Have you had the "dentist test"?

[OlderAndWiser]

This question has been inspired by @worldscolide, who asked

5 Tests That Women Use On Men, That Men Should Stop Tolerating While Dating.

about "tests" that women use on men to assess their worthiness for a relationship. There is one variation of those tests that particularly bothers me, and it is the "dentist" test.

Him. What's wrong?

Her. Nothing.

Him. Looks like something's bothering you.

Her. No, it's nothing.

She becomes sullen and withdrawn. Later:

Her. Don't you care?

Him. About what?

Her. About what's bothering me.

Him. Yeah, I care, but you didn't want to talk about it.

Her. That's just because you didn't seem to care very much.

He was supposed to drag it out of her, like a dentist pulling a tooth. His job was to "make" her talk - to prove how much he cares - and his failure to participate in this shenanigan proves that he doesn't care. Of course it doesn't mean that she is a lousy communicator, because he should have been aware of the challenge and risen to the occasion.

Have you ever had a partner try to play this game with you? How did you react?

[AviatorTom]

I dated a few women who acted like that. In each case, she eventually realized I wasn't going to give here the answer she wanted to hear, and she just shut up and withdrew for awhile.

[AviatorTom]

@OlderAndWiser Thanks for the MHO

[Unit1]

😂😂 I'd simply conclude this to be a case of the girl's social ineptitude.

It's way more common than we might think.

[Unit1]

Thanks for the most helpful opinion, although these don't mean anything.

[OlderAndWiser]

:) :) :)

[molonski2]

OMG that hit a raw bone ! How many times have I heard that , it just drives me insane , zero logic.

Her : Banging on calculator..

Me ; What's wrong?

Her ; Nothing its okey..

Me; No what's the problem?

Her ; I don't have any problem..

Me; Okey , no worries then -- " here is what I did today --blah blah "

Her ; " You are so insensitive , you don't care about me "

Of course , I did know the actual message , but I was not encouraging going there , needless to say , things never quite improved.. hahahaha.

[19magic]

I sort of do this, but I wouldn't call it a dentist test,

For me it's I'm feeling a bit down cause xyz happened at work.

Him: hey what's up

Me: nothing I'm fine

Him: seriously what's up

Me: look it's just some crap at work, I want to enjoy us and forget about it/ I don't want to talk about it

Him: okay

A little while later:

A) I'm out of my funk and feeling alright

B) I've told him what's bothering me once I've had some downtime/ internal rant

[stepyo99]

That seems fine to me. I can understand not wanting to talk about something immediately, it's when women use that as an opportunity to start a fight and whine about how their partner wasn't supportive enough when she insisted nothing was wrong and didn't want to talk. That's juvenile.

[19magic]

Yep totally get that, I definitely fall in with the I'm fine crowd. I'm normally just in a sulky slump of a mood the times that I say that, and I either stay in that mood, get myself out of that mood or ramble rant. But to do that to start an argument with the dude not caring that's some evolved shit.

[Jaximus-Lion]

Oh hell naw 🤣. I don't do that at all. But i have dated a girl who acted like this, it was over on our 3rd date. Play games and be disrespectful all you want, i am walking out on you...

[VIVANT]

I have had this played on me. It was a guy. I don’t push so if someone says nothing is wrong I take it at face value. This annoys some people but that’s really between the & their higher power. in my opinion

[DextroShade]

She does this only rarely, but if she does I just tell her she's pouting like a child which gets her talking. Shaming them for acting like spoiled children is the solution.

[OlderAndWiser]

Sometimes. . .

[worldscolide]

Holy crap I forgot that one. And then they give you the silent treatment after..

[OlderAndWiser]

I got your back, brother!

[anna180]

This site is like a chat room for people with 0 social skills why dont you save up and get etiquette classes

[OlderAndWiser]

Not needed here.

[anna180]

everyone needs etiquette classes at some point unless you dont care about people skills

[OlderAndWiser]

People who have good etiquette skills do not need etiquette classes.

[anna180]

then why you asking that dentist question that desnt show good maners

[OlderAndWiser]

I ask questions to prompt discussion and maybe even impart some wisdom if someone appears who is receptive.

[exitseven]

hahahahha no I usually either tell my wife if something is wrong or else I keep it to myself.

[Likes2drive]

I don’t remember having to but if I did I probably would’ve ignored it if they were going to play those games

[DiegoO]

Sounds like my LD ex, when she use to complain about me not caring of her sleeping late.

Context: her country is 7-8 hours ahead of mine.

[DiegoO]

Those times🤷. I enjoy been single. Hell, yes I do.

[magiusX26]

yeah, try that shit on me and your ass is out. after that i rwally. do not care anymore.

[DaBiggestBird]

If some girl said that to me I would just reply with “skill issue”.

[Redstang88]

Yeah probably, but I’m single so I obviously failed lol

[Reorx]

If I'm confused I start to distance myself & get cold towards her, if she doesn't cut the crap I walk away.

[Anonymous]

I don't need to prove anything to anyone, so I will fail that test on purpose. By the way, bad test, beware of these:

[Chevy1_kb]

yup i have been told I have smashing teeth they are lovley nd they give me a beautiful smile my full family tell me that repeatedly 24 seven

[OlderAndWiser]

Did you actually read the post? Or did you read just the title?

[msc545]

I've gotten that test a few times. Irritating as hell.

[Twalli]

My girlfriend once gave me the silent treatment and didn't tell me why.

[Grond21]

Thank God I have not