a It is actually the most ridiculous thing in the world, but when you are in a relationship, you don't think that way. Unfortunately, the last time I did something like this (relationship contract) was when I was 20 :( What do you think?
At first I thought @MrOracle said everything I wanted to say on this, but another example of why having contracts, even *seemingly* petty ones, can be useful.
It has become a trope of many rock bands or other performing artists to demand things that seem petty in their performance contract. One of the first bands to do this was Van Halen, and there were actually VERY rational reasons for their doing so:
https://www.entrepreneur.com/growing-a-business/no-brown-mms-what-van-halens-insane-contract-clause/232420
At first some of the items in the performance contract *seem* silly, like Van Halen's "NO Brown M&M candies" but in reality it was (and often still is) all too common for amateur or lazy or naive show promoters to *not follow the important parts of the contract*. The important parts of the show contract being set up the equipment right, or the electrical needs, or the rigging, or the security, or the special effects, or the very stage capacity itself. And these small items were tests to see if the promoters were actually following the substantive parts of the performance contract.
Even if the promoters came back and objected to petty details of the performance contract, that was a good sign according to David Lee Roth: *it meant that the promoters were taking the necessary setup seriously*.
And the results of not following the substantive parts of the contract can be terrible and tragic, as we have seen from Altamont 1969 to Woodstock 1999:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trainwreck:_Woodstock_%2799
And certainly even more recently someplace, just the notorious ones coming to mind for me. Let's see, there was the Great White Concert Theater Fire:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_White#Reunion,_the_Station_nightclub_fire_incident_and_aftermath_(2002%E2%80%932009)
And then I recall a Metallica concert where James Hetfield was accidentally burned by improper pyrotechnics, and so the show was cut short and a riot ensued:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guns_N%27_Roses/Metallica_Stadium_Tour#Montreal_Riot
A scene from the movie "Almost Famous" comes to mind. While the band "Stillwater" was fictional, the experiences of Cameron Crowe as a young rock journalist were not, and it happened all too often that improper electricity use in stage setups led to performers getting electrocuted:
First, what's wrong with that person? The "contract" is all about their health. And recovery from what? It sounds like a caregiver agreement.
If someone presented that to me, I wouldn't be able to stop laughing.
If someone presented me with any kind of relationship contract, I'd know they were anal retentive; a nerdy engineer-type; a robot. I wouldn't be angry. They would simply never hear from me again because we are not compatible.
Now that you gave me the idea, I think it would be hilarious to write a detailed contract for laughs. It would include everything including a list of what meals you will make on each day of the week and exactly what time they will be served; when we will have sex and for how long, and a detailed list of sexual instructions using clinical terminology; how to do the laundry; when to iron, vacuum and dust; what to wear; when to bathe; grooming standards such as hair and nail styles; acceptable behavior; ...
It would be a very, very long list. 🤣🤣🤣
s I don’t think it’s a good idea. Makes the relationship seems transactional and forced rather than an ongoing choice that you two are making to be together. If a partner asked me to sign a “relationship contract”, that’d put alarm bells in my mind.
Even if, I think points should be the same for both partners.
But I never felt a need for such document. It wouldn't solve any problem.
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22Opinion
Everyone here is missing the point, which isn't much of a surprise. The point of doing this is actually much less about having a legally enforceable document and much more about forcing both parties to actually THINK ABOUT their relationship, in far more depth and detail than most people bother to, and to discover and face up to serious red flags and major incompatibilities EARLY ON in a relationship, so that you don't invest lots of time, money, and effort into a relationship that has no long-term potential.
Imagine children are very important to you, but you find out that your partner doesn't want children. Or you find out that your partner has $200,000 of debt that they hadn't mentioned to you. Or that their job was going to require them to be on the road 300 days a year, or to move across the country. I could go on, but you get the idea.
The actual contract isn't really important - the work it forces you to do to write one up is what is important - and most people not only don't do that work at the beginning of their relationship as they should, they actively avoid learning those things because they are slaves to their feelings at the expense of reason and compatibility, which means their relationship will almost certainly fail.
In a way, every relationship does have its unspoken "terms and conditions," doesn't it? Like, you don't ghost each other, you support each other, and so on.
there's the argument that relationships should be more organic and not something you can just bullet-point in a document. The concern is that it could suck the spontaneity and romance out of the equation. Imagine having a romantic dinner and then saying, "Hold on, let me check the contract to see if I'm allowed to order dessert."
I remember reading somewhere that these contracts can be useful for non-traditional relationships. Like, if you're in a polyamorous relationship, having clear guidelines can help manage expectations and boundaries. Or if you're someone who values structure and clarity above all else, then a relationship contract might just be your cup of tea.
If a contract helps you do that, then why not? But also remember, relationships evolve, and what works today might need tweaking tomorrow. Just make sure it doesn't turn into a business transaction – unless, of course, that's your thing! 📝💕
Dating, is an informal relationship, you're right. This is a "dating prenup". I don't think I'd do that, but even if I was so inclined, I wouldn't sign THIS one. It's too vague. If I'm sign a contract, it needs to be specific. "I will honor commitments I make"? How about I will not have sex with anyone else? "I will support your recovery"? What does that mean? That I'm encouraging, or that I pay your bills? "I will make healthy choices? So you have veto power on my diet, you control my exercise routine? What happens if one of us breaks the agreement? Do we go to boyfriend/girlfriend court? I don't think I'd sign this in a marriage and sure as hell not in a dating relationship.
What this sounds like is someone with an illness or disability that has been dumped before trying to avoid it happening again. Sorry, you can't lawyer yourself out of heartbreak. We all put our hearts out there and sometimes it gets stomped on. If you aren't ready for that, you aren't ready for dating.
Seems stupid makes it look like your starting employment instead of a relationship, it's full of things that are common sense.
Because you are both signing it it makes no sense to have a what I will do and what you will do section because they are all things you/I will do.
Whoever is forcing this has committed and trust issues.
I don't know where you are but in he UK this would not be legally binding.
There is a more traditional and romantic way to mark your commitment and that is either an engagement ring or if your not quite that ready an eternity ring.
How bizarre.
Of course not.
But then it's not like its legally binding anyway so whatever floats your boat I guess haha.
It's pretty ludicrous. The whole point of a pre-marriage relationship is to discern if someone already meets all of those standards without someone other than themselves having to push them to.
Ridiculous. Though that's not to say that you shouldn't at least talk about what your expectations are - if any - before going further into the relationship.
u You will
- bake homemade Cheetos at least once a week...
I don't think it's a bad idea. It might be a good way for some people to express what they want out of the relationship more thoroughly. As well as what they're looking for.
seems rather dumb and I won't venture to guess who came up with it. one should not need a piece of paper to tell them that when in a relationship you should be an addition not a burden.
I don't think it will change anything tbh. A person that wants to disrespect you, will still do that even after signing the contract.
Kinda pointless as in the actual contract itself. Why not just mention these expectations and optionally write it down? It's the adult thing to do.
I would be seriously insulted at the very suggestion of it.
While maybe corny I think it is a good thing to state what you expect to do and receive. Can't hurt.
Never seen. Have heard of prenuptials in regards to marital assets.
Contract, no. To be written out clearly, not an issue
Yep, ridiculous.
Not really a good idea. Women will do what they want regardless. They will find a way to justify having sex with their co-worker and blame you for it. Doesn't matter if there's a contract.
I think what you're referring to is getting married
Funny how the top list is a shadow of the bottom list. This has to be female generated.
