Why would a best friend flirt with the guy you said you liked?

[Anonymous]

Why, even if they already have a boyfriend? She followed him on insta and slid into his dm after I told her we are talking/I like him. Anyone had a bff like this?

[HollyK21]

I had a best friend like that, we cut ties few years ago but were friends for years. I tried to make a lot of sense of things she did, particularly her doing what your friend did, and honestly I think it’s just lacking girl code and wanting the attention on herself.



Hard to know the true motive, their minds are just wired differently than ours lol. But at the end of the day though I wouldn’t call her a good friend at all. Your true bestie would not overstep those boundaries and risk hurting or losing you in her life. You should call her out on this, and yeah it’s hard I know first hand but she crossed a boundary and did something very hurtful, so she should know.

[Asker]

I’m so sorry you also had a friend like this! It’s really hurtful and backstabbing. I told my friend to cut it out and she played dumb like “what’s wrong with me following him on instagram”? But I knew what she was doing. She also got with my ex boyfriend so I think she’s after every guy I’ve been with

[HollyK21]

Likewise, I’m sorry you’re going through this currently! As someone who’s been where you are, I would advise you take a big step back from that friendship. You’ve been vocal about how you feel, she knows you like the guy and still took it upon herself to add and DM him, which is so far past being OK.

If the guy entertains her DM at all then cut him off too, let her have him and move on from the both. Would it be hard to move away from her? Maybe, it depends how fed up you truly are with her mistreatment of you. But you deserve a good friend in your life, the sort of person who wouldn’t disrespect you or cross boundaries; who isn’t so ruthless and craving male attention to that extent. That is a deep rooted personality trait that she’s spent more of her life feeding into than trying to do better, not only for herself but for the friends who love her and she’s backstabbed.

[Guccigabbana18]

^^ this op. Can I also add that these girls are jealous and insecure so just feel bad for them while keeping your distance. When it happened to me, the “friend” got drunk one night and told me she’s always been jealous of me. You have to be careful of these friends because there’s no limit to what they will do to betray you. Wish you both luck and better friends

[Asker]

Thank you you’re both wise and very helpful!!! I think this was the confirmation I was looking for to unfriend my bestie. Been a long time coming.

[HollyK21]

@Guccigabbana18 I had a similar thing happen, my ex-bestie got drunk one night, cried to me and told me that she was just jealous because the guy she liked was into me. This only showed me even more how selfish and inconsiderate of me that she was, because at the time she was the more outgoing, loud one and got all the guys, while I kinda kept to myself and didn’t get the attention she did. I have one guy like me and all of a sudden she’s so despaired over it, as if she ever paid him attention until he liked me. It’s just disgusting, hateful behavior. OP, I’m glad we were able to affirm your choice to end that relationship. She sounds very toxic and you deserve so much more. You don’t have to cut her off harshly, the way I went about it was just creating more and more space, being more unavailable and only cordial since we went to the same bars (small town), and she can’t stay away from me while drunk. But I very much move past that.

[Guccigabbana18]

Oh boy I’ve had this happen. It’s pure jealousy. Also selfishness when girls do this to their friends. They are jealous of you and are selfish enough to therefore compete with you for your man. They also are selfish in that they don’t care that you will be hurt from it. They think getting attention from your man will make themselves feel better about themselves. I would say girls like this have self esteem issues as well and they don’t actually like you.

[Asker]

That does make sense, thank you girl 💕 I do get the sense that my bff secretly hates me sometimes, she gives me these looks and she also hooked up with my ex a week after we broke up. She’s weird ahah

[Guccigabbana18]

She hooked up with your ex? Girlie you KNOW this is a pattern. If you keep being her friend you are doing this to yourself

[Asker]

I know lol. I’m going to drop her

[Guccigabbana18]

Good! Good luck and hope you find friends who care about you and love you like you deserve to be loved

[Asker]

Thanks xx

[Anonymous]

Because girls are immature catty assholes who have to compete with every other female as some biological need to be the most desired.

[In_Trance]

Because you're not

[Asker]

What? 😂