Are there any reasons why some users say you should start off with friends if you are attracted to someone?

[Usersarepoo]

It might work out for some people to become friends and then become partners but it is not always going to work for other people. For my own experience i had bad experience with some friends with some women to use my trust to temp the guys to cheat on me while i was in a relationship at the time. This is happened a few times throughout college and I do not trust one girl and they tried to force me to get friendship and said no and walk away each time. They one girl did get mad when I did reject friendship with her. My last relationship turned out to be toxic and I did start blaming my trust issue with women that I told them before i trust issue with some women. I'm single moment. My college that I went to was a special vocational college that what happens having toxic friends or turning out to be fake friends. Are there any reasons why some users say you should start off with friends if you are attracted to someone?

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

The main thing I tend to suggest is not so much to become friends first with someone you're attracted to someone but to find people you're attracted to among your friends and community.

This way you aren't dating complete strangers. You instead date among good people you've known for a good time with mutual friends to vouch on each other's behalf.

That was the case with my wife and me. We found each other through our friend group and met at a picnic (she was a friend of a friend, and I was a friend of a friend). Then we became friends for almost a year, hanging out together with our other friends, and then started dating.

There was a huge benefit there over dating someone we barely know in that even by the time we went our first date, we already knew we got along so well, I knew she was a very good and decent woman (through both all the time I got to know her and our mutual friends who vouched for what a great woman she is), I knew she was so mature even in the hardest times (since I saw her go through some very difficult situations when we were just friends), etc.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

[*] The main thing I tend to suggest is not so much to become friends first with someone you're attracted to [but instead] to find people you're attracted to among your friends and community.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Another is to make sure those friends are very good people: mature and good-natured people who take their relationships very seriously.

[Usersarepoo]

@GuyAnswersGirls123 i'm not be attracted to any of my friends and some of my friends are already taken. i also ask if they knew any single guys and said no.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

That's where I think it can help to expand the friend group, network a lot, meet brand new people all the time. I see it like searching for our true community. When we find our true community, we tend to find great potential love interests everywhere. Also there's no rush to jump into dates. We just hang out with our friends for a good while and let things happen more naturally.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I'm not sure if I'm one of the users you were talking about but my main thinking nowadays is that we have a tendency when we're young to seek love first and community second. That was my mistake trying to find dates and love first, dating lots of women I barely knew in my early 20s. I also didn't make very good friends at the time: just friends who loved to party together on weekends but not deep friends who shared the same values as me.

When I started to reverse that, everything changed for the better. I found the deepest lifelong friends, we went on adventures together (traveling overseas, hiking, camping, picnics, barbecues, home parties, etc), and I wasn't even lonely at all even when I wasn't dating a woman since I was having such a great time with this community. Then I found my wife as a new member introduced to our group.

[BoopBoopBeep]

All of my longest term relationships were friends first.