Do men really think we have it easy in the dating world?

[ChicanaChick]

We have it hard too. If too many men just want a girlfriend to have a great time with, to live together, be romantic with but won't commit and give her kids, we lose right there. That's time and years he would be taking away from us. I've been doing my vetting process for a while now and I haven't had any luck yet.

A woman that can only get a man to have sex with, or be his girlfriend but can't get a man to commit is losing right there. From a biological point of view, we're losing right there. If out of 100 men available, only 5 of them are the types to settle down, then we have it hard in the dating world too.

Updates

+1 y

I know 30 is right around the corner and if I don't solve this, I'm going to lose. I don't have time for a super long 5-8 year-old relationship. So nope, things aren't easy for us either. I don't have all the time in the world to be dating forever.

[ProbablyClueless]

The problem is that men see how little it takes to get rejected by a woman. We're on the receiving end of whatever personal crap the woman is processing through, and when you add on the complete lack of effort so many women put into dating; a lot of the men are just tired of it.

We see it happen all the time: women end up rejecting otherwise great men (by the women's own words) who would give them exactly what they want, so they can go get their hearts ripped out by someone more "fun and exciting."

Women absolutely have their problems in the dating world, but with all due respect, women's dating problems can be solved super easily:

• Stop trying to fix people. Bad boys aren't puppies.
• Take a few seconds to appreciate the connections you have with people, instead of focusing on what the connections lack.
• Actually participate in and contribute to your relationships. I'm not sure why it needs to be explained that men want to feel appreciated.
• Learn how to communicate like an adult. Again, I don't understand why this is so difficult.
• Stop gossiping with your girlfriends about your relationship.

Women might lose when they don't secure commitment from men. But men lose every second a woman spends flip flopping.

[Siri137]

This is actually good advice for both genders. It turns out you're not "clueless" after all :)

[ProbablyClueless]

@Siri137 Thank you! lol I'm glad I could contribute. I just get so frustrated with today's obsession with the emotional sugar rush in modern dating. Dating is not supposed to be exciting all or even most of the time. If you get along really well with someone and you find them attractive, but you don't really feel that "spice" that makes you want to jump their bones all the time; that's probably a great a sign of someone you should marry.

[ChicanaChick]

I actually met a man like that (someone I wasn't lusting for and thought he would fit for the marriage type) and would've been happy. Yet, he admitted to being asexual and didn't want kids. To be honest, if he would've just been asexual or little sex drive but was at least interested in marriage and kids, I wouldn't mind not doing it too much. I'm willing to compromise on some things if I were to find the one to marry.

[ProbablyClueless]

Ahhh man. I'm sorry to hear it! Sometimes people just miss the mark for each other,

[HighValue]

Women ruined marriage with abuse and theft for generations.

A couple can be committed to each other, exclusive, have kids, etc. Without being legally married.

If a woman wants a good man for an exclusive LTR, she needs to be a good woman too. For example, no past of casual sex, no contact with any ex, no kids from past relationships, no past drug use or heavy alcohol drinking, no posting provocative/revealing pictures online, no flirting with others, no NEW opposite gender friends or sharing relationship details with them so they can intentionally give bad advice to ruin her relationship, and be FAIR to the man in the relationship by not expecting him to bring so much more to the relationship.

If she can manage that, which VERY FEW women can, she should have a relatively easy time finding a good partner.

Something she needs to do though is NOT be with any man that has a past that includes the things I listed too. Avoid men with the same bad qualities that good men avoid in women.

[ChicanaChick]

If you mean co-parenting, that's an immediately no. If the only option to have kids is co-parenting then I'd rather be single and have nothing than risk being another future single mother and then have an even harder time finding a suitable man to settle down with.

[ChicanaChick]

But men with bad qualities are to be ditched. This is why I've been doing the vetting process.

[HighValue]

Would you sign a prenuptial agreement so the man loses nothing if eventually divorced?

[ChicanaChick]

Yes. I got my own assets, cars and house too. I've been living on my own for years already.

[HighValue]

Theft during divorce is the main reason men avoid marriage. A prenuptial agreement should help.
But I am curious, do you meet many of the qualities of a good woman like I listed earlier?

[ChicanaChick]

I meet them, yes. I know about that situation and wouldn't be happy either if someone stole from me.

[HighValue]

If you meet those, which is VERY rare from what I have seen in life, then I think you should have a good chance of getting a good partner. Don't waste your time on guys that don't meet those same qualities though.
Where do you look to meet a partner? Or what have you tried so far?

[Xoxocutekitty]

Women have more opportunities to have someone...

- spike your drink
- call you a bitch for not putting out
- call you 'not girlfriend material' for putting out to early
- leak your nudes on social media
- be dishonest about only using you for sex (if it's mutual that's fine, however, many times it's not)
- get assaulted (happens a lot on college campuses)

That said, dating isn't easier for the average man who has to go out of his way to get any female attention. There's just a handful of chads that really ruin it for everyone.

[ChicanaChick]

yeah the users ruin it for the rest of us, making the dating world harder

[Anonymous]

Dating is actually harder for women. Men having low standards is a complete myth. If a woman isn't under 30, slim, attractive, she is invisible to most men. A lot of men aren't even looking for love nowadays, theyre just looking for sex. Not uncommon for a woman to be used by guys just for sex. There is no reason for a man to marry if he can get sex and attention from women as a single guy

[ChicanaChick]

This is why my only option would be doing the ''no sex till marriage'' approach. Give them nothing, no free relationship benefits (unlimited access to sex and meals) for them until there is a ring in my finger at least.

[ChicanaChick]

This will greatly reduce my dating pool by a lot but it'll sure weed out all the men that are only after sex, that only want a girlfriend but not a wife (same bs.. they still get sex) and the very few ones that still remain in the line are the ones to settle down with.

[Opinion Owner]

I dont think any guy would date years without sex. unless he's a church boy or something. Men are very sexual creatures. But if you want me to be honest, church boys tend to be way better guys than the typical ones in general

[Awesomesauce2005]

Not always though, some of the churchyard boys are liars

[Pohjolan]

The majority of guys are looking for a long term committed relationship. If you have prioritised fuckboys then that's on you.
And being fat is optional.

[Opinion Owner]

@Pohjolan

Majority of men are only looking for a woman under 30, slim and attractive. Men have higher standards than women. Older men are only looking to date women at least 15 to 20 years younger.

The only reason why men complain about women having high standards is cuz they only chase after young, very attractive women who have plenty of options. So when these guys get rejected by them, they complain that all wom3n have high standards.

Plenty of women have lower standards. Its just that women with lower standards are often IGNORED

[Awesomesauce2005]

Where pray tell would I find women with lower standards? Walmart?

[Opinion Owner]

@Awesomesauce2005

women with lower standards are the ones who are invisible to you

[Pohjolan]

How many times have you actually made a move on a guy and have been rejected?

[ChicanaChick]

@Pohjolan
Many men want a long-term relationship (boyfriend and girlfriend) for years but never propose.

[Pohjolan]

@ChicanaChick
Women are also permitted to propose on February 29:th.
(Opposite day.)

[Opinion Owner]

@Pohjolan

What she meant was... lotta guy do not want commitment. They are not proposing for a reason

[Pohjolan]

And I ask you again. How many times have you actually made a move on a guy only to be rejected?
You are anonymous here so no need to be shy.

[Opinion Owner]

@Pohjolan

Women typically get rejected less often because they tend to approach men less or make the first move less.

[Pohjolan]

"Women typically get rejected less often because they tend to approach men less or make the first move less."
Firstly that doesn't answer my question.
Secondly what matters is the rate of success.
If women are successful one time out of five but men one time of fifty then women objectively have it easier.

[Miristheiss]

Yes. In certain areas. Most women can have endless attention, endless suitors, could have sex anytime they wanted but there issue is that the guy the want doesn't want them. 50 other guys may want her but not the one she is after. The guy she is dating won't commit to her or give her a relationship. They always get attention, are pursued, have dating options, are desired sexually, can get sex... etc.

Most men have a harder time getting girls to date them, have fewer options. If they stopped pursuing women, taking chances, flirting, asking out girls, giving girls attention then they'd be 100% alone.

[ChicanaChick]

yes and if we don't select right, the consequences are more devastating such as not being able to get pregnant if he keeps us as a girlfriend forever and we remain childless after a certain age or becoming a single mother if we get pregnant from a boyfriend that never marries us and breaks up.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Women these days don’t deserve children

[Miristheiss]

And?
Did you miss the first line where I said "CERTAIN AREAS" All the areas I mentioned were the initial courting, attention, being pursued, having sex if they want it at any time. I mentioned already the women struggle in getting the ONE guy they want or getting a committed relationship. You are just
mentioning OTHER AREAS. The long term stuff. You could have just made your own single post. No need to respond to me as if your post contradicted mine. It DID NOT.

[bobby_bush_eater]

Dating friends. You undoubtedly have easier access but that doesn't make finding good men easier. Especially with the sensitivity of you can get pregnant and a man can then leave. Some men can be extremely deceptive with their intentions as well.

However it's way easier for you to meet people for potential relationships and for sex if that's what you want.

I think you genuinely underestimate how difficult things are for a man who isn't exceptional in some regard. The average guy has it absolutely brutal, the average girl has options.

[ChicanaChick]

That's why it's bad getting pregnant when the guy is just a boyfriend that can easily break-up and leave. Then the woman ends up being a single mother. She only got a guy that gave sex but not commitment.

[bobby_bush_eater]

@ChicanaChick I wholeheartedly agree with you. I literally am now celibate and will not have sex again until I'm married because of my current view on hookup culture and premarital sex. Men and women get too caught up in physical pleasure and attraction (which is obviously important) nowadays instead of comparability, values, and goals

[ChicanaChick]

My point exactly. There has to be similar goals too. Both of them have to be on the same page indeed.

[Bricealan]

Consider this: Men don't want to commit for a reason. Relationships seem to be fragile, and marriages can be dissolved in a heartbeat, and long term relationships, followed by marriage and divorce can leave a lifetime of financial hardship, anger, frustration for both parties. My marriage ended in divorce after only a brief period and it took me ten years to recover from the nightmare. I cried in divorce court like a child before a woman judge, and she understood the grief I felt.

I never want to do that again.

[ChicanaChick]

I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. It must be tough. My parents are still married though so I guess they got lucky to have each other or maybe latinos and hispanics are generally more serious when it comes to commitment. The only time my parents would actually file for divorce is if infidelity ever occurs. I have that same mentality as them too.
I think it's about vetting the person. The right man or woman would have to come from a good family. I have my own assets and frankly don't want someone else's money, just commitment.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

There's this woman who I enjoy being around and admire in several ways. I know she wants me to ask her out but she sleeps around too much.

And not like she has one night stands and is just sexually adventurous. She gets into these very short relationships with guys who kinda suck. And even though she's a sweet and loyal woman, I've never seen her demonstrate that she really understands what commitment to another person is or that she wants to be with me or any one guy more than another.

Aside from being a turn off, it just makes me loose interest in something serious.

I want a woman to raise kids with, own a house with and occasionally party with. How am I supposed to want to date you if you have no problem jumping from one deadbeat to the next and then you don't show any effort or stick your neck out at all?

[ChicanaChick]

She's not right for you and you would need to search for a serious woman and forget her.

[CriticalCatDad123]

🤣 a serious women? What do you mean by that?

[ChicanaChick]

@CriticalCatDad123
The one @Telekinetic-Potato is talking about isn't serious if she sleeps around too much.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

@ChicanaChick Facts

[CriticalCatDad123]

There is no such thing as a serious woman in that regard. All of my exes cheated on me. All women cheat in one way or another maybe she hugs a guy friend yeah I absolutely consider hugging cheating

[Telekinetic-Potato]

@CriticalCatDad123 have fun with that

[CriticalCatDad123]

I definitely will because I plan to stay single

[CaptainOverthink]

I think finding a longterm partner and that amounting to something more is just as hard for most.

What men mean when they say "women have it easier in dating" is that men can't just say "yes" and be on their way to the bedchamber. We must be, or seem to be worth something. It's always an uphill battle and most will face a big chunk of their 20s alone and mostly unwanted.

Ofc, this is an oversimplification, womens world is so fundamentally different, we can't really compare. It's not a fair comparison.
We're just jealous because we wish we could just get our sexual affirmation on-demand. But we must work.

[ChicanaChick]

yes we're different creatures than men. Our form of scoring is different. While guys can score base on how many women he was able to land in bed, we scored base on who was the man who proposes marriage and invest his resources (well in the part, I have assets and resources too but still, two income is better than one) for our kids and being able to obtained that within our fertile years.

[ChicanaChick]

That's why for a us, just getting sex out of a man is worthless. We can get that easier but harder to get commitment out of him.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Why should men commit when everything by is always stacked against him?

[ChicanaChick]

@CriticalCatDad123
Why should all of us getting overgeneralized?

[CriticalCatDad123]

Women do have it easy though. Women don't do the asking they wait around for a guy to ask her out. Men have to deal with rejection all the time which makes them less vindictive than women.


Men are getting sick of being used on dates by women who are entitled and condescending.


Politics plays a major part in this too. Men are more conservative and women are more liberal. Which makes it that much more difficult to find someone with shared values.

The Mating Crisis: Why the dating market is doomed - https://youtu. be/txRSxee7gDo? si=WD6o7HRKZtZ93gxY

[CriticalCatDad123]

The Mating Crisis: Why the dating market is doomed - https://youtu.be/txRSxee7gDo?si=WD6o7HRKZtZ93gxY*

[TheSpaceGnome]

Dating isn't a market, a market has competition, but people are very unique. Its actually very rare for most people to find a matching personality/someone who has most things in common with them.
So there is very little competition in most cases.
A better analogy than "market value" would be "treasure hunting", or "finding a needle in a haystack".
People only think competition is common in dating when they aren't picky enough to find a spouse.

On dates you should spend time together hanging out doing shared hobbies, not spending money at a restaurant or movie.

I'm actually more liberal, many guys are. But not in the red vs blue politician context, republicans and democrats are the same exact thing and the "differences" are just a show to fool the masses do they don't pay attention to the fact that votes don't matter.

[TheSpaceGnome]

so* not "do"

[CriticalCatDad123]

It is competition though... Women will be dating more than one guy at the same time.

Also, in my case I'm an asexual conservative who doesn't want kids or marriage. No woman would want to be with a guy like me and to be honest I've grown to accept that over the years and have become too happy being single compared to in a relationshit with a woman.

[TheSpaceGnome]

No, it isn't. You cannot date multiple people at the sane time and successfuly find a match.

Women who date multiple guys eventually end up alone (usually as single moms), because monogamy and priority are requirements. We cannot base proper dating practices on people who are failures.

[CriticalCatDad123]

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLmaPR1w/

[TheSpaceGnome]

I'm not using tiktok

[CriticalCatDad123]

Than you're not going to understand why I said what I said

[TheSpaceGnome]

It doesn't matter why you said what you said.

[CriticalCatDad123]

In that case, what you said doesn't matter either

[TheSpaceGnome]

Divorce scenarios vs successful marriages would suggest otherwise.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Not refuting that. What does that have to do with women dating multiple men at the same time? It happens more than you know and how would a guy know his date isn't seeing some other guy tomorrow and eventually chooses the other guy over you because he has more money? You know nothing

[TheSpaceGnome]

"What does that have to do with women dating multiple men at the same time?"

Everything, women who do that aren't marriage material, you have to date one person at a time or you cannot find a perfect match, it does not matter that it happens, it matters that when it happens, its not a valid path to finding a spouse, so the people who do that are not part of the dating pool.

My point was that there might be maybe a handful of women in your state that are a perfect match for you. They probably won't be in the same area, and you will probably meet them years apart (if at all). So the odds of having more than one GOOD option at a time is astronomically low, so REAL competition (not casual bullshit), its extremely rare.

You are talking about casual bullshit, where people date shortly after meeting someone instead of 3 years after being best friends who do all the same hobbies together and spend most of their time together. Its simply not possible to date for real with more than one person, and even if you could, good luck finding 1 match, let alone 2!

[TheSpaceGnome]

Whats happening when women date multiple guys at once, is she is not taking getting a relationship serriously, so none of those guys are going to keep her.

[CriticalCatDad123]

I don't have any female friends nor do I want any the last time I had a female Friend I was falsely accused and served an ex parte ppo in which I had to take the girl and it to court and all I could do was slap myself with a civil temporary restraining order to remove the PPO and dropped out of college. It's been 7 years sense then. I don't trust nor care about women enough to befriend any

[CriticalCatDad123]

She's a female guy's will stay with a female until she leaves him. Men are just as stupid as women

[CriticalCatDad123]

No woman is worth a relationship

[TheSpaceGnome]

The only way for a marriage to work is to marry a best friend, outside of that, it WILL fail.

[CriticalCatDad123]

I don't disagree that is the best way to do it unfortunately it's rare these days

[CriticalCatDad123]

I do not believe being friends with a woman is worth it because she has other male friends doing the same thing you are regardless of whether you consider yourself her best friend and even then that doesn't mean you're going to end up with her if you're her best friend she could still end up with another guy and you being her best friend will only threaten her relationship with said other guy

[TheSpaceGnome]

I don't agree, plenty of women are worth it, its just that one man's treasure is another's trash.
This is why there is no competition in dating, everyone wants something different, the demand for "the same thing" just isn't there among the masses.

[CriticalCatDad123]

All of my exes cheated on me they weren't worth it. The woman who falsely accused me wasn't worth shit. Multiple women I happened to see were just cheating on their boyfriends. Tell me how a woman is worth it because in my experience none of them are

[TheSpaceGnome]

Those other male friends aren't matches, so they aren't competition, they are imstead my new friends.
If they were competition, she'd have taken one already before I even met her.

[CriticalCatDad123]

All of you shit headed assholes can keep trying I've been out of the DATING MARKET for years and will never jump back in

[CriticalCatDad123]

Good luck with that dumbass

[TheSpaceGnome]

I don't care if you jump back in or not, it has no impact on me, but you aren't going to discourage me either.

[CriticalCatDad123]

I don't have to discourage you a woman will do that for me

[Apple1996]

It's ridiculously dumb for men to think that. There aren't many good men in the world to choose from. Most men are addicts of some sort, abusers or just act like childern. We usually end up having to settle for a man with one of those terrible qualities

[red324]

Oh please, I'm none of those. Although I am a bit stingy with money, but that's only because I'm pretty much the only one left in my family, so I know nobody is going to bail me out if I run out

[Apple1996]

@red324 I've never met a men without at least one of those qualities tbh

[Awesomesauce2005]

"I'm here and I'm not queer!" Also I don't drink, I dont smoke, i dont dip, i dont vape, i dont play video games anymore, i have worked the same job for 4 years and gotten several raises. Im lonely and I want kids, additionally I really want a woman who will commit and not use me for my money

[Awesomesauce2005]

Anyone know where I can find a woman that would be happy with this?

[DrPepper12]

@Awesomesauce2005 yes. The book store, the library, volunteering, gym, DATING app NOT sex app, hobbies, park, museum, coworkers, etc.

[FunkyMonkee]

ABSOLUTELY!! What's the hard part?
You see a guy that you like and walk over to him (or slink over, if you like) and start chatting him up! With the slightest bit of luck, you'll be boppin' his baloney before the night's over!!
For guys, you see a girl you like, you go over and try to talk with her and she immediately shoots you down!! ICY cold shoulder! You spot another girl you like, you go talk with her she talks but, eventually starts talking about her nubby/boyfriend!! You see another girl you go over and before you can start talking with her, she screams, "RAAAAPPPPE!!!" The next girl tells you to piss off! The next one throws her drink in your face. You finally get to the ugliest girl in the room! Your last hope!! She turns out to be a guy in drag!!

[SomothErgai]

The difference is that you have the option of dating a very large volume of men in order to weed out the ones who won't fit the bill. Men do not have that kind of free range on average.

Believe it or not most men want to raise a family too. And they also want to raise that family with the right woman who will be loyal and not be a crazy emotional psychopath.

And yes, we also want to have sex with a lot of women. But that's in the hopes of finding the one who is the best fit.

The problem is the vast majority of men cannot just go show interest in nearly any female and get a date. Whereas women CAN do that. All you have to do is show a little bit of interest, and often not even that, and men will flock to you.

That is, unless there is just something hideously wrong with you like you have 7 eyes or some shit.

When men say women "have it easy" in dating it's because it is literally Infinitely easier for you to get a date than it is for us.

[Purpleronnie]

I don’t think that women have it easy , I feel that their struggle to find a partner can be every bit as difficult as man’s albeit maybe for different reasons and I couldn’t possibly comment on why you personally are having difficulties. You’re talking about having kids though and while I understand it adds another complexity for you to perhaps find the right man to discover he then doesn’t want kids , if a guy can’t even find a woman to have the chance of dating then his problems are somewhat more profound… no? Also forgive me for saying but why would you assume that not being able to have children before being middle aged is just a woman’s problem? There are guys out there who would give a testicle or more to be able to have kids as a family

[Anonymous]

I think women have it easier. For one women find about 80% of men unattractive. So women are chasing that top % of men. Those top % of men are basically in a candy store. Can pick n eat whatever flavor of candy they want then try something else. These are the men who most likely aren’t going to commit. Women go after these men, a lot of them get treated the same way. Then women end up bitter, saying all men are dogs when a large majority of men have never even gotten a chance at being w a lady. Even the not so best looking girl could get a man to sleep w her if she wanted to. He may not be the cutest but there’s a lot of men who would sleep w her. Her equivalent in a man would never even stand a chance. Women would not sleep w him at all even if he was the most loyalest, loving, dependable man.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I'm the type to commit, but I don't want kids, just marriage.

Women have an easier time dating because men do not view women's advances as a reason to report them for harrassment.

Whereas many women nowadays will treat a man like a creep just for saying they are pretty or asking them out.

I've never personally had this problem, as I do not ask out/hit on anyone (because the women tend to hit on me first so I don't have to), but its common enough for guys that I see them complain about it very often.

Despite that, I have an extremely hard time finding a woman who is worth marrying (ie finding a match), there are plenty who liked me that way, but there was always a problem, like they wanted kids, or they were religious, or were in another country, or they didn't share my hobbies and interests, etc etc. So in that respect, I have a harder time dating than most women (and most men).

[DextroShade]

Cry me a fucking river. In a time where most dudes can't even get a date, I have zero sympathy for entitled women who screw up every opportunity they get to have relationships. If you want a guy to take you seriously, you have to be proactive (especially if he's worth a damn). You need to show him that you are good for more than just sex. You can do this by not having contact with previous sexual partners, not posting slutty thirst trap pictures on social media, not going out to bars/clubs or on girls' trips, and not having male "friends", and giving him access to your phone. Domestic skills like cooking and cleaning go a long way as well, if you are the only girl he has over who cleans his place without being asked you will standout.

Also, make sure he's actually looking for a relationship; if he's a young guy with money like a celebrity or athlete he's probably not looking for monogamy.

[tzdc21]

At least you have the privileged of being wanted just for existing. We have to build ourselves up for you to even glance our way. And even then it's not even a fraction of the attention you receive on a daily. I would trade your struggles for mine ANY DAY.

[ChicanaChick]

But just getting men after sex and not commitment feels empty. If I wanted to do a social experiment and ask for sex, too many would line up for that. It's getting one that actually places a ring, commits and gives me kids during my fertile years the hard part.

[CriticalCatDad123]

What you seem to lack understanding is do women even deserve all of those things?

[ChicanaChick]

@CriticalCatDad123
Do every single women deserve to pay the price of what some rotten apples do? Does any gender even deserves to be overgeneralized?

[CriticalCatDad123]

Women do because they haven’t shown a reason not to be over generalized. Men on the other hand always get the shit end of the stick and have been brainwashed and programmed to believe being a slave to a woman is somehow a good thing or somehow their purpose in life. It’s just sad and I will not conform to it

[ChicanaChick]

@CriticalCatDad123
So I should freely let just a boyfriend live in my own house (yes I live on my own too and have my own assets.. I don't need anyone's money), return exhausted from work and still cook him meals and clean the place, believe in his promise of one day committing and give him my remaining 4 years, risking not getting commitment in return? I should just let a temporarily person in my house? Besides words, what reasons would I have to blindly believe him that I'll get proposed in return?

[CriticalCatDad123]

I could say the exact same thing. How do I know a woman won’t stay loyal and committed to me? My experience all of my exes cheated on me before I gave up entirely on women and love and relationships in general. Yes not all women will cheat, but the next one will falsely accuse and I dealt with that too. Then the next will use me for me money. And the next will do something else.

[ChicanaChick]

@CriticalCatDad123
So no one wins in return. It becomes a neverending war between the genders. We're in a stalemate position, where neither side is willing to yield. There are no winners. You don't want a losing position but I don't want a losing position for me either.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Best thing to do is stay single unfortunately no one knows how to do that. In that regard, I’m winning. The only way to win is to not play the game.

[ChicanaChick]

@CriticalCatDad123
If everyone (men and women) did that, eventually the population declines, less babies in the hospitals and if no one is mating ever, our species will eventually die. So yeah no one wins by then.

[CriticalCatDad123]

I honestly couldn’t care less. I’m asexual and don’t plan on reproducing. I heard babies can be made in bags. No need for the old fashioned way. 🤷🏻‍♂️ women are already looking into this. They’re using seems stealing insemination kits to force men to become dads without his permission. I made a question on here regarding that.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Semen*

[tzdc21]

I'm gonna be honest with you and it's not meant to be an insult but it's the truth. The reason why it's hard to lock a guy down for a lot of women is because many women don't know what it is that men want from a relationship and don't try to learn. And why would they? The options come to them when they don't have to do anything but exist. But that does come back to bite you when it comes to keeping them around. Many go around thinking "what can I get from this guy?" But they never stop to think "What can I give to this guy? What does he want?" And you can see it all the time when women are asked "what do you bring to the table and what does the guy have to bring to the table?" The women will list off all 500 things a guy has to bring to the table without stopping, stuttering or blinking because they have thought about this long and hard. But when they are asked what do THEY bring in return, that's when the hesitation comes out, that's when the stuttering comes out, and then they make up stuff on the fly and say things that both people should be bringing like: love, trust, respect and support. That's why it's hard for many women nowadays to lock a guy down. This isn't meant to be an insult or hateful or spiteful in any way, shape, or form. I'm just calling it as it is.

[ChicanaChick]

@CriticalCatDad123
If you're asexual that makes a difference. You makes you not single out of bitterness but because of an orientation. Doing what makes you happy is good. Being hateful towards an entire gender isn't.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Doesn’t matter

[Anonymous]

OK I see we're laying all our cards on the table. OK. Yes, women have it easier because men are talking about the vast majority of women. The majority of women have no intention of finding a man and settling down. At least for anything more than a few seasons. So if you're being honest you're already in the minority. Secondly most women are looking for Chris Hemsworth clone and the bank account to match. That I'm sure you'll never admit to either. I could keep going. But the REALITY is most women do have it easy. The just choose to make it hard. Because she has caviar tastes. And most WILL eventually compromise. But like you wait till AFTER 30 when thier marketability diminishes.

[Chazmatazz269]

If you can’t handle dating as a woman, dating as a man would destroy you.
Also, nobody can “take” time from you. You’re spending your time as you choose. He’s a human being who doesn’t live forever too. Do you also feel as though you’re stealing time from the men you don’t commit to? Ell oh ell!
You haven’t settled down because you still relate to the world as a child would. If you want a good man, you’ll have to be a good woman.

[NamerOfStars]

I was going to say "Right, because every woman in the world wants the same thing", but your problems actually run much deeper. Guys don't "take" years from you; very few men in the dating market are temporal wizards. You SPEND years together, but it's your decision; you're not a victim simply because things don't turn out the way you want.

Your life is your own; it does not belong to everyone with more power than you have.

[DrPepper12]

Dating! HELL NO!! Trying to weed out the scrubs, the leeches, the dead ends, the cheaters and the zero personalities must be a very very exhausting task.

That said, while dating may be difficult getting laid is so damn easy it's laughable.

[Awesomesauce2005]

If getting laid is so easy why have I failed miserably?

[DrPepper12]

@Awesomesauce2005 I was replying to @ChicanaChick as she is a chick n it's ez

[Awesomesauce2005]

Oh I understand lol

[ChicanaChick]

Yes getting laid is easy for us. If I were to do a social experiment asking who was to have sex, I get a bunch of men lined up. Big deal. If I were to just want a boyfriend to have fun with, get romantic and live together, still many men would line up for that. Big deal. He's still getting sex.
The point is getting a man to proposal marriage, to actually commit and have kids aka landing a keeper. That's scoring for us.

[ChicanaChick]

and landing a keeper during our fertile years, on time.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Maybe if marriage and commitment weren’t a prison sentence for men more men would marry and commit to women

[ChicanaChick]

@CriticalCatDad123
Maybe if you stop thinking all of us are bad things would change. I shouldn't have to pay the price for certain rotten apples. I didn't do what they did.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Nothing would change for the better I’d rather not be as fucking slave to a woman I doubt other men would want the same

[ChicanaChick]

@CriticalCatDad123
Well my parents are still married and happily committed. Maybe it's an latino/hispanic culture. I'm not white, I'm Mexican-American. Generally we tend to take things seriously.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Well my mom cheated on my dad and told him to his face she didn’t love him anymore the day his dad died. He cried in my bedroom and I had to console him. Sure he’s remarried now because he’s a Pussy who apparently needs a pussy to feel relevant.

[DrPepper12]

I don't envy women in this area. Like I said, it has to be just completely exhausting to find that guy.

[DrPepper12]

@CriticalCatDad123 I'm not a fan of monogamy but a prison sentence? It's a partnership in every sense of the word.

[ChicanaChick]

@CriticalCatDad123
I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your parents. A child shouldn't ever grow up in a dysfuctional household. I do hope you realize not every single woman on this earth are like your mother.

[CriticalCatDad123]

@ChicanaChick, so far women have just shown me that they’re no different by way of their actions. I don’t trust the words of a woman for a second.

To each their own, @DrPepper12

[Starrrboy]

Most guys think that way just because it's easier for a woman to find someone and she'll always have some value just by existing.. but they're completely missing out that women have way more to lose which makes it harder for them to choose.. reality is that no one have it easier.. you have challenges as a man, and you have risks as a woman.. and if the dating scene is bad, it's because both men and women are terrible lol..

[ChicanaChick]

yeah there is a lot more to lose if we can't get a good man that commits. definitely.

[dolemite58]

I have zero sympathy for girls not getting everything they want when they’re dating. Even below average looking girls are very picky and it’s genuinely delusional. Guys have to be above average in nearly every way to even have a fraction of the access to sex that women get to have for just merely existing.

[PeachyPie93]

Dating isn't about sex though lol. Even when girls lower their standards guys still completely suck and will try to use them for sex, never love. That is why even us ugly girls will choose a hot guy first because if you are gonna be used, the guy should at least be hot.

[dolemite58]

Why do you always have to turn everything into a rant about being ugly it’s too Daria 🤣 Ofc Dating is about sex u dork or else everyone would just be asexual acquaintances to each other. And what does lowering your standards mean? Why do girls always act like men are a work in progress while they’re these perfect beings that get to sit back and judge us?

[PeachyPie93]

LOL cuz you always say ugly girls get sex but guys don't unless they are special in someway but girls usually want love and not sex, but ugly women rarely get love. And to lower your standards is to go for ugly or broke guys lol. And because it's men who let women act like that. If men didn't put up with shit from women and stopped fucking everything they can and actually had standards women. They wouldn't be able to act like that and the trash women wouldn't think they where amazing just because they look good. It's men who feed women's delusions lol.

[PeachyPie93]

*standards for women

[dolemite58]

@PeachyPie93 but these girls that can say I don’t want ugly or broke guys are usually themselves ugly or broke, guys don’t get to have that privilege 😂 and no way it’s women that have opened Pandora’s box by being such hoe hoe’s now a days 😝 hookup culture wouldn’t exist if women didn’t allow it

[PeachyPie93]

LOL that is true but because guys fuck them it makes them think they are worth more than they actually are since they get the attention.

[dolemite58]

@PeachyPie93 you just perfectly described the concept of Hoflation 🤣

[LaurenM1997]

No dating isn’t about SEX it’s about spending time together going and doing stuff together and love each other not about sex everyday or anything along the lines of that yes sometimes have sex but not all the time 🤦‍♀️

[CriticalCatDad123]

I agree, @LaurenM1997. Sex isn’t everything. There is more to life than sex.

[LaurenM1997]

@CriticalCatDad123 that’s true

[LaurenM1997]

I agree

[ChicanaChick]

The point is getting sex within commitment too, not just sex and then a break-up, all for nothing. The point (well for me and other women too) is finding men that are dating to settle down and have kids aka dating with intention, not just dating just to have sex and nothing else.

[whistlingwh0res]

Women can get sugar daddy easy but then they can’t get date after 30. Men can also get sugar mama but then they can become a gay stripper or gay hooker after they become an adult. So who’s in better condition?

[ChicanaChick]

Pretty much it. If I were to get in a relationship now and a man wastes 4 years of my life, never getting a proposal out of it then I'll be 30 then and screwed.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Only immature and stupid men say that.

Most people are difficult to put up with and it isn't always easy to find someone that fits us just right to be with in particalur long term.

[Awesomesauce2005]

Actually I do think women have it hard but still not as hard as men due to the fact women don't date 80% based on looks like men do. The rejection rate of men asking out women is waaayyy higher than the rejection rate of women asking out men. I do think women need to start asking out men due to this fact.

[TonyMetal___86]

Do you know why you women have a hard time with men? It's because the majority of you are interested in bad boys and will dump a good decent guy in a blink of an eye, calling him creep or weirdo or such things

[DarkLegacy]

The only reason why women have it hard in the dating world is because they are too picky, and it is that pickyness that makes it hard for men also.

[ChicanaChick]

So we can get a marriage-minded man still? That's the point. Getting sex from any man or just being a man's forever girlfriend... any man would be already in line for that. Getting marriage from a man is the deal.

[Billlewis]

No, I don't think women have it easy when it comes to dating. They can have sex easier, but that can't possibly compensate for all the other drawbacks of dealing with guys.

[ChicanaChick]

The hard part is finding the right man that will commit and not waste our fertile years, give us kids on time.

[Billlewis]

Yes, ma'am, I agree. I just started following you and I'd like to invite you to follow me, as well, if that's alright. Thank you very much.

[ChicanaChick]

I've have you as followed. You're welcome

[nastyb]

@ChicanaChick

Listen, if you want kids, have those kids while you still can. Never rely on a guy to make your dreams come true. Your inability to have kids after a certain age is not his problem and he won't care. You cannot force him to care.

I am not expecting to find the right guy before 40 either. But I am definitely having those kids even if it means doing it without a husband

[nastyb]

@ChicanaChick

Stop expecting for the right man to come along. What will end up happening is that you will comr off as desperate, end up marrying a subpar guy who won't necessarily make a good husband or father. You will just end up divorcing him 10 years later.

[Awesomesauce2005]

@nastyb good men who want to be fathers exist. They are just easily overlooked. I am one of those men.

[nastyb]

@Awesomesauce2005

Im looking for someone educated, gainfully employed. Nowadays lotta guys aren't eithet

[Nikki1989]

We have it worse because we have more to lose.

[ChicanaChick]

Pretty much it. The consequences are higher for us if we don't select right and never get a marriage proposal out of him. We're the ones with a limited time to have kids.

[genericname85]

no we don't. we just rightfully think that you have an easy time to get fucked while we don't.

[ChicanaChick]

but if we only get men to have sex with for years and years, years dating and no commitment, we're screwed and can be alone at some point

[genericname85]

yeah that's a completely different issue tho. my answer to your question is still correct xD i never said you should be fucking around like crazy. i'm saying you "could" do that more easily than any man. and men happen to want to do that a lot, so that's why they're jealous.

[Shy_Steve]

You realise at least about 80% of Single Guys aren't even Dating, That's why you Girls keep going on dates with same types of Guys.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/C9ONWHXCsrk

[Pterodon]

A woman knows if she’s gonna get laid. We never know

[ChicanaChick]

But that's not the point. If I wanted to I can get sex from any man. The point is attracting a marriage-minded man that gives me kids within our limited, timeframe, within our good fertile years.

[ChicanaChick]

We don't win anything by just dating forever and getting sex from many men. From a biological point, that's losing for us.

[Pterodon]

You said dating not marriage

[ChicanaChick]

I'm dating to get married... that's the point. I'm not dating just to date.

[ChicanaChick]

There are two types of dating. Dating to settle down (aka dating with intention) and dating just to date.

[KrakenAttackin]

@ChicanaChick. We don't "think' you have it easier, we "know" you have it easier.

[ChicanaChick]

@KrakenAttackin
But I would be losing if I can't attract a marriage-minded man and only attract the types that want no strings attached or just a girlfriend to have fun with. I would also be losing if I were to ever get pregnant with just a boyfriend and then I would have a higher risk of being a single mother. That's losing to me.

[ChicanaChick]

Living years with a guy and even having a child with him without getting commiment in return... that's losing.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Easy fix. Don't have sex before marriage. Less of an easy fix, men are refusing to get married. Maybe advocate for men and figure out why men don't want to get married and maybe then a guy will want you. @ChicanaChick

Otherwise, have fun being single

[LaurenM1997]

I don’t have it easy was emotional abused in my last relationship

[Brother_of_dogs]

You are right. Men want affection women want commitment. Men aren’t getting affection so they won’t commit and vice versa.


Ignore the haters. This world is hard for everyone

[ChicanaChick]

and in turn, some women are catching up by refusing to give out sex if he isn't giving commitment first. Yeah everything is so hard for everyone.

[Unit1]

Unquestionably so.

Try online dating as a man. You'll see.

[Anonymous]

Men have it harder dating. Women have it harder getting the ring, commitment kids etc..

[ChicanaChick]

We're the ones who end up with bigger consequences if we can't get the ring, commitment and kids or don't get that on time. If never get that and only end up getting a boyfriend to live together, at some point we can't have kids anymore, destroying one of our main ability, our main market value; youth and fertility. Or if we only get kids but with a boyfriend that either bails or even if we do get child support out of him, that doesn't take away that we would still be a single mother and weren't able to get a ring and commitment out of him, destroying our market value because then very fewer men are going to want to date her, raise someone else's child and commit to her.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Maybe if women today were actually worth having children with they wouldn’t be having such a problem

[Opinion Owner]

Chicky, I literally said women have it harder getting the ring etc.. I'm agreeing with you.

[Anonymous]

Do you have heard about sperm donors?

I personally might consider it. Myself

If I was not to find decent guy for commitment

Of course only if you can afford being single

[Opinion Owner]

Also men have higher standard in looks.

[ChicanaChick]

Yes I have but I would be giving that child a miserable life. They are going to eventually ask for who their father was.

[Opinion Owner]

Just tell them truth. Many women are raising kids through this
There are YouTube channel of people having kids through sperm donor.

youtube.com/shorts/NH9hSiDUNnY?si=nKfUgtf2R2ndC2_9

[Opinion Owner]

You don't need to do it. If you don't want to. But this is a option. Anyway

[JHAYES317]

Comparatively speaking to men you do have it easy. That doesn’t mean it’s easy in general though, just a lot EASIER

[Pohjolan]

The majority of guys are seeking a long term committed relationship.

[ChicanaChick]

indeed but how many of them are actually going to propose and give her kids... that's the point

[CriticalCatDad123]

Why should men give her kids? Does she deserve kids? What has she done to prove that she is commitment material? A lot of women don’t deserve kids and aren’t commitment material

[ChicanaChick]

@CriticalCatDad123
So that's not a real long-term committed relationship. There is no commitment so it contradicts your statement. If he won't give her that, then she's not a real girlfriend but a casual girlfriend to have fun with. That's all.

[ChicanaChick]

@CriticalCatDad123
He wants a committed relationship but won't give her commitment and kids... sounds like an oxymoron. That's still casual dating under the diguise of ''boyfriend and girlfriend''.

[CriticalCatDad123]

No point in having a girlfriend in the first place to be honest. Why should a man have a girlfriend? He has friends and family and could always get a dog or a cat. I personally have been blissfully single for 9 years now and I have a cat and friends and family and have been happier single as opposed to in a relationship I’ve always been so unhappy with a woman you have no idea. Not worth committing or having children she’ll just use against you someday

[ChicanaChick]

If he doesn't trust her then it's not a real committed relationship with the purpose of commitment.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Welcome to dating in the real world today for men. Women are untrustworthy and manipulative and only want something from men they don’t want actual love

[ChicanaChick]

@CriticalCatDad123
If you're happy being single with your pets and family then you can do whatever suits you. As long as you're happy that's all that matter. What it's not good is overgeneralizing a whole gender. My parents are still happily married. My mother never failed him and vice-versa.

[Vegasrunner]

You essentially spent the entire post contradicting your own argument

[SoJust]

Yes, some men think that you can easily get you

[itsclearlynicholas]

Depending on the woman, sure they do 😬😉😬😉

[sirderpsalot123]

Not easy, but definitely easier than men.

[dustybiker2]

Pfft

[sirderpsalot123]

@dustybiker2 if a man finds you the slightest bit attractive, he's interested. Pfft nothing

[dustybiker2]

Untrue. Everyone hates me.

[sirderpsalot123]

@dustybiker2 I don't believe that lol

[dustybiker2]

I know. Just felt like saying it.

[DreamLife7]

Does it matter what they think?

[laly520]

many do

[In_Trance]

No we don't