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Trending & News Why are guys so emotionally unavailable? (Page 4)
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What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
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Us guys tend to not be as emotional as girls, it's in our biology (the phrases emotions get you killed... we need to be able to protect ourselves from dangers back from when the cloest thing to humans were apes), that said a lot of guys i know (inc myself) are very emotional
Because as a man, people aren't moved by your display of emotions unless its out of anger. At the same time, it takes a certain amount of skill and effort to identify and sort out the reasons behind what you're feeling.
True.
We might be if the girls stopped believing they are superior to men. Stop the sexual war, we need you BUT you need us so no more sexual wars, lets kiss, make up and go where the world is good (bed).
Lol if you say so
Guys are taught not to show their feelings. Whether the girl wants to admit it ot not, a guy showing is emotions often will appear weaker compared to other guys because he's letting it get to him enough that it's visible.
When I say show emotion I don't mean to burst out crying in front of a room full of people. I mean being able to actually tell me if something bothers him without being too prideful. Or at least showing that he cares when I express myself to him.
My point stands. Emotions = showing vulnerabilities, vulnerabilities indicate a weak spot, weakness is bad.
Ok well you're entitled to your opinion. Thanks for your input.
That's not true for a real man they will show you no matter what it may take awhile to open themselves up to you but when they do an if they unintentionally hurt you and thier honest give him another chance even if you have been hurt, lied to or cheated on. Remember he is not the same as your previous
He didn't unintentionally hurt me. Calling someone a nosy bitch is pretty intentional.
if a guy care less for a girl they like or even they dont know this girl well.. THATS not a guy sorry to say that but that would be an ass.. because guys are humans and we do have feeling and emotions. we act tough we act strong but we still humans
Men are taught to be tough. So opening up is difficult. It is not something men are comfortable with. It makes them feel vulnerable. It simply takes time.
Understood. As long as you're willing to try then I'm fine with that.
Read my response to a question like yours, take a look through the comments too. It's the one that starts with the line "Opening up = girl loses attraction/respect":
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1256105-are-guys-afraid-to-admit-their-feelings-for-women
i don;t know about this but my guyfriends cry over my shoulders like babies when you take their candy they cry cry and cry and i comfort them whenever they have a problem we always chat about our feelings and they never have a problem expressing their feelings and it is just so cute
Lol my guy friends don't. They'll come to me to complain about a girl or to tell me about a hookup but it's very rare that they come to me with serious stuff. Once in a blue moon.
lol nah my guys are just so cute no matter how big or strong they are just like children but i won't lie i am worse i am always complaining and crying on their shoulders too
Lol I have one guy friend that I've seen cry real tears. The others have been upset and they've come to me, but it was just to get away from our other guy friends while they were "emotional" lol. And their idea of being emotional was sitting in my room or car in silence.
We are socialized to be that way... otherwise being very emotionally driven is seen as "girly".
Guys like me do not know how to care. I get mad when a girl comes crying to me and I think it's because I don't know how to handle it
Why get mad? Why not just say "hey I don't really know how to react when you're upset" instead of being like that and coming off as a jerk.
I would like to understand why "men" have to be angry and stamp around... when some of the time we just want an answer or not even that. Most of the time we just want someone to hug and hold us to make us feel safe. Someone who wants to make us feel better not worse than we already feel.
I agree. Guys can get really pissy when a girl is upset and I think that's because they don't know how to handle it. They overthink what we want and what to do. That or they're super nonchalant which bugs the hell outta me.
Well first off, you never know how a girl will respond. I feel like saying nothing is always best if anything
I don't think any guy will tell a girl "hey, I don't like when you cry". I mean I hope I'm not sounding selfish
You'd be surprised when we're by ourselves were very emotional but when we're in the presence of others it's hard to show how we really cause we're trained not to really be emotional
Lol yea that's the general consensus that I'm getting from guys. I get that that's how they're brought up but when do you break the normmmm?
It's not that we don't care how a girl feels, we just don't let iur emotions run U. S. or control us. We're not emotional creatures by nature.
There's a difference between letting your emotions control you and just not having any to begin with.
Oh we have feelings. We're just not in touch with our emotions. I like the fact I'm not. I don't like to cry and can't remember the last time I did. I just keep cruising along :)
Like if my girl forgot our anniversary or my birthday, I wouldn't cry about it. I'd be a little upset but I wouldn't cry
Lol I'm not saying you have to burst into tears everytime we talk but on occasion I'd like to have a heart to heart without feefeeling like I'm prying information out of you or feeling like you're not even there.
And I wouldn't cry over a missed birthday or anniversary. I'd be pissed.
Why do you want a heart to heart with him? We keep our emotions in check for a reason
And that reason being?
Oh and if I'm in a relationship with someone I think it's healthy to sit down once in awhile and just clear the air. Again i'm not saying cry your eyes out. I just mean talking. Nowadays eveeven that is too much to ask for.
I don't mind conversations. But when something is bothering me, and I clearly do not want to talk about it, leave it be. There's just some things I don't want to discuss. Or I will when I'm ready to.
And I get that! I'm the same way. If you tell me you don't wanna talk about it then I'm not gonna force you. I don't like when people do it to me. But if that's constantly your go-to answer/excuse then I'm sorry but I have a problem with that.
But what if it's something so bad or hurtful or traumatizing that he just doesn't wanna discuss it?
Listen, I'm big on respecting everyone's privacy. Like I said if you don't wanna talk about it right then and there then that's perfectly fine. But if I ask you about it later on down the line and you still don't want to talk about it, it kind of raises a red flag. And still I'll respect your privacy. Where it becomes an issue for me is when everytime I ask you about something you tell me you don't wanna talk about it. Then it's a problem. There can only be so much privacy in a relationship before things start getting janky.
Totally agree with you on that. Key part of a relationship is communication. But I don't feel the need to voice every thought in my head lol. Cuz in my head, there really isn't that much to begin with lol
Lol that's my point. I don't want much but I need to be able to communicate with you and if everything is a secret then it's a problem. I definitely get where you're coming from tho. Thanks for your input!
your welcome!
Are you my fiancé or something? She's aid these exact things to me lol
Lol nooo I'm not your fiancee. Great minds just think alike.
Oh sheesh! :p
Lol 😉
They were raised that way. The media makes it seem like guys have to be macho and strong and have no feelings at all to be a real man. A lot of people don't realize how big of an impact the media is on us when we're little, it changes us forever.
Media does have an impact but that can't always be our scapegoat. At some point we need to make the decisions to be ourselves, set our standards, and know that it's ok to go against the grain.
Its better that way. Often times when people wholely invests themselves then they get hurt because the person honestly just doesn't care that much. If she wants to know how I feel she is going to have to work for it.
Its like how at a party you talk to bunch of girls, but you never really invest yourself into one of them until they reciprocate. Sure be friendly, be out going but never be dependant on another's affection, cause who knows if its going to be there.
I agree that you shouldn't be dependent upon someone else's affection. I mean you shouldn't be dependent upon another person period. But being in a relationship with someone means you should at least feel comfortable opening up and expressing yourself to them.
They can express emotions although being with their partners brings out that quality. Being together helps complete all the missing traits among each other. So anything that is absent will be slowly and steadily gained by their partners... Without each other one can never be complete.
Man I could say the same things about girls at bars. Anyway.. the reason why guys do not express emotion is because we are taught that whomever lacks emotion has authority. Not authority in the sense of domination. It is the power to be rationale in emotionally tense situations. So if you were ever to have shitty periods vs me. I think I would probably be calm as ever. Now in regards to feelings, then some guys aren't really emotionally intelligent. It really depends on the guy
Because we all tried that "get emotionally involved" thing with the first girl we were smitten for, got royally screwed in the head, and learned not to put ourselves out there for that, lmao.
This exactly! I felt like I should hold back a bit, but I still opened up. I even felt like she accepted me for a while but I got too invested and got absolutely crushed. Know them feels bro.
Maybe we hide our feelings because we are even more fragile that girls if we let ourselves go. Girls have an easier time when it comes to dating so perhaps one reason we have to steel ourselves extra hard is to cope with a higher degree if rejection.
Look past the dating phase and into the relationship phase because that's what I'm really talking about. Once you're in a relationship it should be easier to communicate your feelings. But there are still guys that get into relationships and don't wanna even try.
I do have a lot of them. But i show it to those whom I really love (either as friend or more). If i see that he or she is a fool, then i don't waste my energy.
That's all I'm trying to say. If we are friends or in a relationship you should be able to express your feelings to me.
So if you are in a relationship then he should express his emotions to you. If not, then something is wrong with your relationship.
Culture, talking about your feelings makes you seem like a weak male. Guys want to look strong and manly. Appearances are important to them.
But you're talking about them with a girl. It's not like you need to sit around your friends and tell them about your feelings. But at least express them to the girl.