She rejected me but keeps contacting me?

[Phillyguy47]

I was talking to a girl for a while and I thought she liked me. We hung out and everything but when I asked her out to an official date she rejected me. She also keeps mentioning this mysterious guy on Facebook without mentioning names that she has a crush on that doesn't have a clue that she does. I decided that I will move on and forget about her. It is becoming hard because she continues to contact me. Examples, commenting on many of my Facebook statuses and texting me mostly everyday about any random thing just to talk to me and texting me just to say goodnight sometimes. Why does she do this? Why do you think she wants to keep me around and not lose contact despite rejecting me and seeing clues about this crush that she has on someone?

Updates

+1 y

By the way, she is 31 and I'm 24 if that is important.

[Anonymous]

I'm in the exact same boat.

Here's my 0.02...

That girl you're talking about (and the girl I'm in contact with) are keeping us around because we cater to their egos. We make them feel special, desirable and treat them with dignity and respect.

Last week the girl I'm in contact with called me every day, we hung out almost every day, she texted me goodnight messages and told me how crazy she is about me and threw in a few ":-*" smileys... but last night I wrote her a message on Facebook telling her to have a goodnight and sweet dreams and it's been almost 24 hours later without a reply.

Here's the cold hard truth. It's time for you and I to end the relationships with these girls -- WITHOUT hurting their feelings and without making it seem too obvious.

If she calls, you don\t have to answer. You don't owe her an explanation or an excuse. Just be friendly but distant. The more we do this, the quicker they'll be out of our systems and we'll move on to the next girl (and won't make the mistake of being overly friendly and nice from the start).

Don't tell yourself that playing hard to get will make her want you. It doesn't help and it will be an enormous waste of time.

This girl wants you as a friend, you want her as a girlfriend. You may not get to be with her but at the same time you have the right to break away from her, and if she's talking about other guys and whatnot, it's probably in your best interest because the last thing you want to be is her personal shrink or matchmaker.

End the friendship but be a gentleman. That's what I'm doing.

[Phillyguy47]

You're right man. With the next girl I won't be so overly friendly. I only did it because it seemed to have been working. Now I know that it was just that she liked being treated that way because it boosted her ego. I'm gonna talk with other girls and take a different approach this time. Less of the overly nice guy so I won't be pushed around and played with anymore.

[max4u]

yup.. rightly said..

[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

Bravo, you guys are totally f***ing getting it.

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[GuyAdviceFromGuy]

Bro, my article explains it all

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[Anonymous]

The other dude is right on! A lot of girls like to keep a bunch of doting admirers around them even if they have no interest in them because it makes them feel good about themselves and they can be used to keep away other undesirable guys who pursue them. But they'll never get with you.

Look up "Ladder Theory" on the web. I think it'll explain what you're going through.

[Phillyguy47]

Thanks, I'll check it out.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she wants you to chase after her, she liked the attention, but she didn't like you

[Opinion Owner]

your update: you're just a toy to her. she's not taking you seriously and never will

[buttercup5]

The real question is why are you sticking around?

[Phillyguy47]

If you read the question correctly, she is the one contacting me. I just reply because I don't like ignoring people in general.

[buttercup5]

But you're OK with someone possibly stringing you along? You know that saying "it's all relative?"

[Phillyguy47]

No, I'm not OK with it. I just needed help in understanding the situation and how to handle it.