Encouragement/postive LDR experiences?

[Anonymous]

Hello, I'm looking for some positive stories on long distance relationships.

I've been dating my boyfriend for about 8 months now. And it's long distance. It wasn't for the first few months. But he ended up moving away to finish his PhD. And will be moving again to do a post doc.

Its wearing on me heavily. But I adore this man. He is really a catch and the best relationship I've been in. He's more emotionally stable than anyone I've ever met. And there's nothing I appreciate more than that.

But it's SO HARD. And it's at the point where it feels too early to consider moving with him. But at the same time, I know eventually I'll need to if we want this to work.

And I just get a lot of negative feedback about the long distance factor. I know the odds can be against that. But has anyone successfully worked it out/moved and done well long term?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He said once “Out of all the women in the world, you are the only one who could make me wait for her for such a long time. You should be proud of how special you are, how hard you made me fall for you.”

And yet, it ended after 2.5 years of long distance and 3.5 years of relationship and engagement.

Sometimes I woke up at night, wanting him.

Sometimes I woke up in the morning and when I looked at the curtains of my window and a shade of the tree outside, for a second I imagined it was him and my heart beat in anticipation.

I wanted him more than I’ve wanted anything or anyone in my life.

I craved him more than I craved food and water.

I missed his touch, his scent,

there was a fire in my building and the only thing I carried with me was his worn T-shirt that I wore the last day we spent together.

I still remember him can’t get enough of kissing me in the airport,

I remember all the nights we fell asleep together with a video call,

all the evenings we had date nights, me being in Tbilisi, him being in Suzhou,

I remember painting him, even though I suck at painting, I wanted to create something a bit similar to what he was to me,

and him being a wonderful painter, he painted me and our future family, imagining what our children would look like,

He sang me bedtime songs and lived everything with me, every step of my life that I was away from him, he was there for me,

My support system and my hero, who I believed in.

Though he liked to say it was me who was his hero and that I saved him and everything he was, he was because of how wonderful I was.

We loved each other as deeply as love can get. I was confident his broad shoulders and persistent, warrior heart would find me anywhere and that no distance would keep him away from me.

Every fiber of my body and mind was immersed in him, as if I was a sponge and he filled me up with his love.

My brother could tell the days when he told me he loved me, because I was flying with happiness those days. I was shining bright with happiness.

Yet, it ended.

Even the most beautiful of fairytales end…

That’s why all the fairytales start with “Once upon a time.”

Love has two biggest enemies - Time and Distance and when both reunited fight against you, it takes an exceptionally strong willed person to manage keeping her love.

Even if you are sure in both of you, time changes us.

He told me he changed, that I was the same girl he fell for, but he changed, the time away from me finally changed him.

You can’t ensure someone doesn’t grow apart from you. You either grow together or grow apart.

So if there’s a chance… Go to him or invite him to you.

I didn’t have a chance, there was a pandemic and his country was locked for 2 years.

You do have a chance, if you love him, end the Long Distance relationship and get into an actual relationship with him, where you can touch his body every night and wonder for yourself “Are you dreaming or is it just really him after so many days and nights of longing him.”

[spartan55]

I had a successful 8 month LDR. The reason it worked imho:

• We were engaged to get married
• We set a hard deadline for me to move, and I met that deadlibe
• Every decision throughout we made together
• We saw each other at least once a month, sometimes more.