Upon discovering my boyfriend's infidelity, I was struck by an indescribable pain. You know, the trust we had built shattered, leaving me lost and unsure of what to do. And he never offered an apology for his actions, leaving me with a difficult decision to make. We've been together for almost a year by the way.
So, should I confront him about his infidelity and demand an apology, or should I simply walk away from a love tainted by betrayal?
Well I cannot tell you what to do I know for me what I would do I would have to walk away.
First thing is he had a moment right before he did anything that moment was he thought of you and said is it worth it. He new right from wrong.. and he went the way he did... then how many times did it happen
And how many times right after it happened he went home to you and acted as if nothing had happen hugging you kissing you now maybe playing you and her. That lie right there is almost worse that the cheating..
Your only into this for about a year. Will there be a next time
And if you demand an apology that means nothing that means you're forcing him into it on something that he should have already done on his own so if you force him into it it's going to be fake it's not going to be real coming from him it's going to be coming from you I would walk away personally and believe me it's one of the best things you could ever do and things always work out
When you get somebody new in our lives they make us feel a certain way
The key words make us feel a certain way we feel a certain thing we do as in self
We feel it because it came from us we're the only person in the inside of us we are the only person that can make us feel things good or bad we already have all those feelings inside of us they just gave us a new experience to open up that door to let those feelings out what I'm trying to say is when people break up they always say oh they made me feel like this they made me feel like that no you made yourself feel like that because you're the only person on the inside of you that can make you feel anything
And then the reason why you have that hurt that pain is because that person is now gone and they're not going to open up any more of those doors for you to allow you to feel or to experience that pleasure that happiness that smile but you have to remember you were the only one that can do that because you were the only person on the inside of you
Do yourself a favor go get a puppy watch that puppy will open up those same doors and allow you to feel the same pleasures the same excitement
Go hold the baby they will do the same thing go do something nice for somebody it will do the same thing because you're the only person on the inside of you it'll allow yourself to feel all these beautiful things and the sadness too
Imagine that there is a relationship ladder... that goes from less valuable to more valuable WHEN you are with the right person. The bottom of this ladder would be boyfriend/girlfriend. The next step up would be fiance. The next step would be spouse. There is zero point staying with someone who does not look very likely to be able to earn the next level up. Yes, I realize that millions and millions of people don't get this and they believe there is value in having an endless number of relationships on the lowest level, training their minds to believe it is normal. Training themselves to accept mediocre. Training themselves to keep chasing people who are only good enough to leave them for better or cheat on them.
When you value yourself the right way... and/or realize the importance of being high value yourself, you will see the foolishness of staying with people who aren't trying or who just can't cut it. You will focus on goals... like an athlete training to win a medal focuses on that instead of being content eating fast food and couch surfing. So then what do you WANT to do? Do you want to end up like the majority of people who stay with mediocre people and keep expectations low? Or do you want to end up like the few people who win those medals?
You could demand an apology and walk away. But that's if you feel like you need closure. Do you think you can walk away from this relationship without closure and still feel like you can move on? Or would you feel better in moving on if he apologized?
The thing is, if he hasn't said sorry yet, he may never say it. That seems to be a sign that he isn't sorry. If he doesn't feel bad about it, then looking for a normal response of him apologizing may not be a simple reaction by him.
He doesn't deserve to hear from you anymore. If I were you, I would ghost him. Or if you want to do it right way, you can just tell him it's over. But the more you interact with him still, the more he'll hurt you even more.
You just have to decide when enough is enough and walk away. I wouldn't stay in contact with this person. It seems he doesn't respect you and it's possible the attraction you guys once had is extinguished.
He doesn't deserve you. I'm extremely sorry you went through this. It's horrendous and despicable of him. Add him to the pile of the trashy scummy disgusting pigs who cheat.
How are you doing? That's what matters right now. You need to take care of yourself and give yourself as much time you need to process everything. Right now you should be worrying about your own mental health.
You should distance yourself from him and take the time to feel the pain and loss. Cry as much as you need to, journal your hurt feelings and what is going on in your head (trust me it works).
Do the things you love if you can still find pleasure in doing them like taking a hot bath, watching a movie/tv show, being with friends and family who will support you during this hard time.
Allow yourself to feel the emotions and don't run away from them. They are normal and right. The beautiful part about being human is our complex emotions. So don't try to act like they are not there, don't tough them out, if you happen to do that. Feel them, embrace them, and you'll see over time you'll get better.
Also this is random but are you a writer? Just because I could feel the pain you felt just by how beautifully you wrote it. You used great imagery.
I hope you recover and find the peace and solace you deserve. You deserve to be happy and I hope you'll find your smile again. Someone who truly deserves you as well. Good luck and if you need anymore advice you can ask me, I'm here for you.
It’s presumptuous to demand an apology. Does he owe you an apology? I’d say so, but unless he’s actually sorry then a sorry is fruitless. I’d consider leaving him because he obviously doesn’t feel like he’s done anything wrong, and in that case he’s likely to do it again and again. If he knows you’ll stay either way the respect factor will probably decline for him. He made his point, he already doesn’t respect you or feel you deserve shit from him. He’s treating you like a doormat. Do you treat him like that? Maybe you should start trying to reciprocate the way he treats you to illustrate to him how it feels. You’ll probably need to lower your ideals in order to play the same game he started with you. Games aren’t preferable, but I’d at least show up for the competition so you don’t look like the asshole.
Opinion
43Opinion
If you have to demand an apology from someone, they’re not really sorry… If he didn’t confess to it or apologize, most likely he’s not sorry and if you let him get away with it, it’ll most likely happen again…
No idea what you should do. At the end of the day if you want to be with him, and make it work then you confront him.
If your the type of person that cannot see yourself ever being with someone that cheated on you... then move on. There nothing good that will come out of confronting him. What can he possible say that will make you feel better? Nothing, there is no good answer... you will only leave that conversation feeling even more hurt and conflicted about everything.
I just hate it when another woman slips and falls onto a guy and nature being what it is, can't resist the moment, things happen, oopsy. Is this guy even emotionally present and a boyfriend?
apology is the last part. he needs to recognize he can't do that, did something wrong, explain how he has changed so that never occurs again, and then apologize.
sounds like a lot of work, but maybe some brief communication will help you resolve your mind so you know how hard the fight will be.
he's probably just doing what he's always done...
I know this is horrible and I am sorry this happened to you. But you already know the right answer. The real reason you asked this is you are hoping that somehow someway there is way to reconcile this.
However most people don’t tolerate cheating but when a someone is caught red handed and refuses apologize? He literally wants you to break up with him. Give him what he is asking for. It’s better to be lonely and have self respect.
I swear you women go to both extremes and not enough in the middle. You either reject men for extremely unnecessary, fickle and sometimes stupid reasons OR you tolerate obvious inexcusable bullshit and abuse.
There is just no in between once a man does or does not have you emotionally. Logic goes out the window.
The best thing for you to do is walk away. Take my advice! I was with a cheater, and she cheated on me all the time, and NEVER apologized once. She admitted it a few times, but NOT the same thing. The problem you are going to run into is this will probably happen again. No matter what a cheater tells you, or how convincing they are, remember, they are only telling you what you want to hear. Anything so that you will keep them.
I dealt with this on more than one occasion. I thought about cheating on her to get back at her several times, but I've seen other people do that, and from what I've seen, it only makes their cheating escalate and get out of control.
I'm sure he's probably a nice guy and he's sorry, but he should have at least told you how sorry he was and why he did it. He owes you at least that much. You can do so much better! Good luck to you, from the bottom of my heart!
I've been on your end!
I'm confused. You said he didn't apologize then asked of you should confront him.
Which leads me to believe he isn't even aware that you know about it.
At this point, it's not an apology issue, it's a confession issue. He will never confess, I'll tell you that much. Maybe 30 years from now, but certainly not any time soon.
Unless you have kids or own a house together, it's not a difficult decision. Dump his cheating ass
Are you confronting him for closure and answers or for reconciliation? While he is wrong, you can’t expect him to apologize for something that he thinks you don’t know about. You will need to confront him for that.
I think before you do anything, you need be sure about what you want to do. If you are planning to leave him make sure that you won’t be allowed to be swayed with his words. His acts are unacceptable and you won’t stay for them.
You should break up with him. You were together only a year and you do not have a child together, so you are free to end it.
Not sure what an apology is going to change. He is obviously going to do it again sooner or later. If sexual exclusiveness is important for you then you need a different partner.
Kick him to the curb. You deserve better than that. Plus, if you demand an apology, you still might not get one and, if he *does* apologize, it might not be genuine. He might just say it because you want him to. Again, kick this loser to the curb. I’m so sorry.
In such a case like this I understand the pain is deep.
I don't know your age, but in life you have to learn when to cut your losses.
Your boyfriend can't be trusted thus he must go.
As time runs your wound is going to heal but the scar of infidelity will remain with you til you die.
A blowjob a day keeps side chicks away & if you are not getting enough sex in a relationship it probably means you are getting it outside of the relationship.
Sorry to hear he cheated on you!
Without huge psychology gibberish about this topic. People who hurt others and don't apologize are convinced people they hurt deserved it.
Do you think you deserved it? If no, you should make some rational decisions.
Dump him. Why in the hell would you stay with a cheater? You'd be playing "detective" and looking over your shoulder the rest of your life and you could never trust them. Cut that cancer out of your life.
If it were me, apology or not, I'd be giving him his walking papers. I'm sorry this happened to you and I truly hope everything works out in the best way for you.
~HuGs 🩷
He doesn't care about you and even if he did apologized, that still doesn't take away that he's a cheater. Be glad he's just a boyfriend that can be kicked out of your life easily.
He doesn't owe you an apology or anything else. He didn't care to be faithful to you why do you think he'd care to give you "closure"?
Unfortunately let it go. Understand no one is EVER the villain of their own story. You will never ever get them to the place where that is the narrative. It's wasted emotional effort.
You should already have dumped his loser ass. A cheater is the worst thing you can be in a relationship after child molester and abuser. It's a total betrayal of trust and complete lack of respect and morals. Run.
Walk away. He no longer loves you or care for your feelings.
he isn’t admitting… what’s left in this?
I would walk away...
Its only been a year and he cheated.. how do you think the rest of the relationship will go if you stay?
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