Something is wrong with our friendship and I dont know what?

[Anonymous]

I'm friends with this guy for 8 years. We were close. We're both married. His wife is acting normal to me and he is acting normal to my husband. Although he started talking against my husband again. I told him before not to do that and he stopped and now doing it again. Now all of a sudden he doesn't answer my messages every time. He doesn't call, just answers my calls. When I ask what is happening, he says life is happening, he is busy all the time, I'm on a test, and need to be patient otherwise everything we have will be worthless.

The other day he sent me two messages, two minutes apart, that I didn't see until the next day. He deleted both of them. When I asked why he deleted them, he texted that I wasn't online since yesterday evening and that I have my phone always around me and how come I didn't see messages for 12 hours. I finally persuaded him to tell me what he sent. He sent a photo of his child's injured face. He fell off the bike.

He is a car mechanic and takes care of my car. I came that he checks my car because I was going on a long trip. He saw that I passed my oil change period but didn't do it. He sounded very mean telling me about that, as he was attacking me. When I asked if he was going to yell at me now, he said he is not yelling. I turned around so he doesn't see he hurt my feelings and then he started joking again.

There are more situations like this.
At times he is very attentive and then again he acts so distant and sometimes being really mean. I don't know what to do. If I joke the way we always joked before (we flirted and bantered a lot), he doesn't answer. If I talk seriously he starts teasing me as he always did.

[Anonymous]

Please don’t tell me you have romantic feelings for this friend, because in all honesty what you wrote sounds like a straight up situationship. Even if that’s not your intention, it sounds like you’re a woman who’s interested in a man but he’s playing games.
If I were you, I wouldn’t be putting so much effort into maintain a relationship with any man outside of my husband. He should be your best friend. So I don't know what’s going on with that guy, but if I were you I’d be done trying to keep it afloat on your own. If he wants to reach out to you and come correctly then cool! Let it be on his terms next though, because at this point in time it looks like you’re chasing him.

[Opinion Owner]

The fact you never responded says I’m probably right, and if that’s the case then I hope you reconsider your actions, as I’m sure you wouldn’t want this done to you if the shoe were on the other foot.

[Asker]

I didn't answer because I am thinking about everything that's been going on. And I don't know what to think. You are probably right and I just never thought about it that way. I already tried to end it because I was sick of feeling that I'm forcing something the other side doesn't want, and then he does something to keep me around. Nothing ever happened between us. We never touch in any way. The only time I touched him is if we shake hands. The only thing we did is talking. We talked and texted every day and I miss that. He was like my best girl friend. I could talk with him about anything. And now he acts distant. But you're right. I should stop contacting him at all. If he wants to stay friends he should reach me this time, again. Since he was the one who initiated this friendship at first

[Opinion Owner]

It’s good that you haven’t had physical contact, but even just the flirting, once things venture into that category it’s no longer simply friendship, it’s no longer innocent. So talking every day knowing how the nature of your connection has shifted is just inappropriate. You should be married to your best friend, and able to communicate what areas he lacks in so you aren’t looking for it elsewhere. You don’t need to be this close with another man, hun.

[Opinion Owner]

**territory not category lol

[In_Trance]

guys and girls can't be friends