A thought about my current relationship

A thought about my current relationship

I promise this won't be long.

As many of you who have been following my situation and my outbursts for some time now, at end of July I broke up with the girl I was supposed to propose to.
It was just the necessary euthanization of a terminal relationship, not the killing of a living and vibrant one. I'm not proud about that, because it was a complete failure on my part.
I should have been stronger and able to withstand more, after all the good man has two hearts - one bleeds and the other loves.
I didn't lose only my ex girlfriend, but my sister too - she has declared she will never forgive me for this and I'm a dead to her.

A thought about my current relationship

But this isn't the point of this myTake.

Shortly after breaking up and moving out, I went around with various kinds of people and friends, trying to collect my thoughts and decide what to do next (and also doing some stupid things). In those days, an old friend popped back up in my life. I've known her for years, back in High School she was my tutoring student (she was two years above me) she gave me repetitions and was my senior and presentator for school projects.

Pretty much many of my single nights
Pretty much many of my single nights

Our friendship had been a little strained because of my relationship with my ex, a relationship my friend never approved of and had correctly predicted would end up badly.
There was a bit of awkwardness when we started hanging out again and we even had some discussions at firts. I'm not trying to justify myself in any way, I was too focused on being hurt and was an ass to her on some occasions - some of the G@gers here remember how awful to deal with I was in that period.

A thought about my current relationship

However, the more we kept frequenting each other, the more she made me understand she wanted to make a step forward and try it out. I admit I had something for her since High School but never put a serious thought into it. On the other hand, I noticed there was something in the way we clicked together that there wasn't before.

So at first a bit reluctantly, then with more confidence, I entered in a relationship with her.

So, you want to try or...?
So, you want to try or...?

Some G@gers and people in my life accused me of moving too on fast, and I honestly think they are right.

I should have taken more time for myself and let my wounds heal a bit before jumping right in with someone else. Even if she's being delicate and very understanding, it's not her job to heal those wounds. That's something I have to do on my own.

On the other hand, I have to recon she's really improving my life. She's really changing it for the better and making me more hopeful for the future, she makes me notice how there's always something fun and exciting, and cheers me up and encourages me a lot.
Sure, she's a bit particular in her hobbies, interests and work choices, but she's "infecting" me with a love for life that I wasn't feeling for a while now.

A thought about my current relationship
It gets stranger...

She's also sharing with me her healthier lifestyle with a more balanced diet, much less alcohol, trying to quit smoking and exercise.

So I understand I did a lot of mistakes and screws up, and maybe I don't even deserve all the good things I'm receiving right now, but I really want to try and make the best of it.

Thanks for reading,
Jean-Marie

A thought about my current relationship
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Most Helpful Girls

  • Porcelaine

    Well it was your first relationship. You cannot be that hard on yourself for not handling it better because you had no experience and just did what felt right at the moment. Yes you did move on very fast, and I was one of the people who pointed this out, but I am sure most of us just wanted for you to take things slowly so that the new girls does not become a rebound or just a way to escape your troubles. You made the right choice since even if it does not work out you'd taken a chance. It's always best to try things with someone you like and might be right for you and take a risk, than to have regrets and keep asking yourself in the future what if it worked out with her?
    ''Even if she's being delicate and very understanding, it's not her job to heal those wounds. That's something I have to do on my own.''
    Of course, but she was aware of your situation and encouraged you to start dating her, so she at least needs to be understanding and patient, especially since it was a serious relationship. Wounds take time to heal, she is a fresh breath of air to you from all this negativity so with her they will heal quicker I am sure.
    I am very happy to hear how better you feel after cutting toxic people out of your life and allowing this good influence from your new girl breathe some life into you. Hope things continue to go to a positive direction.

    Is this still revelant?
    • Thank you for your kind and encouraging words, I wholeheartedly appreciate them!

      I'm being very careful to not make her a rebound or worse, behave like I did with my ex since she's her own person - something we talked about, she told me to be more laid back and not be overly cautious like I was with my ex.

      We are taking things slowly, tonight we are celebrating her birthday and is going pretty well so far.
      As of now she said that the only things she expects of me is to have fun, spend time with her and don't sleep with other girls, and I think they are perfectly rational requests.

    • Porcelaine

      She seems very level headed and a good inluence on you, I am glad.

  • SexyAshh

    You did move on fast. But sometimes thats what people need! Everyone handles things differently and moves at their own rate. You are definatly doing whats best for you and seem happy.

    No need to think about anything right now, especially the past. Just keep living in the moment

    Is this still revelant?
    • You are right, especially since I'm really revaluing everything in my life now.
      I hope things are going well for you!

    • SexyAshh

      Exactly! And we are kind of eghh🤷‍♀️ i think sometimes there's an initial excitement that dosnt last, and sometimes it gets better. I think we are more so the first, im just kind of bored but we will see

    • SexyAshh

      Thanks mho!

Most Helpful Guys

  • Aysen

    You've had quite the rollercoaster earlier with your ex-girlfriend and sister but sometimes, things in life happen for a reason. You were depressed for a long time and nothing was changing, which isn't healthy to experience by any means. I'm honestly surprised your sister took your ex-girlfriend's side over yours considering you're family to her, although it's never fun to pick sides either way. I hope she'll come back around to you because losing family like that must be heart-breaking!

    With that said, I'm happy to hear that you and your current girlfriend are taking this slow and learning to understand one another! People may tell you that you've rushed into this new relationship too quickly but everyone's pacing is different after a break-up. If you felt ready to take on a new relationship without feeling burdened by your previous one, this will work out very nicely between you and current girlfriend! She understood where you came from and is accepting you for it, which is already a good start between you two! Keep me and others up to date on how this relationship goes as time progresses! I'm happy to hear this is going in a much, more positive direction for you, considering everything that happened prior to this!

    Is this still revelant?
    • Thank you for your kind words and encouragements, I wholeheartedly appreciate them!
      Yes, I admit it has been a very rough period for me and that I didn't really behave well with many people and did a lot of stupid things but now everything seems to be clearing up. I admit that my sister's behavior really hurt me and it's something that tears me apart even now, but I hope that will clear up soon.
      Tomorrow is also my new girlfriend's birthday and I've already prepared everything to make it special.

      How are you doing? I noticed that you too had your fair share of toiling and tribulations those days, I'm happy that you and you girlfriend managed to get through it and as I said already, I always root for you guys!
      If you want to talk about it, you are free to PM me 👍.

    • Aysen

      You're very welcome! Your kind words are appreciated from when you posted on my MyTake as well!
      Sometimes we go through rough patches to get back to where we want to be. I have a feeling your sister will come back to you, even if it may take a while to do so to understand your point of view. How exciting that it's your girlfriend's birthday! What did you have planned for her? :)

      I'm doing much better after having those moments! We're still currently repairing the relationship and it's going at a smooth pace so far :) I'll let you know if anything big comes up don't worry!

    • It's normal to have quarrels and different expectations in a relationship, what matters is finding what matters and work it out together! From what I've read you two have a very solid and long relationship, so I was sure you'd find the right way to go on!

      I admit I'm a bit bummed about my sister, but as of now I can only wait, time is medicine in those cases.
      For my girlfriend's birthday I got her some gifts, and since we are both working today we agreed to make the celebrations tonight. I prepared her some pleasant surprises and I'll be ending my shift in an hour, so I'll have the time to set up everything before she arrives!

  • OlderAndWiser

    So far, I must say that I am impressed with the patience and maturity of your new girlfriend. She has been understanding, has not pushed you into anything, has waited for you to deal with your break up, has not tried to alienate you from anyone. I don't think you could expect more from a girlfriend. Despite all of my accolades for her, I still think you need to proceed slowly. It would be easy to confuse your joy at recovering from the bad relationship and breakup with joy for the new relationship.

    You are a good man with a good heart. I wish all the blessings of the Lord upon you!

    Is this still revelant?
    • Thank you my friend, you too are a good and patient man and I too wish you every well, thought, pray and hope!

      You are right about needing to proceed slowly, I'm doing for both our' sake and to wrap up any issue that's left.

    • Thanks for MHO!

What Girls & Guys Said

67
  • Kakella

    You had a bad moment my friend, everyone does, but I'm happy to know you are doing better now. All the best man!

  • I was waiting for the right moment to post this
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ri_d6VkpEBo

  • I think you have the right attitude and motivation here. I hope this relationship works out for you.

    • Thank you, I really want for this to work out even if it started in an untraditional way.

  • Wow! You know I personally think each person is different as to how much time is needed to heal after a break up. Some take longer than others. But it sounds as if you found something that is improving your life, body, mind and soul. We should all be so lucky. As far as what you did to your ex, whatever it was, not my business, it's in the past and there is nothing you can do to change that. The best way you can apologise for what you did is by never doing it again and treating the one you have now with utmost respect, love, generosity and admiration

    • Thank you for your kind and encouraging words, I wholeheartedly appreciate them.
      Simply said, I couldn't deal with my ex's mental health issues and obsessive behaviors anymore. and told her I'd still support her but not be her boyfriend anymore. That, and I have been growing distant from her the whole summer, and I should have spoke out sooner.

      The thing I can do now is wait some time before trying to mend things with my sister and be a better communicator with my current girlfriend.

  • Well if your sister proclaimed you dead to her then good riddance, any one who would abandon some one like that is not a good person to be around. It sucks but just because some one is family doesn't mean they are not bad people and as such if they treat you in a way you would never allow any one else to treat you, you shouldn't allow them to treat you that way either.

    That said, its entirely possible you moved on to fast, but life doesn't wait as they say and some times you have to hit the ground running. Being aware that things moved fast means that your at least analyzing the situation and trying to adapt the best you can so that is always a good sign. I would simply say make sure your not getting into a "out of the frying pan into the fire" sort of situation (it frequently happens that people in toxic relationships escape it only to end up in another one). Just make sure you have boundaries and you keep to them, otherwise enjoy what you have and good luck.

  • GiveitaShance

    Everyone deserves to be happy. You found your happiness so don't be afraid to be a little selfish about it. Maybe the timing isn't right but love comes in unxpected ways at unexpected times. Be happy.

  • ECityGirl89

    Good that you found yourself along the way and it worked out In the end.

  • MIMIKENT1325

    You dont know what you have been missing until it arrives and i believe that

  • Gotta go threw the storm to see the rainbow ♥️

  • ForteExe

    Why is your sister upset with you?

    • She and my ex are best friends and she sponsored our relationship. The moment I made it clear I was breaking up with her bestie, she took her side.

    • ForteExe

      Ah. Dick move on her part.

    • ForteExe

      Also what do you mean "sponsored our relationship"? Did she pay you to fuck each other or something?

    • Show All
  • Massageman

    Take some time to think it through.

  • LuWe22

    Nice that it worked out for you in the end.

  • Anonymous

    Hmmm you jumped too fast but hopefully this new girl will put some balance in your life and you do your best to make her happy :)

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