Why do some men string girls along?

[Anonymous]

This is why so many people have trust issues. Why are some guys so selfish that they string girls along making them think the relationship is actually going somewhere but it is not. Am I right or wrong? If a guy really wants you, he will do everything he can to make you his girlfriend. There is no "Im confused, or I'm not looking for a relationship" Those are bs excuses guys use to make a girl think she has a chance. Why talk to her everyday and all day even though you probably aren't going to get sex? Why invest so much time? Do guys desperate for female attention do this?

[Anonymous]

let's define stringing along as staying involved with you but not making the full effort to be in a relationship. perhaps it is nearly acting like a couple but not being exclusive or official. or perhaps it is one of those hot and cold, on and off, here-then-not-then back again type things.

it's "stringing along" because it's that gray area where you feel caught on a string, you don't know what you are or where it's going and it isn't something solid or official, so you don't know if you should just cut the string and be done or not.

why do guys do it to girls?

they like the attention, they like having an option but for whatever reason they don't want to commit to you, they want to have sex with you, they have other options or perhaps an official relationship they are hiding from you.

i was in that situation. it really broke my heart. didn't end up having sex because I figured either way he was going to dump me so I didn't want to give it up because I knew I would feel worse if I had sex with him.

all I can say is to be fair both genders do this. I am not good at faking relationships even though many girls are. if I don't like a guy that way I don't lead him on.

however, guys have accused me of leading them on but for a different reason-i wasn't letting them have sex with me. but, he wasn't giving me a relationship, he was stringing me along because he wanted to have sex with me and liked my attention, I was a younger chick who looked good on his arm. so, he was pretending he liked me and keeping me around with enough attention to keep me interested and make me feel like there's hope for a relationship, but not giving enough to ease my insecurities and doubts. and I was letting him, and not cutting the string and moving on when logically I should have, because I liked him a lot and hoped his shallow attempts, where it was obvious he was just stringing me on but I ignored it, would turn real. they don't, let me tell you.

you learn from experience, it's hard until you've been burned and it will hurt. but a girl just has to be smart. don't have sex until a relationship. period. when it comes up tell the guy that you only have sex in an exclusive relationship. many guys will run, yes. but they just would have strung you along. I guarantee that the guys who truly like you enough to be in a relationship won't run 99% of the time, if you say you'll only have sex in a relationship. the guys who run from this are not the ones you want.

honestly most of the motivation guys have for stringing a girl along is sex or at least some action. you have a good he wants and you have an interest of self respect and being in a happy relationship. the guys who truly value you will pay the "price" because they like you for MORE than the sex and want to be in a real relationship. the ones who string you along are just playing, they don't want to pay up, they are trying to cheat you. don't give in!

[Asker]

This was great! So what do you suggest I do? Start ignoring his texts? Confront him about it? play it cool? How to I take my stand on this?

[Opinion Owner]

ask him straight out where is this going and be prepared to walk away. guys who string you along will likely give some half assed answer.

[Asker]

I am afraid of getting rejected again. I don't think my heart can take that again from him. We have had this on and off friends with benefits for over 6 months and he has told me before right before I called it quits the last time that he is not interested in me like that. And once again before that. I know deep in my heart its not going anywhere. So what do I do?

[Opinion Owner]

you leave. he told you what he wants. no offense but he's not really stringing you along, he made it clear there's no relationship. he is just continuing the sex because he knows he can get it.

[Anonymous]

"If a guy really wants you, he will do everything he can to make you his girlfriend."

Not true. Nice that you think so, though. It means you're one of those that can be strung along, because you hold such silly ideas about men.

[aMuse]

I'm not looking for a relationship is pretty damn clear. How is that stinging someone along? If he's not looking for a relationship, how in the world do you think you have a chance? =S

[Asker]

It's clear but that is bullsh*t. If you are not looking for a relationship, why text the girl everyday giving her the notion it might possibly turn into something more. Actions speak louder than words.

[aMuse]

No, you're under the impression that the only reason girls and guys talk is to get into a committed relationship. That is a misconception you need to get over. Girls and guys talk and flirt for many reasons, and the nature of a relationship is defined by the two people involved in that relationship. It might just be as harmless as broadening their social circle, it might be for friendship, they might be looking for f*** buddies, they might want to have a short term fling with you for a little

[aMuse]

companionship and sex, or they might want something serious. Just because you're not OK with any arrangement other then a committed relationship, doesn't mean their aren't girls out there that go for that. When a guy says he doesn't want a relationship, he's being very clear with you. That is not stringing you along. You're just talking to a guy that has different goals then you.

[aMuse]

You should listen to what he is saying and move on from him if you're not down for that sort of thing.

[Asker]

Let me rephrase that to instead of a relationship, I mean at least wanting to take it to the next level. Example, two people have been hooking up for months. The girl doesn't want just sex anymore and something a little more meaningful like going out to dinner, movies, or just casual dating. So the sex stops for over a month, and the guy knows the reason why the sex stops. Why continue to talk to her? why not get another girl?

[aMuse]

I suppose he likes having sex with you. Seems pretty simple. I'd bounce if I were the guy. Withholding sex is a ginormous red flag in my book, but I guess if you don't ever expect it to go anywhere there's no need to care about the import characteristics of a girl.

[Asker]

The second part of your response is what I was trying to get you to understand this whole time! If you don't expect it to go anywhere, why bother putting in the effort to contact her on a daily basis? Wouldn't it be a waste of time?

[aMuse]

If he has a girl that gives him "reliable sex" in exchange for "reliable attention" then that's the bargain that was struck. He knows that when he talks to your regularly and keeps you happy, that you'll touch his penis. lol So long as you keep doing it, he'll keep doing it.

[Hyaaoops]

Do men know they are stringing someone along or are theu oblivious to it?

[Anonymous]

lol, I could say the same thing about women...men do it for the same reason women do it. They like the attention

[Asker]

Uh I would never text a guy I was stringing along on a daily basis. I would never tell him about my family or personal secrets. If I would string a guy a long, it would be texts that would somehow result in giving me an ego boost. Isn't there a line where one is doing too much and going beyond what is necessary?

[Opinion Owner]

No, I could tell someone things about me all the time, and I may not "LIKE" them, I just may like the attention. Trust me, you'll know when someone likes you, not just the attention, you'll feel it in your gut

[Asker]

So you could pretend to like a girl just for attention? (not saying you would, hypothetically)

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, like for example, most girls I pretend to like or that like me, don't know that right now I can't hold a relationship, I'm not only physically able to but I'm also emotionally unavailable as well as financially unavailable. I'm jobless still living at home and still in a 2 year school at the age of 24. I just can't REALLY like someone right now BUTTTTTTTT I'm an attention whore and will string girls along because I like it

[Asker]

Let me ask you, if you were to give advice to your sister or good friend. How should a girl know when a guy is stringing her along for attention or he likes her and contemplating something more serious?

[Opinion Owner]

You're asking the wrong dude, haha. Like I said, you'll feel it in your gut. Trust your instincts!

[sexyasianboi26]

"Get laid, or die trying"- 50 cent

[Asker]

Let me ask you something: Why would you continue to consistently reach out to a girl on a daily basis knowing you won't get sex for a long time or ever?