Why does she always need a THANK YOU when she does something nice?

Question

My SO goes nuts if I don't immediately say "Thank You" when she does something nice for me, like doing the laundry. She also complains if I don't immediately compliment her on her cooking.

Sometimes, if I say "Thank You" a few minutes later, that still upsets her. And if I don't say something more than "This is good" after the first bite (I often wait until I've had a few bites), she also gets upset.

I love my SO but this drives me nuts.

I've known other women who are kinda like this, but most just take it in stride.

Does anyone else know a woman who gets upset like this?

SaoirseS · Accepted Answer

She was probably raised like me, being constantly reminded to say please and thank you. If my mom dropped me off at a kid's birthday party or anywhere else for that matter, her parting words were "don't forget to say please and thank you." Even when I was 22 and she dropped me off somewhere, she was still reminding me "don't forget to say please and thank you" when it would have probably been more appropriate to say "Remember no sex, no drugs, no alcohol." And your SO probably expects everyone else was raised the same way, with please and thank you expected in return. I just take it in stride. It's one thing to expect acknowledgment, but it's another to expect it RIGHT NOW. My husband is a good grill cook and loves to grill meat. He does a fantastic job of it too. I'll usually compliment him on the taste (it's a genuine compliment, not forced) at the beginning, and thank him for the delicious meal when I'm finished. I don't know the solution to your dilemma other than to say make the effort if it keeps peace in the house :-)

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

Maybe she was triggered by something she saw or experienced in her earlier years. Like I can’t tolerate any level of rudeness cause I grew up with two extremely rude parents who would constantly yell at me.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I don't know. I say thank you to people who do things for me. I even thank the cashier when they finish ringing me up.

It's a painless way to make an SO feel appreciated and not taken for granted.
In a way, it's good that your SO communicates her feelings rather than building up resentment. Validating her seems like a pretty easy thing to learn. 😉 Happy mama, happy life. 😆

I'll admit that I don't thank my wife for every little thing she does around the house, but I try to make a point of noticing and thanking her whenever possible, especially for bigger things like folding the laundry, vacuuming and especially cooking meals.
We each have chores or share chores. She thanks me for things, as well.

boobliker · Accepted Answer

some people just do my mum was one who would ask if you did not but she never thanked us boys or said she was sorry

KarinMcDonald · Answer

Maybe she's just insecure and needs emotional reinforcement.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

We are all crazy in our own ways. Is this tolerable?

DizzyDesii · Answer

Damn and i thought i was big on words of affirmation. It must be a major thing for her. I personally dont care about compliments or the please/thank yous since I hardly say them myself 🤣

Sparkie460 · Answer

Does she say thank you immediately when you do something for her? Does she give you any compliments? My wife expects a thank you but I usually tell her after I'm done with my meal or when we're ready to go to sleep

WhitneySnow · Answer

Some people of all genders really need gratitude and compliments for their efforts

exitseven · Answer

How about sex, ? Do you say thank you after a proper blow job?

msc545 · Answer

She resents doing anything for you, and feels that gratitude makes up for it a little.

MissBoogus · Answer

My mom is kinda like that.

Why does she always need a THANK YOU when she does something nice?

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