"The one that got away," Guys...I need your thoughts-

Question

Do you ever realize, at any point, that you let the one girl who was perfect for you get away?

She didn't leave you or do anything remotely wrong except be there for you and accept you, then you cheated or lied and then you broke up with her, thinking you could do better). Do you ever come to the realization that you f***ed up and that the best girl you're ever gonna get YOU broke up with? Do you feel regret? Or do you never have that epiphany?

I'm not being bitter or scorned. I've just seen a lot of girls (my sisters, friends) get passed up when they didn't do anything irreparably wrong in the relationship. And it sucks, because they feel like they should've done something better or different. But it's the dude's fault 100%.

ArtistBboy · Accepted Answer

Words to live by: There is a life-lesson in every moment where you feel pain.

While it may be hard to live without that person they care about, knowing that they will never fully forget that "love" that they thought they had, it's highly plausible that they'll find someone better because now they have a bigger understanding of how to treat others.

Like an answerer said below: A true love will never intentionally make you feel pain, due to their actions.

Do I think most guys feel memories about their ex and want them back? Yeah, I watched some of the "big dog alphas" which I used to look up, come to me crying. I've had players telling me that they "just want a real girlfriend" and how they want their "ex back".. etc.. We're all human. Some hide from their traumas (like I did) or some wear those traumas in a optimistic light (like I am working on doing for the future).

These girls may have an emotional wound, over time it will scar, and eventually that scar will fade. It may never completely disappear but it will definately be less significant.

~ ArtistBBoy

ebrady5 · Accepted Answer

Ok sweetheart,

It sucks when someone screws you over, especially when you put a lot of time and effort into them. He may realize that he screwed up one day, perhaps he wont. It seems like you(maybe your sister too) are putting a lot of energy into him, I mean, he's gone, good riddance right? Forget about this guy and if he's feeling like he screwed up now. It really doesn't matter, but if it makes you feel better, go ahead and believe that he does regret it. I've been in similar situations where someone took off, hurting me. Believe me, I spent WAY more time trying to analyze thier actions than it was worth, and in the end, you will never find the actual answer to what you are asking, because the only person who can answer it is the guy who did the hurting. So what did I do? Well, I like to believe that she regrets it, even though I have no idea that she actually does or doesnt. Other than that, move on. I say, go for what you want in life, and if it doesn't want you back, then it doesn't deserve to have you.

alekat · Accepted Answer

i don't know if your exactly looking for a girls perspective on this issue but I have seen many a guy friends come to the realization down the track and get pretty upset about it. more so when they see the girl they had happy with another guy. I myself was dating a guy for 2 years engaged 3yrs after those. We were always happy and did stuff together then one day I found out he had cheated earlier on in the relationship but we continued pretty strong for 2 more years til one day he broke up with me randomly even though after everything I forgave him for and such he just felt bad and couldn't do it I guess...or I don't know really. we have been broken up for over a year now and just yesterday he came to me telling me how he still loves me and never stopped but knew it was to late...to eb truthful I was shocked and didn't even know what to say

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

i think they do that because they wanna experiment and see what else they can find...may be someone better, they're not ready to be exclusive and be into long term relationships, so they like to move from girl to girl.

im the typical nice girl and this guy I liked did the same to me...he just left me hanging I don't know why. I was always supportive and sweet, his bud called me wife material too...which is what I thought guys always love? but I was wrong...he wanted to be single and just date other girls, he was partying clubbing type with loads of female friends and you know what that's fine with me, because one day when he does grow out of it and looks back and may be wants me back, I won't be there.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

This happen to me many many years ago. I was that girl. By chance and the internet this man now has come back into my life. I don't mind being his friend but want nothing more, heck I don't even care if he is my friend or not. I'm so glad that it worked out the way it did so many years ago. I was a good girlfriend and did nothing wrong but he lied and cheated until he just left me.

The funny thing is that he is trying to get me now and I don't want him. ha ha Karma is really a bitch!

ebrady5 · Answer

I can't say I've ever left a girl and regretted it later, but I have been in the situation of the person who feels they did everything right and it died anyway. Well what I have learned from experience, anytime someone says it was all the other person's fault why the relationship failed, red flags are already going up in my mind. It takes two people to make it work, so thinking that you did everything right and its all the guys fault for leaving is disingenuous. He wouldn't have left or cheated if he was getting what he needed and she was doing absolutely everything right, right? I'm not implying it was all the girls fault either, but both people contributed to the failure of the relationship. These guys who left obviously didn't get what they were looking for or needed from the relationship, and it probably was because the guys themselves didn't know what they wanted/needed themselves. The fact is, the girls(and I) could have done something better, but they had no way of knowing what that was to do, in that sense it wasn't their fault they didn't know. But at any rate, they still contributed to the failure, whether it was conscious or not.

THEreborn · Answer

im in the same situation currently, except my girlfriend cheated on me I took her back, helped her through a lot of stuff, had unconditional love for her, and now she walks all over me I'm fed up, she is going to regret it down the line and probably kill herself.  she has a lot of guy friends and swears she isn't cheating, (we live together). well she thinks she slick always hiding her panties for some strange reason.. well today I bought a black light.  we havnt had sex in a week, so while she was in the shower I grabbed her panties and uh oh, they were friggin glowin like a Christmas tree.  she's going out tonite, and when she comes home she's gonna find a empty apartment  because I'm done with the lies...

bubbleboy · Answer

Forgive my late answer and though I've never been in that situation, I believe it happens all the time and the party that leaves usually realizes later on down the road (however long that may be varies) that he/she missed out something really good.

But think of it this way--while you (just for the sake of a subject, not saying you in particular) may have been "the one" for him, he wasn't for you. I'm not sure if I'm making any sense lol, but that one guy or girl everyone hopes for won't treat them like utter sh*t.

isaac_e · Answer

Well, I just ended a 6 month relationship with this really sweet girl, I did it because I didn't feel the same as she did for me anymore, I tried to keep up for a while but I realized she wasn't really the girl for me, and that I would be lying to her if I kept things going and I think that would be just mean. She has truly been the best girl ever, she's just not the right type for me. And yes, I thought WE could do better with other people.

Maybe few of the girls you're talking about got passed up for a similar reason, I mean, it's not the guy's fault if some people just don't belong together, and they should see the bright side of it.

WeaponZero · Answer

I can honestly say this has ever happened to me.  Except for my very first girlfriend who I dated on and off for a year or so when I was a teenager, all the relationships I've been in ended because the girl screwed me over. They either cheated or were playing head games, etc. I often wonder though if they've ever thought that way about me. I know of one ex named Heather who I still talk to on occasion. Ever since she screwed me over she's had a long string of bad relationships, and that pattern's been going to this day. I often wonder if she regrets doing what she did to me in hindsight.

thatoneguy5001 · Answer

I made the mistake of cheating once. I was drunk and angry with her, and I did a stupid thing. There isn't a day that goes by I don't regret it, because that really was the first woman I ever fell in love with, but life doesn't have a rewind button. You have to press on and at least pretend that life is worth living, even if you just wish you could die and evaporate into nothing because of how scummy and low you feel. You have to just keep pushing on and hope that someday you can do something that will make it better.

I offer a counterquestion: Is there ever a point where you've felt enough guilt and self loathing to make it better?

Reiki_Z · Answer

well seeing how this never happened to me I couldn't say id regret it

but something close where I met a girl I thought was perfect for me and then it was cut short by me moving and her younger-ness I do regret not noticing her before

but it was only cause I lacked confidence in what I could have

life goes on and you win some you lose some but you live on and are always experiencing new things

but hhmm about the bottom part

the men could have just been scared of being caught in a life long relationship at such a young age

men and people for that matter don't wanna feel like they missed out or cheat on someone to enjoy the finer things in life so they just stay away from the perfect girls cause there really wouldn't be any reason to break it off later in life unless they make it up them selfs

haha that's just my thoughts though

Anonymous · Answer

girls do it and guys do it. I know of a girl who left a guy after a 6 year relationship and she calls him every day and still wants him as her best friend although she is with someone new.

and my friend tina, she was with her guy for 6 or 7 years and then he cheated on her and wanted to try other women. He now regrets not being with her and now he's single and her "best friend" and she says she still loves him like a brother although she is engaged to a new person. He also impregnanted two other women and has 2 kids from 2 different women... and she loves him but she won't be with him. he regrets it, but it's too late now.

jester7979 · Answer

This story reminds me of "guys who leave girls before they leave them"... my last girlfriend left me because she just didn't see a future with me, and left before she fell in love. So I think guys who don't want a relationship might be calling it quits before things get too attached.

Littletad · Answer

I got cheated on. And sometimes... I do think it was my fault. But I live and learn. It's more painful and wasteful to dwell on your past. It does nothing productive for the future. The best you can do, is learn from your experience. When someone is left, you start to hope that the person who was once in your life is miserable and knows he or she was an idiot for breaking up with you or cheating on you. It's just... not really closure at all.

38rakia38 · Answer

Let me flip this question around.

Can a girl feel guilt for doing the same scenario to a guy?

The answer is yes.

Just because we have different parts and think differently, at our core we're almost the same. Guys may not show emotions (girls more so) but they have them.

At the end of the day, boys and girls are a similar breed with different behavioral and physical attributes.

superdudeman · Answer

Stupid people don't realize their stupid, because they are stupid.

BerryCherry · Answer

It is the man's loss, he is one who will have to settle for a woman who will never compare to the great girl he cheated on & lost.

Anonymous · Answer

this is the best question ever. I felt the same. I liked this guy a lot and he liked me too at first, we were good friends, and he said I was cute and such a sweet, nice girl, but as time went on he pushed me away and didn't want to be official, even though he knew he had deep feelings for me. I don't know why.

lavender · Answer

Good question, Enchanted.

I've seen more times where a relationship is going along smoothly and then suddenly one person starts behaving so badly that it forces the other to break up.

For your sister, it's a blessing that he broke up with her.

UnhandledException · Answer

Sorry, but I am going to be very honest with you. The answer is: No. There is no such thing as "the one" for guys. There's only "this one will work".

neberle · Answer

Guy's do regret decisions sometimes same as girls but why does it matter, what does it change? Lucky for me I haven't ever regretted breaking up with someone.

ladsin · Answer

hmm, same question is applicable to girls but, I've never had that happen, probably  because I've never really broken up with a girl its either her idea or things just fall apart

snackeyg · Answer

Luckily I've never had that happen to me. In a way to some people that could also be considered unlucky because I've never had a chance with a girl before. It's nice to not have hurt any though. :)

MikeVick4MVP · Answer

hahaha hell no... there's always another girl exactly the same

"The one that got away," Guys...I need your thoughts-

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