Why do guys get triggered when their girl brings up past mistakes?

[Anonymous]

I understand how much it sucks to be reminded of the mistakes you’ve made in the past especially if you’ve worked on improving yourself to do better. But I don’t understand why a lot of guys seem to get immediately defensive when their girl wants to talk about the past issues. Maybe she brought it up because she still needs some closure, or maybe she hasn’t properly moved on from it just yet, or maybe she’s just using it as ammo (this is toxic).

Sometimes talking about the past casually will help a lot in the process of moving forward especially if there are some things that still needs to be cleared up or communicated - but it seems that a lot of guys immediately get triggered/defensive and it leads to an argument. Genuinely curious to understand the thought process from the guy’s pov.

[MrOracle]

It really depends HOW and WHEN she brings it up. I have no problem admitting my faults or talking about them in a reasonable way at a reasonable time. However, bringing up some issue from 3 years ago to deflect from an issue today is the wrong time and place.

[Asker]

That makes a lot of sense. Apparently I suck at timing lol so I gotta work on that

[Kaneki05]

Can't say that's happened before but no it wouldn't trigger me. But I would bring up theirs and see how they decide to end it.
Seems a like a easy one way trip to themselves getting upset shrugs.

[Asker]

I personally don’t get offended if my boyfriend brings up my past issue bcs then I’ll know that it means he’s not entirely over it just yet. So I don’t understand why the whole topic is just off limits if it’s in the past. I mean just because it happened in the past doesn’t mean that we can’t talk about it right?

[Kaneki05]

I don't see the point, but do what ya wanna do. I would just bring up what they've done so all that happens is it descends into I blame you for this and you blame me for this what's the use in that?