Why "Body Positivity" is Wrong Nowadays

[bente2]

Hear me out on this before you start commenting things.

I love that we're trying to work towards accepting body types and are trying to change how we view people: instead of just seeing a body that looks 'hot' or 'ugly' etctera, we're starting to see beyond that and finding out there's so many body types and body goals people have and work to achieve. We're trying to break how men view women purely as sexual objects, how men state 'preferences' which are just another objectification. (women should have big boobs and ass, but be skinny etc) how women stop viewing guys that have sixpacks as date material and leave the others.

However, nowadays the goal seems to be: 'Accept everyone no matter what!!' which is a wrong message, and I'll explain why.

There's a certain weight limit many people (especially Americans) are crossing. I refer to it as obesity. When you look at videos like buzzfeed you find a lot of body positive ones, that include bigger women as well as smaller women. This is where I start to disagree. When you portray people that look like Tess munster (don't know who she is? Google her, she calls herself a model) to be healthy, people will think being just plain fat is okay, and it's not. I don't care what you say, obesity is unhealthy. You have people that are 'wider' in build and 'smaller' in build, but that is not the same as fat. I really hate how everyone is being 'body positive' without taking health in consideration. You should work out weekly and monitor what you eat no matter what weight you are or how you look.

That's why I'd rather support people like Kayla Itsines, people that are actually about health instead of about just "being positive". It teaches kids and teens that's it's okay to eat those cookies and it's okay to be lazy, while it's really not. You're risking heart disease and diabetes. Even if you're "skinny" you're not always healthy.

So please work out weekly, eat at least a little more healthy and focus on becoming healthy and strong, rather than just spreading "positivity".

[OlderAndWiser]

I disagree with some of the initial statements you made. I think that what we find attractive or arousing is innate, wired into us at birth, and cannot be changed. I like petite girls. I don't remember any time when I made a decision to date petite women; it is just something that I have always done. Many guys who get turned on by big boobs act like ogres, but I don't thin they can control or change their preferences. If we can control those things, then homosexuals and lesbians can control their same-sex attraction, too!

It's okay to spread a message that people should not be hated or ridiculed because they are a big bertha or a wide walter, but I am never going to be attracted to fat girls. Humans are - brace yourself for this - ANIMALS! We will always have an animal heritage and legacy; intellect and social programming cannot conquer that which is innate from the moment of conception.

[bente2]

I can see why you think that. And I can agree to some extent. What I mean is the guys that view women as sex objects and won't ever consider someone with a different body type. If you mwt a girl that was a but curvier, but she contained everything you're looking for in a partner, surely you would give her a chance?

[OlderAndWiser]

I married her.

[chigurl33]

Your reply kind sir is what I call (with all due respect) THE BOMB!!!

[OlderAndWiser]

@chigurl33 Thank you, ma'am!

[bente2]

Haha😄

[W31rd0]

I wouldn't focus so much on appearance. Some people are just bigger than others, but metabolically healthy; other people may be fat or thin but metabolically ill. The problem is not so much with obesity; the problem lies in metabolic syndrome and bodily imbalance. The appearance of fatness may or may not be manifested in someone with metabolic syndrome or some kind of bodily imbalance due to a poor diet.

It's perfectly okay to eat cookies, as long as you treat them as luxury products and eat them on holidays, which come a few times a year. :)

As for laziness, I think laziness should actually be encouraged in society. I've even written a myTake on why laziness should be encouraged in society. Link: www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a33761-6-reasons-why-we-need-to-encourage-more-laziness-in-society

[kilowatt04]

This is just a backlash. Every movement gets it, and I don't buy it. What it comes down to is extreme/annoying/loud people hurting the reputation of a movement, and then the conservative backdrop saying "nope, your movement is all rubbish" because they are quick to do that at every chance.

So what I mean by this here is, not every, or even most, body positivity people want to promote unhealthiness, or deny it, or say it's a great thing to be unhealthy. It is simply about being accepted as a human being worthy of being treated with respect, and being free of shame (and yeah the shame thing is a whole other debate), no matter what you look like. People who want to denounce body positivity are just looking for that most extreme possible position of "I'm awesome for being super fat and unhealthy" or whatever so they can call bullshit on it. I guarantee that extreme position does exist, and I don't agree with it, and body positivity as a thing in general also does not. "Body positivity" as a term is pretty easy to associate with the extreme if you want to.

We see the exact same thing with feminism, which exists to support equal treatment of people whether they are a woman or a man. The name "feminism" is pretty pointed, and doesn't say anything about other genders, and yes there are man-hating female supremacists who identify as feminist, and that's why people ever criticize feminism. I don't buy that either, because most feminists are just trying to push for their right to live life without being slighted.

Every criticism of Black Lives Matter, LGBT pride, Civil Rights, etc, all comes down to this backlash against the loudest craziest possible end of it, and treating everyone involved in the movement like that's what they think. People are like "Hey, you're sticking up for someone who isn't me? That feels threatening to me because what about me?"

[Warmapplecrumble]

I think its important to love the real beauty which is creation itself.

How rude it is to tell Nature... its creation, any creation is not perfect enough or worse ugly. Now imagine, you are a creative artist - you draw many pictures. If 2 pictures out of 20 are called ugly, how would you feel? How about if you give birth to your baby and someone calls this new life ugly. Place yourself in the shoes of Nature.

No creation is ugly.

Every creation is beautiful.

What true beauty is empathy, agape, understanding, innocence. And true ugliness is apathy, narcissism, arrogance, ego, hatred, jealousy.

If we are all truly beautiful which one of us are on this planet. As we all possess ugliness. It takes dedication and years of practice to be pure beauty.

If we all appreciated the true essence then majority would not harm their bodies. In this case loathe, hate, cry in desperation and performing gluttony.

And to point out not every 'big' person is over eating.

It's our job to help and love not to judge and criticise and make matters worse... we all have issues,

[Warmapplecrumble]

Not one but none of us are beautiful*** correction

[dogsandyoga]

I am 100% ALL FOR feeling beautiful and comfortable in your own skin - wether you are overweight or not. Everybody has the right to feel good about themselves (not to mention the fact that beauty is subjective, and not just relative to physical appearance).

HOWEVER, this 'body positivity' movement is taking a dangerous turn, where activists are trying to normalise obesity, some even going as far to say that you can be overweight, and STILL be perfectly healthy! This message is SO dangerous. Most western countries are facing an obesity epidemic, and the last thing we need to do is reassure overweight people that their bodies are normal and healthy!

Like I said before, just because you're overweight, that doesn't mean that you don't deserve to feel good about yourself. BUT health and safety should ALWAYS take priority over people's sensitivities. There comes a point where your BMI indicates that your are no longer 'just curvy', and people need to acknowledge when they cross that line into obesity, and start making some serious lifestyle changes to slim down again.

[lumos]

"When you portray people that look like Tess munster [...] to be healthy, people will think being just plain fat is okay, and it's not."

Nobody is claiming that being obese is healthy. Body positivity and body acceptance =/= having the healthiest body ever. Body positivity is about accepting your body, no matter what it looks like. Everyone knows that being overweight/obese is a health risk and as far as I'm aware of, nobody who's even remotely educated is claiming that being fat is fine from a healthy standpoint.
But you make it seem like it's not acceptable to be fat. That being fat is somehow wrong or shameful. Is it healthy? No. Are there many diseases and health risks that come with being obese? Yes. Does this mean that people who are overweight should hate themselves? NO.
That's the important aspect here. Body positivity is just that. Positivity. Nobody is accepting obesity or being overweight as being HEALTHY. They're accepting the fact that there are some people who look like that, and shouldn't be ashamed of it. Or bullied for it. Or hate themselves for it.
Everyone deserves to be able to accept themselves and love themselves, no matter what they look like. And quite frankly I'd argue that it's much more motivating for people to work on themselves when they feel happy and positive. As far as I'm concerned, bullying overweight people and barking at them about health issues and diseases isn't motivating, never has been motivating, and will only destroy their self-esteem. To the point where they might swing to an extreme, namely eating disorders and self-mutilation.
Body positivity is about making people happy with themselves, and to motivate them towards a more healthy life. Not to claim that being overweight is somehow healthy and that there aren't any consequences.

[Anonymous]

Personally I find most movements like this to be hilarious. Body positivity is pointless they don't change how society honestly thinks only how they act in public. You can work real hard to stop people from shaming a certain body shape and to get it included in certain magazines and stuff but that's not going to change how people feel about them only how they talk. People will feel less ashamed of their bodies which is great and I think it's a wonderful goal to strive towards but the majority of people aren't walking around going "what? you mean super curvy is all the rage these days I gotta get more of that in my life". Need proof look at the body variety on the planet today. It exists for a reason. Different people are attracted to different things always have been always will be. What's in the magazines and on TV have never been about what's hot and what's not. They've always been about which undercover narcissist can shout their opinion the loudest. This body positivity movement is pretty much the same thing. People yelling about how things should be instead of coping with the way things are. Am I suggesting that no one work to make social change happen? No I'm just saying the world has a natural flow to it and one of those flows is who's attracted to what. and if you look through history you'd know very clearly that no one body type fits the bill. We should be working to educate people about the truth of humanity instead of trying to force people to act like they shouldn't or should be attracted to something.

[englisc]

Yeah, I understand the idea behind it, but they've just gone too far with it and it's all a bit silly. I know there are women who develop eating disorders and end up anorexic because of comments over their weight, but the solution to that isn't to encourage obesity. I keep on seeing this video being shared recently by quite a few girls of this girl who isn't actually what I've call fat, she just isn't super skinny, but apparently some idiots have been calling her fat online. In the video she's eating and laying in a pile of junk food - is that really what we should be encouraging? Anorexia and eating disorders are a problem, but so is obesity - in fact you could argue at this point that obesity is more common as obesity related illnesses kill just as many people as smoking related ones nowadays. But they encourage that rather than health. I also fond it strange that many of these "body positive" people seem to think it's okay to call some women "skinny bitches".

[bente2]

Overeating is also an eating disorder! I agree.

[Lightspeed-Lemon]

Yes, your message is very important, especially in this day and age of kids spending their days in front of screens. In fact, young people are now coming down with diseases and ailments that used to be seen only in old people! So no, not all lifestyles and their resulting body sizes/weights are created equal.

One thing I can't understand is why society has no problem shaming super skinny people and treating them with suspicion. It's become quite common and acceptable to call a stick-thin celebrity disgusting, or tell a skinny friend to go eat a burger, yet forbidden to shame fat people and tell anyone to eat less.

[bente2]

I've been told many times to eat more, when I am eating fruit for example. I agree!

[Edymemelord]

Being a feminist and very deep into the whole Body Positivity thing it is not at all accept people however they are.
That's like assuming the feminist movement is the feminazis.
But I wouldn't be surprised about people mistaking this then, since everyone still thinks most feminists are feminazis lol.
But anyways I'm glad you like the acceptance of bodies thing. I like it too.
I was anorexic (still am technically) and it was because of my parents and people making fun of me for being fat as a kid so when this movement study I was so happy.
The less people that have to feel the way I did the better.
I'm really glad the movement is happening and I see more good than bad in it.

Just my opinion on the subject.
Dont get #triggered anyone

[bente2]

I'm ok with how the movement started in the beginning, but I see SO many overweight (especially) women that promote "body positivity" while they're clearly obese! I don't think thwy should exactly be the spokesperson for a movement created to feel good in your skin. Because if you're unhealhty, you should change it. (In a healthy way)

[Edymemelord]

Yeah I totally agree.
Overweight is unhealthy. I focus on how the movement is for people without arms, skin conditions, normal weight and that you dont have to be a stick and such.

[Paul1236]

Does "feminism" still exist? I swear it died off years ago.

[Paul1236]

People don't talk about it, you do you and that's that.

[Edymemelord]

@Paul1236
Oh yeaaaah it does, look up slut walks and feminist pages on tumblr and stuff (beware you might find some cancer)

[Paul1236]

I know but who talks about it these days?

[Edymemelord]

@Paul1236
Everyone on the internet and college xD

[Anonymous]

I do agree with everything you're saying but I think Kayla Itsines is not the best example for body positive fitness/promoting a healthy lifestyle? Her diet is too restrictive for a lot of people and her workouts are pretty hard. I've tried out her program and I found it to be very energy draining, even though I always have worked out consistently and have already been eating (mostly) mindfully. Also, her Instagram is full of skinny women, weight loss talk and posed/edited pictures which can be really fueling into self hate, especially for teenage girls. I would recommend "planking for pizza" 's Instagram instead because she's working very hard too but keeps everything real and her diet isn't unrealistically restrictive.
Still a great take though, it highlights the problems that some forms of body positivity can create.

[bente2]

Ywah, but kayla itsines also posts many pictures of moms that have lost the baby pounds, and just women that are strong. I feel like she portrays a vast array of women and different body types. It can work for you, but it doesn't have to of course! There's loads of others including the one you named that are also good.

[CHRIS11796]

I agree to an extent, yes obesity isn't healthy and it can cause some serious health problems to the body. However in all honesty is their lifestyle any of your business to begin with? I mean i get you want them to be healthy but how does it effect you in any way possible? I know there are obese people out there and i would encourage them to get active but I'm not going to remind them 24/7 how obesity isn't healthy. a lot of the times i think people bash obesity because it looks sexually unnatractive, you don't really care that they're obese, you care more about how unattractive it looks don't you?

[CHRIS11796]

Unhealthy it looks*

[bente2]

I care because it's unhealthy and obese people in some western countries get certain privileges i don't think they deserve. Unless you're obese due to an illness, you have no reason to be. It's not my "business" But I'm annoyed with how people misuse the body positivity movement..

[RJGraveyTrain]

This is the thing: I see no issue in not thinking obesity is healthy or a state of being that someone should be in. But at the end of the day we have no right to put people down, to tell people how to live their lives, or make anyone feel unaccepted for their APPEARANCE.

If you aren't willing to workout with, right a meal plan for, and motivate every overweight person like a personal trainer then you really have no right to tell them how they should be living. If you don't genuinely care about this person - this person you don't know - and you're just assuming things based on weight, then in my opinion you're frankly being a douche.

Do you have to agree with it? No. Can you refuse to partake in it? Yes. Can you promote healthy living? Abso-fucking-lutely. But don't target people and tell them what they should or shouldn't do. At the end of the day it's up to them how they want to live and no one needs to be shamed for that.

Just my two cents.

[RJGraveyTrain]

write* rather

[Blonde401]

Obese people know their obese. And their body has absolutely nothing to do with you. Nobody looks up to these people and wants to be just like them. People get obese because they're addicted - just like people are addicted to games and drugs. Some people are just naturally bigger and some people have health issues that make them that big. If they want to feel positive about themselves how are they affecting YOU and your life in any way? Why does everyone constantly have to feel like shit because society says you have to? That's just so unecessary.

[bente2]

I'm sorry but i'd rather "shame" them into getting healthy then spread around positivity and make it seem like it's ok to be obese. It's not, no excuse.

[lumos]

@bente2 if you knew anything about psychology, you would know that positive reinforcement (acceptance, encouragement) is much for effective than negative reinforcement (shaming).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinforcement

[lumos]

much more effective*

[Blonde401]

Because you're super perfect and not flawed in any way aren't you? Little 16 year old who knows everything? 😂 Yeah I bet. How do they affect you in any way? Grow up a little first.

[Blonde401]

@lumos yep. Agree 100% that positive reinforcement is the way. Negative never works.

[bente2]

@lumos yeah, but that's what I'm saying here. It doesn't work that way because "body positivity" is going in the wrong direction and claiming being obese is fine. That's what this is about.

[bente2]

@Blonde401 and who are you? I'm sorry but never did I say I wasn't flawed or perfect, but I am healthy and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

I have also not I'm right and anybody's wrong. This is thw way I view it. It's really easy to just comment someone's age and invalidate them, all adults use that excuse when they can't actually make arguments.

[lumos]

@bente2 it seems like you've misunderstood body positivity because that's not at all what it's about. An overweight person can accept their body and even like it, but at the same time work towards becoming healthier and losing weight. Accepting your body the way it looks does not mean you're completely unaware of the negative consequences that come with being overweight. It does not mean that you refuse to lose weight. It just means that even overweight people deserve to feel confident and deserve to like themselves and the body they're in. Just because an overweight person likes or accepts their body, it does not mean that they don't want to change it. I can accept the fact that I have blonde hair because it's a part of me and I'm ok with it, but I still dye it brown because that's what I like and I'm willing to change it. Get it?

[Blonde401]

@lumos *applause* yes. Thank you.

[Blonde401]

Fat people know they're fat. They don't need your judgmental ass to tell them. THEY KNOW. They are aware. You being a bitch doesn't make them skinny. Worry about yourself and keep your negativity to yourself.

[bente2]

Oh fuck off. I'm fine with everyone having their opinions- without them the world gets dull- but I'm mot up for you complaining about me. That's a bitchy thing to donand I'm not willing to participate.

You have your opinion, I have mine. Neither are going to adjust and that's ok.

[Blonde401]

So it's fine for you to complain about others and be negative but nobody can say anything about you because you're perfect right? You're free of criticism? Irony much.

[Blonde401]

You can bitch about others but they can't say anything to you? You're ridiculous.

[bente2]

Listen here, I don't know why you're so angry all the time, perhaps it's the age, but if you just read my comment you wouldn't be so stupid. I'm not responding anymore.

[Blonde401]

😂 fine don't. I'm not 'angry all the time'. I'm angry at what a hypocrite you are.

[chigurl33]

Body positivity was a good thing and did a whole lot of good but well also a lot of harm. It wasn't teaching people to love themselves anymore but to love things that not only affect you but also others I. e obesity. It taught me to love things I cannot change because unless I get surgery, I can never look skinny. I'm not saying I can never be skinny just that I won't look it because of my body shape.

When I was a size 12 or so, most people thought I was an 18 and I would have to look annoying while shopping and telling the attendant they were wrong about my size. So like every other movement... it started out great and derailed along the way into something unrecognizable... morbid obesity acceptance.

[Turquoise46]

I think you're missing the point of body positivity. The point is that no matter how you look, you need to love yourself before you even feel motivated to get healthy. You need to accept what is "you", all of you, including the bumps and lumps. Being depressed and feeling helpless to change just drives people toward emotional eating.

This is been huge for me, personally, because I am overweight and I do hate the way I look, but gradually learning to say "this is still me and I still love myself" is what has helped motivate me to finally feel confident to start exercising and eating better. You're not going to take care of something that you hate.

[Anonymous]

I don't actually care if someone is big or small. As a woman though, I think teaching girls body positivity from a young age is good. By body positivity I mean learning to like the natural parts of themselves, so when they do actually get older they're less susceptible to criticism about their bodies.

Maybe instead of teaching body positivity people should focus less on what's on the outside and more on what's on the inside (so touchy feely, I know). But seriously, a person's outer appearance doesn't always tell you whether they'e a good person or not and this goes for whether they are on the bigger side or the smaller side. I think in general our culture is very focused on what you look like.

[bente2]

I really agree with what you're saying. My point is that body positivity tends to be used as an excuse for overweight people instead of what you just described.

[ebbyeb]

I agree with the first part of this MyTake!! The second part I totally disagree with and here's why. Tess Munster isn't overweight as much as it's just her body type. I'd even venture to say that she's relatively thin on closer inspection. If she was actually fat, her body wouldn't deposit everything in JUST her stomach area. If you look, she has a really slim face as well as fairly slim hands and wrists. If she was truly obese, fat, whatever you want to call it, her body would deposit fat in those areas as well. Bodies don't pick and choose fat deposits etc. They're fairly spread out throughout the body. Yes, she's definitely a bit on the chubbier side compared to your average person, but that doesn't default her to being fat or obese. Infact, considering that this is her body type, she's most likely fine. Nice MyTake though! It's definitely an issue.

[bente2]

"Chubbier"?
https://i.imgur.com/zzMIprH.jpg

I'm sorry but she's obese.

[ebbyeb]

Again, there's no fat deposits in the areas that I mentioned before. Her face would "puff" put more, so to say... But her face is relatively thin.

[bente2]

The power of make up is at work too, ya know. Idc where she stores the fat, that's not ok and she's unhealthy.

[ebbyeb]

We can agree to disagree. I believe that beauty can be found in anything, because when you really think hard on it, beauty doesn't exist in the first place... It's just a value that humans have created.

[bente2]

Yeah but so is time, money, virginity etcetera. Almost everything is created by humans.

[CheerGirl38139]

I English goodly. I American it my fist language.

Mother take boy into changing room for other women to see genital it. It in God word. Jesus say so. Many family member shower and masturbate together. It not sexual. It not incest. It God word.

I butt-hurt when people say English not my language. My wife stand here with me. She say you are joke female.

media.giphy.com/media/CDELGpgKu5zNu/giphy.gif

[vonasaurus]

the whole point of body positivity is accepting and loving your body, regardless of what size you are. it has nothing to do with promoting obesity.

okay, so you ate a cupcake. are you eating the entire box of cupcakes? do you eat cupcakes every day? no? then eat the damn cupcake. it's tasty, and one won't kill you.

you know your thyroid? that organ that regulates appetite, metabolism, etc... yeah, mine's broken, and i take synthetic hormones to keep things in check. weight loss is a nightmare. but does the fact that my body isn't "perfect" mean that i'm less deserving of (self-) love?

promote what you love, instead of bashing what you don't.

[Robin48]

So this article is most for female. It female who sit around and make off the way remarks about other people bodies. Make rude remarks and giggle at other people private areas. My pray is I hope someday female will stop talking trash about other people bodies. There are males who do it also. You female are at the top of the list. Stop making remarks about other people children. Females do not fight this. You are gross in what you said about others. Do not fight this. You know you are. Stop be judgmental of others. Stop making remarks about children bodies.

[bente2]

I got nothing useful from your comment. It's all loose sentences.

[SongoftheStray]

It's because English is clearly not his first language.
He's basically saying he'd really like it if other women stopped trashing each other and some men do it too.
He's also saying it's mostly women who sit around and make remarks about the bodies of other women.

[Robin48]

@SongoftheStray

Female love to insult others in what they do not agree with. You female ever learn how to be nice. Try it one day.

[Robin48]

Bente2

Female love to insult others in what they do not agree with. You female ever learn how to be nice. Try it one day.

[SongoftheStray]

Seriously?
I was trying to point out your English wasn't the best and paraphrase what you were saying, so she could get it. No malice behind it and I do that in any situation I can, since being a foreigner myself I know how frustrating it is when things get lost in translation.
That said you're doing the very thing you're accusing us of, bashing women. I had no malicious intent, but you quite happily blew up at me, and I honestly can't be bothered with you if you're that sensitive to imagined slights.
So cheers mate, I'm out, I'm not into theatrical displays and I don't engage with them.

[Robin48]

@SongoftheStray

I am aware the female on most media site love to tell others off mostly those who are in their 20's. Have a nice day. Jesus love you and he can help you with your problem.

[bente2]

Please just leave

[Robin48]

You can leave. You do not tell others on this site what they do and what they do not do. It not your living room.

[bente2]

Then you're a hyppocrite cuz you jist told me to leave ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I don't know what you're trying

[Robin48]

I be praying for you.

[bente2]

I'd rather not, I might end up in heaven with all the boring people like yourself.

[Robin48]

You are a teenager with issues. You need to have respect for those who are older than you.
Do you mouth your parents off. I hope not. That is a sin.

[bente2]

*i need to have respect for those that deserve it. Respect does not just come with age.

[Robin48]

Teenagers need to have respect for those who are older. Teens do not what to be told anything. They think they know it all. Mostly the females.

[bente2]

I have respect for those that deserve it. Respect does not come with age, if you believe that, you're pathetic.

Furthermore, your comment is generalising and sexist.
Not all teens are know it alls. Adults can be know it alls as well, as it is a character trait, not a phase.
You saying most girls are? That's just dumb.

[Robin48]

No, it not. It funny how you females can say what you what to said about males. When we males said something it wrong. You are series. Look in the mirror.

What I said about females are the facts.

[bente2]

LEARN PROPER English.

E N G L I S H

You're too much of a bigot. I won't waste my time any longer.

[Robin48]

Learn how to be a lady.

[sp33d]

Body positivity is wrong? :D Oh dear, there are so many things that are wrong to someone. If I had to go out of my way to satisfy each and every one of those numerous requirements I wouldn't have time to live my life how I want to. Perhaps, they are wrong and I am right, but who ever asks themselves that, hmm?

[bente2]

No, that's not the message i'm trying to convey! It's just that body positivity used to be about accepting your shape, accepting the fact you might never attain the ideal and still love yourself, while I feel nowadays it's used as an excuse to obesity.

[sp33d]

@bente2 Not for me to decide how one chooses their lifestyle.