Weird sibling behavior? Or am I overthinking? Please give feedback?

[A0210]

I have a boyfriend that has a sister. We’ve been together for 3 years and nothing weird has ever happened between them until now. I started noticing he’s touching her butt and thighs. He has caressed her hips in front of me and I acted like I wasn’t looking to not make it weird. She calls him sexy. And she sits on his lap. I don't know about their sibling behaviors but I find it very uncomfortable and weird for me. I’ve spoke to my boyfriend about this and nothing can seem to be resolved. I’m not sure if that’s normal but the butt touching and grabbing and caressing does NOT sit well with me. Am I overthinking / overreacting or is this “normal” ?

Updates

1 y

In the beginning of our relationship they have NEVER done this but now since we all live in the same house things are starting to change and those things started happening. I tried to explain to him how it makes me feel uncomfortable and that he needs to set boundaries with her. We are all grown now and it shouldn’t be normalized period. She has a fiancé and 2 kids. It’s not normal for me but to his whole family it is.

[Paul_in_Indy]

That seems very strange, to me. I have sisters. We are close. We are very affectionate. At times, I’m sure people have assumed we were dating upon a casual look. (I’m pretty sure I lost a chance with a cute girl I was talking to in college because she saw me having coffee with my little sister.) But what you are describing here is weird and unsettling.

If you were dating me, you might be jealous of my sisters in a general sort of way - but you would not see us doing anything like this.

That said, I guess other people are different. So, I won’t go so far as to make a judgement call. It would, however, make me uncomfortable to be around.

[A0210]

You going out for coffee with your sibling is normal. Being affectionate with your sibling is normal. Having a close bond is normal. But touching each other’s body parts because your “bond is close” is not normal to me

[Paul_in_Indy]

I put an arm around my sisters when we are sitting beside each other. Or they might take my elbow when we are walking. They have always made me brush their hair (more so when they were younger). But I think you can tell the difference between sibling affection (even in families more affectionate than normal) and “weird stuff.” I would be inclined to trust my gut.

[MTC29]

That is not normal brother sister behavior.

[OlderAndWiser]

This shit ain't normal! VERY peculiar to me.

[nawtee_me]

If he will do that with his sister then what would stop him from doing it with a daughter if you have kids? It would be a red flag for me...

[MikeInHawaii]

Yep!

[A0210]

He has 2 nieces and he never touches them in any weird ways. He is very serious when it comes to that. And we all live together so I know for a 100% fact that would never happen

[Wise4myage]

No, you are not over thinking this situation at all. Send me a DM if you wish, I have more to share on this subject.

[Wise4myage]

Yes, you weren't living with him right? So maybe they kept it a secret.

[A0210]

Before I was living with him. He was living with his mom. And she was living with her fiancé. But even when we were living all together we would still all hang out. And they’ve never done anything off the radar to me

[A0210]

Even when we weren’t living together***

[Wise4myage]

Yeah, my gut feeling is they were behaving like this before and no knew about it, or they just didn't care. If they both had just started acting like this, then I think she would find it awkward around you.

[JohnK123]

Why would he do that in front of u…

[A0210]

Because he thinks it’s normal. He would do it in front of anybody

[JohnK123]

But whyyy
Did u two do something on accident as a kid?

[lickysplit]

Could have been like that for years

[A0210]

It wasn’t tho. Our first 2 years being together I never had to question their “close bond”. It’s never been an issue until now. That’s why I’m so confused why all of a sudden it’s happening now

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Disgusting.