I'm falling in love with my boyfriend. Need help on telling him..

[Anonymous]

I'm falling in love with my boyfriend. I can tell that I am, and I'm getting extremely scared of rejection, but I feel this intensity to let him know, even though my actions (imo) already show it.

In my mind, I argue with myself, if he's going to accept that I'm falling in love with him already, and continue being with me or if he's going to run away and become scared (or something will change)

We've been together officially for 3 months. Dated for one month (exclusively, but not officially?) So I've known him 4 months. From a dating site.

I need help.

I wanna tell him, because for the last couple weeks, I've noticed that I'm truly falling in love with him. And it's not just the 'honey moon stage' because I see all of his quirks and we have had some minor issues, but the feeling is there and reality kicked in way early.

[Coleen]

Yeah. It is probably really hard to keep it inside. Try to do it any way, at least for a couple of more months. Maybe by then he will have told you first. I am going to say, YES - You are in the honeymoon stage too. There is nothing wrong with it. Everyone goes through it if they are seeing someone and they like each other. Enjoy it for now and have fun. I hope it all works out. If he doesn't feel the same, soon he will distance himself from you. If he does feel the same, he will say so. Also, he might not quite be there yet and if you tell him, he might feel awkward (either say it back when he isn't sure or not say it back -lol). I say wait a little longer.

[Asker]

good advice thanks1

[nemanameless]

I agree with what is said already -- why tell him, why not show him?

If you must, talk with him about what you both think it means to be in love and to love. That way you can discuss it and you both have to reveal little things about your feelings. You can back off and keep it hypothetical if you want and still feel uncertain during the conversation. It's better if you both take little risks at the same time. If you need to be vulnerable to rejection, be it together. You're both trying to find your way through unknown, scary lands.

[coffeeeadddict]

Rather than having to say that you love him, why not show him?

Make his favorite food, buy something you think he would like that you see in the store, spend time helping him on a chore, give him a big hug, tell him what you respect and adore about him, whatever you think he would appreciate most.

Let him say "I love you" first. Then you know he won't be just saying it because you did, you'll know he said it because he wants to.

Good luck!

[Distant]

If you're afraid, don't tell him. If you think there's a chance he may leave, don't tell him. People have such an obsession with TELLING their significant other that they "love" them. There's no reason to express yourself verbally, especially when there's doubt. Be happy with what you have and wait until you feel more secure in telling him.

[Asker]

Thank you so much!