Boyfriend doesn’t want to marry a party girl, that a valid reason?

Question

Been together 7 years Waiting to get proposed (I have not been subtle about it) He said within the next two years. However, since coming out of lockdown, I’ve been going out,, getting drunk, which he hates This has been an issue previously but now, he’s states that it’s the reason he won’t propose. I don’t go out every week, maybe once every 2-3 weeks. I don’t want to stop going out because it’s my life and I hate when a guy tells me what to do I know he wants a girl who doesn’t go out and just do wholesome things. Am I wrong to think this is ridiculous? Should we just break up cause I feel like this will continue to be an issue going forward

Floppy2112 · Accepted Answer

Well, you clearly prioritize yourself and your good time, so why would he marry you? Your not serious about it, your not willing to work with a man so why should he marry you? What do you bring to him, besides sex and a hard time?
And I am absolutely certain, he cannot just go and do whatever he wants because of you, but you want to do whatever you want despite him...
You're a selfish broad. He shouldn't marry you. Why would he? The first fight you get in, you go out and get drunk with your friends and next thing your grinding some guy at a bar or club, to get back at him. I am pretty sure you've already cheated on him. And if not all the way, you have been kissing and flirting with other men.
Sorry, you have to make a choice. Either act like an adult and knock off that 'hot girl summer' crap, or lose him.
Then you can jump on as many dicks as you like and no guy will tell you what to do. And ten years from now, when you vaguely remember your sexual encounters for the quantity and nobody is approaching you anymore and you are past your prime, you'll maybe wish you were not so selfish.
To your boyfriend I say... RUN! Dude, run away from this chick as fast as you can and don't look back.
I sure hope you guys don't live together, like dumbasses, but if you do, he should throw your shit outside and change the locks next time you go out and get drunk.

Miristheiss · Accepted Answer

"Valid"

You say that as if there are rules. Any reason a person chooses to is valid because it is their life and they can do what they want and feel is best.
So using the word "valid" is a poor choice of words.

I agree 100% with his reasoning. Party girls are bad news and horrible life partners.
Getting drunk, clubbing, partying, hanging out in meat markets full of single people trying to meet and hook up. Going to where you know guys will be coming up to you all night, dancing with you, buying you drinks trying to get something going. Who cares if you turn them down. You chose to spend 3-4 hours surrounded by other men in a meat market getting talked to and hit on all night by other men. Gee, who wouldn't want THAT for his wife and special woman. Bye my love, I'm going out to get drunk and impair my decision making capabilities and spend the night surrounding my dudes hitting on me all night.

Only a fool would choose such a girl.

My only point of disagreement with him is... why is he still with you. Just break up and go find a woman who isn't a drunk, party girl putting herself in that situation all the time.

Why is he not proposing (EXTREMELY WISE CHOICE) but still acting as if he'll keep going out with you (IDIOTIC CHOICE).

SueShe · Accepted Answer

I understand your boyfriend because a girl that is known as a party girl may be viewed as not really serious.

Since you state that you get intoxicated, I do assume that you lose control of yourself and when people are intoxicated, they don't know what they do. That could lead to "activities" that are perhaps not in line with a person that seems decent when sober.

I personally would also be very reserved about dating a guy that is drunk and partying because it is so easy to get into situations that one normally would not when having a clear head.

Perhaps you should consider where your priorities lie and prioritize the one that predominates. It seems that partying is having the upper hand. Since your boyfriend is not so much a party person, I believe you would have a hard time as a couple.

pleasestopthis · Accepted Answer

Yes, you should break up because you want different things in life. He wants a girl who doesn't party, you want to party. There's no point in dragging a relationship that won't end up in something more anyways.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Why do you want to get married? How will that make your life better?

FilmGuy93 · Answer

That's absolutely a valid reason. I would personally find you going out to clubs to be a huge turn off too. It's your life and you can live however you want to live, but you going out to get drunk in a place where single people are out on the prowl is advertising, whether you do anything about it or not.

Let me put it to you like this: you're going to those places to blow off steam, right? Why would someone who is actually ready to settle down in life, intentionally escape their life to a place where people are going wild, acting out, and behaving badly, if they actually wanted to settle down?

So I guess from your boyfriend's perspective; I kinda get it. You're going out to places that aren't conducive to a monogamous lifestyle. You're doing it with regularity too (although once every 2-3 weeks isn't crazy) and your immediate response to his concern is "stop trying to control me." Just based on what you've put here, you don't seem like you're ready to settle down at all. Your boyfriend's not even trying to control you, he's literally asking you to not do this one thing that involves you going out on the town and making a mess of yourself once or twice a month.

Browneye57 · Answer

Well, he has a point, don't you think? You're not really quite ready to be a mature adult. I'd wait too.
So either shape up or ship out. If you don't like your man then next him and find one you do.
And yeah, after the drunken partying comes the hooking up with random guys, just because it's 'fun'.

poolsnd · Answer

My guess is it’s about limits and self control. To him it seems like you don’t have that which may cause him to be unsure. Think about it hit his way: imagine him going out every few weeks getting shit faced with the guys coming back home to you. How would that make you feel of him as a father/husband/future partner? It might be fun and fine now but in the long term it may seem different. That being said if it’s not that often and it’s to let off some steam, it kinda seems like emotional manipulation. “I’m not gonna propose unless you…” is not something anyone would like to hear. Compromise is fair not hurtful. Have an open discussion talk freely with reason try to understand eachother and avoid hurting words. That might be the best stepping stone.

boggboss · Answer

You are not wrong it thinking its ridicules but he is equally not wrong for doing it if that's what he wants from a wife he is allowed to want that people get caught up in right or wrong and don't realise when it comes to relationships u can want and go for pretty much what u choose within legal boundaries

exitseven · Answer

If you are getting drunk and having sex with other guys I would be pissed too. If you are just hanging out with friends and having a few drinks I think he is being too controlling.

Anonymous · Answer

That was exactly my situation.
She wanted to get married, but she was always out drinking and doing who knows what with single people.
I told her I didn't want to have kids with a person who drinks. I watched my mother deal with my father's drinking and wait up for him when I was a kid.
They would scream and yell at each other. I didn't want that life.
She agreed to quit drinking.

HaveNoName · Answer

Ok. Of he does not approve of it and that is going to stop from getting married, why is he with you then? There is not reason to drag this. It is good that this came up before you guys got into a marriage.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Going out to party 3 times a week plus getting drunk isn't wifey material.

I understand you are young and desire to party which is normal but tone it down to partying once a week like on the weekend and don't get drunk.

Anonymous · Answer

You're still relatively young. He's going to have to wait for you to get bored of that life (and you might), or find someone more attuned to his sensibilities.
You're both at different stages of your life it seems. No shame in that.

Dragonrider88 · Answer

Marriage is a big commitment. I mean I wouldn't want to be tied down to a guy that drinks heavily and hooks up with randoms

Dchrls78104 · Answer

I feel sorry for this man, that he has gotten involved with a girl who simultaneously wants to get married and live a single girl's life.

Wise4myage · Answer

He's ridiculous and full of crap. He could have asked you to marry him during the lock down when you weren't going out.

Anonymous · Answer

So its more important to u to go out and drink than to get married? Yeah... it really says something. He wants a mom to his kids that will b responsible so I see where he's comin from

Anonymous · Answer

Your boyfriend is a big and hypocritical baby. Dump him.

cloudspy · Answer

Yes, I think it's a valid reason.

Anonymous · Answer

you're not marriage material far from it. you're not wife material at all

noohair · Answer

Don't waste any more time. He is not your type.

Julious0202 · Answer

Sorry for my ignorance but what is party girl?

CuriousAZ · Answer

Stop it

Boyfriend doesn’t want to marry a party girl, that a valid reason?

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Boyfriend doesn’t want to marry a party girl, that a valid reason?

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