Do you want your SO to have a similar career to you?

Question

I ask because my partner and I went to my coworker's house for dinner last night, and she was the only one there that doesn't have a job anywhere near our field.

Of course work came up and she had no idea what we were taking about. But the same thing happens when we go out with her work friends also.

So, does it matter to you if your SO has a similar career as you? Or do you prefer them to have a different career altogether?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Simple, a different career altogether.

As we are ordinary humans, we are prone to jealousy more than we are prone to good feeling towards anyone. So that is a point. I am not married, but I have seen such similar cases, that is why I am writing the point here.

Second point is, the timing. Suppose you are a couple. And let us suppose both of you are engineers or doctors. Then who will be there to give attention to the house? Or to children? Both the parents will be having more or less same schedule, so this point is also important. I request to not apply work from home here. We are talking about normal conditions.

I know that doctors prefer doctors, engineers prefer engineers and other such things.
Positive points are also there. But the points I mentioned probably can break a relationship from the core.

People have grown old while maintaining their work-life balance, and you want to create a subset in your private life too. Not sarcastically, but seriously. Do you?

In short the administration of the house can become tough unless one of the two is ready to back down a little. Successful planning can also be done, but you decide based on your job...

HighlyVolatile · Accepted Answer

I find I get along best with opposites mostly in the Arts and Humanities (I'm a STEM type). My wife's a literature major, for example.

I think I'm fundamentally more of an Arts and Humanities type of person though as far as my passions go. I just work as a software engineer since I excelled in computer science, but I was also a double major in visual arts and my passion lies more in the arts.

I have a problem getting along with other software engineers in my field, especially since my field (computer graphics R&D) tends to invite the most academic types. They're usually very dry and pedantic for my tastes. I prefer to communicate imprecisely with a heavy dose of figurative language since I'm more interested in understanding and achieving beauty than the technical aspects of a medium (ex: lines of code).

I tend to get along far better with marketing and especially designers; designers speak my language. I understand engineers but I speak and think much more like a designer.

WonderBell99 · Accepted Answer

No, one of my aunts is a software engineer and her husband is a surgeon. They’ve been married for over 15 years now. I don’t think in a relationship, having a similar career matters as long as both are spending quality time together.

I’m planning to apply to a couple of med schools this year, if i do get in and hopefully become a doctor, I wouldn’t mind if my SO wasn’t in healthcare.. in fact, it would be preferable if they worked in a different field because growing up, with two parents as surgeons, they were never around much. They were always working - both of them used to do tons of surgeries. My dad still does, but my mum has stopped doing surgeries because of health issues. I’d like it if my future husband and I spent quality time with our kids.

WhatTheHeckkkk · Accepted Answer

No, not necessarily. I wouldn’t mind if my partner was working in the same field though. I just think it’s more interesting if they have a different career.

Our careers are VERY different from each other, and when talking about our careers to others, we can’t really contribute to the conversation because we are clueless as to what is being talked about lol. It’s okay though, because it’s always fun to learn the new things about their career.

He works as an avionics technician, I work as a caregiver, planning to be a preschool teacher… Obviously, very different careers, very different work settings.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

My job is writing so I would be happy either with a liberal arts guy who does writing or a professor or a STEM guy who is good at fixing washing machines or even a guy who works as a janitor.

PrettyPriya · Answer

Hmm... depends on the definition of similar I suppose. I work in the same general field as my SO. Healthcare. While we work in different ends of that field, I guess it is similar.

It is the same enough that we understand our careers and jobs probably more than most would, I suspect. I work in a doctor's office (non-medical role) and he works as a consultant to pharmaceutical companies.

So, really not that same but both medical. After asking him, he says that he would say I understand his job better than he understands mine. I have, of course, disagreed. Mine is a lot of ordering medical supplies and inventory.

While he doesn't do that, he does deal with logistics. I would say in that respect, we have a lot of common knowledge.

HawkPerception · Answer

My S/Os field doesn't matter at all to me. If they have a similar career then great. Maybe we can share how our day went and talk all the jargon we want because we know they'll get it. But having different careers can also teach you a lot about another field and add to your life in that sense.

The only similarities that matter to me are similar views, interests (not career related interests), life goals (where we want to end up 20 years from now), sense of humor and sense of understanding (ability to get your partner just by looking at them).

NathanDavis · Answer

I have never had a preference for this, and by experience... and chance, my first two relationships happened during school time so I guess we had that background in common, later in life my partners were not working on the same field I was
and in my case it didn't matter much or it was not an issue, I'm sure I can do it both ways

lilyanony1 · Answer

I'd have loved to have achieved more in my life.
I wanted to progress in my career but the people in the field I work in are incredibly hostile.
Whereever people make money lots of money it comes with a certain level of disrespect.
I don't go to work for that.
I go to do my job and come home.
I'd hate for my partner to endure or be the oppressor in my industry.

As long as they earn a "salary" that's good enough for me!

NZGirl07 · Answer

My sister and her husband are both lawyers, and this prevented them from getting a career opportunity at the same court because they were married. I think having different careers is nice as you can both learn new things from the other, but if you have the same career I'm sure it can work too as it works for my sister.

Apulu_Imback · Answer

It will be great if he wants to have or have similar career like me in future! That's a plus point actually because I have a thing for writers and those who can play any instrument (especially piano which I play) or sing. For me my future career is being a writer and musician.

Emiliamazing · Answer

My husband and I have both completely different career paths. He is more involved in agriculture and science side of the workforce and I am on the legal side. We’ve always thought that it makes for interesting conversation because we all don’t talk about the same monotonous happenings when we’re together with friends. We both have fun stories as you our friends.

Anonymous · Answer

Doesn't matter to me. My boyfriend works in a completely different field, and it's actually nice. He has learned more about my world and I've learned more about his. And just because he's in a different field, he still gives good advice about how to handle things.

Anonymous · Answer

I imagine it could be nice to be able to really relate to someone about your job---the highs and lows, the stresses, the triumphs, but I could also see how that could be annoying especially if you work together or are in competing organizations. I'd say it depends on the person and you're relationship whether that's something you really want but I don't think people specifically go, oh s/he works in my same field, I don't want to date them, because love/like just happens.

AviatorTom · Answer

My 20-year marriage was with a woman who had a technical career similar to mine, until she switched to teaching. I've dated women with totally different careers from mine. It really doesn't matter.

DonkeyDan · Answer

It doesn't matter to me, but I do tend to go for women in a similar fireld to me, or at the very least science based career. The only thing that is important to me is that she is on the same intellectual level.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

She was a coworker but didn't have any idea what you and your partner were talking about? I would think that if she was a coworker, she would have a line of work somewhat similar.

Anyway, just curious.

But to answer your question, I don't think that it is that important for someone to have a career similar to mine. Just that they make an attempt to understand it.

CurlyGirl42 · Answer

As long as I don't work with them or in the same building/company, then I really don't care. I definitely also prefer to have something in commen besides work topics. My job is not my life and I rather focus on other things for most part of my free time.

Xtendable · Answer

There are pros and cons to each scenario. I’m glad that my girlfriend has a different career though. It keeps out personal lives interesting so that we’re not experiencing the same thing

dustybiker · Answer

Makes it more interesting if everyone has different jobs. Probably kinder when conversations come up, people don’t feel left out. On the flip it’s also comforting to have people who understand.

SaoirseS · Answer

I wouldn't mind it, but my new husband wants no part of the funeral home business other than living here with me.

Djaay · Answer

It doesn't matter what orhers carreers are. Can be interesting to listen to tho. If everyone did the same thing there would'nt be anything to talk about and just how boring that would be. Segregating others for things they do contrary to yourself is biased and inconsiderate as well as disrespectfull not to mention a few other displeasing reasons.

snowboarder720 · Answer

No. There can be a lot of ethical concerns with that. Especially if they work for the supplier.

melanieeeB · Answer

Hell no lmao I can't listen to my branch related topics after work

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