Recently, more and more people have been calling me "intimidating", and my 5'2 1/2 ass is confused. I definitely seem to give off the "too-cool-4-u" impression according to people I've asked, but intimidating? That's just bizarre to me. Sure, I have a generally edgy sense of style (black, edgy band t-shirts + ripped jeans + flame sk8-hi vans and the occasional camo trench coat is my signature look), and I do have my headphones in a lot, but I didn't think I was that unapproachable. Apparently I am. I carry myself in a confident way, always have winged eyeliner, and I generally seem cold (even though I try not to be.) When someone says "Hi!" to me while I'm walking, I generally don't respond because I don't know how to respond. I usually just give them this half grimace-smile (the kind you give strangers when they hold the door open for you). As a result, I guess I seem unfriendly? I also tend to blow off guys- if a guy I'm not interested in tries to flirt, I'm not gonna hurt them by giving them false hope. I tell them straight-up that I'm not interested. I also hang out in ~edgy~ places like a skate park and have friends who are nicotine and marijuana users (I'm not a nicotine user at all, no addictions for me amigos/amigas, I'm too broke for that) so that may be a factor. Do they mean that I'm intimidating in a bitchy way or a "she's too good for me" way? (Attached a photo because my face might be a factor in this. I'm the girl on the right. Yes, I know I look like a fetus, but when I'm 30 imma be lookin 20 and y'all will look 40.)
Read your own post - the answers to your questions are right there in your own words.
Most guys only approach girls who act in a HAPPY, FRIENDLY way to them. You basically ignore them, shut them out with headphones, grimace at them, and send every message EXCEPT "friendly". Thus, the majority of guys, even ones who are attracted to you, are likely to pass you by because WHY WOULD THEY WANT TO BE TREATED THAT WAY?
You can act however you like, but your actions have consequences, and you will suffer them, good or bad. If you want a different outcome, you need to adopt different behavior.
I get called intimidating a lot, for different reasons. Physical stuff like height and size is usually not something you can control. The things I notice is that I'm very analytical and straightforward so it catches people off guard. For you I would say it's your honesty and trouble smiling at random people. It's a small thing but just being able to do that should help. The "edgy" thing is pretty common and most people aren't intimidated by that, I guess people see your bluntness abd intensity as "bitchy" but you do what makes you happy :) that's what matters
It means people find you too good looking. Or you give off the vibe "I'm too cool for you so don't talk to me". Or you have a resting bitch face who seems unbothered and unimpressed with everyone around you. Therefore, people tend to avoid you coz you look like you gonna cut them if they try to say hi lol
... it's normal to be overcome will jealousy. What's NOT normal is letting jealousy fuel you to write paragraphs ridiculing the chick you wish you were but will never be. cdn3-www.gamerevolution.com/.../...vious-troll.jpg
It means that the guy doesn't have confidence in himself. But... 1) there's a fine line between having high self esteem and being a b****. 2) you are hot and you know it. There is nothing wrong with that 3) never apologize for your looks, Style or money. Some are gifts and some you work for. 4) never assume you will always look 10 years younger unless you take care of yourself. 5) tone down the attitude just one notch. When someone says hi to you say hi back. You want to show confidence not arrogance.
I used to have severe social anxiety, still do to an extend. But I have noticed just a smile and a "hey" go a long way with people. People told me later on that in high school people thought I didn't like them because I didn't say hi back or whatever, when it was for the same reason as you.
It's not intimidating like a physical threat more like you're tough to approach and that's usually because of either your looks (being very attractive) or your personality (Being extremely confident) or at least that's what the persons perception of you is
First, you're really pretty, so I get why guys say you're intimidating. A lot of guys (myself included) find it difficult to talk to pretty girls, and we get really nervous around them. This could be what people are saying. I don't think they mean intimidating as in scary, but rather they're nervous to talk to you. Hope that made sense lol
Intimidating is a funny word used by people who feel intimidated by women who they deem as too good for them.
You are not unapproachable, you get approached by guys and you blow them off, like if someone says "Hi" and you ignore them, you can't expect to have conversations with them now, can you?
It's really just a way of saying "the things I do to impress people doesn't work on you" so it's a compliment but one you should take and walk away with because the person who said it is probably lame and doesn't skate.
It means that whoever says that feels intimidated and it may not be necessary be you. It is due to their low self-esteem which can come from their lack of experience in life.
It's not intimidating like a physical threat more like you're tough to approach and that's usually because of either your looks (being very attractive) or your personality (Being extremely confident) or at least that's what the persons perception of you is
Well it's the same reason why guys aren't intimidated by one anothers attractiveness we just see guys I think it's the same for women, do you feel any anxiety when you talk to or walk up to a very attractive girl?
Maybe it's because of the fact that you are very gorgeous, and they are way to scared to approach you, because they think that you might reject them! <3
If someone says hi to you, just say hi back and smile. There's people who I have only ever talked to by saying hello in hallways and I think they're super friendly for the one reason
I’m going to try! I’m recovering from severe social anxiety (I could barely even speak in public while I was in middle school) so I’m not used to social situations. I probably should’ve included that lmao
I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe you can use this as a first step. Don't be afraid to ask a friend for help. Everyone has trouble sometimes with certain social situations, so don't feel abnormal. I really think this would help you, so good luck!
Honestly there is a difference between intimidating and just straight jealousy and I think nine times out of 10 the girls are more jealous then intimidated
I’m not very arrogant, I just have severe social issues. It’s hard for me to make new friends because I am currently recovering from severe social anxiety, so I get nervous when people approach and make a barrier. Do you have any advice for improving my attitude? I want/need to be approachable when I get a job.
Ah right, well that completely changes things. I've also had a similar problem to you in that I have social anxiety and I have been called arrogant and stuck up. I think it's really key to bear in mind that what we're going through on the inside - people can't see. And to them - we just look like everyone else (I wish I'd have realized this when I was your age). So when we're quiet or less talkative - they don't see the hurt and pain and loneliness - they see someone who has better places to be and more superior people to speak to. So in a sense, our pain is causing them pain. That's why I've realized it's so important to be friendly and nice and smiley and communicative (I used to think this indicated social weakness, but I now realize that it indicates social strength). When you get a job, don't be afraid to show humility and weakness. If you don't know - ask. Be engaging. Be humble. These things are really hard for people with SA but really crucial. Hope this helps.
It's more important to keep the communication flowing (even if you have to make yourself very vulnerable) than it is to put up this facade of "OKness" or "togetherness" that a lot of people with SA do. People appreciate and respect honesty and realness much more so than "the perfect person". I got myself into trouble in jobs when I was younger because I was too scared to ask questions thinking it made me look weak/incompetent, so then I'd make mistakes and then REALLY look weak/incompetent. Humility and vulnerability are not weaknesses, which is something that people with SA find really hard to grasp (I think a lot of us have been treated poorly in the past from showing humility/vulnerability and it's something you have to train yourself out of).
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