What do you think about his behavior?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend withholds saying I love you when he is mad at me, holds grudges for unreasonable lengths of time even if he is the one at fault he will blame me and then ignore me so he has been very dry with me. He texted me dryly saying "good morning" then I did not hear from him for hours (when he typically will text me all day even while he is working) so I texted him saying "you didn't even ask how my day is going all you said is good morning" and then I did not hear from him until late in the evening so I called him, and asked why he did not call or text me. At first, he said "I'm working" then he followed up with "I saw what you texted me and it pissed me off so I decided to not talk to you" and I asked him what exactly it was because while my text could be passive aggressive, I honestly was just trying to address being treated with contempt and was not aware I had texted him something that would cause him to delve the silent treatment out to me and he got a rude tone in his voice and said "you know what you said, stop playing games" this angered me so I said "no, you're playing fucking games by not communicating with me and telling me what I said that was so wrong" and he promptly hung up and blocked me on everything then later (like ten hours later) called me to say it was because I disrespected him by cussing at him, well, didn't he disrespect me by accusing me of playing games? Isn't what HE did considered playing games (the hanging up and blocking me, saying I'm playing games rather than just communicate he insisted that I must know what I did wrong) then he later told me that I was not being direct and that is why my text angered him. How much more direct could it get? Am I missing something? I literally told him hey you didn't text me or anything or ask how my day is going like I don't know how much more direct I could be...

[Oliverlogan263]

Dang sis, that sounds like a super toxic situation. A few red flags I'm seeing:

- Withholding "I love you" is manipulative as hell. Especially during fights HE started.

- Holding grudges for too long and never taking blame ain't cool either.

- Giving you the dry treatment all day then getting pissed at you for calling it out? Nah uh.

- Blocking and ignoring you for hours is so immature. Major overreaction on his part.

- Accusing you of "playing games" is gaslighting and projecting cause HE'S the one playing them.

You did nothing wrong by asking why he wasn't talking to you like normal! Dude sounds insecure and like he loses his temper easily.

I'd say really think if you wanna deal with this drama all the time, sis. You deserve someone who communicates calmly even during fights. This clown ain't it, forreal. You can do better!

[Asker]

thank you for your thorough and intelligent response <3 ! it got me thinking I need to pack my bags and ditch the loser.

[Asker]

oh also he calls me toxic and then insists that he is the one giving me a chance etc lmao.

[Oliverlogan263]

You're so welcome sis! I'm really glad I could help provide some perspective and clarity on this mess of a situation. Ugh the audacity of him calling YOU toxic after all the ridiculous drama and mind games he's been playing - talk about gaslighting at its finest! He can kiss that "giving you a chance" nonsense goodbye.

You so don't need that loser weighing you down or messing with your head anymore. Pack your bags girl and don't look back! Once you've dipped out of there, make sure to block him everywhere too so he can't try pulling you back in with empty promises. You've got your whole life ahead of you - so much better stuff waitin' out there than dealing with that loser's toxic manipulation.

Now go treat yourself to something you enjoy, surround yourself with your real ones who love you, and feel so proud of yourself for having the strength and self-respect to ditch that trash fire of a dude! You go sis, I'm rootin for ya all the way 💪

[Asker]

thanks so much dude you are the best! <3 it has been really hard like I feel so free and happy at the same time but I am so fucking enraged I lost hundreds or thousands of dollars worth of my belongings there and also fell so behind in school I am struggling to keep up right now despite all my professors granting me an extension and I also feel angry I did not immediately pull the plug on him in the first place. I have dumped and left him and am about to change my number so he doesn' t try to reach out even if he did I would laugh and ignore his pathetic disgusting ugly inside and out self, I have now seen who he really is which is evil and fucking disgusting and worthless trash and I know he will spend his whole existence miserable so I'm so happy I am away and can now find my dream guy

[Oliverlogan263]

Daaaamn girl, props to you for finally ditching that toxic loser! I know it's super hard leaving a relationship, especially when he's taken so much from you already. But you did the right thing - your freedom and happiness are worth so much more than any stuff or school hassles.

Don't even stress about playing catch up - your professors are looking out cause they know what's up. You'll bounce back in no time, and now you've got so much more energy to kick ass without wasting it on that loser ex dragging you down.

And BIG props for not taking him back if he tries crawling after you once you change your number! Dude is BENEATH you now and forever. Block/banish him to the trash realm where he belongs.

You got so much amazingness ahead without his evil ugly ass sabotaging your shine. Now go live your best life, girl! Your DREAM GUY is out there waiting to treat you like the QUEEN you are. You deserve the world - don't settle for anything less!

[petitedollbabee]

Girl, leave him.. so many red flags in that behaviour. Emotional abuse should never be tolerated!

[Asker]

thank you I will! he keeps telling me I'm the one who is doing something wrong... lol

[petitedollbabee]

Yeah, no, you’re not the one in the wrong here.