My boyfriend won't let me touch his phone? (Page 2)
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Why the hell do you feel the urge to have access to his phone? This really says more about you than about him.
I’ve had women go through my stuff in the past, and it has ended relationships. I literally started writing in code because how do I know some girl I’m dating won’t go through my things again, read my journal, or stalk me on some stupid social media site.
What he has on his phone really isn't any of your business.
I wouldn't want my girlfriend (given that I had one) going through my texts and such either. He's probably only protective of his phone because you're so pushy about it anyway.
It's just hard to date someone knowing that they're not 100% open with you. I can't help but assume he's hiding something or cheating. And if he can't give me that peace of mind, then I can't continue the relationship.
Seems like he's a little bit TOO secretive over it but you shouldn't want to look at his phone anyway. Maybe he has a really deep secret that perfectly harmless but he just doesn't want you to know which is okay.
I have no secrets. I tell him everything. It only hurts me that he feels like he can't tell me something. It just makes my mind think the absolute worst (cheating). Why can't he just give me some peace of mind and let me check his phone? Trusting blindly is just setting yourself up to be hurt and to be cheated on.
I have secrets that my girlfriend doesn't know about, but they wouldn't affect our relationship in any way at all, I just don't want her to know about them. Maybe one day I will tell her to feel a bit better about it but she isn't going to say 'omg why did you never tell me this' because it isn't that kind of secret. Maybe it's just something like that? Either way he's not reacting very well to your concerns, you're right that he should try to make you feel better about it or offer some kind of explanation.
Thank you. Instead he just shuts me out and tells me he "has nothing to say about it" ugh. It makes me so angry. I just feel like there's a huge wall between us that he keeps building and I keep trying to break it down.
Yeah he's definitely not doing the right thing there. It sounds like it's going to seriously damage your relationship unless you both sort it out. You'll figure it out though :)
I just feel like I'm the only one that's trying... It's hard. I hate giving in to him and just letting things go his way every time no matter how much it bothers me. You're a guy, would could I say or do to maybe get him to just understand where I'm coming from?
Just let him know how much it is bothering you and see how he responds. Let him know that the more he doesn't tell you the more you're just gonna assume he's cheating on you. Basically just tell him how you feel about it and do your best to get him to explain. He may well just get defensive which means that he'll never tell you no matter what. It's a tough one to answer because I've not had first-hand experience in something like this. He still could just be protective of his phone because it is his privacy after all. I'd be very uncomfortable if my girlfriend was sat there on my phone, not because I have something to hide but because I just think 'oh no what if I wrote a text to a friend about her and she sees it' kind of thing.
Seems reasonable to me. We all have secrets, and a phone is a physical symbol of the secret.
He might be up to shenanigans, he might not.
But his secretive nature doesn't mean anything
It means everything when it puts our relationship on the line. If he can't even go to the bathroom without leaving his phone in the room with me, that's a red flag to me and makes me suspicious. If he has nothing to hide, why can't he just say "here to go babe, look I have nothing to hide from you". ?
Because everyone has things to hide. Respecting that is part of love and trust.
@FilthyPervert Okay "filthypervert" because I'd definitely spend my life with someone that could be hiding something from me that could break my heart. Trust is to be gained. Blind trust is awful for a relationship.
trust has to be blind to be trust.
@FilthyPervert I disagree. Very much so.
That's why you will end up alone.
@FilthyPervert No. I'll end up with a guy that I can fully trust and never have to go to sleep at night wondering if I'm the only girl in his life.
Well, this turned aggressively very quickly. Anyways, if its that big of an issue with him then break up with him
Thinking about it.
On a side note, the mentality of "if i have nothing to hide then i dont need privacy" is comparable to "i dont need free speech because i have nothing ro say"
Anyways, good luck to whatever you choose
I always take my phone to the bathroom lol Why do you want to see his phone so bad? Perhaps trust issues on both sides..
No, like if he went to get a water from the fridge he'd bring his phone with him. It's ridiculous. I want to see his phone because I feel like he's hiding something. Plain and simple. It's a gut feeling that's not going away and it bothers me. I let him know and he doesn't try to give me any peace of mind. He just gets mad.
If he starts to go out for long periods of time for no reason, then become worried..
He goes out and drinks all the time with his friends. I just need some kind of proof that he's actually doing what he says he's doing. It's been too long and I feel like I've been in the dark for so long.
I have found that when someone is super protective over their phone, they have something to hide
Sounds like there's trust issues with both of you. Either grow up and learn to get over it or confront him about it and tell him you're not willing to be with someone you don't trust.
You shouldn't go there that just shows you don't trust him.
Phones are private maybe he doesn't want to share with you certain things although I know this can be hard. If he really cheats you'll find out no matter what ! :)
How could I possibly trust him if we've been together over a year and I still can't as much as touch his phone? Trust is something that is earned.
nope trust is something that is given from the beginning just like respect :) you can only lose it if someone breaks it.
Okay, well he lied to me pretty badly about three weeks ago. Are you on the same page as me now?
oh sorry to hear but what kind of lie? Did he say sorry and regretted it? I unferstand your feeling but you will make things worse?
He went to a strip club and lied to me about it. I found out, he apologized for lying. But still. It's not okay. I'm so tired of giving in to guys and just putting it behind me. I need someone that loves me and gives me 100%. I'm not settling for less.
good that you don't settle for less I guess have a talk with him anf explain why you don't trust him and basically it's making a choice or you see his phone or leaving him.
Maybe he plays games on it that have microtransactions and he is ashamed of how stupid he would look by wasting so much money. I had a friend that spent over $700 on Clash Royale. lol
maybe he's planning a MASSIVE surprise birthday party and dosent want you to know
My birthday was last month lol
sorry i couldn't help and good luck with your relationship hope everything works out :)
It's his phone, fuck, leave the man to his privacy.
Just because you are his girlfriend does not make you automatically obligated to look into his phone
Im not saying this is 100% certain but he really could be insulted that you dont trust him
Some people just dont like people going through their personal stuff
He's probably cheating. I know loads of guys that do it and they're too much of a wimp to admit it to their gfs.
I don't understand why you don't take his word for it that he has nothing to hide.
I don't understand why he can't prove it. He's lied to me in the past, and hasn't tried to gain back my trust all the way.
Why didn't you mention that in your original question?
I'm mentioning it now. I just figured you'd assume I had a reason why I didn't feel like I could trust him...
Assuming is a mistake. We can only go by the information you give us.
Well now you know! do you have an opinion or not
Once that trust is broken, if the person decides to forgive and move forward.. boundaries must be put in place to regain that trust. 100% transparency. Been here before. He had the same demeanor, hide his phone at night, take it to even the bathroom w him, while in shower he'd lay it on the toilet next to him to be close to it, kept a lock on it... Slide it in the couch while watching tv. Come to find out, he was cheating w many women, many sites and social media. I forgave him w conditions.. those were broken very soon after as well. He currently doesn't have a lock though won't allow me to even touch his phone. So, everything in me thinks here we go again. So I get where your coming from. Once your lied to so many times, and cheated on several times.. it's always in the back of your mind and if he can't be transparent and ease your mind.. he's got something to hide. If he lived you and truly was sorry... There would be no hesitation.
A guy's phone always contains things you are not supposed to see.
That is kinda shady, but it could be just a privacy issue
Your in the right to feel doubt if he's acting this way. Mine did the same and I finally got ahold of his phone... He had been cheating, for 9 months it went on. Always trust your gut and pay attention to people's actions... They don't lie!
I suppose its because he want some sort of respect of privacy. Benefit of the doubt will help you here.
1 years have only been together a year why would you want to and 2 what's wrong with it me and my partner were together 18 years and never went through each other's phones