Do you want your SO to have a similar career to you?

Question

I ask because my partner and I went to my coworker's house for dinner last night, and she was the only one there that doesn't have a job anywhere near our field.

Of course work came up and she had no idea what we were taking about. But the same thing happens when we go out with her work friends also.

So, does it matter to you if your SO has a similar career as you? Or do you prefer them to have a different career altogether?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Simple, a different career altogether.

As we are ordinary humans, we are prone to jealousy more than we are prone to good feeling towards anyone. So that is a point. I am not married, but I have seen such similar cases, that is why I am writing the point here.

Second point is, the timing. Suppose you are a couple. And let us suppose both of you are engineers or doctors. Then who will be there to give attention to the house? Or to children? Both the parents will be having more or less same schedule, so this point is also important. I request to not apply work from home here. We are talking about normal conditions.

I know that doctors prefer doctors, engineers prefer engineers and other such things.
Positive points are also there. But the points I mentioned probably can break a relationship from the core.

People have grown old while maintaining their work-life balance, and you want to create a subset in your private life too. Not sarcastically, but seriously. Do you?

In short the administration of the house can become tough unless one of the two is ready to back down a little. Successful planning can also be done, but you decide based on your job...

HighlyVolatile · Accepted Answer

I find I get along best with opposites mostly in the Arts and Humanities (I'm a STEM type). My wife's a literature major, for example.

I think I'm fundamentally more of an Arts and Humanities type of person though as far as my passions go. I just work as a software engineer since I excelled in computer science, but I was also a double major in visual arts and my passion lies more in the arts.

I have a problem getting along with other software engineers in my field, especially since my field (computer graphics R&D) tends to invite the most academic types. They're usually very dry and pedantic for my tastes. I prefer to communicate imprecisely with a heavy dose of figurative language since I'm more interested in understanding and achieving beauty than the technical aspects of a medium (ex: lines of code).

I tend to get along far better with marketing and especially designers; designers speak my language. I understand engineers but I speak and think much more like a designer.

WonderBell99 · Accepted Answer

No, one of my aunts is a software engineer and her husband is a surgeon. They’ve been married for over 15 years now. I don’t think in a relationship, having a similar career matters as long as both are spending quality time together.

I’m planning to apply to a couple of med schools this year, if i do get in and hopefully become a doctor, I wouldn’t mind if my SO wasn’t in healthcare.. in fact, it would be preferable if they worked in a different field because growing up, with two parents as surgeons, they were never around much. They were always working - both of them used to do tons of surgeries. My dad still does, but my mum has stopped doing surgeries because of health issues. I’d like it if my future husband and I spent quality time with our kids.

WhatTheHeckkkk · Accepted Answer

No, not necessarily. I wouldn’t mind if my partner was working in the same field though. I just think it’s more interesting if they have a different career.

Our careers are VERY different from each other, and when talking about our careers to others, we can’t really contribute to the conversation because we are clueless as to what is being talked about lol. It’s okay though, because it’s always fun to learn the new things about their career.

He works as an avionics technician, I work as a caregiver, planning to be a preschool teacher… Obviously, very different careers, very different work settings.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

My job is writing so I would be happy either with a liberal arts guy who does writing or a professor or a STEM guy who is good at fixing washing machines or even a guy who works as a janitor.

HawkPerception · Answer

My S/Os field doesn't matter at all to me. If they have a similar career then great. Maybe we can share how our day went and talk all the jargon we want because we know they'll get it. But having different careers can also teach you a lot about another field and add to your life in that sense.

The only similarities that matter to me are similar views, interests (not career related interests), life goals (where we want to end up 20 years from now), sense of humor and sense of understanding (ability to get your partner just by looking at them).

PrettyPriya · Answer

Hmm... depends on the definition of similar I suppose. I work in the same general field as my SO. Healthcare. While we work in different ends of that field, I guess it is similar.

It is the same enough that we understand our careers and jobs probably more than most would, I suspect. I work in a doctor's office (non-medical role) and he works as a consultant to pharmaceutical companies.

So, really not that same but both medical. After asking him, he says that he would say I understand his job better than he understands mine. I have, of course, disagreed. Mine is a lot of ordering medical supplies and inventory.

While he doesn't do that, he does deal with logistics. I would say in that respect, we have a lot of common knowledge.

NathanDavis · Answer

I have never had a preference for this, and by experience... and chance, my first two relationships happened during school time so I guess we had that background in common, later in life my partners were not working on the same field I was
and in my case it didn't matter much or it was not an issue, I'm sure I can do it both ways

lilyanony1 · Answer

I'd have loved to have achieved more in my life.
I wanted to progress in my career but the people in the field I work in are incredibly hostile.
Whereever people make money lots of money it comes with a certain level of disrespect.
I don't go to work for that.
I go to do my job and come home.
I'd hate for my partner to endure or be the oppressor in my industry.

As long as they earn a "salary" that's good enough for me!

NZGirl07 · Answer

My sister and her husband are both lawyers, and this prevented them from getting a career opportunity at the same court because they were married. I think having different careers is nice as you can both learn new things from the other, but if you have the same career I'm sure it can work too as it works for my sister.

Apulu_Imback · Answer

It will be great if he wants to have or have similar career like me in future! That's a plus point actually because I have a thing for writers and those who can play any instrument (especially piano which I play) or sing. For me my future career is being a writer and musician.

Emiliamazing · Answer

My husband and I have both completely different career paths. He is more involved in agriculture and science side of the workforce and I am on the legal side. We’ve always thought that it makes for interesting conversation because we all don’t talk about the same monotonous happenings when we’re together with friends. We both have fun stories as you our friends.

Anonymous · Answer

Doesn't matter to me. My boyfriend works in a completely different field, and it's actually nice. He has learned more about my world and I've learned more about his. And just because he's in a different field, he still gives good advice about how to handle things.

Anonymous · Answer

I imagine it could be nice to be able to really relate to someone about your job---the highs and lows, the stresses, the triumphs, but I could also see how that could be annoying especially if you work together or are in competing organizations. I'd say it depends on the person and you're relationship whether that's something you really want but I don't think people specifically go, oh s/he works in my same field, I don't want to date them, because love/like just happens.

AviatorTom · Answer

My 20-year marriage was with a woman who had a technical career similar to mine, until she switched to teaching. I've dated women with totally different careers from mine. It really doesn't matter.

DonkeyDan · Answer

It doesn't matter to me, but I do tend to go for women in a similar fireld to me, or at the very least science based career. The only thing that is important to me is that she is on the same intellectual level.

ArrowheadSW · Answer

She was a coworker but didn't have any idea what you and your partner were talking about? I would think that if she was a coworker, she would have a line of work somewhat similar.

Anyway, just curious.

But to answer your question, I don't think that it is that important for someone to have a career similar to mine. Just that they make an attempt to understand it.

CurlyGirl42 · Answer

As long as I don't work with them or in the same building/company, then I really don't care. I definitely also prefer to have something in commen besides work topics. My job is not my life and I rather focus on other things for most part of my free time.

Xtendable · Answer

There are pros and cons to each scenario. I’m glad that my girlfriend has a different career though. It keeps out personal lives interesting so that we’re not experiencing the same thing

dustybiker · Answer

Makes it more interesting if everyone has different jobs. Probably kinder when conversations come up, people don’t feel left out. On the flip it’s also comforting to have people who understand.

SaoirseS · Answer

I wouldn't mind it, but my new husband wants no part of the funeral home business other than living here with me.

Djaay · Answer

It doesn't matter what orhers carreers are. Can be interesting to listen to tho. If everyone did the same thing there would'nt be anything to talk about and just how boring that would be. Segregating others for things they do contrary to yourself is biased and inconsiderate as well as disrespectfull not to mention a few other displeasing reasons.

snowboarder720 · Answer

No. There can be a lot of ethical concerns with that. Especially if they work for the supplier.

melanieeeB · Answer

Hell no lmao I can't listen to my branch related topics after work

Adam1978 · Answer

Always good with synergies but no I would prefer if she has another set of skills than mine.

Dinklex3 · Answer

Majority of people i date are medical, but i have no preference.

Gloree · Answer

I will prefer that the careers be different. It allows for us to somehow learn from each other. I mean, it creates more interest and diversity or variety or spice.

ShyGuy303 · Answer

Nah Every batman needs an Alfred in other words while I’m out here fighting for our survival someone needs to be cleaning the crib, washing my boxers, and cooking what’s the point in us both slaving 9-5 she shouldn’t even be thinking about a career path

Anonymous · Answer

No that would be boring in my opinion. Plus I’d feel like we would never have our own life aside from our own little bubble because we would just never be able to just escape from each other if that makes any sense? I’d want us both to have separate careers and separate things to do whenever we’re not with each other.

hahahmm · Answer

Men & women aren't the same. Women typically want & need more emotional support. So imagine if you both have a stressful job... not only do you have your stress but she will expect you to shoulder some of hers. It's a bad combo.

sheikalana · Answer

Not at all but I want him to be as successful as me.

exitseven · Answer

No, she is in healthcare and I work in education and IT.

Prettygurl12 · Answer

It's not necessary.  I'm a cop. My husband is an attorney. He doesn't like criminal law, though. He does trust and estate planning.  So our careers are very different.

musicbrain5 · Answer

It doesn't matter to me. However, my husband and I are both teachers, but we don’t work together. I would not want to work at the same location together.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I don't mind same field, but I'd rather he's not in the same career.

libsaretards · Answer

No. Truthfully I would prefer her to have a different career. Having 2 cops as parents significantly increases the chances of a child becoming an orphan. I would like for her to be military, something medical, an attorney or a teacher.

KatherineJ · Answer

My husband has a career that is vastly different from mine. I didn’t marry his job, I married him.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Oh god no. I want to marry an engineer or virgin porn star librarian or something. Not another Lawyer.

Kaamraj · Answer

Absolutely not. I dont want to face compitition in the work place and come home to more compitition. A home is a man's castle, where he comes to relax and feel protected.

Twalli · Answer

As long as we don't work in the same place I don't care too much

dolemite89 · Answer

no i don’t care what a girl does for work as long as it’s not a porn star or something lol

MTC29 · Answer

Different career... please!

JustinTheGreat · Answer

I’m a server and bartender and my husband works at a warehouse where he packages and ships parts. When he talks about work I have zero idea what he’s talking about but It doesn’t bother me lol

bean2k21 · Answer

Usually her career is working for me in some form or fashion. Cleaning up my crap, raising my kid, babysitting, housecleaning. Would I date someone in my field? No. What could she possibly do for me?

Raphaëlle · Answer

I guess it's something you could have in common with your so but not necessarily. I like that partners have different careers and different interests but still fit together somehow.

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

I am glad that my girlfriend and I have different jobs/careers because it brings different veiws of people and the world from a job standpoint.

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

I want them to have a career that is rewarding and engaging to them. Doesn't have to be my field. If they enjoy what they do, I'm happy.

BraveRiver · Answer

I’m so happy my wife isn’t in my industry… I talk shop 80hrs a week. When I’m home Incan turn it off, if she was in the industry it would literally NEVER end.

We don’t live to work, we work to live.

RSav4013 · Answer

Honestly it really wouldn't matter to me either way, as long as we didn't work in the same office or for the same company.

penteractgaming · Answer

As long as we can have mitual conversations and have mutual understanding, I dont really care what they do. That said, there is a higher chance of tgat if they work in a STEM job.

nice-girl · Answer

No it does't matter to me. I could use some career advice sometimes, but it's not so important.

Anonymous · Answer

Being self-wmemployed probably not, having a useable credit rating might be worth something

Anonymous · Answer

No. I'm a lawyer, but I'd like to have a housewife, at least after the kids are born.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Prefer jobless. Then we never talk about work and home can be a truly safe and relaxing place. I don't know how y'all talk shop in the home. Id go fucking crazy.

SmokinAces2000 · Answer

I don’t care, I’m studying criminal justice and stocks and my girlfriend is studying English, I plan on becoming a lawyer and she plans on becoming a teacher

OddBeMe · Answer

No, actually this is the 70-30 ratio I think is apt. Couples should have only 70% in common. And different fields would be a good thing to keep separate. Although some romances start at work.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I'd want me and my future wife to run a home business together.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I would prefer if they didn't a woman wouldn't be happy doing my kind of work.

Massageman · Answer

No- she can't give a massage longer than about 5 minutes.

SunnyCaliGirl · Answer

NO I would prefer to have separate paths doing something we both enjoy doing though

kinggeorge007 · Answer

Kinda yes, at least someone who can understand the nature of my job

LordOfThePines · Answer

If that is what she wants to do, certainly. She's smart enough to do whatever it is she wants to do in life.

Iron_Man · Answer

No she can do whatever she wants as long as it’s good moral values

ImNoOne111 · Answer

Not really. As long as we dont work in the same place Im fine with it

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