Would you get rid of your pets if. . ?

Question

I have been dating her for 6 months and we are very happy together. She is allergic to cats. When she visits me at my home, I try to clean very thoroughly and the cats are usually isolated to one bedroom of the house. I can't keep doing that to Miss Kitty and Miss Ana, so I am looking for a good home for them. I love them dearly but I can't make them more important than my girlfriend.

What would you do?

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

It's unfortunate your girlfriend is allergic to cats, but who was in your life first? Her or the cats?

I'm having trouble with this one. I developed cat allergies late in my cat's life, but I didn't give him up for adoption. He simply became more of an indoor-outdoor cat. If your cats still have their claws, try this option.

And have your girlfriend start taking allergy medicine.

Who knows how long you'll have her as a girlfriend? You chose those cats as life companions, not simply as place holders until you got a girlfriend.

It's cruel of you to dump them for someone you don't know is going to be around in a year or two or three.

I speak from experience. I was developing a friendship with a nice guy who had four cats in his apartment. I'd visited him several times, then one time my eyes started watering and I began sneezing. I had to leave his place. As soon as I set foot outdoors, I stopped sneezing and my eyes dried out. It was the cats!

I apologized for my allergic reaction, but I couldn't ask this guy to give up his cats because of me. I know I wasn't a girlfriend, but he had FOUR cats he'd had a while. And they were NICE cats. I'd never presume to even ASK that of a person.

On the OTHER hand, I know this other nice guy who says he SLEEPS WITH HIS DOG. I like this guy. We might hit it off once he's fully vaccinated and we can manage to hang out some. But I'm never sleeping with a dog. So, I guess I won't sleep over at his house ever. And I suppose we'd have to have this discussion. Tommy, I don't mind your puppy sitting with you on the sofa while we watch movies, but the bedroom is off limits.

LIMITS are one thing. Ruling a pet out completely, something else entirely and it's pretty selfish unless you really didn't care about the animals in the first place.

Brainsbeforebeauty · Accepted Answer

Aww, that must be hard for you. But it's nice to see you put your woman first! My hubby was allergic to animal dander, so we never had pets. And I didn't have pets when we first got together so it's not a choice I had to make, but if I did, I would of made the same choice as you.

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

difficult, difficult... difficult.

My cat is younger, three years since she showed up just a kitten and we do have a very special bond, she was extremely wary of other people but she grew up to trust me and to even like me, and because of our bond she also became trusting around other people, even other pets.

I know she's street smart enough, so she could live on her own and get by if she were to end on the suburban streets, but... I just don't know how well could she adjust to other people, a new home, owners, etcétera. I don't think she would be willing to do that, so I could never bring myself to force her to do that.

In your case, the way you explained, I would not get rid of my cat, for me they would be as important as a new relationship of mine, so there would have to be a compromise in which I don't leave my cat... but this is not about me really. So I think I would suggest you to maybe try a temporary solution? maybe if you find a temporary home for the cats for a week or maybe two? and see how they react to it? how well they adjust to a new home and new owners? If they were to adjust well and it seemed like they're not going to be depressed or something like that, then I think you would be in a better position to make further decisions and considerations, at least more at ease. But if the cats don't deal that well with it, I guess it could make it harder to give them away, but that's something I would want to be aware of, before I take drastic measures.

Lliam · Accepted Answer

I'd have to be in your position to know what I would do. But I think of my cats as my children. They spent their entire lives with me and we have a bond. I love them and they have given me their complete trust. I don't break trust or bargains.
When I take on an animal, they are my charge for life.

At the same time, I can sympathize with your predicament. It's not as simple as cutting things off with your girlfriend and finding someone new. She is precious, too.

I suppose there are circumstances that would force someone to give up their cat (s). One could get disabled and be unable to care for them, for example. But my furry family members and I are such comforts to each other. I would be absolutely heart sick. I don't know if I would ever get over the guilt and loneliness.

Cynicaldreamer · Answer

Never!!! I'm very happy you found a lady you care about, but suppose you choose her over your cats, but things don't work out between you two.

Now you've lost your relationship and cats.

I would NEVER give away a pet because they're allergic. Nowadays there's plenty of medication to help with allergies, if she's willing to try them.

coachTanthony · Answer

Has she attempted to try medication? I personally am also allergic to cats and have not found any medication that helps. Some of the comments suggest it's as easy as popping a benedryl but it doesn't work that way.

It's a tough decision either way. Good luck in your decision.

Apple1996 · Answer

You could always make them mainly outside cats if you lived somewhere thats not too dangerous for them to run around outside

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I would choose the cats over the girlfriend.

slatyb · Answer

I'm highly allergic to cats. Simply removing the cats won't eliminate the problem. People are allergic to a protein in cat saliva, and it gets on EVERYTHING. It's in the carpet, upholstered furniture, drapes, rugs, bedding, etc. You will have to clean the carpet, any rugs, drapes, bedding. Depending on the severity of her allergy, you may have to replace any upholstered furniture, and possibly the mattress. Maybe it would be easier if you just went to her place? If it works out then you can move in together into a brand new place.

crazyish · Answer

It's not exactly the cat or their hair.. it's more than likely the dander and if they do go outside they often bring in pollen and other things that can cause allergies to flare up. If her allergies are severe, she should already be taking a daily antihistamine.

I have cat allergies, like bad allergic reactions, and I actually owned a cat. I took a daily allergy pill, washed my hands and just vacuumed/swept daily. Also we bathed the cat once or twice a week to get rid of dander. I would try some things and just see how her allergies are. Pets are family but I wouldn't want to be miserable having allergies either. But after a few weeks I didn't have an allergic reaction to my cat at all and it even slept with me.. think the regular bathing made a huge difference.

Oh and she might not just be allergic to cats.. so find out what else she's allergic to and see if it's anything that can be found inside your place.

musicbrain5 · Answer

It’s a difficult situation, for sure. Thankfully, it’s not a situation I have ever been in. To be honest, I would not give up my dogs for anyone. I have allergies myself, mostly seasonal but the dogs do get to me on occasion. I have not even given up the dogs for my own sake 😂. I’ve been taking daily antihistamines for years.

I guess in this case, there are so many factors to consider. For me, my dogs and I are a package deal and any guy who wants to stay around long term needs to accept that. Fortunately, I am married and my husband is as crazy about dogs as I am!

Morgooo · Answer

1. Has she checked to see if a simple over the counter allergy med relieves her allergies? 2. If there’s no getting around it and she’s truly allergic, it’s not like she’s doing it on purpose. I would totally get rid of the cats, though I would wait if you’re not engaged or living together.

MCheetah · Answer

I legit read this as "Would you get rid of your penis if?"

And no; I wouldn't get rid of my pets for some chick, even if I had any. What if she breaks up with you a week later? Only if she's serious about marriage and I had a close friend or family member willing to look after them would I even consider getting rid of them.

kidvid80 · Answer

there is give and take with any relationship, nothing will ever be 100 percent perfect with any two people, i would not get rid of them there has to be a compromise somehow, does she take anything for her allergies?

here is a link to things to try if she doesn't already take anything

Unbiased Best Medication For Cat Allergies In 2021 (allaboutcats. com)

loves2learn · Answer

Awwww. Poor kitties. My whole family is allergic to 4 legged creatures so we just don’t have any. My husband went through allergy desensitization shots simply because it’s hard for us to visit my parents and my friends with cats. Would she consider that? It’s covered by insurance. Just see an allergist once a week.

zoe2187 · Answer

I don’t know if I could get rid of any cats. I love cats!! I understand what you’re saying though. Have you tried washing them with a special shampoo to cut down on the cat dander. If cats are stressed they don’t clean themselves as often producing even more dander. Try changing their food and make sure they’re really healthy. That might help her allergies. You could ask her to take allergy meds. They are beautiful kittys.

Anonymous · Answer

That is literally so cruel. Cats are everything  Those cats are gonna think you abandoned them and will hate you. We don't deserve pets

Anonymous · Answer

Nah, pets are more important. I'm also allergic and rescued a kitten from a sewer. My eyes are red, I sneeze, but just because of my problem I can't leave that kitten to die.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

If I were her, I'd take Benadryl or Allegra or try anything else so you won't ever have to give up your cats who don't deserve to get & feel abandoned.

FatherJack · Answer

No never , sadly lost my weaselly girls , I would NEVER have got rid of my beloved ferret / 1/2 polecat pair , Miss Woolworth & Polefat. Looking at some more gorgeous fluffy Angora ferret kits. Keep your kitties , as there is never any guarantee of anything lasting anyway.

SaoirseS · Answer

The boyfriend would have to go. My pets were in my life before he was. I know my pets will still be with me until they die. I’ll never be sure about him.

Anonymous · Answer

well, if she really likes you. she should not react so bad towards your pet. any pet would be sad when you give them to somebody else especially when they big already. cats/dogs are like your child. they won't want to be with somebody else.. if you insist, they would run away from new owner and try to find you

Anonymous · Answer

My boyfriend and I are both allergic to my dog but I would never give her up. We just deal with it or take medication, which is super easy and simple. Please don't give up your furbabies for a lady 😔 if she's worth it, she'll be willing to at least try taking medication and not want you to just ditch then for her. And if she leaves you, you lose her and yout furbabies. Furbabies were there for you before her and will be if that lady leaves. Compromise!

cth96190 · Answer

The cats stay. The bitch goes. Real world, any woman who was not a fellow cat lover would not progress past the first date, or the initian conversation.

This_is_my_username · Answer

Keep the cats, and have Jane hit the road. Seriously speaking, the only time I would give my pet away is if I couldn't provide for them, but that's about it. You're trying your very best to accommodate her and many people are allergic to cats, yet they still make it work with people who have them. If she hasn't complained and you clean you're very best then.. all is golden. If she says choose... always choose your pets, haha!

CookiesAndCream2 · Answer

6 months? A thimble's worth of time.  Unless her allergies are terrible suggest for her to take an antihistamine pill before she visits & get yourself some good air purifiers. Very simple solution.

Dinklex3 · Answer

Sorry 🤷‍♀️
Not getting rid of my pets, lol. I'm not the type to take responsibility for living things and make commitments I can't honor. If they're allergic we can work around it, but I'm not getting rid of my pets whom I love and depend on me.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I think it's sad to have to give your pets away, my suggestion is to talk to the girlfriend about getting on allergy medication , there is bound to be a way she can take allergy shots or even medication by mouth?

Adam1978 · Answer

Nope I would simply meet up at her place. If I had cats they would be the same responsibility you have to kids. They go before any relationship. The woman needs to accept them as a part of my life.

graygirl · Answer

They make allergy medications for a reason. I hate to be so blunt but honestly I would never get rid of my cats for a person because when you adopt them you don't adopt them just to get rid of them because of the person or you want to move into a place and they don't accept cats or anything like that. When you get a cat if you are taking on a little furry life for 15 to 20 years and I don't see why she can't try to take a simple allergy medication that's over the counter so you can keep your cats. If she really cares about you she should at least give it a try in my opinion.

blondfrog · Answer

Tough call, but on a side note how does someone your age still find women your age attractive? lol I will never get that.

faye_girl · Answer

I'd probably get someone in my family to take them in. So i could still see them and if something goes wrong I can be like gimme my cats back 😆

Newhead · Answer

No, if you are allergic then it's a sign from the Gods that we are not meant to be. Would you get rid of your child because someone can't be around them, I think not. You can go, send in next applicant.

PaynefulPleasures · Answer

No way she new when you started your relationship, plus the cat's hair & dander would be on your clothes regardless how clean you are. So how severe is her allergies? Just my opinion ✌️

KaiserDeEmperana · Answer

I’d ask if we could set up some per houses in the yard wear I could feed them and have them be outdoor cats though I’m not much of a cat person I prefer dogs and like I spent my whole life around them owning them volunteering at shelters helping friends with theirs so if the girl didn’t like dogs/was allergic to them to an extent where I couldn’t just have them be mainly outside and groom them very well it’d just be a deal breaker in that sense it’s not that I particularly wouldn’t love her more than the dogs it’d just be well I probably wouldn’t love her in the first place if she wasn’t fine with dogs

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Wow! This means things are getting serious!

Would you like my honest opinion, sir? As your friend, I don't think that you should give up your pets arbitrarily for any woman (even if you truly believe that you are in love with her.)
I think you should ask her to make a concession on her part as well. I would feel more comfortable if she had some skin in the game.

Gabbledegak · Answer

Damn that's rough, how long have you had the cats? Are they family members? If you truly think this girl is the one then I would sacrifice, but any shred of doubt, any microscopic doubt cats stay.

invalid1 · Answer

Well let me put myself in your shoes and be honest. Okay I will do it, but I will expect her to be grateful, because pets is something we love. So she should understand.

1stranger · Answer

No, I wouldn't. It would be very difficult for me to leave them.

Agape93 · Answer

I wouldn’t in the least.  Maybe get a few good air purifiers?

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

Keep benadryl on hand.. I wouldn't give up my animals for a man thankfully I dont have to they are like my kids there's for me when everyone else leaves!

Neko911 · Answer

Whichever I had first stays. My cat ain't going anywhere. My partner wpuld have to learn to deal with that and we'd hang somewhere my cats aren't

Poppykate · Answer

I have a dog that is very important to me. The vet diagnosis her with PTSD after I became ill and had to leave her for a week to go into hospital. We are both working on her anxiety levels and it’s getting better. But she can’t be away from me for more than a few hours before her behaviour shifts up a gear. Some pets can have strong feelings... while others can be indifferent ( just as long as they are fed on time lol 😂)

lovelyhoneybones · Answer

Tell her to take allergy medicine. I have pretty bad allergies to cats and I have one, I just take a pill first thing in the morning and throughout the day if I need to.

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

I could never, I love my animals too much

friendzoned4life · Answer

Never , if you raised a pet especially cats and dogs. They will get depressed when you leave them to someone else

CreamySeed · Answer

Noooooooooooooo! You’re giving up the wrong pussy! 😞

Browneye57 · Answer

I would get a new girlfriend. Pets are more always important than some bimbo. LOL

Jacksoscar · Answer

Don't get rid of your cats. They will love you and be your best freinds as long as they live. What if it doesn't work out with your lady friend? Well you gave up your loyal companions and have nothing.

kevyhanma · Answer

Aww🥺 is your girlfriend that important because I would never choose a woman over my pet (family)

Ironic_Method · Answer

Never getting rid of my pets! We'll figure something else out.

exitseven · Answer

Find them a good home. If it doesn't work out with the girlfriend maybe you can get them back or else get two new cats.

Likes2drive · Answer

That’s a tough call, I would really have to know that she is the one in order to consider that, maybe you stay at her place more often instead or she can take allergy shots for the time being until you know if you’re really going to be with her for good

Minahh · Answer

I would never get rid of my pets especially cats. I'd love them too dearly. I couldn't date some who's allergic to them/doesn't like them.

Anonymous · Answer

Never in a million years would I give my pet away because of someone else’s allergies. My cat is my life. I’d never give her up for someone else.

princeofromance · Answer

No, I would never get rid of my cat. She is precious to me.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

There is no bitch, that can compete with this bitch

Aimée__LJ · Answer

Fuck the girl, pets are for life she can just live on antihistamines.

libsaretards · Answer

The girlfriend has to go. If she is meant for you then she can deal with the pets.

MrJMM · Answer

If she hated them I would kick my girlfriend out and put my attention to the cats for being disrespected.

Anonymous · Answer

Personally let’s shouldn’t just be disregarded. I’d have an issue with anyone who expected that. When you take on a pet you’re responsible for them, the good and the bad. They’re not a commodity.

Wiredone · Answer

There's medicine for pet allergies. I would never get rid of my furbabies.

Wise4myage · Answer

No, the girl would go before my cat would. I was abandoned by my father, so I would never do that to a pet.

Massageman · Answer

Do background checks on the family (ies) who get the cats. Good luck.

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