My boyfrien of 12 years has been having an affair with a married women off and on for 10 years should I expose their affair especially to the husband?

[Anonymous]

I recently discovered that my boyfriend the father to my son has been having an on again off again affair with a married woman for approximately 10 years now.
My boyfriend knew she was married and has 3 children of her own when they started this off and on affair, She was also aware that he was in a relationship with me and we have a son together. Yet my boyfriend chose to cheat on me with her knowing this and she chose to cheat on her husband knowing about me too. I don not know how long this affair would have continued had I not caught them, and truthfully don’t know if it is truly over either as they are both liars. But I have chosen to try and make my relationship work, yes I do second guess my choice at times but I have invested over 12 years nearly 13 years into building a life with him that I am not willing to walk away without giving our relationship one last try.

While this other women does not owe me anything and the only person she owes anything to is her husband and her 3 children. It is my understanding that she is still living a lie and hasn’t said anything about her affair with my boyfriend to her husband ( my boyfriend wanted to expose everything to her husband but she convinced him not too). My Question is should I expose their affair to her husband or should I just leave it alone? As I am also a victim of their affair I know the pain it will cause finding out about the affair but I also know I would have wanted to know especially being it’s been going on off and on for 10 years.
What should I do?

[OlderAndWiser]

He is a long term cheater and a liar and you know it beyond doubt. You have no reason to think that he will change, especially since you are displaying tolerance for his bad behavior. I can't imagine why you would ever again trust him for any reason. If you don't leave him now, the misery that follows will be your responsibility.

[Staximus]

Give your relationship one last try? Wake up and smell the bacon, genius. The guy has been cheating on you for 10 years. He's not going stop now.

[electromagnetic]

Pack up your things and leave. It’ll be good to let the other partner know too so they’re not living in the dark. This happened to me and I’m so thankful the girlfriend called to let me know he’s a cheater. But for you, take your boy and take off.

[Thestupidusername]

Yes expose them both and take custody of your kids and move far away from him

[Anonymous]

I am on the other side of this; and actually the other married woman to an affair of 7 years. There are many reasons why woman have affairs and for woman it’s rarely about sex. For me; I am in a domestically violent relationship. I have tried to leave countless times and he would honestly kill me; him or even my children if I achieved leaving. My affair partner began only as a friend! And since has been my absolute lifeline for getting by. If my husband was to find out, I would honestly be murdered. You never know what goes on behind closed doors, I would suggest rebuilding the relationship with your husband, and to give him space to grieve, because he will. Feel free to comment if you have any questions privately.

[Asker]

Thank you for taking the time to share your experience. I want to clarify that while this married woman knew about me, and my partner knew about her husband not at any stage did I blame the other women as she owed me nothing and I am pretty sure she would have her reasons why she cheated on her husband, but unfortunately that doesn’t stop my pain or how the discovery of finding them both together has destroyed me mentally and emotionally. I am forever waiting and wondering if they are still in contact and both are just continuing to lie.
Unfortunately I don’t know how to comment privately but I do have a question, I am aware I need to give him space to grieve because long term affairs do result in a connection whether it’s mentally, physically or emotionally and having that stop all of a sudden would take time to adjust too.
I am in no way trying to attack you but I am curious as I can’t ask my partner or the other women Do you ever feel guilty for knowingly cheat on your husband?
If you ended it with your affair partner would you try and rekindle that relationship after the dust had settled?
If your affair partner had or finds someone new would you let him go or would you try and pull him back into the affair?
Do you plan a future with your affair partner or is it just an escape from your current situation?
Do you share personal private details about your husband to your affair partner?

[Jmmmfi4]

AND WHY EXACTLY ARE YOU WITH THIS GUY

[Anonymous]

I am pretty sure you are a crap wife otherwise he wouldn't have one, please don't play the victim

[Thestupidusername]

Makes sense why your little pussy as is anonymous

[Opinion Owner]

@Thestupidusername i am because of stupid feminists like you

[Thestupidusername]

Im not a feminist never have been but supporting cheating shows you are a tiny lol pussy son😂😂. Keep hiding little puss. Merry Christmas

[Opinion Owner]

@Thestupidusername I don't support cheating either but that doesn't make her a victim. Sorry but appealing to the most common feeling that works in most men doesn't work for me. Look down there you can see who is the pussy. Also fuck Christmas

[Thestupidusername]

Yes you do support it otherwise you would have called it out. But can't talk to a little puss hiding. So bye! Merry Christmas:)

[Thestupidusername]

Bye...

[Opinion Owner]

@Thestupidusername I called it because in my lifetime I have seen enough people playing the victims in a relationship when they were total shit to their partner sometimes even mentally abusing, unlike you I speak from experience, you speak from media that washes your brain and fuck your Christmas. Bye.

[Asker]

You are entitled to your opinion, whether I choose to accept it or not is a different story. There is NEVER an excuse to cheat let alone have a full blown affair. If I was such a horrible partner why not leave rather than continue to live a double life for 10 years.
Cheaters don’t leave their partners because they don’t want too leave otherwise they would have left long time before having an affair. So there is no justification to ever cheat on someone. Cheating shows a character flaws in the cheater not the person who has been cheated.
But thank you for your opinion I will be sure to let my partner know that you disagree with him that I must be a crap partner for him to cheat on me otherwise he would not have done it. I will also let him know that you disagree that I am not the innocent one and didn’t deserve it.. So he should have saved his energy in begging for forgiveness and wanting me to stay and not leave.
So again thank you for your opinion, you have clearly never been cheated on because the first thing one does think is was it something I did.. So thumbs up for confirming my own insecurities
So who is playing the victim? Both her husband and myself are innocent parties to their web of deceit and lies, no victim playing needed there.

[sheikalana]

No, you should break things off and move on.

[dudeinohio]

Expose him

[KrakenAttackin]

Chad has needs.