has personal choices on who and what they are looking for in a relationship. They aren't right or wrong.

Many people suffer from depression even with professional help, life gets stressful and can be that way. Many are life long, it isn't temporary.

If you are already in a relationship and your SO gets depressed what would you do?

People with PTSD will also suffer from it (rape victims, vets, police officers, etc...) but to each their own. If you do not want to be with someone when they are depressed that is fine, it is for the best for both of you.

Personally if someone didn't want be with me when I was depressed, and they wanted to when I wasn't anymore and I was doing better.

I would not give them a chance later, they wanted to be friends only and that is what it would stay at forever.

[kylee2437]

Hmm I think everyone has a right to have a preference, but the thing is, is if you think you aren’t equipment to be supportive of a depressed partner, are you even equipped to be there for someone in general? Because I think it’s deeper than this. Let’s say your partner is getting professional help, that doesn’t exclude that you won’t have to deal with their depressed behaviors. But that also goes for any other issue a person may have. What if that persons parent has died, would you up and leave if they end up in an episode of sadness? Again I think it’s a preference but I also think this could be a flaw of yours where you are looking for a relationship , but don’t want to be a supportive partner where it counts.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I can be supportive with people who need, but not with heavily depressed or suicidal people - already tried to help one, and it went horribly.

[kylee2437]

That’s your right to not want to do that, hopefully they are getting help but just know if you are in a relationship, depressive episodes can happen at any given moment.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

They are not getting help, they are no longer alive.

[kylee2437]

Well I’m sorry to hear that. Very hard to help anyone in the depression loop however being a support system is just part of being in a relationship in general. For example if your future lady ends up losing her job, would you be okay supporting her and giving 80/20 while she finds a new job?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Of course I would be okay with that - although my current lady owns three meat packing plants, which I see unlikely for her to lose her job. She and her family are opening the fourth too.

[kylee2437]

That’s awesome - but life happens. Just have to be open to being a full support system - that’s what being in a relationship is all about

[OlderAndWiser]

No one should feel compelled to date a person if the relationshp would be uncomfortable for them.

[CubsterShura]

You have the right to do that but that's pretty inconsiderate. I can understand depending on individual circumstances it can be very hard to deal with mental health problems, but given how common depression is it's quite the stretch to paint everyone with the same brush.

[CubsterShura]

Also I know a lot of people with depression in healthy and happy relationships. Also not to forget you can develop depression while in a relationship.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I don't mean to reject them wholeheartedly - I can still be their friend if they want to.

[iNeedAdvicePlss]

I think if you don't think you can handle it, or take care of the person, or if you think that it will effect you to much than I don't think it's a bad thing, they will find someone else more suited and you will avoid damaging yourself or them further

[PinkRose24]

Independent people can be depressed too.

I don't think you should get into a relationship with a person who is dealing with depression currently. If you're already in a committed relationship with that person and they get depressed later on that's different.

[melanieeeB]

No I don't think so. I personally don't mind depressiv phases, we all have them but depression... hell no I ain't doing that or any other mental health problem ever again.

[IveGotNoName]

If you do not feel equipped to do so, it is definitely better for both of you.

If you knew about their depression and decided to start dating them in spite of that, and then later try to use that as a reason to break up, you're in the wrong.

[IveGotNoName]

Depressed doesn't mean codependant by the way

[vduong1988]

my boyfriend has a mental depression i love him cause i feel bad for him cause he gets sad and hurt his ex girlfriend dump him cause he has a mental depression she yell at him also i have mental depression too i get anxiety I never yell at my boyfriend i just want him to make him happy.

[CrazyGirl2]

No, dating someone who suffers with depression is not a bad thing at all, but dating someone BECAUSE they have depression is sick and repugnant!

[TacosRAwesome]

No it's not wrong and I go through depressive phases.

[fonduegirl]

Of course not.

Unless you abandon them midway during relationship when they're going through something tough.

[Anonymous]

It is honestly your choice, if you like them them then try moving closer you may not be able to help them but you can help them find someone who can help them if they have not found someone already. But again its your choice

[Anonymous]

I don't see it as being wrong at all. And it is probably a good idea for the depressed person to be getting professional help before dating anyway.

[CarolineW]

I agree. It sounds terrible, but depressed people can bring you down. I avoid them

[TheSpaceGnome]

Medical depression isn't real. Only being sad because of something is real. So it would depend why she is sad, if it's because she is a negative person, then no.

[Juxtapose]

Your mood changes when your gut bacteria changes and you don't think it's medical?

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Juxtapose My mood does not change based on gut bacteria changes unless the change causes discomfort for an extended period and I get fed up with it.

My mood is effected by acknowledging entertainment, comfort, saftey, and knowledge.

[Juxtapose]

Your gut bacteria produces most of your serotonin dude.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Juxtapose Serotonin doesn't effect mood, it effects physical touch sensations and sleep cycles. Higher serotonin just makes me tired, and I hate being tired. And yes, I'm aware melotonin also does this, I'm no confusing the two.

[TheSpaceGnome]

not*

[TheSpaceGnome]

Improved mood is from adrenaline.

[TheSpaceGnome]

But only because it gives energy to do things that directly improve mood, so really its just fun that improves mood, not the adrenaline itself.

[Juxtapose]

Serotonin plays a very direct role in regulating your mood.

"Serotonin is a chemical that carries messages between nerve cells in the brain and throughout your body. Serotonin plays a key role in such body functions as mood, sleep, digestion, nausea, wound healing, bone health, blood clotting and sexual desire."

my.clevelandclinic.org/.../22572-serotonin

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Juxtapose No it doesn't

"Mood: Serotonin in your brain regulates your mood. It’s often called your body’s natural “feel good” chemical."
I don't have any "feel good chemicals" I do not feel better emotionally from consuming anything, food or drink wise, and never have.

"When serotonin is at normal levels, you feel more focused".
No, when I'm having an adrenaline rush I feel more focused.

"emotionally stable"
I'm never emotionally unstable.

"happier and calmer."
calm = unhappy, I HATE relaxing.

"Low levels of serotonin are associated with depression."
No, life sucking is associated with depression, my mood can do an instant 180 from good news alone, no serotonin or other chemical stimulation required.

"Many medications used to treat anxiety, depression and other mood disorders often target ways to increase the level of serotonin in your brain."
None have ever worked.

[TheSpaceGnome]

This result by the way has been the case before and after antibiotics that kill all the bacteria the digestive tract, my ability to have a good or bad mood was unchanged.

[DiegoO]

I will tell you my personal experience.

Don not date anyone who is depressive. You'll be looking for in that person, something she/he can not give you, or even reciprocate. I mean to say: love/affection

[DiegoO]

Overtime you may feel resentment.

[DiegoO]

Confusion and frustration. You'll feel you are giving more than you should.

[Anonymous]

No way in hell. And don't date a rape victim. That sounds horrible, but so is suicide.

[Iron_Man]

It’s wrong because you can help people out. People can find depression for all kinds of reason nobody gets a free pass in life death people getting fired problems in the family things happen.

[LenaBanana]

No, everyone should stay away from depressed people.

[alcorriher]

i’d try & help the best i can. that wouldn't not keep me from dating him just bc he had depression

[KrakenAttackin]

Not at all, you can't be responsible for their mental health issues.

[Anonymous]

No. In fact I think it's the healthiest choice for BOTH your sakes.

[exitseven]

No, everyone has their preferences.

[Jamie05rhs]

But you're already married.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

It's rethorical question, I don't date anyone. Sometimes not even my wife.

[LazerBean]

Not at all.

[collie22]

Can you cheer her up?

[LimitedBenefits101]

I avoid depressed women.

[jimmy2]

I would not touch that one

[Joker_]

yeah