Why is this guy always alone?

[Anonymous]

There's this guy at work who's in his 30s and literally, he doesn't talk to ANYONE. Like sure, he'll talk to his bosses at work and say "hey" if you initiate by saying "hey" first. However, whenever I see him at lunch and dinner, he always sits alone. (Our staff all live on property) and I know for a fact that he doesn't hang out with anyone outside of work on property. He rides his BIKE to a supermarket that is a 20 minute drive away to buy food and cigarettes when our workplace offers staff shuttles to the supermarket. And, if he sees a large group of people, he'll do everything he can to avoid them.

Is he highly introverted or does he just dislike people and doesn't want to get attached? Someone suggested that he may have gone through a traumatic experience and now has trouble trusting people. He is so damn mysterious that I just want to get to know him but it's so hard to when he is so detached from everyone.

Updates

+1 y

UPDATE: So, a few days ago, I finally got the chance to work with him one-on-one and at first, we barely talked and if we did, it was about work but eventually, he started the conversation by asking about the hat I was wearing and then we started talking. Eventually, I asked him why he was always alone. He just laughed and said something like "Why am I always alone? I'm just such a loner" in a very joking manner. He then continued to ask me more stuff about me.

Updates

+1 y

UPDATE (CONTINUED): Overall, he didn't give me much of a chance to ask about him but he mostly asked me stuff about me. I then saw him again that night and he smiled and waved when he saw me and he literally NEVER smiles at anyone (not that I've ever seen). When I see him around property, he continues to act like he doesn't know me and will only talk to me if I initiate... I'm honestly SO confused?

[simplyaramdomgirl]

He may be shy and introverted which makes it hard for him to socialize. Maybe try to approach him, but do it in a casual manner and don't pressure him or make him feel like he need to talk to you because that will push him farther away. You should start with "Hey, I've seen that you almost don't talk to anyone. Do you mind if I talk to you?" and if you see he's trying to avoid you well then try again some other time, because the important thing is that he doesn't feel pressured. If he does that might push him away even more.

[shyramarie1]

definitely an introvert have you ever tried sitting with him at lunch to strike up an association

[Asker]

No. I'm an extrovert and am pretty much always with a large group of friends and I'm scared of scaring him. :/

[shyramarie1]

i was talking about him not you

[Asker]

I know that he's an introvert but I'm saying that I always hang out with large groups of people and he knows that and I'm afraid that that aspect of my personality may intimidate him.

[shyramarie1]

that why i suggested you sit with him alone at lunch time and try engage him in an intimate conversation to drag him out of his shell of loneliness

[writing_essays]

Try to be his friend - not to date him but to help him get out of his shell.

[Paulie3000]

He might just be a loner either through his upbringing or b/c of a traumatic event like you said. He seems like he doesn't want to be rude so he might be easy to approach or connect with, just don't force him or freak him out. Be polite and treat him normally and he should respond

[OrangeBoy]

ok, i think i can relate with him by... 70%.
i would say he's anxious when socializing or just dont have patience or interesnt on the same boring talk/peoples topics from every single day.

do you like him? can you talk with him virtually?

[Asker]

Yeah I do like him but what makes it scarier is that I'm 18 and he's like 35. :/

And talk to him virtually as in through text/internet? No.

[Streamhopper]

At the very least he's introverted. I'm guessing there's more at play here based on his behavior. The only way to really know is to reach out and see what the response is.

[gomalley411]

I'm exactly like him actually. Just approach him and go easy on him. Chances are something has happened to him in the past that's made him like this that he doesn't want to talk about.

[Anonymous]

I relate to this guy 100%. People are just fake as fuck.

[DapperMelody]

Hmm very interesting. Ask him and report back!