Are people who want to date outside of their race ashamed of their culture?

Question

It’s something I’ve just noticed recently. I feel like there’s nothing more beautiful than finding someone within your culture and own skin tone because you are making a statement. I am a dark guy (race unknown) and would love a dark girl (race unknown) because I love my brown skin and culture.
However, I can kinda understand white people in a sense because society seems to be attacking them and their culture. Other cultures are more at peace and allowed to celebrate it.

Are people who want to date outside of their race ashamed of their culture?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Not sure where you got that idea from. The race of a person never entered or enters my mind. When I see an attractive woman, I judge them on their looks and personality. My race, or theirs, is not ever an issue in any meaningful sense except insofar as it is part of their physical beauty.

For the record, I am white and my girlfriend is white. We have three children and have lived together for over a decade. Yet I have, in my life, dated three African-American women and one Japanese woman. If I were ashamed of my culture, by that logic, my girlfriend would never have had a chance.

In each case, I saw a person who attracted me and who I therefore wanted to be with. My culture had nothing to do with it.

In the case of the Japanese girl it was, in fact, a mutual interest in politics. We both worked in politics and that is how we met. Things just proceeded from there and probably would have gone on but she wanted to return to Japan to run for a seat in the Diet - their national parliament.

We even talked about my moving to Japan with her - it was that serious. (We also, at one point, thought she might be pregnant.) However, I knew that would be the end of my work in politics and so things ended.

As an aside, she did go back to Japan and win a seat. She may still be in the Diet for all I know. though I did not follow her career for very long after we broke up.

As far as culture goes, dating a Japanese girl had its interesting aspects. The Japanese tend to express themselves, compared to Americans, more indirectly. Thus, for example, I rarely got a "no" answer to a question if I asked whether she wanted to do something. Instead I would get a question to my question.

For example:

ME: "Want to go to the movies tonight?"

HER: "Did you hear about that new restaurant in Georgetown? I have been wanting to try that for a while?"

Throw in a bit of broken English and you get a sense of the practical aspects of dating someone from a different culture. Suffice to say I truly loved her, but if anything, the frustrations caused by such indirection made me, if anything, appreciate my culture more. (Albeit, the problem with Americans is that you often get too much of a good thing.)

As to dating the African-American women, they were part of our culture. How the fact that they were a different race than mine would make me think differently of my own culture escapes me.

To be sure, there were some differences, but they were hardly insurmountable, let alone making me think differently about my "culture." We generally watched the same movies and television shows, read similar books, had political similarities and differences. Nothing so existential that it boiled down to elemental questions of culture.

To the degree that there were differences in "culture," they were differences that exist within my/our culture. The irony being that these tended to cut more deep than the differences that I had with the Japanese girl.

Thus I got pregnant one of the African-American girls I dated - and then she aborted my baby without telling me. It is, to this day, the most painful thing I have ever experienced and it hurts more than I can say. However, that was personal and to the extent that it reflected the wider culture it was a divide we see in the headlines every day.

Bottom line, dating outside of one's race can have a multiplicity of motivations. However, culture - shame about which or not - scarcely is a factor in the equation. Alternatively, it it is a factor, that relationship likely won't last long.

Iron_Man · Accepted Answer

No I’m white and I love being white and yes I do date Latina girls

SunsetRise · Accepted Answer

I won't say I agree or disagree. As a white woman who has never dated or had sex with anyone who was "fully white", I can see where you're coming from. I am kind of baffled by how stupid white boys my age are. They're entitled and think they can get any girl, regardless of what color they are.

However, I've dated a half-Japanese half-Filipino man, been with a man whose family is from Panama, and a man whose family is from Puerto Rico. I'm all over the map. I just think other cultures and races are so beautiful and different from mine. White guys just don't really excite me anymore, especially coming from a city that is predominantly white.

The only thing I don't like about dating other races is when they point out that I'm white all the time. I realize how pale I am and I realize that what I've been taught is different, but it's as rude as if I were to point out how weird something is in their culture or if I made a stereotypical assumption about their race. It's still rude and uncalled for. I shouldn't feel ashamed to be white just as they shouldn't feel ashamed to be whatever color they are.

lanadelrey25 · Accepted Answer

Um no. I'm a white woman with strong french descent and I love my culture, yet the guy I'm dating is korean with a strong korean culture. Still love my culture... not ashamed.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I don’t try to date Chinese guys cause I don’t act like a Chinese girl - I’m not naive and trusting and submissive and quiet and unconditionally obedient so I assume Chinese guys won’t like me in comparison to other Chinese girls as well I do not have a close bond with Chinese culture cause I do not have a close bond with my Chinese parents so I do not relate to most a Chinese guys - I am also too religious for most Chinese guys which is another thing that makes a mismatch - even with Chinese Christians, I’m more religious than they are willing to accept.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I am Caucasian and I have primarily dated Caucasians but I have also dated Asians, Hispanics, and a native American. I don't hate my race but I am attracted to some women of other races and sometimes we meet and the attraction is there. I am currently dating a Chinese woman and she's a great woman - because she is a great person and not because she is Chinese.

Apope16 · Answer

No. I date white women because I grew up in an interracial family. Also... i just white girls attractive. Its just a biological thing. Like blue eyes. Brown hair color. Or long straight hair.

I date all races by the way. So black women dont hate. I think you guys are sexy too.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

No one really worries who they date and what has race (a stupid colonial name) got to do with culture?
It seems only some people (potentially racists) think there is a specific preference.

in the UK, it’s a huge mix of cultures and ethnicities.

for example, you may have a black guy whose great grand parents came from Jamaica dating an Indian girl whose grand parents came from South Africa.

or they could be from India, from Hong Kong etc etc.

I have noticed a HUGE amount of Americans seem to be asking this type of question.

Why is it so important, over here no one really gives a damn other than they like the person.

the biggest problems in dating is not ethnicity or culture, it’s religion, that is the real bitch.

other than that no one cares, a friend of mine who is of Italian descent, married a girl in the US ( I think Cuban or Mexican descent), his daughter born in Germany is married to a Chinese guy, a lawyer in Cambridge UK.

that’s just normal shit that happens

Aethereal · Answer

Your question implies that the most ideal match for you is someone of your culture and skin tone. That is a somewhat unrealistic thing to believe, unless of course it doesn't matter who you date as long as they are your culture and race i. e. things like personality are unimportant.

A person who dates outside their race and culture is not "ashamed", they simply believe that a compatible partner may be found outside their race or culture (as much as within it). I am currently dating someone outside both sides of my race (I'm mixed race), and both sides of my culture. This is not because I'm ashamed of either of my parents' race, or cultures (Just as my mother was not ashamed of her race and culture when she dated my father). I simply don't believe that race and culture have (nor should have) any significant bearing on compatibility in a partner. Both factors are nowhere close to being deal breakers for me.

I'm sorry if I offend here, but I think your question also sets a rather unfortunate precedent in dating. Inspired by you, someone could also ask:
- Are people who wanna date outside their religion ashamed of their religion?
- Are people who wanna date outside their town/city/state/country ashamed of their town/city/state/country?
- Are people who wanna date outside their education level/income bracket ashamed of their educational level/financial position?
- Are people who wanna date outside their height/weight ashamed of their body?

It all seems really shallow to me, like the only important thing in a partner is their race, culture, etc. I don't believe in reducing or stereotyping a potential partner based on one feature they may or may not have, especially when it's a feature that they cannot change. How would you feel if your ideal partner told you that you were perfect, but he/she couldn't date you because you were from the wrong city, too rich/poor, too short/tall/fat/thin, wrong kind of christian/muslim, etc. ?

Ifriqyan · Answer

I find it weird how you conflate race and culture. Race is a social construct anyways or at least, the borders between each races aren't really clear.
Anyways if we want to use the archaic race division then I'm a "Caucasian" and culturally speaking I think I - as a North African, have little cultural similarities with a Latvian or Dane.
I don't care about race at all. In fact, I care about values and religion the most. If in the afterlife I find out that my offspring ended up being indonesian or nigerian 500 years later I really wouldn't care but I'd be happy to know they still share my values and religion. After all, my Arabian and Iberian ancestor perhaps had no idea their offspring would wind up being North African. People have mixed and inter mingled since the beginning of times... even with other human species lol.

With all that being said, I do prefer my own culture , not because I think we're superior or anything like that, but I want to be able to communicate in my mother tongue and to share the same religion and not have to explain all the cultural differences.
People who specifically go out to date other ethnicities and dismiss their own are weird to me.

"However, I can kinda understand white people in a sense because society seems to be attacking them and their culture. Other cultures are more at peace and allowed to celebrate it."
I personally don't do this, but seeing the history of Western Europeans, I think it's understanble after they spent centuries repressing and shaming other people's cultures.

user4477388 · Answer

Personally I don't care if someone is Asian , black , white , hispanic , purple or green if I'm dating someone it's because I find them to be attractive and I enjoy who they are. There's things about them I enjoy , there smile , sense of humor, maybe it's they like the same things or that they like something different. There's a host of things I like. If you're dating someone there's a wow factor something that turns you on , makes you smile , makes you blush , excites you , they bring something to the table. I'm so tired of hearing the race issue that politions police , judges and civil rights groups they love to stir the pot that's how people like Al Sharpton make their money. I don't believe it's a big a issue that it's made out to be. Most people weather they are white , black , Asian , hispanic get along with each other. Yes there's people who don't like people of color but they are the minority not the majority. No one should ever be ashamed of the color of their skin , or culture more should they apologize for being white , black , Asian , hispanic or any other race , color , culture one should be proud of who they are and where they come from. The world is a wonderful melting pot.

bobalife · Answer

Nah I love my cultural and my Asian community; however, as I get older I become more open minded and experiences. My preferences is changing due to that influence. I am pretty Americanized living in dual cultures. I’m not a typical traditional Asian nor American Asian neither. I prefer Caucasian, Asians, and recently discovering I’m becoming more attracted to Hispanics too. But I’m starting to prefer less Asians (despite I still find them attractive and all) because I don’t think I fit the box of that traditional Asian nor the typical Asian American. We all just have different preferences due to our backgrounds, experiences, or what we find attractive.

OlderThanILook · Answer

in my opinion if you think race matters at all for basically anything, you're stuck in the past. I don't give a shit about race/ethnicity. Like it's cool if you want to share your culture with me, but I'm not going to like or dislike anyone more because they look like me. I can tell you right now that I'd never date someone whose reason for liking me is that I am black. I actually hate that shit. Same thing goes for everything else as well. I personally would never work somewhere that only hired black people. I would never willingly shop/give business to a company that only catered to a single race. Just seems very backwards to me.

TruthBringer · Answer

As someone who has dated outside his race, culture and country, I can say it has absolutely nothing to do with being "ashamed" of my own culture, but rather get with someone you have a connection with. Whether it's someone of my own race or not. Unforunately, there are downsides that come with dating someone outside your race, like racism (which I have sadly dealt with). I'm currently dating someone of my own race, culture and country and it has more to do with me having a connection with her.

Other than that, I find women of a variaty of races and cultures beautiful. Not just my own.

wysiwyg2525 · Answer

I am not ashamed of my culture. I just like to date outside my race. I belive that their are many great people out their. You can find happiness in anyone. We are no longer in th 20'and 40's era. If you find some other then your race attractive then you should go for it. There is nothing wrong with it as long as that person treats you in return with respect and like you for you and not what you have. Dont let anyone take advantage of you. Oh and its ok not to pay for the first date etc. Don't get mad if they don't. It should be equal to began with not wow I'm old school I'm paying for the first date. It should not be up to the that person your dating to pay for a date. So if your looking for a freebie. Then just move along. Everyone here works had for their money and dating can be expensive. Be responsible and respectable to eachother. Always have boundaries and never fall into to abusive trap mentally or physically.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I don't care about skin color or ethnic cultural stuff, I care about body shapes and proportions (though those tend to come in every race), and I care about personality type, hobbies, intelligence, sense of humor, and compassion level.

Culture is more a follower thing, people who want to fit in rather than express themselves and thats just not my thing.

I tend to grab bits here and there from whatever cultural specific things I like and discard what I don't when expressing myself. The same would be true for anyone I was compatible with dating wise.

I think the only exception is maybe nerd/geek culture, I love that sort of stuff as a whole, but thats not tied to a racial background.

Nazgol · Answer

No. They might just not like some things about their own race & not agree with it, so they will look to expand their options. That's how it was in my case, I married someone outside of my race. Also depends where the person grows up. If they grow up young in another country other than their birth, they might also not see it as wrong to date different people. Also my case

Mr_longLegz · Answer

I dont think so. I will admit I am definitely ashamed of my fellow crackers out there. The only time I have ever, and I mean EVER seen any of my white friends be held accountable for fucking anything is if they get caught red handed, ny someone who's not their parents, and is throw on blast from many different angles... and even then they won't get it, they just say sorry and act like they give a damn when truthfully, if you gave a single shred of a fuck and had the brains to think stuff all the way through, with many differentperspectives, you'd never have wound up in that situation in the first place.

dtweed1996 · Answer

Not really interracial relationships and marriage has been illegal until 1967 and I dated girl who were of my race until I was 17 when I kept meeting girls who were an opposite race from ne and suddenly fell for them not caring about the difference anyway I am not really a player so I did not really fall for either frequently I just met and associated with them until I find the perfect woman to be mine forever and then how I found my girl who is opposite race from me only messed up part is she does not know her nationality besides American

Avicenna · Answer

Well, there are a number of reason you might do this. Maybe you live someplace where you're a tiny minority and have to date outside of your group to find a partner. Maybe for some reason you're considered undesirable by your group or don't like some cultural aspects of it. Maybe you find different features more attractive.

Preferences usually aren't binary- people who date outside their group usually date inside it as well or would like to.

Toast792 · Answer

No. For me, it's not really that I want to date someone outside my race specifically. Just if I like someone in that way, I would want to date them, regardless of race. I just don't see why race should be a big deal when it comes to this kind of thing..

MelaninQueen21 · Answer

I am a young Black woman and although I love my brothers, I'd prefer to date and marry someone outside my race! I've just always been attracted to others races of life. Not a bad thing at all. And I wouldn't trade my race for anything, especially White.

Biancam13 · Answer

Sometimes. I think people date outside their culture for a variety of reasons but yes, this is one of the possible reasons. There are some who want to kinda ‘escape’ their race/culture by hoping to start a family with mixed race kids that don’t identify completely with their own race. However it could also be that they just find that ethnicity more physically attractive than their own race.

Anonymous · Answer

No. I do not have such a preference. But i am reluctant to date someone from my own race because i am dark skinned and in my "culture" dark =ugly and less desirable than a fair skinned woman. Most men of my "culture" will only see my skin tone as an undesirable trait that they may just put up with.

t-8900 · Answer

Nope. I'm just nuts for black hair and brown eyes. I'm Italian and there are many similarities in family structure of Italian and Hispanic Families. I am just strongly attracted to Latinas. Maybe it's because I grew up in a heavily Hispanic community and went to the same churches and events. I don't know but I love the people.

Anonymous · Answer

Only Americans think race & skin tone is the same as culture. Man they'd be in for a rude awakening anywhere else in the world.

Race is not culture. Nor is skin tone. Japanese & Chinese are both of the "Asian" race and have the same complexion in general but they are not of the same culture. Just as how British & Germans are of the "Caucasian" race and have the same complexion in general but they are not of the same culture.

Dargil · Answer

I am married to a Filipina because of her good character. Western women seem to want to be men with tits and vaginas and have abandoned traditional femininity.
I am not ashamed of my culture although corrupt democrats have undermined it. It will recover.

pleasestopthis · Answer

In my personal case, I like people for themselves, I don't really mind their skin color, ethnicity or culture that much, if they have what I'm looking for. If I like the person, what's the problem?
It sounds kind of prejudiced to reject someone of another race that's compatible with me and it's a really good person because "it'll look like I'm ashamed of my own culture" smh.

SpiderManFan2002 · Answer

I’d disagree with you. I’m open for getting with any guy whether he’s in my culture or not- I’m not ashamed of my culture, I just wouldn’t want to limit myself to people only within my ethnicity and culture.

Floppy2112 · Answer

If you date outside your culture you're a racist because you are appropriating. And if you date inside your culture, you're a racist because you aren't giving other cultures outside your own a chance.
Everybody who engages in these race tropes ought to be ashamed of their unbelievable stupidity.
Sheeple.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I am open to dating outside of my race. But I could also be completely happy being married to a white girl.

I am ashamed of my culture, yes. But it isn't really race-related. It's American culture that I'm ashamed of. For that, white people and black people are both equally to blame. (Maybe some of the others are as well, but those two are the main culprits.)

lovelyhoneybones · Answer

What do you think someone has to be ashamed to date outside of their race? I personally like black guys as I am black myself but for many reasons I prefer to date other men. The main one being I'm able to connect with guys of all ethnicites.

shalt · Answer

Well I'm white and all I get and hear from every single other race other then white is some bullshit racist connotation, every single time, so yeah I love my white snow bunny's but I'll break every other ethnicity heart and bed, because I'm tired of the hate

Ryfyle · Answer

Probably not, but What do I know, I'm just some White Guy. A Being that is both impotent, incompetent, loser; Or an Alabaster Demigod made from hate and rapes the Devil depending what MSM is feeling that day. I doubt those dating outside there race are ashamed of their Culture, Infact they might introduce those that they date to their culture.

disgustingweebtrash · Answer

Skin colour and race are not the same thing

A black person can easily be a patriot and culturally "white" just as much as an Asian person.

They call the term "Westernisation" but in reality, if white people were to emigrate to Asia their children and their children will "Asianise" these are normalities, but I do agree with the statement you made in regards to their culture being attacked

TrainingDay · Answer

No, not in every case but in some yes. But race is not culture. A black American and a white American have the same culture. Let people decide what they want their love story to be. Not everyone gives a fuck about culture. I'll make my own fucking culture tyvm

BeMuse · Answer

Lol, White people didn’t get were we are by pandering to minorities moaning and bitching. I think you should date whoever you are attracted to get along with. If you intentionally want to avoid your own race, then you probably have a lot of issues.

Barry88 · Answer

Skin colour doesn't define culture.

I can be attracted to women of any race. It doesn't mean I'm ashamed of my own culture when I date a woman who isn't from the same race and/or coming from the same country.

Feelicks · Answer

I like to keep my options open, I find Asian women often appreciate the kindness that white women take for granted.

Levin · Answer

I mean I don't think I could give very good analysis on this. All I can say is that I'm most attracted to white women.  Generally, the paler the better.

Holisticapproachsara · Answer

No not like that its just i... love white dicks more than life❤️🔥omg i am ashamed of my self that I wrote this 😂

hahahmm · Answer

1. Race and culture are not the same thing. 2. Each racial group has many cultures within it. 3. Yeah, people who want to attack other races like to overlook this.

just_a_potato · Answer

Uhhh no? I love my heritage but I'm in love with a white man right now. It doesn't change how I feel about my culture though, he's just the guy I love lol.

NotARobberYet · Answer

In my case it definitely is. I think white women are pathetic and we white guys deserve better. We're too good for them.  My preferences are Latinas, East Asians and Arab girls.

Anonymous · Answer

The couple in the pic are cute. and they're both pretty attractive. And no, I wouldn't care, if I dated someone from outside my culture.

Anonymous · Answer

Nope i date outside my race because why not? If the men of my race are statisically doing dating out more than the women of my race does then why do I owe them that loyalty. I'll go happily skipping and all where ever I am loved.

Hyped_up_on_coffee · Answer

No, we are a minority. Most of the guys who are interested in me just happen to be white. I date black and Hispanic as well.

itsnotme123 · Answer

Biologically speaking a diverse gene pool tends to produce healthier offspring (basically the opposite of incest). Psychologically speaking, some people aren't racist trash, so skin tone isn't really that big of a factor

StacyMeet · Answer

And this gets me thinking. If I am white, does my preference for white men make me racist?

Dinklex3 · Answer

No, lol. I don't care about skin color when dating.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Nope i just find women hot and susprise there is many of all races and cultures.

GothQueen12 · Answer

No, it is no differnt than a white woman dating a black man

PinkHamster · Answer

They should date and be proud of who they’re and what is their culture

_Troian_ · Answer

Not everyone but yeah there are some losers with inferior complex who see their culture&race more below than the others. They feel accepted whenever they date with people from diffrent race.

stargazeraug1989 · Answer

Not necessarily. That may be true for some, but certainly not for all. I am profoundly proud to be African American, but white and Iranian women are just too damn gorgeous to ignore. 😍

na2398 · Answer

I don't think that anyone would date outside their race for this reason. Why keep your options limited to just your race? Love ain't bound by these barriers.

jshm2 · Answer

That's as daft as saying buying/using "foreign" products is "unpatriotic".

more_than_a_guy · Answer

First, you are from unknown dark heritage, so how will you know your girl will be as same culture as you? For example dark Mediterranean is like dark Latin.
Second, mostly no to your question, some people are just open.

Browneye57 · Answer

No, they meet people at their best, just for whom they are, not based on their race. Or put another way, they're not race-baiters like you. ;)

Anonymous · Answer

"I feel like there’s nothing more beautiful than finding someone within your culture and own skin tone because you are making a statement." You said it all right here ^. You're a fucking moron..

Jack9949 · Answer

Its wrong to assume that my phenotype determines which cultures I feel a calling towards. People are a product of their upbringing more so than their environment.

Cowboy6666 · Answer

i dont care about the race or culture, i just care if she is passionate for me, wants to live with me, open minded, and is loyal. if she ghost me or is racist or rude its a turn off for me

Phoenix98 · Answer

Nope just their preference and there isn’t anything wrong with that.

Anonymous · Answer

I guess a little bit. Sometimes I am ashamed of my culture and race. That's why I want the foreigners. But then I think that's not true and that's why I think I am doing to My Noble Own Race injustice.

Are people who want to date outside of their race ashamed of their culture?

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