I’m not understanding why men who clearly don’t want a high maintenance woman, let alone can actually afford to keep one, are so concerned about what we do? What bothers them more? The fact that we know our worth and aren’t afraid to enforce our standards? Or the fact that they don’t meet those standards and therefore never had a chance? I don't go around telling men who to date, or who they "should" be attracted to.
Updates
+1 y
Don’t let anyone shame you for getting financial gains and perks out of dating a man. The people talking shit are either broke men who know they can’t and won’t provide for you, but still want to play you and use your time and body, or the low self-esteem women who chose to settle for subpar men because they’re lonely and can’t upgrade. Hit dogs will always holler.
What is with men's obsession with "humbling" women they don't know?
A lot of feminists or as I call "wannabe feminists" tell guys what is and isn't acceptable behavior around women all the time. Pretty frequently on this site there is a discussion that always comes back around about wether "cat calling is okay or not" so no... women absolutely do tell men what to do. That's why men do it back is because they get frustrated that people keep demanding we act a certain way and then won't respect when we try to make demands back.
So you personally act this way? I don't know I barely know you. Do I ever "humble" women I think are being disrespectful, yes but I've done that to maybe two women total. And 1 was a girl trying to sell me her nudes which I find extremely offensive. And the other was a girl that was being pushy asking me to send her feet pics and I wasn't comfortable and she was beinf way too pushy. Both of those being behavior that women make clear they do not want men to do. If women don't want to send nudes they aren't comfortable with and don't want nudes from strangers they don't know then why is it so weird to assume men feel the same way about those topics?
I think this whole "humbling" phenomenon is different for each person that does it and is a lot rater than we realize because in reality everyone has extremely different motives for why they do things.
I do know what you mean it's that same stupid flirting technique that guys did in the playground. Where they pick on a girl because they like them. They're hoping to lower your self confidence in the hopes you will be on their level. That's the only way I can put it. If you come across this again just say "oh, I get it. You used to be the boy who picked on girls liked in the playground. It's funny how things sometimes never change". Then walk off like a boss 😂
@Minx7282 - can you not read the update, she's a twit who has no self-respect and uses men to increase her low self esteem and petty little ego. That's why "high maintenance" usually equals overrated bitch not quality.
You obviously don't know "high maintenance" is to many equivalent to "demanding overrated bitch".
Actual high quality women typically are not "high maintenance" because they don't need to be. It's sort of detrimental to being high quality. Actual high quality women after all are self confident, etc. and don't need to be "high maintenance" for a little ego boost.
Which idiot is asking you to be with him. He can get someone better with manners and humble nature. No one is asking you to lower your inflated standards. It's better if you keep those standards and keep waiting until you hit wall. 🤣 It's similar to beggar saying, " I deserve kings throne because I look better than my fellow beggars. You've nothing special than others. . You can only choose among what's offered to you. If you're considered cheap by men you only get to choose cheap men. Not some high value man. He's got way more options to consider you. . Your only bargain value is looks. And there is no lack beautiful girls. So any good looking girl is better than you despite what you may think of yourself. There are thousands of beautiful girls available for high value guy, for him all are replaceable since they don't have anything special than looks. Keep deluding yourself never lower standards. You're saving one man from headache. good work 👏👏👏
I'm fine with however anyone wants to live, as long as they aren't hurting anyone else.
But, if a woman ASKS "why don't guys like high-maintenance girls", then I'm going to answer, and I'm going to tell it like it is. If that offends you, too bad. GaG is here for people to ask those kinds of questions, and for others to give answers. And you may not like the answers, but people have the right to share their opinions.
Similarly, if a guy asks a question, women are free to give their opinions - and the guy may not like the answers, but the girls still have the right to give their opinions.
For most of us, it only "bothers" us when women "want what they want" but COMPLAIN about not being able to find it. If a woman has high expectations, she should expect that she's going to have difficulty finding what she wants, and she should not complain about the consequences of her decisions. But so many women want to complain about it, because they feel entitled to get what they want, even if they don't offer nearly enough value in return - and men are tired of hearing about it.
You are not high maintenance you are an golddigger.
A high maintenance woman is a woman with a mental issue, or physical issue maybe even both and if you go for one of those you must be willing to support her 24/7 even if she doesn't want u too. You must be willing to sacrifice a lot of freedom to support her in her hardships. That is a high maintenance woman.
What you say is u want to be payed for your love and that makes u a golddigger if you do this to multiple men at the same time you are a prostitute and sorry honey but those make you worthless
My definition of a high value women is someone who can be capable on her own but also be willing to be a good wife. As for why some men like to what you call humble high value women is because some women really aren't good people. Of course I feel like a high value women has self respect, has good character, isn't rude but smart in how she handles other people. Self aware and understanding. Some women aren't like that, which most high value standards would be considered. Some men just don't have anything better to do
Have you ever thought that your standards are lower than the guys standards?
Have you ever thought to your thought to yourself that your attitude is just wrong?
You say you have standard and then go on to say "let alone afford to keep one"... So you want a guy to pay for all your needs and wants and you call yourself high maintainance without actual being able to afford yourself?
You ain't high maintenance sunshine you're just a fool who expects guys to pay for all your needs and gets upset when they don't.
You are a self absorbed idiot and any man falling for you is also an idiot. It's a match made in heaven.
"I’m not understanding why men who clearly don’t want a high maintenance woman, let alone can actually afford to keep one, are so concerned about what we do?"
I would imagine its the same reason why women who don't meet mens expectations or desires feel like they should comment on men who dont want what they are putting out. Literally just had a 26 year old bitch at me on another post when i said my girlfriend is 18 and i prefer younger women (18 to 22). Why do i care what some girl who does not meet my minimum standards thinks?
And why is she so butthurt by a man who doesn't see much or any value in her? I mean i wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't value me nor would i care what they think either.
No it's because some women know how predatory men like you are. Being high maintenance, and being a borderline pedophile are not at all on the same level. Is she truly butthurt, or do you just prefer to think that women who care about other women are somewhat jealous snakes?
@CuteLingsAppreciator huh? Its usually girls who hit on me who get upset. Not on gag i mean I don't know her. I mean i just would not dat this girl once who was 28 and chubby and i was into a thin 23 year old and she found out and cried about how she's old and fat. Smh. Why she care?
@CuteLingsAppreciator. I'm not sure you know what pedophile means. I also don't think you understand the character of the girl who posted this. She is a self proclaimed gold-digger. That isn't a strong confident woman with high standards. That's an entitled women trading on her looks. Let's say she's a hot 20 year old not. She can be with a hot, rich 30 year old. Once she's 30, he's going to trade her in on a youger, hotter model (another hot 20 year old) She's going to have to go for a rich 50 yesr old. The pattern repeats... And if she is using her looks to get a man with money, the men are with are likely doing the opposite. Not love. A transactional relationship.
Your character is something you can count on - it won’t ever leave you but your appearance is not permanent without character cause old age can wrinkle you and pregnancy or sickness can change your body shape. But I know hard working models like Gisele Bundchen who used to stand for 14 hours a day in high heeled shoes do not saying your lazy.
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+1 y
I just love all the assumptions about my character and how I only focus on my looks. If you've ever dated rich you'd know that the who "bimbo" who's just pretty with no substance is very outdated. It just doesn't work anymore. You need skills, and intelligence.
Because a lot of these "high-maintenance" women are actually bitches that think too highly of themselves and want to be served by everyone. And when a man tries to do exactly that she's quick to point out something she simply thinks is a fuck-up. As one who's friends with a high-maintenance woman, I know they are only bitchy when they actually need to be... Unlike those bitches.
Who are you to say those women think too highly of themselves though? They don't want to cater to you, that's why they wonder why people like you are obsessed with them.
Maybe you overestimate your value. And maybe after your used up by the men you think you “deserve” you’ll start settling in the later years... the points to make you think logically over your feelings but that’s a fools errand. Women arnt worth that much effort today. Everyone should do themselves and if someone comes into your life decide. But I say fuck marriage period I refuse to give any women legal power over me:
Nice guy? Nice is just a tool. You use it like cruelty. Sometimes your nice to people sometimes you gotta be cruel. My statement might have been abrasive but that don’t make it untrue. On the contrary you kinda proved my point. My comment was to make women question their own value. Just because you believe your priceless does not mean you are but like I said it’s a fools errand to make women consider maybe their wrong. When was the last time you looked at yourself and the good things you have and thought… do I really deserve this amazing man, this wonderful job, all this happiness? What am I doing to be worth all the good shit that happens to me? Or are you only able to ask why me? Why do I uniquely have to suffer? Why are men so terrible they don’t want me?
I don't know, I'm not a man and it's not my subject of expertise or analysis. However, I respect high maintenance women so much, especially those who keep up with their skincare, style, and overall do things that make them feel great no matter what other people say or how much time it takes. High maintenance women are ressourceful even when they can't afford something, they can replace it or recreate it and that's so cool.
Because the question has to do with high-maintenance women, and that I don't understand men's obsession with humbling hmw, because I like high maintenance women and think they are cool.
If she's an asshole about it I understand, however yes it's definitely a thing. Regardless of wether we are high maintenance, have standards or dare to think of ourselves as hot, the goal for some guys is to try and tear that down or "humble" us so we will sleep with them simply because we are not interested. It's incredibly amusing when they do this lol, like move on my guy that's definitely not going to get the result your looking for smh.
I guess"high maintenance" if you can even call it that would be a women who is in a pretty high tax bracket that is looking for an equally high maintenance partner, so she rejects most advances that come her way. That's the label that's applied to women that "don't date down" in terms of money I suppose. It's definition varies depending on who you talk to though.
I mean that can't be called high maintenance I mean you have your own money I have my own money In my hazy thought about being high maintenance was somebody like being almost a sugarbaby like demanding to taken to expensive places for dinner holidays etc but if you wanna date only on your own tax bracket sure go for it
Like I said it depends on who you ask. But your right the most common definition I'm seeing after looking it up is a woman who is looking for a man to provide so she can spend a lot of money. Some definitions did say though that she could have her own but only wants to date someone with equally as much so they both have expensive taste. But most of what I'm seeing is it's in reference to gold diggers mostly.
I'm confused why you call yourself high maintanence in the first place. High maintenence women generally don't have enough self awareness to actually know how entitled they are. It's also usually an insult that most women wouldn't want to reclaim.
Maybe you're defining it slightly differently, but your question reads kind of like "Why do women complain when assholes like me have standards?" Just a weird question to ask.
@basicpplsuck I don't know. I've never met a person who would happily call themselves high maintenance. I also don't understand what you mean by "someone like me", given that I've been in the same relationship since I was 16 and neither of us have ever been rejected because we were each other's first.
The other side is that some women have an inflated sense of self worth and wonder why high status men only want to have sex with them. What makes you worth more than the men you reject? Looks? They fade with time. A real high quality women is kind enough to be respectful of everyone, even the men she doesn't want. The same is true for men.
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+1 y
Who said I was disrespectful to men who aren't my type? I'm just wondering why they care who I date when I'm not checking for them anyways.
For most men, your total self-absorption and unabashed sense of self-importance triggers a desire to force you to scrub toilets in a convenience store.
Are these the same men who want you to be a full time maid, work 50+ hours a week at a job, be a full time nanny for their children, split the bills, be a porn star all night, but just address you as “someone they’re talking to”? Yep it's the same men🤔
Why wouldn't they. You are being insulting. And as I assume you don't know the majority of me, I gather you are only able to comment on the ones you've been with.
It doesn't sound like she's being treated like shit. She sounds pretty shallow, talking about what men can afford. That's her business, but I wouldn't cast her in the role of victim or hero of the story.
@jerdanro read what I put and do not try putting words in my mouth.
guys (seems to mainly Spams) feel threatened by confident women, you see it all time on here and in real life.
The guys that fall in to this group have dated maybe 10 women tops, often none or lost their virginity at 20. They constantly go on about body count, yet would not know if a girl had 1 or 100 partners. They also tend to blame girls because they can’t get a girl, can’t get sex etc. Basically fairly pathetic people, that feel the need to go off.
They are also the ones that tend to get upset with any guy supporting or even agreeing with a girl
Are you ignoring the implied shallowness and inflated sense of self-worth? There are also men who work very hard at trying to be women's allies in the hope that it will get them laid.
Same reason why broke average joes insist they want housewives when in reality, they can’t even afford them. They come on here and shame working women. Then get shocked when they realize they can’t even support their own wives and kids
It's just the age old game of frustrated people blaming other people for their problems. If you don't want a high maintenance chick, don't date a high maintenance chick.
This question makes absolutely no sense. Why are YOU concerned with men who humble women who are driven by material gain in their dating relationships? Why don't you just go suck some rich penis instead?
I've reflected on your suggestion and found it unlikely. Given that you're literally the one rejecting humility in your question, I'm quite confident we can verify that my statement is more accurate. But your feedback is appreciated.
Because from what I've seen you guys do not do the same to men, whether he's a gold digger, only dates size 2s etc. It seems like you're okay with your guy friends dating whoever they want. Even using girls for sex, but God forbid a woman wants what she wants.
Calling it "having a type" doesn't make it healthy or respectable.
Guys aren't going around doing that stuff though, that's why no one feels the need to say anything to them. You don't see guys looking for money, and even with other aspects of preference they don't restrict romantic interest by their evaluation of their worth (ego). And when they do happen to get good things for themselves in a relationship it actually can merit a genuine "good for you" if they have a humble attitude about it.
"women wanting what they want" Doesn't make it universally good. For example, if you want to destroy the world I'm going to call you a super-villain and "god forbid I want what I want" is not a valid excuse for that. Sorry. There are boundaries to acceptable behaviour and rejecting other people's perspective when you're being abrasive isn't going to make it better. Insisting that you're better than others isn't going to make it better.
Why don't you unclench and tell me what really bothers you about me dating rich men?, because guess what every man I've dated loves it paid to maintain it. Are you under some illusion that I'm manipulating anyone? These are grown men doing what they want with their money. I don't use men, I've always dated generous men who love spoiling me with their own free will.
imagine hating women because they enjoy things that literally harm no one like lavish luxuries, nice dinners, travel, elite books & media, being glamorous, taking ultra good care of herself and her appearance.
The way that I spend money on myself... I can never be with a man that’s not willing to top that for me. And Iet them know that, so why does that bother you?
"tell me what really bothers you about me dating rich men?" Nothing. That's a mis-framing of the problem. The problem is the lack of humility and the assumption that others are the problem. It's got nothing to do with the guy's wealth. If you lacked humility and were being an ass while dating a poor guy, it would be the same problem.
"because guess what every man I've dated loves it paid to maintain it." " These are grown men doing what they want with their money." Doesn't mean you're being humble and it doesn't mean it's healthy.
"literally harm no one like lavish luxuries, nice dinners, travel, elite books & media, being glamorous, taking ultra good care of herself and her appearance." Imagine saying that and thinking that you're humble. Wow. Just oblivious.
Let me unpack that for you: How about you buy me luxuries I'm interested in and the things I want? And I'm assuming the answer is "no"... and if it is then that *exactly* illustrates my point.
I don't really care what you want, that's not the point. But that fact that you make it all about you and what you want makes my point stronger, which is that it's about *ego*. Want whatever you want, just don't pretend to be humble about it, *that* is what bothers me. Don't act like it's some external societal problem. It's ego signaling, this is what narcissists do to inflate their ego. I'm fine with narcissists quietly admiring themselves, but when you blast it out onto the internet that's when it's been inflated too far and you need to learn some humility.
Exactly. That's fine, whatever, people are like that. But it makes no sense to put men on blast for addressing problems in women that you yourself exemplify. That's all.
To each their own. Everyone wants different things. If a woman wants something that I don't have, I do not hold it against her in any way.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
Women do this a lot too. All the time actually. “You’re obviously no catch” is just a popular insult.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Probably as they assume your not Virgins or even virtuous. Nothing worst then a High maintenance, entitled, aspiring to be retired carousel rider. Thinking they deserve to be served.
Why shouldn't other women be confident too, high maintenance or not? Relationship gurus always talk about "women have higher value on the sexual marketplace" and blah blah blah, if they are so valuable, why shouldn't they be confident? I don't agree with them, I just think confident women are amazing and I want to be their girlfriend.
Because an boom is followed by a heavy crash. Women are artificially inflating their value, price fixing as it were. Men won't continue to buy the product forever and when the alternative cascades through the market because of the huge unsatisfied demand you deliberately keep there to inflate value that value will crash unbelievably hard. Once that value crashes the incentive for men to earn more than the tax cut off will be gone and then the only people funding women will be other women. While men have let women leach off them without complaint for centuries I get the feeling women will be far less accepting of other women leaching off of them.
I think what she was implying I that sometimes and a lot of the time guys throw insults as a flirting technique. I've had this done to me a few times and it doesn't feel good
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