My boyfriend of 5 years left the state without telling me: red flag or no?

[Anonymous]

Today is 4th of July in America and my boyfriend said he was going to a beach that’s less than an hour away with his friends (all men) for a guys day to celebrate just for the day. I didn’t ask to come, I was not invited, so I made my own plans with my girl friends for girls-only time.

When he texted me today he said he was in another state that is known for partying hard and staying until Thursday and it’s not just the guys, one of them brought his girlfriend.

Am I overreacting for thinking this is odd behavior? If he had just told me beforehand, I wouldn’t have cared, like have fun, but it seems like a communication issue that could’ve been so easily avoided had he just mentioned it.

I am unsure of how to approach this situation.

[spartan55]

Relax, plans likely changed and he did let you know... when he knew. As far as one dude bringing his girlfriend I promise that guy is NOT having fun. If you really want to raise a stink about it go ahead, but if you do youcl are sending the message you don't trust him and guys DO NOT like that shit.

[Asker]

You’re definitely right! I ended up just telling him to have fun and that I’ll see him when he gets back, he’s already planned a date for us on Friday :-)

He didn’t let me know until he was already there but it is what it is.

So all is well, I’m gonna enjoy some much needed alone time 😎

[mommymommymommy]

I doubt the guy friend of his was able to get away without his girlfriend. Likely a stage 5 clinger.

However, telling you he's in another state, after the fact, is a little weird

Sounds like he wanted a little TOO MUCH INDEPENDENCE, if you know what im saying

[Asker]

The first part makes sense forsure, and I agree.

Lmao about the independence 😂

We just got back from a 2 week vacay with his family and I had been living with him for an extra week after that until I moved into my new place this past weekend so I’m not surprised that he needed a little space.

Just kinda annoyed that he didn’t tell me beforehand and that it’s not just a guys day trip, but a whole ass getaway with one of their gfs lol

I told him to have fun, no need to add any negativity to his time with friends 👍🏼

[mommymommymommy]

Yeah, so why wonder?

[Asker]

I guess just to rant anonymously, or maybe get a different perspective, but you helped clear things up so it’s all good!

Thank you 🙏🏼

[mommymommymommy]

yeah that's essentially what people do on here. and then when they don't like what you have to say, they lash out

[Anonymous]

This is why I don't have a girlfriend... all of this needing to report where you are, ofrthe need to be concerned if plans changed... just reading this makes me feel suffocated...

But if a man decides to have a girlfriend then he needs to consider all of these things! Thus he should have told you, or if plans changed at the last moment he should have said something. Now you are suspicious and wondering if he was up to no good. This is the reason why women should be with true men of God that have 100% loyalty... no need to worry about any of that.

[jennifer_bloom]

It's possible he was invited to a wedding and did not want to bring you for some reason. Maybe he does not want you to know the people in the wedding group because they are poor or confrontational etc... I would not assume cheating without evidence unless your gut tells you he cheated.

[Asker]

Interesting theory, but definitely not a wedding lol, he informed me that the girlfriend won money gambling and I know for a fact that his friend is not wanting to marry her, at least nowhere near ready to.

I’m not concerned about the cheating, it’s just a red flag in my eyes because of the communication part.

[Jazzy54]

Perhaps it was a spur of the moment decision. I wouldn’t be worried.

[Anonymous]

I Assume he was the one that asked you out or hit on you

[shortster]

Big red flag.