Think of it like this: He only has x amount of energy to spend on people, work, life, whatever. When his batteries are low he has no energy for that suff at all so he needs to recharge them and he does this by closing himself off until he feels his batteries are recharged. How long that takes depends on a lot of things, sometimes it may only be a day, sometimes it may be a few weeks or even months. It has absolutely NOTHING to do with you, that's the most important thing you should get out of this. If you keep bugging him about it while he's in "recharge" mode he's only going to be wasting the little energy he's managed to recharged to be nice and respectful to you to get the message across that he needs his alone time which means he's now lost even more juice and is going to take even longer to recharge his batteries. The best thing you can do is give him the space he needs and he'll come back to you when he's ready. If you're really missing him at this time just send him a text every now and then that has no purpose or expectation of him reaching back out to you. Examples: a good morning text wishing him a good day or a good night text, or just some random thinking of you xx. It's all about showing him that you're still there for him and thinking about him while you're out and about being busy with your own life (his distance also gives you a chance to catch up on other things in life so take advantage of it) with no expectations of him reaching back out to you until he feels ready.
I'm the same way, I can be a very outgoing and social guy, but I need to recharge my batteries every now and then just because. The worst thing you can possibly do is pressure him out of this recharge phase, he's just going to come back grumpy and annoyed or most likely he's just going to ignore you for much longer than he would have if you just respected his wishes.
I know it's weird and I don't even know why I need to do this, but it really is pretty much a necessity so you're either going to have to learn to put up with it and accept it or find someone else.
When girls feel bad, they need to TALK ABOUT IT. They can't help themselves - they can't deal with their emotions until they've shared them. That's normal for women.
When guys feel bad, they need to BE ALONE and mentally and emotionally process their feelings - and that only works if their minds are free from distractions and they can experience their feelings and vulnerabilities without other people seeing them. That's normal for men.
While we're all human, men and women are VERY different in a lot of ways, and our desires, attitudes, and behaviors reflect those differences and our very different roles in survival and reproduction over millions of years. Those differences are normal, and anyone who tells you (or suggests) that men and women should (or do) act or feel the same are lying to you.
Men and women are very COMPATIBLE - our strengths match with your weaknesses and vice versa, and we're stronger as a team - but we are definitely not the same.
There's nothing wrong with needing alone time, especially after a bad day. Not all guys are like this, some like to talk it out. But let him come to you and talk about it.
You can let him know that you are there for him if he does want to talk about it. But don't press him to talk about it. Let him make that choice on his own.
Some guys just aren't into talking about their feelings. Maybe something happened and he's worried you won't be proud of him anymore? Maybe he's embarrassed? There are so many reasons he could want to be alone at this time.
Just give him his space, he will come to you when he's ready :)
The simple answer is men and women think and behave very differently. We're taught that men shouldn't show emotions and women are "overly emotional." On top of that, biologically, our brains are wired differently. My boyfriend is also an introvert and tends to get very distant when he's stressed and I do tend to feel everything very deeply and always want to talk and help. He's also very independent so he never accepts my help. Don't take it personally. It's just the way he is. Let him have his space when he needs it
I do that too
When I am having a bad day, I need space to just cool off.
If someone crowds me, I feel I will end up scolding them or show attitude, so it's best that they not bother me until I come to them.
Also, I just like to be alone to clear my head; I can't do that in front of others... because of vulnerability.
This is something I heard that you should be able to do in front of your spouse/SO.
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I'm the same way. People need to brood and have time to be alone to destress
Sometimes people just need time to think and clear their mind without others around. sometimes we just don't feel like talking to others and just want to be by ourselves. It's nothing personal. Plus if your boyfriend is an introvert he probably feels really drained after a rough day and that time alone is kind of what he needs to recharge.
As an introvert myself I spend quite a lot of time alone. Sometimes I'm trying to figure something out and I can't really do that bouncing ideas off of other people or in a conversation with something totally related.
Though sometimes guys get irritated and we just don't want to snap at you if we just take time to cool down.
Men and women are almost opposite on this. The short answer is because he is a guy and that's how they deal with things. You are hurt because you expect him to act like a women, instead of a man. From a woman's point of view he should want to talk about it, so you feel hurt when he doesn't. From his point of view, wanting to be alone is just normal.
When I get home from work, whether it was a good or bad day, I normally don't want to talk, about anything. I don't want to "share" my day. The day is over, so I try as much as possible to leave it behind. Once I walk out that door of work, I'm done.
Well it's not just a guy thing. Most people need a little time to themselves from time to time. Introverts require that time to recharge, that is their nature. And that is essentially what introvert means. Whereas an extrovert recharges by engaging with other people introverts recharge by focusing internally on themselves. It's not a big deal at all do you shouldn't make it into one.
Because unlike most women we don't feel the need to talk about it and have support from others. I personally like to be alone, away from everything to clearly think and make decisions that I think is best for me, not what others think. Gotta relax and expell all the negative bullshit from my life.
Men need to be alone to chill out after work really. I do it everyday, I walk in silent and I just want to eat and relax. Also, introverts lose energy from being around others so if he does that at work all day, than he is drained. Let him be.
some men have issues when we are have a bad day. we get violent or cruel when I was young I took it out on anyone around me. if he warned you it was for your own good. give him the space he asks for
hi, i totally see what he's said, firstly out of interest, if youve had a bad day, how do you generally deal with that, such as, want to talk, help etc, how does it most often end up etc if you get my meaning with him xx
I feel the same way when I have a shit day, if I get really pissed is rather not risk saying something I don't mean and taking it out on anyone else, id rather be pissy and get over it on my own
Its not just men. Women also. I need my alone time when I have a bad day. I naturally enjoy my quiet time.
When one has a bad day at work, it can make one depressed or sad
he may lack energy cause of the work he does too . If you feel you want
a guy to be with more than i would recommend that would be the best choice. Myself i don't mind clingy girls.
Because the anger and the irrational thoughts are real, if someone comes close to me when I'm angry they will get my wrath, so we exclude ourselves so we don't put anyone in danger
alone time could be him watching tv and u in another room doing something else tho, women take it way too personally when we want to be alone. silence is just one of our favorite things ever
Alone time is perfectly normal especially for an introvert. Don't take it personally, just tell him know you're there for him if he needs you. He'll come around eventually, don't worry.
it's natural to want alone time. Sometimes people just wanna be left alone with their own thoughts. I don't think it's anything to be upset about, everyone has bad days, and everyone handles that differently.
danny mexico is right
introvert loose energy when out, other way around for extraverts
intro tend to be catpeople, extra tend to be dog lovers (not 100-0 though)
it's hard to understand if you are opposite
cause we want to protect the people around us from things we might do in that bad mood we´re in.
Personally I don't need time alone if I have a bad day, so not all men are like that.
This isn't "known" per se. We do know that males tend to withdraw and females tend to seek comfort externally but we do not know why these are behaviors. We have many theories on it.
guys are mad if they have a bad day so they need time to calm down. If you are very angry you don't want to be huged or kissed I guess
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