I'm getting tired of listening to friends problems. How can I tell her to stop without being rude?

[Anonymous]

She always cries to me and I don’t mind listening but it’s mostly about her insecurities that she whines about, and how she wants to loose weight and doesn’t want to be fat anymore I told her to loose weight and she said okay but then continues to cry about her weight... like she isn’t trying. It’s really draining , I struggle with weight myself but I don’t whine about it or feel sorry about myself because I know change can be done. and this isn’t the only problems she tells me I feel like I m getting dumped on and it’s annoying how can I tell her to stop without being rude?

[Citizenkirk]

When someone does that to me, I make friendly, helpful suggestions based on solutions that have worked for me or someone I know, or refer them to reference materials that gave a proven track record for reliable information and good advice based commentary from people who know what they are talking about.
If that person persist with droning on about the same issues without making any kind of effort to do something to change the situation for the better, I have a stack of medusius symbols printed for just that type vof problem, printing their first name in the middle, then handing it to them

piece of paper letting them know that their B. S. is getting old, stale, and under my skin, wearing my patience with them, razor thin.
In the nicest possible way, of course. The alternative, being less friendly, and quite possibly involving the need for emergency ambulatory services for said "friend."

[Anonymous]

That's very understandable. I would say first try actively addressing her issues with her the next time she brings it up. Instead of just passively listening, say, okay, I heard your issues before on this, now YOU tell me in your own words, the plan for what you are going to do to change your circumstances. Here is a pen and paper, let's write down what you can start doing now to help yourself lose weight/other issues. This puts the power in her hands. Instead of just complain, she must be the one to come up with solutions for herself, and with it written down, you can bring it up the next time---like, you've already written down the steps you said you were willing to take to get better, here they are, so YOU know what to do, now do them. Start making it clear that she knows what to do, and if she doesn't want to make the changes, there isn't anything else you can add that will help her because only she can change her circumstances.

[nandinikhaneja]

Okay, You know I totally understand this! Because I am the one who always tell people about my problem, not all the time. But yeah, sometimes when I feel like it's time for to put it off my shoulders because it's been putting me at stress so I share it with my friends. I apologize to them for always sharing with them but I think they always make me understand stuff. So, I think if you feel that she is whining so much, you need to tell her once, Don't try to be angry. Just try to tell her in a calm state of mind and wait for 2-3 days. If there is a change, well and good, but if there isn't, then time to distance yourself from her.

[Leavesbound]

Tell her there is nothing wrong with being fat and that lots of guys like gat girls and that if she wants to stay fat she should just stay fat. Tell her you can't help her to stop being fat only she can do that. If she wants to she'll have to do it but that there really isn't anything wrong with being fat.

[Adam1978]

Sometime people need are rude wakeup call. Rude is honest, and they are being selfish when they keep whining. Not until you both knows how each other feels can you treat each other in a better way. She has to deal with her issues instead of complaining about them. I sure you are willing to help in some ways with that.

[Kha0tiic_xo]

Just be honest with her and say look i. m always there for you and I always will be, but I have a lot to deal with myself and I can't always be carrying yours to, it's too much, and if something's going on I want you to tell me, just not everything all the time!

[ChrisMaster69]

Sorry to hear,

really the only way is to be open and honest with her,

Talk to her some place calm, make sure you are calm etc,

then simply explain that her emotional problems also become yours and too many are affecting you.

can you try and reduce what she shares,

[Anonymous]

Don't see her so often. And when you see her and she starts to complain, pretend you haven't heard her and talk about something else, ignore completely the fact that she is complaining just keep changin subject without any comment about what she say. Every time she does it, do the same and you will see that little by little she will stop complaining so much.

[NEOTUNIA2U]

Blast the dance music on, tell her let's dance it out and you both will lose pounds without realizing it, less talking more self love.

[jennifer_bloom]

Tell her you can offer limited comfort but cannot solve her problem for her and she will have to act without prompting from you if she wants her life to be better.

[johnsmithjs]

This is exactly why I would not want to be a women, men can be blunt with each other. Women are to concerned about what other people think about them.

[Breanna_nonbinary]

No offense but most women do that.

[Kas19]

Just say "I'm sorry to hear that." Every time.

[NightHawk99]

You can't, unfortunately. :(

[Anonymous]

Does she have a boyfriend?