Do you believe that single mothers should feel entitled to childless men?

Question

I know some co-parenting single mothers who refuse to date single fathers because it's "too much baggage", which is hypocritical in a way. It's understandable that many childless men wouldn't want to deal with a baby daddy who the woman is probably still involved with. I don't see what's wrong with combining two families, instead of expecting childless men to deal with all of her baggage. Plenty of people have combined their families and have turned out in a better financial situation with more social support.

SweedyPie · Accepted Answer

So every story has two sides. I think that when you become a parent and see and know how much work and energy is out into nurturing little boys and girls into young gentlemen and ladies, the reality of this responsibility hits you like a tonne of bricks. I do not think any person truly understands the weight of being a single parent except those who have experienced it. It's challenging. Even more so when you have a set of morals and goals and values you hope to see come to life in your children.

That being said, remember that not every person who is a parent, was actually ready to be a parent when it happened to them, and also if you think of the psychology of it, each person thinks differently based on whatever life experiences they would have had throughout their lives. So what I or you may consider as hypocritical in that a single parent is saying they don't want to date another single parent, might really be them being unsure of their parenting abilities, maybe they think they already suck at it and don't want to them have to further suck by dealing with other people's children too, may e they themselves are afraid that a partner who is a single parent will be more likely to cheat, maybe they worry about the influence other children, not their own could have on their children, maybe they worry that it will be tougher for their children to accept not only one new person but one plus their children.

SO. Do I think they should feel entitled to childless men. I'm not sure that phrasing is right... makes it seem like childless men are a prize or something to a woman with children? Which they are not. Humans are humans.

I personally am the type attracted to beautiful minds and beautiful hearts, where in my opinion a beautiful mind and beautiful heart will create children likewise, so them having children is not an issue, since our visions would collide and harmonize. Of course then it requires a bit more information to ensure that previous ties are actually cut (relationship wise) but every parent needs to be a good active one with positive energy and that's the harmony I would want us to have. As well as ensuring the children enjoy each other's company and are similarly raised to how my little gentlemen are. Manners, kindness, love, empathy, being important. I mean nobody wants step children who will bully their own children, right?

So, that said, I still cannot actively bash the single parents who think more children in that instant way, is too much for them to handle. I just wish them the best and hope that they find what they want out of life. So let them do what they do, and if you think they are wrong, still just let them be.

The world would be much better if we were faster to act out of love and understanding than the opposite. But it is so easy to fall into the prejudiced path, the angry path, that as humans we sometimes miss the mark.

BrittBratt2416 · Accepted Answer

I think wild your still young, single and childless, you should date other childless people unless you're okay with dating someone who has kids. The reason I say this is cause things can get messy bring a new man or woman into the picture who isn't the kids father or mother.

It can cause jealousy, rebellious attitude, and anger from the kid's side cause you're bring a stranger in their mother or father's place. Also I don't believe in bring a stranger into the home while my kids are young and living with me, I just don't trust that especially with all the stories about how kids where being molested by mom's boyfriend or a close friend etc.

Also say you and the kid click and fall in love with each other and you just have an amazing bond with this kid and then things go south in the relationship. Your're not going to be breaking up with that person, but you're going to be breaking up with that kid as well... and I don't know to many people who stick around their ex's just to maintain a relationship with the kid. It usually doesn't happen.

Now that sounds all gloom and doom, but it's something to think about and consider. However I do think it can work for some people and they end up making beautiful blended families. So if your childless... stick with childless people, if your a parent... date other single parents cause then you have something in common and will understand that the kids come first. That's another thing, a lot of single people without kids are eventually going to get tired having to sacrifice me time with their S. O cause you can't find a baby sitter or the kid gets sick etc... So just save yourself from that unless you really down for that person and you're okay with it.

vvv_vvv · Accepted Answer

As a single mother I would absolutely prefer to date someone who also had kids. I was actually talking to a friend about this not long ago. To put it as simply as possible, I feel like trying to date someone who doesn't have children of their own just wouldn't "get it". There's a LOT of aspects to creating a family unit that "the single parent" partner & "the childless" partner might have difficulty connecting on.

aaronbw · Accepted Answer

Im not a parent, but thisbis my view on the matter:

I think that entitledness is hypocritical and just wrong. There is no excuse, we get it, accidental pregnancies happen, or maybe your a widow, or divorced, etc.

That can happen to men too (minus the pregnancy part) their wives die, they get divorced and the wife doesn't want the children or is top unstable to win custody, etc.

I dont care the sex of the parent, parenting is hard regardless. So saying a man is unattractive because he's a single father is very hypocritical. If you want that man, you learn to love his kids. If you want that woman, you learn to love her kids.

ImJustCurious13 · Accepted Answer

If a single mother had the audacity to DEMAND that I be her cuck daddy just because I have no children, I'd tell her maybe you shouldn't have been a slut, maybe you should have waited until the time was truly right, maybe you should've picked your partners more wisely, maybe you should've use a form of birth control. First she's feels entitled to my tax dollars (somewhat exaggerating) and now she feels entitled to my entire life and well being, she can fuck off. I know someone might bring up "what if the father died?" Well I'd feel bad for her but that still doesn't make her entitled to me or make me obligated to raise another man's kid.

MzAsh · Answer

There’s only a stigma against single moms, not much for single fathers. Not sure where you are seeing this.

CoffeeWC · Answer

No. I actually believe single mothers should be less likely to get a childless man. I believe it has a lower success rate and single mothers shouldn't be expecting guys without baggage when they have baggage of their own.

Sammy165 · Answer

Is this under the assumption that majority of single men don’t want women with children? Because that’s entirely wrong.

A lot of men wouldn’t mind dating single mothers, and a lot of single mothers wouldn’t mind dating single dads. The latter is actually extremely common, as single mothers look for men with the potential to be good father figures for their children.

Whichever single mothers said that dating single fathers is too much baggage are clearly immature, and stating that having children itself is baggage is also pretty shallow, as I know multiple single men that are dating full time mums 🤷‍♀️

Children are apart of the package, and some of these mothers are incredible women. Take em or leave em, your loss.

stardust101 · Answer

Entitled? People have the right to date who they want as long as it’s legal. Being a parent is really hard and maybe these single mothers weren’t prepared to have children of their own, so they don’t want to deal with other children who aren’t theirs? Did you ask these single mothers why? And also, I know a lot of men who’ve dated and then gone on to marry single mothers and the single mothers had more children with these men. However, I don’t know one man who has dated a single mother without having children of his own with her.

MissGeorgia · Answer

No, not at all.

When I was thinking that I would quite like to date someone again one day, I kind of hoped I'd end up meeting and clicking with a single dad, because it's someone who completely understands, and someone who would be on the same wave length as you in so many ways, and it's someone that you know is used to being around kids.
Plus it is something the two of you immediately have in common, and it's a big thing.

I have a little boy. My partner doesn't have children, but he actually chased me for quite a lot time, and one of the reasons I was so hesitant to get involved with him was because I thought that if he we did get involved, he would probably decide he didn't want to be.

It's a lot to take on.
Nobody would just expect that from anyone.

Anonymous · Answer

Absolutely not. Don't do it, guys. And make no mistake about her intentions. She's looking for a sucker to pick up the bill for her mistakes. She probably trash talks you and laughs to all her friends about you. That's just the truth.

btbc92 · Answer

What? Should men be entitled to sex, especially outside of marriage? No. Many of these women for the most part did not ask to be pregnant. But they do. The problem is many people do not want to do it God's way because they think he doesn't exist and it's too religious. People can do whatever they want, but it comes with consequences. Childless men usually would have a better compacity physically to try to be a father to the child that is technically fatherless. But the ones you really need to look out for are the ones who are selective who they want sex with to play daddy in bed and outside of the bedroom for the child to approve of. Because all they want is what they want instead of what is best for the child. If she tried to work it out with the father, I believe that she is just as deserving of any man who wants to be with her than not be with anybody over something she may or may not had control over. There is only but some much of a punishment a person can take.

Mädchen · Answer

Nobody is entitled to anyone. But it's much harder to find a single dad than a guy without kids. And in my experience or better said from the experience of my single mother friends, mothers prefer to date single dads cause they know how. to handle a child.

EmeraldGreen190 · Answer

No. They should not and yes I believe it is hypocritical just as much as men with 5 kids approaching me. Which has happened before. Then they get butthurt when I say I don’t date single fathers. I don’t have kids so why I should take care of someone else’s?

spyda187 · Answer

Bein 28 with no kids i either run into females wantin to get pregnant and will even start makin offers wit u and then i run into single mothers... the kids don't even be the problem (one was lol) it be the mom herself... Like either she dont cook and that's a turn off because how u have a kid depending on u and u barely even cook, some still want to run around like they dont have kids, worried about the wrong stuff, etc... I'd still date them but damn can i find one that's ok lol

Beccawife33 · Answer

No, they should not feel entitled, but if it works out that way, what is the problem? My hubby knew about my kids even before our first date. He is a wonderful step dad to them.

AynonOMouse · Answer

Single mothers have very little value to single childless men because of drama, much higher likelihood of cheating/trying to make it work with the child's father because of repeated involvement with the ex, expenses, and the child not wanting to listen to the man's rules when in his house.

coachTanthony · Answer

If they do then they do. On a dating site women always say "Hey I have kids and they will always come first"

So if you are single guy with no kids you will basically never be that important to them... now if you are a single DAD with kids then both of you can put your kids first and take a second fiddle role with eachother!

Just makes more sense to me! But to each their own!

Roxi- · Answer

Mmm I don’t know I would say it is selfish but at the end of the day I do feel people have the right to choose to date however they want. We all do not think alike and me as single mother would not mind but hey I know other moms that do and they says it’s because they don’t want to have to share which is selfish but still I can see the logic in it.

rjroy3 · Answer

Not settling for one thing isn't the same as feeling entitled to another. That's kind of like saying just because you're not willing to settle for a gay guy that this somehow means you feel entitled to dating a woman instead. I don't know if entitled is actually the word lol. You're just not going to settle for something you don't want

Bananaman177 · Answer

The real problem is this:

Single moms can't fucking stand for anyone else to "parent" their child.

So they want to be in a relationship with anyone BUT an actual father.

That's the one guy who is the biggest threat to their fragile ego. They don't want some guy with parenting experience to come into their broken family and start showing them up.

CaviarLilly · Answer

I'm a single mom and I prefer to date fathers. I don't like childless men.

Anonymous · Answer

Nope. If I was a single mother I’d definitely prefer to date a single father, cause there will be many benefits if he have a paternal instinct. But I don’t believe I will date someone unless my child is over 18, cause I heard too many cases of children abused by their step-father. So even if I will be a single mother, I won’t have a child with me that he will have to raise as well

BCA6010 · Answer

If anyone struts around with an entitled mindset they're going to have a bad time.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

Most single mothers don't want to date childless men. There is a higher chance the child will be molested if the man does not have children of his own that he lives with.

Do you believe that single mothers should feel entitled to childless men?

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