According to an Ok Cupid study, men are attracted to 70% of the women that they see, regardless of age, weight, number of children, marital status, education where as women find 80% of the men they see unattractive.
I’ve heard some men bring this up trying to boosts their egos but at the end of the day the truth is that most women are going to reject them and find them unnatrictive statistically speaking.
Why is their a false narrative that only girls in their early 20s are attractive, single mother are damaged goods, etc. If studies show otherwise?
You're missing the point of the lesson. Let me try to explain what this is trying to teach.
We start with the assumption that the majority of women are not 10s (Scarlett Johansson isn't going to suffer the effects of age nearly as much as the average woman, just as, say, Jane Seymore didn't - but a few exceptions don't invalidate the rule; they prove it), and we assume that MOST women want a husband and children. Obviously there are women who genuinely don't, and that's okay - it's just that, because they don't, they don't have to worry about any of this. We're talking about all the other women - the vast majority - who DO want a husband and children at some point, so they don't spend their later years alone.
Average SMV (Social Market Value) by age and sex
Both men and women have a Social (or sexual) Market Value: how the opposite sex perceives them as a potential partner. For the vast majority of men, their SMV starts out very low - FAR below that of women their age - and men must largely EARN their SMV, by developing themselves (their attitude and confidence), their bodies, their style, and their careers, because those are the things women use to judge a man's SMV. Women, on the other hand, start the game with very high SMV, because men value a woman's youth, beauty, and fertility, and those three things are largely given to young women automatically (some have to work harder than others to maintain them), and women get these things starting around high school age - right at the beginning of their dating years. Women's SMV is very closely tied to her natural fertility - a woman's natural fertility curve follows her SMV curve almost exactly.
They key, though, is WHAT WOMEN WANT. Women know that when they are ready to settle down and find a husband, that they want a fairly high-value man. In fact, if most women are honest with themselves, they want a man who is a Top 10% man (and some even higher, whether they realize that or not). Few women want an average man - a 50% guy. But therein lies the problem: there are huge numbers of women all competing for the Top 10% of men.
Even worse, those men know fully well that they are highly desired. They have women throwing themselves at them every day. And while such men will happily sleep with, and sometimes even DATE women, they're very selective at the women they are willing to MARRY. For the most part, the women they MARRY are going to be relatively young, have no kids, and have relatively few previous partners. And women who are older, or women who have a lot of previous partners, or women who have children, largely cannot compete with the women such high-value men choose. That's the cold, hard truth.
Does this mean that women who are older, or women who have a child, etc., cannot get ANY man? Of course not. That's never been the issue - the issue is that she cannot get the men she WANTS - the men she considers "viable." That's because most women largely dismiss and ignore the entire bottom 90% of men, because those men can't provide them an Instagram lifestyle.
Worst of all, women who have successful careers and high educations and life experience believe that those things RAISE their SMV - but it doesn't; often it's the opposite. Because men don't care about those things - men care about youth, beauty, and fertility, at least when it comes to potential wives.
Women who are willing to consider men further down the SMV scale are, of course, more likely to find a partner, but they're also less willing to be happy with such men - and a lot of men know that, so many men will date, even long-term, but aren't willing to marry, because of a woman decides she's no longer satisfied with her husband, it's far too easy for her to use the legal system to strip him of his resources and leave him financially (as well as emotionally) devastated.
This is why older women are increasingly finding themselves alone. Here's one of many articles written by older women who are just realizing that all of this is actually true, and it's actually affecting her life.
Than if it’s about fertility than men would technically be lower because the the older a man is the less their rate of fertility is so wouldn’t that make them really bad partners if the goal is to have kids. Or at least be attracted to someone and youth is a factor.
Also what are top 10% men? I personally feel like a lot of women care about beauty in men too but it’s not talked about much but most attractive men aren’t around as much as attractive women which is why you can see a lot of attractive women with not so attractive men or lower on your scale.
First, it's not MY scale. Second, women prioritize different things from men than men prioritize from women, and largely, women don't worry much about male fertility when choosing a partner. I'm not the one deciding what either men OR women care about - I'm just reporting what each side chooses.
Obviously if a man has a child, he's going to be ranked lower than a man without a child, just as with a woman. But a man who is wildly successful socially and financially can overcome that with most women, while women don't really have a way to compensate for having a child. Again, not my fault that women prioritize men's social status and resources (as well as looks) over other things - I'm just pointing out that they do.
Women looking for LONG-TERM success (i. e., a husband and family) are going to get the best deal if they marry in their mid-20s - probably to a guy between 5-10 years older. The longer a woman waits to "settle down", the less value she's going to bring to the market (because, remember, she's going to competing with younger women), and the less likely it is that she's going to get the kind of men that she wants. This doesn't mean she can't find ANY man - it means she'll increasingly have trouble finding the kind of man she WANTS.
The fine details will differ, but the core desires don't vary that much among the vast majority of women. Sure, there will be a handful of exceptions who are far outside the norm, but we're talking about the majority, and the web is full of articles, written by women, talking about what they want and how difficult it is for them to find it. It's really not hard to determine what most women want.
A lot of women also don't know what men want. They just think they do by simplifying everything, which yes works for the short term. But then it stops working because it's far more complicated than their simplification
As towards the fertility of men; first off men keep fertility for a far longer time than women. This is because women are just born with egg cells that age over time (and start working less well) while men just continuously produce seed cells. By the time a woman is 30, her egg cells will already have aged to a point where its far more likely for the baby to develop disorders. A man even to the age of 40/50, will still be able to produce perfectly healthy children.
To be fair that narrative is spoken by a rather small subset of people and as is usually the case holds some truth, without neccessarily being correct.
The truth it does hold is that most men if asked to build a partner probably would not make said ideal partner a divorced single mother and would be quite likely to make the partner a bit younger. Naturally not all but that would be the general trend. However when we come into magnitude this is typically not traits that are ranked as musts but simply "well if I had to choose I guess that would be better...". Compare with someone being rich. You might not actually care but if you are checking a box of rich yes/no most would still check the yes box. It doesn't make everyone else unattractive.
And lastly, the bit where men consider most women dating material and women consider only a minority of men worth dating is pretty well established. If you were to factor in both sides willingness to date people given their age at X you would likely see that men's relative value does increase as both sides age.
First of all don't buy into everything yiu read on okcupid as most of the people on that are fake, scammers, and a majority are little kids with their daddies account. I don't buy into these statistics. Age really is just a # i have dated guys my age (late 40's), younger than me (under 30) and older than me (under 61)
People's view on what beauty looks like varies from person to person. What one might classify ugly another may see a beautiful person. People will often judge others but they really just need to take a step back and see past what one calls "ugly" and see the true inner "beauty' :)
Men are generally more necessitous on the sexual market than women but they try to hide it by signaling string standards against older women, single mothers, divorced women, etc. In reality, the average and even above average men still tend to take whatever they can get.
You are partially correct. Age really does not matter because I have dated some HOT 70 year old women and I would again.
Most women that are HWP are not ugly, they may not be model material but they are not ugly either.
I have dated 2 women with kids and NEVER again, just way to much drama and you will never win on anything with those women when it comes to their brats. They will undermine your relationship at every turn and she will back them up no matter what. STAY AWAY FROM WOMEN WITH KIDS, unless it is just a hookup. They may be attractive but not worth the drams
So your arguing that because men see women as on average being average in attractiveness this means that they want to fuck all women? You have not paid attention to the data. Also women finding 80% of men unattractive should be a huge red flag for you, as its statistically impossible, that women have an over inflated sense of self worth (because they do).
As for women being damaged goods, if you have kids from multiple men, their are men who will absolutely still fuck you, that doesn't mean they are going to date you. If you are in your thirties because you partied your life away and fucked every guy you saw, guys will absolutely fuck you (if your easy), they are not going to settle down and start a life with you. Women are really insane if they think that a guy willing to stick their dick in them with no strings attached is the same as a guy being willing to tie himself financially to some one who is clearly such a huge risk. Oh well, you'll learn (the hard way sadly).
I'd rather date a single mother to see if she has a good maternal instinct and see how she treats her kid. I don't consider them "damaged goods" and I don't know where that idea came from. Also I have seen many women as old as 70 I thought were attractive. But I don't think I would ever be interested in dating a woman under thirty. Even when I was in my twenties I preferred to date women over 30 since they tend to make better lovers. Sometimes you have to beg a 20 year old to give you head but a 40 year old is more likely to beg you.
I think the statistics you cite are probably weighted toward younger people (who make up most of the dating population) and are perhaps not as valid for middle-aged people. I’ve seen very attractive women in their mid-30s and older, whether single moms or not, have difficulty finding a stable man to date. A small number get lucky, some date older men, and many settle. There are always plenty of guys around, but not always a guy who can be committed, stable, hard working, reasonably fit, non-addictive, etc. A lot of high-quality men in their 30s and especially their 40s write off single mothers immediately especially if they don’t already have their own kids.
They did this test on all groups of people and this is just for dating sites so it could vary. I haven’t found any studies about this outside of dating sites and etc yet
The dating sites provide some great data because they can look at revealed preferences based on actions vs. what people say in a survey. It would be interesting to have the results broken down by age group.
Some of the results where in it says that older men are more likely to focus on younger women that older women focusing on younger men on the dating platform
Another interesting study though that makes more sense to me is actually a Swedish on where it finds that on average as men and women age, their dating preferences age/mature along with them
the evidene that you presented did in no way say what you wanted to say. how does that fact that women rapidly lose their appeal in their early 30s boost male confidence?
of course older women still have success on the dating market, cause for every woman on a dating site, there's like 100 thirsty men with low standards. and if you have been on a dating site for a second, you'd know that by the quality of messages you get there.
the fact that women still find their male audience, does not proof that they are getting less attractive overall.
those statistics don't let you see anything about the quality of people they manage to attract. just the bare numbers. and quantity doesn't really say anything about quality.
I gotta call bs on the statistic, I think it's completely fabricated.
Most women I've seen on dating sites/apps I swipe left on, and a lot of times the ones I do find physically attarctive I won't date for one reason or another, be it having kids, wanting kids, being religous, not sharing my hobbies, being outside my country, etc. and I've talked to lots of women on those that I wouldn't date.
Some dating sites also dont notify non premium users that you like them, so you can swipe right to basicallly bookmark them and be like; "hey bro, see this girl? know anyone who looks similar but likes fighting games and doesn't have kids?"
Also nearly every guy I've talked to doesn't want step dad duty, should I believe them? or a graph made by someone with an agenda?
Statistics are a false narrative. None of this unjustified narrative brings truth towards any scope of human attraction or interaction. One of societies greatest leverages upon its paradyms is to twist verbage to mean other than its true actions. Apparently being caught up in political correctness , verbage greatly intensify's its self and disrupts or derails actions of constructive measures then diliberates one's action's to instead keep others lost in a false narrative through compartmentalizing others in whole.
Attractive for dudes means we'll fuck - that's just it - Attractive for women means I feel something towards this guy therefore I'll fuck and hopefully it's for long term - that's why we find most women attractive and women find most men unattractive - I'll fuck a sexy single mother why not? Just like the dude before me did - but she won't get anything more out of me..
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
It's true that men are attracted to most women, and women reject most men. That is how the species works. Men are (mostly) ready to breed with anyone. Women are (mostly) going to prevent genetically inferior specimens from breeding.
They only really compromise when their hormonal need for children overrides their preferences in physical attraction.
Well this study was only done for dating sites. I can’t find actually studies just saying how this happens in real life and what everyone finds attractive is subjective so even the people ranked attractive in the study might have been slightly disingenuous cause it was just a generalized statement of how a group of select men on the app thought where attractive/not attractive
That study shows women are FUCKABLE way past 20. It doesn't say they are attractive enough to get an attractive man to marry them. Key difference.
I fuck tons of girls 18 to 45 basically. My actual girlfriend is 18... i personally dont date women over about 22. Just sex. So yeah if i got on that dating site id message all the women too... but for casual sex only. Only the younger ones id really pay attention to our conversations because i actually care.
The study was about attraction, not about marriage or anything like that. Also why do men like younger women? Why don’t they just marry someone their own age like most women do because it doesn’t seem like someone significantly younger than you would even have much in common most likely cause y’all would be raised up in completely different periods of time
"Why is their a false narrative that only girls in their early 20s are attractive..." the narrative is more attractive. Younger women are far more attractive than older women.
"why do men like younger women?" A number of reasons some of which include, yes more attractive, more fertility window, less experienced in sex on average, sweeter personality, less baggage.
"it doesn’t seem like someone significantly younger than you would even have much in common" actually the opposite. Liking the same music is not important for a relationship. Both wanting to start a family at the same time is highly important. This is one of the main reasons an older man wants a younger woman and vice versa.
Men’s fertility doesn’t just stay the same though. If it’s about fertility than wouldn’t older men in their late 40s be lower on said social market thingy because they would have less fertility since men aged ≥ 35 years had fertility rates of 25% compared with fertility rates of 52% in men aged < 35 years, representing a 52% decrease in fertility rate.
If men up to say 50 are fertile and women up to 30 then take away the underage that leaves men 30 years and women 10 years. So 3x the amount of fertile men available. So lots of fertile men for few fertile women. Huge value on fertile women since they are rare based on the demand.
I’m saying that statistically the older tha man is the less likely he is to get a women pregnant. As fertility isn’t linked to age, health and genetics is what’s linked to fertility hence why women 35 and over are still very likely to conceive without difficulty.
If you have good genes than you’ll be able to get pregnant easier in general no matter your age but ofc if you have health problems that’s null in void and serious health problems usually occur later In adult hood for all genders since the health decline is also going to cause a decline in reproductive health in general.
Only Americans have this weird idea that fertility in women goes away quickly with old age when in reality it’s just health in general. That fucks in fertility in both men and women
You are mixing a bunch of things together. It is said that women are at the height of their attractiveness in their early 20s. But men in general are much less choosy about who they will date, partly because they get less offers then women. It is also said single mothers have mixed loyalties, are never going to put you first, need much more resources, are poor, have responsibilities, and may have been traumatised by their failed relationship. As such are poor choices to date.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Those "studies" do not show what you think they show. Its not a false narrative, it is entirely correct. No guy wants a single mother or an old woman, simple as that. The same way that no one wants to drive a Geo, Yugo, etc. But yet some people do because that is the market clearing equilibrium.
It’s not a false narrative. Men overwhelmingly are attracted to early 20s women. 22 is peak attractiveness. The real false narrative is that women are more intelligent than men. Your title proves that wrong without question. It’s ‘there’ not “their”. Do better, stupid.
Anyone can try to use graphs to justify their position. However i learned is statistics in university that graphs are only as good as how big the test group is justify the majority of the people.
There's a big difference between a woman being actually attractive, versus being an acceptable hole to dump a load. And single mothers are of absolute zero value for anything other than that.
Home > Relationships > Questions > Why is their a false narrative that only girls in their early 20s are attractive, single mother are damaged goods, etc. If studies show otherwise?
