30 year old male looking 20 years old. Getting tiring?

[Anonymous]

I don’t really know how to handle this anymore. This issue has warn me down over the last 10 years. The constant feeling of embarrassment and anxiety that comes through any sort of social outing.

I am almost a 30 year old male and despite working out all the time and taking care of myself.. my appearance is maybe between 20-23 years old.

I have some facial hair but not a lot.. it’s not uncommon to see a high schooler with more facial hair than myself. I am only 5ft8 as well

Just today at work one of my female coworkers who is early 50s talked behind my back joking if I would be selling chocolates door to door for school

This is what I get the pleasure of dealing with.. even when I’m not part of the conversation I get to overhear jokes at my expense and completely make me feel embarrassed and crappy for days until I somewhat forget about it.

I feel like this is so uncommon too which is what makes it worse. People who say you can’t be called fat for example … that’s not as bad because number 1 you can change it.. and number 2 there’s millions of people who are fat. But being 30 years old , male and look 20 years old … I’m a rare exception which makes it so damn bad

[4ngelic]

if you want to look older i think if you just try to dress more mature that should do it

or else i mean i think its a good thing to look a younger like that at your age, shows your aging very well, and will continue to age like fine wine, so you should try to learn to love that. its a big advantage

[Asker]

Yeah how I dress definitely helps.. if I really dress up I can look I guess mid twenties.. or if I style wrong it could look like a kid playing dress up lol.

I guess it should be seen as an advantage. But as a guy we’re expected to be manly and intimidating. Instead for me despite being fit and having a good body.. my soft facial features plus only being 5ft8 leaves me looking boyish and young

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Baby face isn't that bad, but if you're really that worried about it I'm sure you can take up some cosmetics, start contouring your face to look more adult and masculine if that's what you want.

[boggboss]

Think u need some therapy mate as your mental sounds in the shattered how u getting sad because people think u look young

[Asker]

You’re not wrong.. I do feel shattered. Girls my age tend to like me too saying I’m cute and try and get me on dates (I’m already taken though so turn them down)

But despite success with girls.. getting picked on my older coworkers and even so much as me going out with friends and me being the only one carded is enough to make me want to die at this point

[boggboss]

But why like how did this become such a massive issue its bot a joke when most would prefer to look younger so how or why did it become your kriptonite but yeah u sound like u need therapy for real mate that or to grow a harder shell can't be letting silly words fuck with your mental thats crazy man

[Asker]

We’ll it’s improved but especially from 20-27 years old I would have the worst situations come up..

Put with friends and everyone gets drinks and me only would get carded.. entire group of friends would laugh including my own fiancé.. I pretend it didn’t bother me

Or having constant 18-19 years olds hit on my randomly in public and my friends joking me that I’m a bit hit with kids

Or answering the door for a door to door salesman at the house that I own and having them ask if my parents are home.

Would these situations bother you? Or do you say you would be fine with this “issue” and could laugh it off if we traded shoes?

[boggboss]

Mate I'm fat and black on the Internet every other week I'm told this by someone trying to insult me lile I don't have a mirror the situations your talking about sound funny not harmful again that's why I'm saying try therapy because I'm not sure why they have such a effect on you but clearly it does so u should try to work out why and no if I was in your situation none of the above would bother me

[Asker]

Thanks for your time and help brother I think I will get some therapy to find out what the underlying issue is. As for you I’m sorry you hear that stuff.. I looked at your profile pic and saw your profile says 29 years old..

My first reaction was that I was jealous. You got good facial hair and look like a proper man should look like at that age. Nothing bad to say about you I literally was jealous.

Thanks for the advice my friend

[boggboss]

I'm 5"8 and look like I could be a fucking caveman most days that pics on holiday with my partner so I look better then normal and it honestly don't phase me when people make them comments me and my brother where always insulting eachother growing up and they aimed to hurt so that's stuff is nothing but yeah happy to hear you will get help nobody should be made to feel shit over stuff like that man good luck and hop it works out for u

[CrimsonAngel09]

Do better hermano.