I wrote down how her abandonment, lack of accountability about her own behavior, some things she showed and I saw of her impacted on me; call her out on her double standards and how she started reaching out to me, my aunt and my sisters just because she was deep in debt and needed financial help.
Thanks. I'm still thinking on it. On one side I believe she'd get upset but at also willing to explain some things. On the other I fear she'd pretend she didn't read it or refuse to talk about it. I don't fear anymore she'd go her usual "screw it" route and stop talking to me because I'm the only one of her children who still talks to her. My sisters either hate her or pretend she doesn't exists.
They are twenty pages written back and front, so about forty pages. Maybe it's wrong calling it a letter, but I had a lot of things I wanted to tell her.
Why did you need to write a letter to your mother? Is your mother a very bad person or you can't get along? What is your complaint? Why didn't you write a letter to your father?
My father just up and went away and pretends we don't exist. He's dead to me and I don't write letters to dead people.
With my mother I don't talk much and she's always avoidant when it comes to those kind of discussions and just refuses to talk or makes a scene. Her behavior alongside her costant abandoning of me and my sisters made sure I'm the only one of her children who still talks to her. I've also repeatedly lended her money and so did my aunt and my fiancée. I used to call her by her birth name and not mom, but since my fiancée has the same first name I call my fiancée with a diminutive while I call my mother by her full name.
In this take I wrote around the time I wrote down the letter I synthetize my grievances with her A letter to my mother ↗ Basically she mostly neglected us, and admitted to my aunt (her sister) that sometimes she hated me because growing up I started resembling my father in appearance. Plus a bunch of scathing comments and bad incidents over the years in some of the few moments she stuck around.
Only in the last year or so she really started to mellow out with me, especially because my sisters don't talk to her and ignore her calls.
I hope to upset her in the first place, because she should be. Then I hope she'd finally start offering some insights and the explaining I think she owes me and my sisters for her behavior over the years.
Well.. i would suggest.. you give her the letter.. because it will give a closure.. you seem to be very hurt and its important for the peace within your heart to come... but also let her know what she needs to do to make mends with you and your sisters.. explain it to her... don't assume.. that will be your mistake.. and one very important thing... learn to forgive.. i know its the hardest thing.. we all say I forgive.. but to actually forgive is whole another ball game.. it will give you peace.. and so much built up anger and hurt will fade.. and it will help some of your other relationships in life... Am I making sense?
There is an particular way to learn how to truly forgive.. if you want to learn.. i will be happy to share.. i want people to be happy.. one soul at a time :)
Read it over and think about it. Then re read it again. Then see if you can condense it into a shorter letter and make sure it sounds like you are just letting her know but aren't mad at her.
You need to try to call your mom and talk over what you said. If she doesn't pick up text her. You need to tell her that the letter you wrote was about this she did when you were younger that weren't helpful, and that you still love her anyways. And for goodness' sake, please don't kill yourself!
Why shouldn't u chose this.. mom is the best thing that god ever created... she's like a sleeping pill... if you are going through a hard time just give her a hug...
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What is written in the letter you wrote to your mother? If you wrote down your complaints about your mother, don't. Because you will upset him.
I wrote down how her abandonment, lack of accountability about her own behavior, some things she showed and I saw of her impacted on me; call her out on her double standards and how she started reaching out to me, my aunt and my sisters just because she was deep in debt and needed financial help.
Hmm... Ee, what did you decide? And drank those light but tasty soups? How have you been? Did you get well?
I'm still bedridden most of the day but I have started eating soups and Mellin baby food. Feeling slightly better.
Also lots of tea and light biscuits.
I happy for you. Anyways what did you decide? About the letter?
Thanks.
I'm still thinking on it.
On one side I believe she'd get upset but at also willing to explain some things.
On the other I fear she'd pretend she didn't read it or refuse to talk about it. I don't fear anymore she'd go her usual "screw it" route and stop talking to me because I'm the only one of her children who still talks to her. My sisters either hate her or pretend she doesn't exists.
Did you just do a project homework? What's this? How many pages of letters like that? 😂
They are twenty pages written back and front, so about forty pages.
Maybe it's wrong calling it a letter, but I had a lot of things I wanted to tell her.
Someone else already said it's an essay and not a proper letter.
I can't even write half a page letter. Good for you. Yes, it looks more like a student project homework than a letter.
Why did you need to write a letter to your mother? Is your mother a very bad person or you can't get along? What is your complaint? Why didn't you write a letter to your father?
My father just up and went away and pretends we don't exist. He's dead to me and I don't write letters to dead people.
With my mother I don't talk much and she's always avoidant when it comes to those kind of discussions and just refuses to talk or makes a scene. Her behavior alongside her costant abandoning of me and my sisters made sure I'm the only one of her children who still talks to her. I've also repeatedly lended her money and so did my aunt and my fiancée.
I used to call her by her birth name and not mom, but since my fiancée has the same first name I call my fiancée with a diminutive while I call my mother by her full name.
In this take I wrote around the time I wrote down the letter I synthetize my grievances with her A letter to my mother ↗
Basically she mostly neglected us, and admitted to my aunt (her sister) that sometimes she hated me because growing up I started resembling my father in appearance. Plus a bunch of scathing comments and bad incidents over the years in some of the few moments she stuck around.
Only in the last year or so she really started to mellow out with me, especially because my sisters don't talk to her and ignore her calls.
Ask your self... what is my outcome? And you will know the answer.. what do you hope to achieve?
I hope to upset her in the first place, because she should be.
Then I hope she'd finally start offering some insights and the explaining I think she owes me and my sisters for her behavior over the years.
Well.. i would suggest.. you give her the letter.. because it will give a closure.. you seem to be very hurt and its important for the peace within your heart to come... but also let her know what she needs to do to make mends with you and your sisters.. explain it to her... don't assume.. that will be your mistake.. and one very important thing... learn to forgive.. i know its the hardest thing.. we all say I forgive.. but to actually forgive is whole another ball game.. it will give you peace.. and so much built up anger and hurt will fade.. and it will help some of your other relationships in life... Am I making sense?
There is an particular way to learn how to truly forgive.. if you want to learn.. i will be happy to share.. i want people to be happy.. one soul at a time :)
Read it over and think about it. Then re read it again. Then see if you can condense it into a shorter letter and make sure it sounds like you are just letting her know but aren't mad at her.
You need to try to call your mom and talk over what you said. If she doesn't pick up text her. You need to tell her that the letter you wrote was about this she did when you were younger that weren't helpful, and that you still love her anyways. And for goodness' sake, please don't kill yourself!
I think you should give it her because you will always feel later on that you should've given her that letter
Hope You do give them to her ! You will feel so relieved almost like actually weight comes off your chest! ❤️
It won't make things better and may make them worse. Get rid of it.
Ask your grandma or grandpa to read it and give notes / suggestions /critique
20 pages is very long i don’t think she would read it to be honest maybe instead of giving her the letter try and talk to her in person
Why shouldn't u chose this.. mom is the best thing that god ever created... she's like a sleeping pill... if you are going through a hard time just give her a hug...
She wasn't the best thing for me.
She ignored and abandoned me for years and once I admitted she resented me.
Burn it.
Give her one part and test reaction
F*ck 'er. I'm on your side.
Talk to her dude.
GIVE IT TO HER