Would you rather be lied to or get brutal honesty?

[OddBeMe]

It is the unvarnished and obviously hurtful. But would you rather lied to?

I want brutal honestly

No…lie to me. I need positive affirmation.

Other or both?

[normalice]

If I find any honesty "brutal" that seems like a me problem. There are hard truths in life, yes, but I still genuinely either attempt my best or skive off with both eyes open. If there is any fault of mine someone can explain that I don't already know that's already going to be more shocking to me that any "brutal" terminology one might come up with.

But I'm also well aware that a lot of people are not like that, preferring to bury or excuse their faults instead of owning them. I have a vague sense of what it would be like to think that way so I can see why any honesty would be considered "brutal" to them, but I don't get the appeal of trying staying that way once it is clear the jig is up, let alone all the doubling down we tend to see from republicans when they are called out on their faulty logic or are caught trying to bury their own track records. My best guess is it's an inability to cut ones losses, which i suppose isn't unreasonable given the time investment. Plus, there's always the chance that owning the narrative and thus silencing critics could be achievable. It still doesn't change the facts and that would bother me. I'll never get why it doesn't bother them.

[Juxtapose]

The A. I guy is right actually. You can be honest but have tact. How you say something is oftentimes more important than what you say.

"I feel frustrated when you look at other women and it's hurtful to me. It makes me think unkind things and I feel less secure in the relationship. Can we talk about this?"

Vs..

"You piss me the fuck off you god damn pervert with no self control. How fucking dare you look at other women? Pig, man slut, worthless piece of shit! You better sit the fuck down and let me tell you how things are going to be from now on BITCH!"

[purplepoppy]

The brutal truth is rarely the truth, it's nearly always someone inflating his own opinion to stroke his own ego.

I'd want neither, I'd want well thought out constructuctive critism with advice on how i could improve, there's no call to be brutal about it.

[dustybiker2]

Excellent points.

[LazyDork]

So much this.

[Pinay_ako]

I’d rather be hurt by the truth than a sugarcoated lie. Give it to me I can and will take it.

[nawtee_me]

@Pinay_ako to be brutally honest with you, you are absolutely gorgeous….

[LazyDork]

@nawtee_me Smooth.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Diving into the deep end, aren't we? The magic of relationships is dancing between honesty and compassion. We're all about falling in love, not falling into despair, right? Brutal honesty can sting like a bee, but a lie is like a slow-acting poison. My vote? Give me the truth, but serve it on a plate of kindness. We can handle the truth when it's wrapped in understanding and care. It fosters growth and deepens connections. Lies, though... they tend to unravel, leaving a mess that's much harder to clean up. Keep it real, but keep it kind – that's the secret spice to a lasting love story. 😉

[OddBeMe]

True true. Ironically I think white lies are best for relationships as people get more upset about mundane things like “do this jeans make my butt look big?”

Not “should I quit my job and follow my dream of becoming a pop star?” Then brutal honesty might be best. Lol

[Rei13]

They’re both not great. I know a few people that take a lot of pride in being brutally honest when it’s just them being unnecessarily hurtful to someone and making themselves feel good for saying it how it is. You can tell the truth pretty effectively without being cruel to to someone. Lying to someone is also bad. If there is an issue nothing will change if you don’t communicate that

[Vesuvius87]

I want the brutal honest so I can't stop wasting my time on anyone. I'll at least respect you more than if you're a coward that sugarcoats things. Don't try to be nice and elaborate things. That'll just further upset me.

[OddBeMe]

Interesting. What about white lies to make you feel better?

[Vesuvius87]

That's still a lie.

[LazyDork]

I selected "Other" in the poll because the way the question is worded sounds like a false dilemma (excluded middle fallacy). I would prefer objective honesty—honesty that is accurate but isn't presented in such a way or given with emotional insinuations that make it unnecessarily harsh. Tell me the way things really are, why you feel things and the actual reasons behind them without resorting to personal attacks and ad hominem arguments. But to answer the question as asked, if I, for some reason, had no other choice but those given, I would rather get brutal honesty. Falsehood can cause more trouble than it's worth.

[Pohjolan]

People from other cultures have to be specifically taught that Americans expect a certain level of dishonesty as a form of politeness.

Fat positivity and "missgendering" are examples of this.

What you consider brutal honesty is just normal honesty elsewhere.

[Zoeysiren]

Ooh, that's a tough one! There's no easy answer, really. It depends on the situation. A little white lie to save someone's feelings might be okay, but a big lie, especially about something important, can destroy trust. Brutal honesty can be hurtful, but at least you know where you stand. I guess for me, honesty is usually the best policy, even if it stings a bit at first.

[Little_Bumblebee]

It's like people don't realize you can be honest without being a dick about it.

[OddBeMe]

I don’t think you realize how much we lie i real life. To our parents friends, employees etc…

[Little_Bumblebee]

I know many people do. I try my best to be as truthful as possible

[Purpleronnie]

There is nearly always a way to be honest without being brutal and I would always try and find that before resorting. But if the ONLY way to give me the news requires it to be brutal then yes , never lie to me.

[YevBor]

Depends on situation. If some s**t happens in my life, and I didn't want to make people's who I love feel sad - I will lie to them and say that everything is OK. If someone, even people's who I love, make some mistake or do something inappropriate - I will use brutal honesty.

[IslaTheWitch]

brutal honesty expressed with some decency and respect for another person

[LazyDork]

Honesty of the most brutal kind usually lack in respect by the mere nature of its brutality.

[12karen]

I want brutal honestly, don't lie to me, if you don't like me, just tell me, things like "don't want to hurt you by telling the truth" lol, knowing you were hypocrite hurts more

[Dinklex3]

You can be honest without being an ass about it. I think too many people use the excuse of “I was just being honest” as a way to insult people.

[Jay-_-]

I'd rather have brutal honesty, only if it's true, I'm not asking for assumptions, delusions mixed with your emotions, I need stated facts and I will willingly listen and even put you on a pedestal for being honest with me.

[WhitneySnow]

Honesty but delivered politely and with concern for my feelings is the best

[MrOracle]

The truth I can handle. I don't have to like it, but at least I can deal with it. A lie doesn't help me at all and will just make things worse over time.

[Nikki1989]

I was taught, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Of course, there are exceptions to that rule.

[Anonymous]

Honesty is easier to deal with but it need not be brutal. Delivery is important and the packaging can help them take on your messaging.

[Sevenpointfive]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/uCGD9dT12C0

actually... if you aren't honest with me, i'll kick the shit out of you.

[loladevine]

Brutal honesty but some things shouldn’t be said

[laly520]

I prefer brutal truth

could be painful but true

[nawtee_me]

Honesty is always best no matter how much it hurts….