Is mirroring someone's body language as form of flirting or attraction reliable?

Question

I'm asking this because for whatever reason this particular girl was sitting opposite me in group study and from time to time I would notice that either she was sitting the exact way that I was or I was sub consciously was sitting the way she was. It was kind of weird, but in a good way.

What are your views?

Boogaloo · Accepted Answer

Sorry guys but this is actually fact that people do this entirely unconsciously when they feel close to somebody either as friends or more and when 2 people are having a close private conversation this mirroring behavior frequently ensues where they are in rapport and there is empathy.

And therefore - when you are getting close to someone you feel attracted to - this behavior can frequently occur.

It can be quite interesting to 'test' someone with this actually next time you are sitting close to someone you are talking to where you 2 are just talking to each other and no one else, if you move your arm, see if they move theirs, or if you cross your legs etc. You'd be surprised how someone copies your actions completely unconsciously when they are in rapport with you and just talking to you.

But its all unconscious.

Tamikaze · Accepted Answer

It can be, but it could also be a coincidence. I have experienced a few times in my life where I was doing something that inadvertently sent the wrong message to someone. One example is working out at the gym on a treadmill, zoning out and starting into the distance only to later realize it appeared I was staring at someone. I wouldn't read too much into this.

Now, if you two were having one-on-one convo's, she was mirroring and also doing other forms of flirting, I would take it more seriously.

TheDigitalSaint · Accepted Answer

Yes, as sixstring pointed out, it works.

Although the technique of mirroring builds comfort and ease with the other person, occasionally making a bold move which breaks a pattern after building that comfort can also send the excitement up considerably, like leaning in for the kiss and assuming the best.

Once again, you get better results when you build comfort and then make a bold move, especially if you are a man. If you never make a move to kiss a girl, you'll end up feeling like a really close friend. That's great if you want to be a friend, not so much if you want to ever get to first base with a girl or beyond.

bobair · Accepted Answer

Mirroring is not a form of attraction, it's a form of rapport.

Attraction is about tension and conflict and teasing and flirting.

Rapport is about loss of tension, building comfort, sharing similarities, etc.

Usually it pays to build attraction before building rapport... and attraction doesn't take long... maybe only a few minutes of banter and flirting. And once she starts to mirror you then you know she's trying to build rapport.

I hope this helps,

~ Robby

Darkfairie17 · Answer

It's definitely a form of flirting. I took a college class about dating and it was really interesting. We read about all these different theories on flirting and attracting. And mirroring is definitely one of them. It's a subconscious thing too, so she probably doesn't even realize she's doing it.

drkrose99 · Answer

I've read that if a person mirrors you in your body language, that means she is paying attention to you and is interested. Why don't you try it again when you see her. Next time, sit across from her and while you're talking, sit back and fold your arms. See if she does it. If she does it subconsciously then she's interested in you.

raptor · Answer

The problem with interpreting body language, especially in the area of attraction, is that people tend to see what they want to see if they're part of the situation. Mirroring someone can be a sign of attraction, but it could just as easily be coincidence. The only real way to get a good answer for this question is by having an objective observer with a good understanding of body language watching in real time.

jayrex · Answer

This is actually a real thing in psychology, where someone unconsciously mirrors someone else.  It is called mirroring and I've seen a video on it and it is interesting.  If there's any videos on YouTube and you want to see, I'll see if I can get a link.

Anonymous · Answer

It could possibly be attraction. Though I wouldn't use this to make an ultimate decision. The person that commented before was also correct. It could be social comfort. Whatever the reason you're "in sync" as mirroring (from what I've seen) is usually subconscious most people do not mimic someone's movements on purpose, nor do they mimic the movements of a person they don't like/feel uncomfortable around. So take it as a positive sign either way.

sixstring · Answer

Absolutely yes. And it's a very efficient way to come across as sympathetic.

Aririn · Answer

Personally, I just find it coincidence. I never paid enough attention to it between me and my ex. We were together for awhile. But I am aware that a lot of people say that you unconsciously do it if you're into someone.

sef0181 · Answer

It's a unconscious way of flirting. Typically if someone is doing it on purpose I think it looks weird, and you actually notice it. If they do it unconsciously you note it unconsciously.

On_the_other_hand · Answer

Sometimes people do this on purpose. Its called mirroring, but this is probably just a coincidence.

Try a really weird position and see if she follows. If she does she is up to something, perhaps she likes you.

Guysensei · Answer

no, your reading into something too much, a typical rookie mistake. you need much more concrete evidence to know she likes you. smiling and giggling with you a lot, teasing you and being playful.. sh*t like that

obligations · Answer

it's not reliable becuase there could be any reasons why someone would mirror.

Though to be honest, I mirror the person I tend to like by sheer habit. Also I mirror what they say too sometimes, not at that exact moment but like a few days later.

r0ntomyhermi0ne · Answer

some people mirror body image because they could be nervous, but they could also do it if they are attracted. it depends on the person. as for me, I mirror the boy that I like subconsciously and when I notice it, I change.

xobrowneyedbeauty · Answer

i subconsciously do it around guys I like all the time. I wouldn't use it as a sign that someone is attracted to you though because you don't know for sure whether you or her are doing the mirroring.

Anonymous · Answer

It can be a sign of admiration. I read that if you are on a date, taking a drink of your beverage a few seconds after your date takes a drink is a sign of interest. Did you find you were interested in her?

Yeahhbro · Answer

This dooesn't sounnd like a very reliable way of knowing if somebody likes you, just saying. Sounds like your mind its going to play a lot of games on you...Wishful thinking.

Broken719 · Answer

depednds on waht they are mirroring my second girlfreind mirrored the way I cracked my neck seconds after I did I saw it in the corner of my eye I later asked why and she said she wanted to feel like she was closer to me and that how she tried to

Anonymous · Answer

I think its a sign of social comfort, not sexual attraction.  One can help facilitate the other, but not independently.  They also say to use these techniques in business, etc.

MrNameless · Answer

YES, chances are, she likes you. Usually it's done subconciously. I've had a girl from my internship class mirror my movements, last quarter.

XxNatashaxX · Answer

idk, I catch myself doing that a lot when I'm around guys I'm attracted to but then I stop myself haha

AmberChick · Answer

I think it is pretty reliable, I read enough articles from cosmo for me to assess that it indeed is in fact reliable, if you believe in that stuff.

Standingpretty · Answer

I don't think it alone should be gauged to judge attraction. You should use many signals from body language and compile them to then make a judgement.

Anonymous · Answer

It most certainly is reliable because the person doing the mirroring doesn't realize he or she is doing it; it's subconscious.

Anonymous · Answer

At the club, I was dancing with a girl, and I pulled my hair back once, and she did the same. I did it again.. so did she, and I tried it again 2 times and she kept on doing it xD thought she was teasing me

SlickRicky · Answer

it does not necessarily mean they are attracted to you, but picking up on little things like this lets you know you have their attention, which could lead to attraction and flirting

Factshurt90 · Answer

Hm... I'll start paying more attention to this... Honestly, I've never noticed.

Elaine1 · Answer

She just wants you to notice you. Not weird but form her bottom mind.

Anonymous · Answer

yes, I think its a good sign I definitely end up mirroring the guy I like it just happens without thinking about it because you focus too much on them and lose your own thoughts

Anonymous · Answer

i don't think mirroring alone is but if the two of you flirt a lot too I would take it more seriously

libidoboost · Answer

sounds a little wweird to me. just talk to him and try to see what's up.

Anonymous · Answer

Idk. All I know is a guy was doing all these things. All the classic subtle flirrting things and he ended up having a girlfriend and denied staring at me, etc.

ShadowDude · Answer

It depends mostly on the person doing it, but generally it is a sign of flirting, whether they are presently aware of it or not. Its best if you use other ways to tell as the main source of belief.

ColtsFanForever · Answer

yea that is one of the signs that they are attracted to someone

brownchic · Answer

yes but no in your case lol

gaggleii · Answer

Generally, yes. But not a 100% reliable indicator.

TayTay21 · Answer

Nope.

robocop666 · Answer

I hear its creepy

kaitlovesyou · Answer

Sounds a bit creppy

Is mirroring someone's body language as form of flirting or attraction reliable?

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