Why would a guy reject a hot/attractive girl?

[Anonymous]

I really can't believe that this shy guy I've liked for such a long time (who gave me all the signs that he likes me too) has kind of rejected me. I told him I like him through text but he didn't reply to that message. After that I talked to him once on the phone and he seemed super nervous and has been avoiding me since.

I'm considered very attractive and I get a lot of attention from guys and he knows that. So I really don't get it, why did he reject me? I thought all guys want hot girlfriends. We barely know each other so it's not because of my personality.

Updates

+1 y

Please read the details everyone. He's shown me every sign that he likes me too and he does find me very attractive. He even told one of our mutual friends that.

Updates

+1 y

I think I came across as arrogant and full of myself (as some people have said here) in the details. But that's really not the case. I'm telling it like it is. I'm just confused and surprised as to why he showed me he liked me for months and then ended up "rejecting" me. It's just baffling.

[fhziljio]

Maybe he is too shy and can't handle a woman as attractive as you.
Maybe he thinks you play a prank on him, there are cruel women out there.
Maybe he knows something about you, that you wouldn't consider bad, but is actually a bad sign to a man.

Feminism has damaged the relation between men and women.
Men are weak and shy, while women are off the rails in how they treat men. It might be that he sees you as some kind of predator.

I am just guessing obviously.

My best guess is, that he so shy that it is actually unhealty.
You can try to warm him up, but it will be a huge turn off for you, because all women more or less want a manly man.

[EmilyRubio]

You're 28 and blaming feminism for your dating issues 😂😂😂 feminism is actually just about having legal rights and being in control of our own bodies, and we'd also rather not get raped, thanks. Sorry for bothering you about that 😂😂😂

[fhziljio]

@EmilyRubio
My dating issues?
I am trying to give multiple options, what might be the issue and you try to shit on me?
Sorry for trying to be helpful.
In addition you don't even know how feminism fucked up the relation between the sexes?
They are lying hypocrites and you are apparently indoctrinated by their nonsense.(Oh Canada, of course canada)

Now your choice,
you can come with all your feminist bullshit at me and i pick it apart one by one,
or simply watch "the redpill" by feminist filmmaker cassie jaye.

I will be back later or tomorrow.

[EmilyRubio]

I'm actually a member of the Conservative Party of Canada, you jackass! You're way too old to be acting like this. I am going through serious trauma due to men Trudumb let in, from Islamic shitholes and India, thank you

[Anonymous]

Showing you signs that he likes you means that he likes you, not that he would consider dating you. Being very attractive is not enough to consider dating someone. There might be something that is telling him that the relationship between you two might not work (for example if he is religious and you are not, if you are a party person and he is not, if you are into going out and drinking and he is not, etc. Also, he might assume that if he dated you he would have to constantly "fight" for you as you would naturally attract many guys who will want you. Some people also think that very attractive people are more promiscuous.

[Asker]

Well I can understand where he's coming from but he should've at least given me a chance. I really do like him a lot. I feel heartbroken.

[Opinion Owner]

His reaction shows that he did not want to reject you, because he likes you, but he felt like he had to, because of some of the issues I described above. Maybe he feels like you are too different and that the relationship wouldn't work and he doesn't want to damage his friendship with you by trying a relationship which he expects will not end well. If he really likes you, he can think that he can lose a lot by entering a relationship with you - because it could permanently destroy your friendship. It's better to be friends with someone you like than to be their ex and to never see them again.

[Asker]

No we're not friends. He's in a different class in my college.

[Opinion Owner]

You mentioned that he has been showing you that he likes you for months. You might not consider him a friend, but the fact that you knew him for months means that you aren't strangers. Also you mentioned you called him - if you weren't at least good acquaintances would you have his number? He might have developed a crush or he might consider you a friend/acquaintance.

On an unrelated note, if he really doesn't know your personality, as you mentioned, why were you so shocked when he didn't want to date? Why would he want to date a person he doesn't know almost anything about, just that she is attractive? As I mentioned, there is a difference between being really attracted to someone based on their looks and considering to date them.

[EmilyRubio]

You sound like a brony complaining about the friend zone. Are you a "supreme gentleman"? Your arrogance is probably making him insecure. And maybe he likes girls who look a little different from you

[witherwing]

Attractiveness doesn't assure matching personalities. And frankly attractiveness is relative. Just because most people would find you attractive doesn't mean he will.

[Barryy]

Could you please check my question at my profile? I do need female's help , Thank you.

[confusednbored]

How old and how many relationships have both experienced? If he is too young and inexperienced, he may not ready for a relationship

[Kenni]

Well I know that a lot of guys aren't attracted to girls that are too aware of their beauty

[dude64bro]

From what you've written, I'm assuming a couple of reasons why:
1. Attractiveness isn't everything to him
2. He isn't ready for a relationship right now
3. He isn't experienced and is too scared/ wouldn't know what to do (Really unlikely unless he is young)

[Asker]

3) Definitely applies. I know he's never been in a relationship, he acts really shy and nervous around me. He's 22.

[dude64bro]

The good news is that regardless of the reason, being patient is the answer :)

[Asker]

Being patient?

[dude64bro]

Yep 👍

[Asker]

So you think he hasn't rejected me?

[dude64bro]

No he has, but only for now

[Asker]

You're really confusing me. 😅 What do you mean by "only for now?"

[dude64bro]

Sometimes people just don't want a relationship at that point in their life

[Asker]

Well then how will being patient help? And for how long should I be patient?

[dude64bro]

For as long as you want to wait for him.

[Asker]

It's not about how long I'm willing to wait for him. I can probably wait forever. But what if he never wants a relationship? Then am I not wasting my time and getting hurt?

[Tony_1693]

Lol at these guys throwing shade at you for knowing that you're good looking. You're not full of yourself. Side note.. Never let insecure people shame you for being confident in yourself.

Looks aren't everything as cheesy as it sounds. There are plenty of hot girls that wouldn't get the time of day from me after we hooked up. Is that because I was just a huge asshole? Nah... It's because they were annoying as shit and a lot of gorgeous women are extremely insecure.

Your looks definitely give you the upper hand but you seem to be placing all of your value on your looks since you didn't mention any other positive qualities about yourself. If all you have to offer is your looks, then you're a good fuck and that's it. Maybe he wants something more than just a potential fuck?

Or.. he could just be intimidated. You have to consider both though.

[winterfox10]

Maybe he doesn’t like what little he does know about your personality? I think it’s so funny that women have this impression that guys only value a woman’s looks. I understand where that comes from but I feel like women don’t understand that they need to actually bring something to the table in a relationship.

[Asker]

When I said we barely know each other I really did mean it. I would totally understand if he got to know me first and then rejected me because he didn't like me as a person. But he hasn't even given me a chance yet. It's totally unfair.

[winterfox10]

He might think he has you figured out? It sucks but it’s true. I have been rejected unfairly too 🙁

[KingDeAce]

He’s just shy and doesn’t want to mess up his chance with you why don’t you try asking him out or get him some place secluded and ask him directly maybe that will give him courage to say it. I’ve been in these situations and I know

[Asker]

Oh are you sure? So he hasn't rejected me? Can you share your experience?

[KingDeAce]

Well I’m a shy guy so it’s like this he may think he doesn’t have a chance with you and he’s probably afraid to get himself embarrassed in front of others if he proposes to you and goofed up thus effecting his self esteem so best chance he is gonna propose is when your alone with him. Plus he’s trying to avoid making the situation awkward

[Asker]

"Plus he’s trying to avoid making the situation awkward" - what do you mean by this?

[KingDeAce]

By awkward I mean that if he proposes and you say no he won’t no what to say or how to react afterwards

[KingDeAce]

3rd line 2nd word “know”

[Asker]

Oh ok. Can you share your personal experience? You said you've been in these kind of questions.

[Asker]

*situations lol damn autocorrect

[KingDeAce]

Well there is currently a girl in class I really like but I’m not confident enough to go and start a random conversation with her I’m afraid of making an idiot of myself in front of her I know I’ve got the looks she glances at me a lot too so I know she is interested

[KingDeAce]

Also previously in school I really liked but because of fear of rejection I never mentioned my feelings and well time passed, now I’m in university

[KingDeAce]

Really liked a girl

[tartaarsaus]

I'm inclined to say he thinks you can do better than him and therefore didn't really respond to that text message. Or he was intimidated because you may have scared him. Just talk to him in person for an actual answer.

[Asker]

Well I don't want anyone "better" I only want him. How can I convince him? by the way what did I do to scare him?

[tartaarsaus]

Imagine it for yourself. You're a very shy girl and probably don't look amazing (hypothetical scenario). Then there is this very handsome man just outright saying he likes you. That could be intimidating or scary.

I think you would have to then say in person you really like him and then hope he sees you actually really like him.

[Asker]

So you're saying he is having a hard time believing that I actually like him?

[tartaarsaus]

Yes, that's a possibility.

[Myquietsoul]

Honestly, you sound kinda arrogant. "Everybody wants me and says I'm cute". So... That means what? That you're some kind of goddess? Attractiveness is relative anyway. You may be attractive in your peer group but ugly in another. He probably senses that in your personality too. Plus, It sounds like you just like him because he rejected you and you're just not used to that. If he showed or start showing interest, you'll most likely drop him. Either change your thinking and stop with the arrogance and show him that you want him or leave him alone.

[simplyshredded]

Damn right. So many girls think that all the guys want them, but in reality nobody gives a shit.

[roy_ricky09]

Well I'll honest here and share a true story.
My girlfriend was super beautiful and the whole town was.. U know...
And one fine day she proposed me and shared her feelings. I didn't know what to do and as I had never been in a relationship before and also scared about many things like being bullied and unwanted fights and all... It also did hit me what if I was being used or being tricked because why would such a beautiful girl talk to me when I was just average or below average guy.
You might not believe, I rejected her for 6 months or so everyday and later on she was able to convince me and it lasted for half of my life time.

[DocGuy]

Probably , you have scared the shit out of him. Talk to him. Go on a date like for dinner, any movies. Since he is shy it will take some time for him to open up and be easy with you. Don't rush. Anyways Good luck buddy.

[Asker]

How have I scared him? 😅

[DocGuy]

Have u heard about the so called "Nice Guys" category? By the description he belongs to it.

[Asker]

Still don't see how I've scared him. 😅

[djkracka]

Ummmm did you ever think that you immasculated him by basically asking him out? Some guys are weird about stuff like that he might be a virgin and is afraid that you will leave him if his penis isn't big enough or he cums too quick there are plenty of reasons

[iamabsolute]

Key phrase: barely know each other. Try opening a line of conversation. He could just be playing juvenile games just to score

[Asker]

"He could just be playing juvenile games just to score." Can you please elaborate?

I've noticed that he's been trying to make me jealous recently and yeah I do feel like he's playing childish games. You're totally spot on!

[Anon-ymous1]

Yeah no don't listen to this OP. The barely know each other part makes sense, but not playing juvenile games just to score.

[Asker]

@Anon-ymous1 Huh? What do you mean?

[4golden2]

Probs he is scared, scared from you lying to him? or just playing with him? he just don't believe you, I believe that ^^

[Asker]

Yeah that makes sense. So how can I make him believe that I'm serious?

[4golden2]

hm you need to put your self in his shoes, if I were him, probs I would believe you, if you said it face to face and hold my hands and if possible in private place, using eye contact and the cute poor face 😜 showing kindness and being truth always make things work (i believe)

[Asker]

Lol of course he would believe it then! But I told him through text 😐

[Asker]

Actually I'm pretty shy myself so I could never have told him face to face.

[4golden2]

No need to be shy, as u said you are pretty attractive, why shy then? cuz he might reject u? cuz you are attractive he has only 2 choices either be with you or try be friends with you, either ways you should be okay with it cuz if he accept then perfect and of not is still ok ;) you got many guys find you attractive and I bet they would like to be with you ) so just go give a shot to them ;) you never know until u try ) I might said something don't make sense so excuse me, I don't proof read and my English is poor

[Otter92]

Shy or insecure, or he might be I terested in someone else

[Asker]

He's not interested in someone else I know that for sure. If he was, I would never have told him that I like him. I would just stay away from him.

[Otter92]

Oke well one way to find out, talk to him in person in private. Like on a bench in the park and tell him how you feel and what he thinks of it

[Otter92]

So he is really shy, make sure he knows in person before asking if he likes you back. Also remember he might still doesn't know if he can kiss you or whatever, afraid of rejection still. Just get real close, against each other, maybe hug and then just go for the kiss 😊

[Tim64]

He is insecure, doesn't think he can handle it and make a fool of himself. If you like him, make him comfortable and talk about things he is interested in.

[Asker]

Yeah I definitely thinks he's insecure.

[Asker]

*think

[Slothium]

For sex I typically wouldn't reject a hot girl unless she is really fucking stupid (loudly stupid, like making a scene) - you know, one of those indiscrete ESFP "triple-sagittarius" types. Can't stand bubbly women like that.

Personality is always important, even for just sexual relationships. If a woman is just a mindless loser imbecile who can't hold a conversation I will reject the shit out of her even if she is Kyra Santoro level attractive. It is what it is.

[Slothium]

applying that to your situation. Even if you think he likes you, are you just assuming that because of the way he acts around you? What if he sees you as that bubbly, happy-go-lucky type that is really fucking vapid and annoying and you just dont know because he hides his emotions?

[disgustingweebtrash]

Awww he probably thinks you can do better than him and that gets to him :'(

[Asker]

So how can I convince him that I only want him and not someone "better" ?

[sickle7760]

This is bcoz u portrayed urself needy nd. I got approached by a girl who i think I found a bit attractive too but i got scared when she started approaching me via Facebook nd stalking on me. Neediness is a big turnoff fr anyone. Do it with pure love free of outcome. Value urself

[Anon-ymous1]

We do all want hot gfs, so he's probably just shy and thinks he doesn't deserve you. Just be patient. Cuddle with him while watching a movie, at his place. He won't be able to restrain himself.

[LawlietL]

Attractive women crave attention. Maybe he just didn't like the idea of having you around.

[Asker]

Lol what are you saying? Attractive women don't crave attention. Insecure women (or men) do. In fact, attractive women get way too much attention even when they don't want it.

[EmilyRubio]

For attractive people, they usually do get more attention than average, but it never feels like enough. I've been dealing with this really fit personal trainer from Brazil. He has nice abs. But he's in my message box all day every day, getting upset if I take a while to respond. He taught me how to say "I like your tummy" in Portuguese. Attractive people can get really needy

[Sbsbdicjf]

You can pick up on personality within an hour. Lol

It could've been your personality. If I reject a woman, pretty or otherwise, it was her personality. No other excuse.

[Mr_Random_Guy]

The first thing that comes in my mind is, that you are not really serious about it and only want to play with his feelings, but who knows.

I was also pretty shy or I still am. I am not sure, but a girl asked me out once at this pretty much freaked me out (I was just surprised about it). Well I didn't want to hurt her feelings, because I wasn't really in love with her. Therefore, I rejected her. Maybe thats what he is doing.

[Mr_Random_Guy]

Sry I wrote the first sentence wrong. I meant that he might think, that you are not serious about it. Sry XD