Do you think my sister miss out by not using her full potential to the fullest?

[Anonymous]

She's now 28 years old (older than me by 3 years) but she chose a normal life. If she wanted to she would have become a chess champion; after all she beat a great chess player when she was only 12. Though she never treated it as a competition, just playing for fun. She was always advanced for her age since her toddler years. Her current IQ reminds the same, 162.

She had several grades skipped, graduated from HS at just 13 years old, went to college and finished earlier with her degrees than others. She was a marine biologist (she's putting that on hold for now and dedicating on motherhood) but then focused on having a normal life, getting married and having kids. She placed her childbearing years as a priority.

She got engaged at age 23, married the following year and became a mother at age 25. Then got pregant last year. When me and others questioned her on why she's not using her full potential, she said she already use enough during the early years and said there is no point anymore and she doesn't want fame and hates publicity. Wow. She could've earned more money.

Do you think she still miss out?

Updates

1 y

Instead of using more potential, she gets pregnant again last year. Now she's a mother of 3 kids; a girl on the first pregnancy and twin boys on the 2nd pregnancy.

[SteveSmith1985]

Is she happy? That's really all that matters. If she's doing what she wants to be doing then "her potential" is simply what you and others want/hope for her. Ultimately, I would imagine you hope she "uses her full potential" because you want your sister to be happy.

If SHE doesn't feel like she's "wasted potential" then that's really all that matters. I think if you take a step back you'll realize that 🙂

[Asker]

Yes she's a happy wife and mother of 3 kids (a girl on the 1st pregnancy and 2 twin boys on the 2nd). It's just that it would've been cool if she had progress on her researches, compete in chess tournaments and gain fame, use all of that brain she has and potential for so much more. She beat Albert Einstein by 2 points and she chose an average married life.

[SteveSmith1985]

You're sister is no doubt impressive. But, It still sounds like those dreams of progressing on her research, and continuing to gain fame through competative chess are YOUR dreams FOR HER (rather than her own dreams).

Now, it's quite likely that at an earlier point, she DID also share in the same "dreams of her future." But, at some point, for some reason (s), your sister re-evaluated what she wanted her future to look like. That's fair. It's something most of us do at some point in our journey through life.

Again, I want to bring you back to your underlying reasons for wishing she had continued with her research, and chess, and otherwise "using her full potential". Isn't it because this vision for your sister, is one in which she is happy and fulfilled? At the end of the day, I doubt you want her to continue these persuits so you can brag about your accomplished sister. It's because you see her HAPPY in the life you envision for her.

She has decided that FOR HER, happiness does not involve research and competitive chess. She may have a different vision of "the good life" than she did at an earlier stage in life. But it sounds like she is living out the type of life she wants for herself. She is happy. You need to let-go of the old dreams. They're just not the route to happiness for her. 🙂

[RasmusAiken]

She chose best. Children are her treasure. In truth, life offers no greater gifts than family.

Don't believe the lies that career is where you'll find satisfaction.

[Asker]

yeah she doesn't care about competition nor fame. She always hated publicity. She loves her job as a stay at home wife /mother. I kind of missed her intellectual conversations (for instance when she was 10, she could sophisticated adult topics... wow) and when she would use her brains back in the younger years. Oh well.

[Dinklex3]

She's happy and did what she wanted to do.

She's living life on her own priorities and not to other's insignificant expectations on what they think she should do with her life.

Live life for yourself, not other's. As long as She's happy people have no say.

[LazerBean]

Sounds like she has a great life. Somehow I doubt she's lost anything because of not playing chess.

[Asker]

But can't you imagine if she had continue working on her researches, compete in chess tournaments, maybe invent new things (she can if she wanted to) and do so much more with her brain, she would get fame and likely earn more money. I missed her younger version when she was that young 10 year-old girl or teen that would have intellectual conversations with adults in the family, about sophisticated topics.

[Asker]

Think about it... if you had that potential yourself and your IQ was 2 points higher than Albert Einstein wouldn't you use all that potential for fame?

[LazerBean]

No, I wouldn't. In fact, my life is exactly how I want it. Having a good husband is priceless.

[joeldalton]

Being a mother is the most important job a woman could have.

[Sandeeppingping]

Your sister is Albert Einstein?

[Asker]

She beat him by 2 points. She never wanted publicity nor this getting spread. She always wanted to be treated like a normal person. I'm getting to think the genius women like her are hidden. They generally don't like competiting nor fame.