It’s something I’ve just noticed recently. I feel like there’s nothing more beautiful than finding someone within your culture and own skin tone because you are making a statement. I am a dark guy (race unknown) and would love a dark girl (race unknown) because I love my brown skin and culture. However, I can kinda understand white people in a sense because society seems to be attacking them and their culture. Other cultures are more at peace and allowed to celebrate it.
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I’m not saying about those dating someone of another culture. I’m talking about your preference for so? Why does the preference exist? Seems sus. If you tell me you like me for what I am rather than who, that’s a strong pass.
Are people who want to date outside of their race ashamed of their culture?
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Not sure where you got that idea from. The race of a person never entered or enters my mind. When I see an attractive woman, I judge them on their looks and personality. My race, or theirs, is not ever an issue in any meaningful sense except insofar as it is part of their physical beauty.
For the record, I am white and my girlfriend is white. We have three children and have lived together for over a decade. Yet I have, in my life, dated three African-American women and one Japanese woman. If I were ashamed of my culture, by that logic, my girlfriend would never have had a chance.
In each case, I saw a person who attracted me and who I therefore wanted to be with. My culture had nothing to do with it.
In the case of the Japanese girl it was, in fact, a mutual interest in politics. We both worked in politics and that is how we met. Things just proceeded from there and probably would have gone on but she wanted to return to Japan to run for a seat in the Diet - their national parliament.
We even talked about my moving to Japan with her - it was that serious. (We also, at one point, thought she might be pregnant.) However, I knew that would be the end of my work in politics and so things ended.
As an aside, she did go back to Japan and win a seat. She may still be in the Diet for all I know. though I did not follow her career for very long after we broke up.
As far as culture goes, dating a Japanese girl had its interesting aspects. The Japanese tend to express themselves, compared to Americans, more indirectly. Thus, for example, I rarely got a "no" answer to a question if I asked whether she wanted to do something. Instead I would get a question to my question.
For example:
ME: "Want to go to the movies tonight?"
HER: "Did you hear about that new restaurant in Georgetown? I have been wanting to try that for a while?"
Throw in a bit of broken English and you get a sense of the practical aspects of dating someone from a different culture. Suffice to say I truly loved her, but if anything, the frustrations caused by such indirection made me, if anything, appreciate my culture more. (Albeit, the problem with Americans is that you often get too much of a good thing.)
As to dating the African-American women, they were part of our culture. How the fact that they were a different race than mine would make me think differently of my own culture escapes me.
To be sure, there were some differences, but they were hardly insurmountable, let alone making me think differently about my "culture." We generally watched the same movies and television shows, read similar books, had political similarities and differences. Nothing so existential that it boiled down to elemental questions of culture.
To the degree that there were differences in "culture," they were differences that exist within my/our culture. The irony being that these tended to cut more deep than the differences that I had with the Japanese girl.
Thus I got pregnant one of the African-American girls I dated - and then she aborted my baby without telling me. It is, to this day, the most painful thing I have ever experienced and it hurts more than I can say. However, that was personal and to the extent that it reflected the wider culture it was a divide we see in the headlines every day.
Bottom line, dating outside of one's race can have a multiplicity of motivations. However, culture - shame about which or not - scarcely is a factor in the equation. Alternatively, it it is a factor, that relationship likely won't last long.
I won't say I agree or disagree. As a white woman who has never dated or had sex with anyone who was "fully white", I can see where you're coming from. I am kind of baffled by how stupid white boys my age are. They're entitled and think they can get any girl, regardless of what color they are.
However, I've dated a half-Japanese half-Filipino man, been with a man whose family is from Panama, and a man whose family is from Puerto Rico. I'm all over the map. I just think other cultures and races are so beautiful and different from mine. White guys just don't really excite me anymore, especially coming from a city that is predominantly white.
The only thing I don't like about dating other races is when they point out that I'm white all the time. I realize how pale I am and I realize that what I've been taught is different, but it's as rude as if I were to point out how weird something is in their culture or if I made a stereotypical assumption about their race. It's still rude and uncalled for. I shouldn't feel ashamed to be white just as they shouldn't feel ashamed to be whatever color they are.
" I am kind of baffled by how stupid white boys my age are. They're entitled and think they can get any girl, regardless of what color they are."
oooooh no it's your whole generation. I've been watching in horror. Tik Tok is absolute cancer. No offense but your a whole generation of entitled narcissists. I can't even begin to count the number of times young women said they expected to only settle for a man that makes 6 figures, has a 6 pack, and is 6' or taller.
@t-8900 Don't generalize my age group. I don't even have TikTok so I don't know about any of that. And I'm baffled that men still believe that all women are only willing to date someone who makes lots of money, is physically fit, and has height. I can tell you that's just not true. We literally don't care when it comes down to it. Young girls may say that but in the end, they're going out with a guy who works at the local greasy spoon, you know? They don't know what their future holds for them and neither does the guy. But they choose to love them anyway.
i generalized your age group because you generalized a whole gender within your age group.
"And I'm baffled that men still believe that all women are only willing to date someone who makes lots of money, is physically fit, and has height"
that's because I hear it straight from the horses mouth all the time. Go watch Kevin Samuels, Better Bachelor, or FreshandFit and just listen to the women bury themselves constantly on the 3-6 rule. You're still in college right? The second you get out full time in the work force I bet your views are going to change drastically because you aren't gonna want a date a man "beneath you" making less money than you. Bet money on that!
A young person who can admit they did something wrong? Well young lady, there's hope for you yet in the world! I think we all need more humility. Maybe you're one of the 30% of women who aren't going for the top 10% but just know that 70% of the female population is and are basing their experiences with those men that sleep around constantly and have no need to settle on all men and that's the whole "where have all the good men gone"? Those same women wouldn't even notice my ass at the WaWa. They got no time for an avg cat like me. I make $16 an hour, take care of myself and all that. But thats not a catch because they're Miss "PhD". Okay, enjoy your cats! I can tell you that men dont care about income like women do. They care about being treated right and coming home to a pretty face that takes care of their needs. And I assure you those needs are few and very simple. A man only has 2. One is good food and the other well we all know. I'll tell it to you straight since you are still young and you can know this. Men feel most loved and appreciated in the bedroom. You take care of him and he's gonna treat you like a queen. So long as you aren't gunning for those top tier guys that never settle. Good luck to you.
@t-8900 I'm for sure not one of those women. I know what it's like to make $10 as a hostess in a restaurant, it's needlessly difficult. I appreciate a determined guy but I wouldn't care if his income did or didn't match mine. I'm still waiting for that perfectly unperfect guy to come. :) <3 And good luck to you! There's a special lady out there for you somewhere!
well it didn't work out lol. Oh well. She changed her mind about it because she wanted a different path in life and I didn't want to move out of country to be with her. It's one thing if I moved to where she was because I'd be willing to make a move that makes sense. But she wants to move to Australia where I have no connects. Here in the USA I can make connections for work and business but not in Australia. I told her no way I could bring a decent income into the home going there. So ya back to being single. It is what it is I guess. I can't focus on heartbreak. That's happened too many times to me now. I just need to try again and hope I can find someone who values the person I am and is willing to go half way in the relationship. I can't do all the sacrifices alone. Being a couple both need to make some sacrifices.
@SunsetRise "I am kind of baffled by how stupid white boys my age are."
Oh, the pot calling the kettle black. Have you never looked yourself in the mirror, white girl?
You talk as if you white gurls weren't stupid yourselves. Lack of self-awareness? But I'm sure you're going to complain because I generalized your pathetic demographic group.
@SunsetRise "" I just think other cultures and races are so beautiful and different from mine. "
You're almost right on this one. Almost because you failed to mention that the lack of attractiveness in our ethnicity doesn't come from white men...
White men are considered the most attractive men among men of all ethnicities. There are tons of studies in that sense, especially those ones about race preferences in the dating scene.
Meanwhile, you white girls compete with black girls for the LAST place in men's dating preferences. Oh, black girls at least have racism and a lack of representation in the media as an excuse...
Um no. I'm a white woman with strong french descent and I love my culture, yet the guy I'm dating is korean with a strong korean culture. Still love my culture... not ashamed.
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+1 y
Your preference is Koreans? I don’t blame you at all.
I don’t try to date Chinese guys cause I don’t act like a Chinese girl - I’m not naive and trusting and submissive and quiet and unconditionally obedient so I assume Chinese guys won’t like me in comparison to other Chinese girls as well I do not have a close bond with Chinese culture cause I do not have a close bond with my Chinese parents so I do not relate to most a Chinese guys - I am also too religious for most Chinese guys which is another thing that makes a mismatch - even with Chinese Christians, I’m more religious than they are willing to accept.
@t-8900 its really interesting to know she is ethnically Chinese😂i always followed her questions. And imagined her an old white woman. Wearing a cross and talking about Jesus. This teaches me that psychologically we can have very false perceptions about others😂. She is probably a cute Chinese lady who looks 20 years old. Asians look 20 years younger than their real age
I am Caucasian and I have primarily dated Caucasians but I have also dated Asians, Hispanics, and a native American. I don't hate my race but I am attracted to some women of other races and sometimes we meet and the attraction is there. I am currently dating a Chinese woman and she's a great woman - because she is a great person and not because she is Chinese.
No. I date white women because I grew up in an interracial family. Also... i just white girls attractive. Its just a biological thing. Like blue eyes. Brown hair color. Or long straight hair.
I date all races by the way. So black women dont hate. I think you guys are sexy too.
No one really worries who they date and what has race (a stupid colonial name) got to do with culture? It seems only some people (potentially racists) think there is a specific preference.
in the UK, it’s a huge mix of cultures and ethnicities.
for example, you may have a black guy whose great grand parents came from Jamaica dating an Indian girl whose grand parents came from South Africa.
or they could be from India, from Hong Kong etc etc.
I have noticed a HUGE amount of Americans seem to be asking this type of question.
Why is it so important, over here no one really gives a damn other than they like the person.
the biggest problems in dating is not ethnicity or culture, it’s religion, that is the real bitch.
other than that no one cares, a friend of mine who is of Italian descent, married a girl in the US ( I think Cuban or Mexican descent), his daughter born in Germany is married to a Chinese guy, a lawyer in Cambridge UK.
Your question implies that the most ideal match for you is someone of your culture and skin tone. That is a somewhat unrealistic thing to believe, unless of course it doesn't matter who you date as long as they are your culture and race i. e. things like personality are unimportant.
A person who dates outside their race and culture is not "ashamed", they simply believe that a compatible partner may be found outside their race or culture (as much as within it). I am currently dating someone outside both sides of my race (I'm mixed race), and both sides of my culture. This is not because I'm ashamed of either of my parents' race, or cultures (Just as my mother was not ashamed of her race and culture when she dated my father). I simply don't believe that race and culture have (nor should have) any significant bearing on compatibility in a partner. Both factors are nowhere close to being deal breakers for me.
I'm sorry if I offend here, but I think your question also sets a rather unfortunate precedent in dating. Inspired by you, someone could also ask: - Are people who wanna date outside their religion ashamed of their religion? - Are people who wanna date outside their town/city/state/country ashamed of their town/city/state/country? - Are people who wanna date outside their education level/income bracket ashamed of their educational level/financial position? - Are people who wanna date outside their height/weight ashamed of their body?
It all seems really shallow to me, like the only important thing in a partner is their race, culture, etc. I don't believe in reducing or stereotyping a potential partner based on one feature they may or may not have, especially when it's a feature that they cannot change. How would you feel if your ideal partner told you that you were perfect, but he/she couldn't date you because you were from the wrong city, too rich/poor, too short/tall/fat/thin, wrong kind of christian/muslim, etc. ?
I find it weird how you conflate race and culture. Race is a social construct anyways or at least, the borders between each races aren't really clear. Anyways if we want to use the archaic race division then I'm a "Caucasian" and culturally speaking I think I - as a North African, have little cultural similarities with a Latvian or Dane. I don't care about race at all. In fact, I care about values and religion the most. If in the afterlife I find out that my offspring ended up being indonesian or nigerian 500 years later I really wouldn't care but I'd be happy to know they still share my values and religion. After all, my Arabian and Iberian ancestor perhaps had no idea their offspring would wind up being North African. People have mixed and inter mingled since the beginning of times... even with other human species lol.
With all that being said, I do prefer my own culture , not because I think we're superior or anything like that, but I want to be able to communicate in my mother tongue and to share the same religion and not have to explain all the cultural differences. People who specifically go out to date other ethnicities and dismiss their own are weird to me.
"However, I can kinda understand white people in a sense because society seems to be attacking them and their culture. Other cultures are more at peace and allowed to celebrate it." I personally don't do this, but seeing the history of Western Europeans, I think it's understanble after they spent centuries repressing and shaming other people's cultures.
Race is not a social construct. Race is based on the evolutionary concept of gene pools. You can’t pick and choose which concepts of the theory of evolution you want to call science and which ones you want to call social constructs. Just because there is a degree of fluidity to the concept of gene pools does not render them null and void.
According to science as per DNA studies there are four races. These races being Caucasoid, Mongoloid, Aboriginal and Negroid. Complain, cry, refute, scream, stop your feet and wave your hands in the air like you just don’t care because that isn’t changing no matter what emotion you’re feeling in your head.
@NorthernLightWP Ok mister scientist, then explain why you and I, according to your stupid American racial classifications, are "White" but some blonde Mexican isn't? Don't throw meaningless words like "muh according gene pool" thinking you proved smth without explaining it, because most scientist agree that your stupid racial census is a social construct.
People have always had ways of othering , but on a plethora of differences factors.
Race and culture are pretty closely tied. Race is just boxes that we’re put in depending on our features for the most part (very over simplified). Your example of a blonde Mexican could be indigenous but since their hair is blonde they are probably mixed with European so they’d be mestizo. Probably
Personally I don't care if someone is Asian , black , white , hispanic , purple or green if I'm dating someone it's because I find them to be attractive and I enjoy who they are. There's things about them I enjoy , there smile , sense of humor, maybe it's they like the same things or that they like something different. There's a host of things I like. If you're dating someone there's a wow factor something that turns you on , makes you smile , makes you blush , excites you , they bring something to the table. I'm so tired of hearing the race issue that politions police , judges and civil rights groups they love to stir the pot that's how people like Al Sharpton make their money. I don't believe it's a big a issue that it's made out to be. Most people weather they are white , black , Asian , hispanic get along with each other. Yes there's people who don't like people of color but they are the minority not the majority. No one should ever be ashamed of the color of their skin , or culture more should they apologize for being white , black , Asian , hispanic or any other race , color , culture one should be proud of who they are and where they come from. The world is a wonderful melting pot.
Nah I love my cultural and my Asian community; however, as I get older I become more open minded and experiences. My preferences is changing due to that influence. I am pretty Americanized living in dual cultures. I’m not a typical traditional Asian nor American Asian neither. I prefer Caucasian, Asians, and recently discovering I’m becoming more attracted to Hispanics too. But I’m starting to prefer less Asians (despite I still find them attractive and all) because I don’t think I fit the box of that traditional Asian nor the typical Asian American. We all just have different preferences due to our backgrounds, experiences, or what we find attractive.
in my opinion if you think race matters at all for basically anything, you're stuck in the past. I don't give a shit about race/ethnicity. Like it's cool if you want to share your culture with me, but I'm not going to like or dislike anyone more because they look like me. I can tell you right now that I'd never date someone whose reason for liking me is that I am black. I actually hate that shit. Same thing goes for everything else as well. I personally would never work somewhere that only hired black people. I would never willingly shop/give business to a company that only catered to a single race. Just seems very backwards to me.
As someone who has dated outside his race, culture and country, I can say it has absolutely nothing to do with being "ashamed" of my own culture, but rather get with someone you have a connection with. Whether it's someone of my own race or not. Unforunately, there are downsides that come with dating someone outside your race, like racism (which I have sadly dealt with). I'm currently dating someone of my own race, culture and country and it has more to do with me having a connection with her.
Other than that, I find women of a variaty of races and cultures beautiful. Not just my own.
I am not ashamed of my culture. I just like to date outside my race. I belive that their are many great people out their. You can find happiness in anyone. We are no longer in th 20'and 40's era. If you find some other then your race attractive then you should go for it. There is nothing wrong with it as long as that person treats you in return with respect and like you for you and not what you have. Dont let anyone take advantage of you. Oh and its ok not to pay for the first date etc. Don't get mad if they don't. It should be equal to began with not wow I'm old school I'm paying for the first date. It should not be up to the that person your dating to pay for a date. So if your looking for a freebie. Then just move along. Everyone here works had for their money and dating can be expensive. Be responsible and respectable to eachother. Always have boundaries and never fall into to abusive trap mentally or physically.
No. They might just not like some things about their own race & not agree with it, so they will look to expand their options. That's how it was in my case, I married someone outside of my race. Also depends where the person grows up. If they grow up young in another country other than their birth, they might also not see it as wrong to date different people. Also my case
I dont think so. I will admit I am definitely ashamed of my fellow crackers out there. The only time I have ever, and I mean EVER seen any of my white friends be held accountable for fucking anything is if they get caught red handed, ny someone who's not their parents, and is throw on blast from many different angles... and even then they won't get it, they just say sorry and act like they give a damn when truthfully, if you gave a single shred of a fuck and had the brains to think stuff all the way through, with many differentperspectives, you'd never have wound up in that situation in the first place.
I don't care about skin color or ethnic cultural stuff, I care about body shapes and proportions (though those tend to come in every race), and I care about personality type, hobbies, intelligence, sense of humor, and compassion level.
Culture is more a follower thing, people who want to fit in rather than express themselves and thats just not my thing.
I tend to grab bits here and there from whatever cultural specific things I like and discard what I don't when expressing myself. The same would be true for anyone I was compatible with dating wise.
I think the only exception is maybe nerd/geek culture, I love that sort of stuff as a whole, but thats not tied to a racial background.
Not really interracial relationships and marriage has been illegal until 1967 and I dated girl who were of my race until I was 17 when I kept meeting girls who were an opposite race from ne and suddenly fell for them not caring about the difference anyway I am not really a player so I did not really fall for either frequently I just met and associated with them until I find the perfect woman to be mine forever and then how I found my girl who is opposite race from me only messed up part is she does not know her nationality besides American
Well, there are a number of reason you might do this. Maybe you live someplace where you're a tiny minority and have to date outside of your group to find a partner. Maybe for some reason you're considered undesirable by your group or don't like some cultural aspects of it. Maybe you find different features more attractive.
Preferences usually aren't binary- people who date outside their group usually date inside it as well or would like to.
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+1 y
My society is homogeneous. Don’t got problems dating.
No. For me, it's not really that I want to date someone outside my race specifically. Just if I like someone in that way, I would want to date them, regardless of race. I just don't see why race should be a big deal when it comes to this kind of thing..
I am a young Black woman and although I love my brothers, I'd prefer to date and marry someone outside my race! I've just always been attracted to others races of life. Not a bad thing at all. And I wouldn't trade my race for anything, especially White.
Sometimes. I think people date outside their culture for a variety of reasons but yes, this is one of the possible reasons. There are some who want to kinda ‘escape’ their race/culture by hoping to start a family with mixed race kids that don’t identify completely with their own race. However it could also be that they just find that ethnicity more physically attractive than their own race.
I am married to a Filipina because of her good character. Western women seem to want to be men with tits and vaginas and have abandoned traditional femininity. I am not ashamed of my culture although corrupt democrats have undermined it. It will recover.
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