I regret meeting my boyfriend?

[Little_Too_Late]

I love him to death but I really do regret meeting him. He was my first love and I gave up a lot (a bright, educational future) for him.

Now I have nothing and he is overseas working. We are now in a long distance relationship. I have no job (I'm actively looking but no luck), no studies (I gave it up to be with him, long story and a bad decision which made my pare ts decide they will never pay for my studies again), no money (because of no work) and ultimately no boyfriend because he is so far away.

I regret meeting him, it wrecked my life (yes, because of my own stupid choices, but at that moment I thought it was the best decision.)

Now I wish I can go back in time and go to London to work and study like I had planned after grafuation before I started dating my boyfriend.

I feel like a complete failure and don't know what to do.

[DrKran]

You choose your heart over your work, maybe this is actually what's best for you.
But I'd personally suggest you become a merchant.

Buy stuff online and sell for slightly more.

Buying several boxes of sodas and having a large cooler selling them 1$ each 12 in each pack. They're like 4$ each container so you'll have a great 8$ profit each.
Reconsider yourself as an arabic person and dress like a talliban, they'll buy and say this "Selling fresh drinks real real cheap come buy right now I give you for 1 dolla!" "Good price yes, yes?" "At these prices, you might as well come on over and get refreshed haha" Sell whatever you find on the internet, be sure to have a jacket holding extra valuables.

Start up a restaurant with the money you've earned and name it "Gizmos!" or whatever, find some exotic dishes and sell them, be sure to merch there too, customers are always ready and willing to give you money when you open your hands or... mittens wide up.

It's a non-skill required act of trade

[ThisDudeHere]

At 19 you can still apply for a school you want and get the education you want. It's not "that" late. Best of luck.

[Little_Too_Late]

The problem is money.

[ThisDudeHere]

Well yeah... that is a prob. But if you put yourself out there, strive for it, good things will come. Every successful person has failed 10 times before they succeeded once.

[LightsOff]

Meeting him didn't wreck your life, you wrecked your own life.

However I do believe in second chances. If I were you, I'd go back to my parents and make a very elaborate and genuine apology. Tell them how you messed up big time, how much you regret it, that you wish you could get an education now and how the future scares you. That you're serious about focusing on your education and that you hope they can forgive you. If they're good parents, they will want you to succeed and might start paying for your education again. However, be prepared that they might ask you to break up with your boyfriend if you're really serious about it.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Yup used to be in your position but I moved away broke up and now happy... actually at your age too

[Little_Too_Late]

But did you love her? Because even though I wish I didn't, I love him and don't want to lose him.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Of course I tried to make it work...3 years... told her I love you every night and goodnight for all 3. Sometimes singing her awake in the morning and making her breakfast. Yes i did love her very much. More than I have ever loved anyone.

[Little_Too_Late]

How did you get over her?

[OrdinaryGentleman]

I moved away. It also hurt because I finally had a father in my life... her dad, but I had to cut that relationship too. I started a new life. I knew I could be improved as a person but I never had anyone to guide me. So I began working on myself; to make a long story short I got back to my feet again by understanding
1. why it didn't work
2. what could be improved with me
3. focus on my goals and dreams
next is what I began
4. exercising
5. learning how to code and
6. which is where I am at now, studying philosophy and just making my self into the strongest version of myself.
I guess I figured that If I kept trying to love her, one day she might love me... but... that day never came... no... it didn't.

[Little_Too_Late]

I'm really starting to consider breaking up with him. I'm putting a lot into this relationship even though it's long distance. And it seems hard but it seems like the better thing to do for myself. Now it's just getting myself to do it.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Its hard for me to help someone break up with someone else since it goes against what I believe in; but in this case its your best option in my experience long distance relationships do not work. I wish you the best and just PM me since we talked about a lot and if you need someone to talk to.

[Little_Too_Late]

Thanks, I think I will because there aren't many people to talk to, especially about this.

[OrdinaryGentleman]

Oh here there is they are just harder to find thats all:)

[Zigzagz]

You can still recover, you're only 19. You can really do anything. Life is definitely not over for you