It bothers me and makes me mad that I might never get married or have kids?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Growing up I was overweight. I was the computer nerd. See before computers were available, it was very "uncool" to like them. I also had an medical condition called Hyperhydrosis. My hands would sweat. Not just damp, I am talking dripping at times. You know those little dixie cups in the bathroom? I once filled one of those in just under 2 minutes. I closed myself off from everyone. No friends, certainly no girlfriends. Eventually I opened up a bit and found a few things that worked a little. But what girl would want to date an overweight guy with sweaty hands? My self esteem was non existent and I figured I would be alone my whole life. I did lose weight finally and that helped. I had a few things that helped my hands but it was always a problem. but i did eventually go on a few dates.
    I signed up and was waiting to go into the Air Force. One day my recruiter took 4 of us to the Wright Patterson AFB in Ohio. There were 2 guys and 2 girls. One of the girls had a super crush on the other guy and both were geeked about planes. I was not and neither was the other girl. We spent the whole day together. By the end of our day at the museum, I finally asked her out. That was January 10, 1989. We spent every day but 1 together until I went into the Air Force on Feb 14, 1989. I came home May 27 for memorial day weekend and proposed. We were together 25 years. We have 3 boys. I promised myself I wasn't going to go into the AF with any girlfriend. I didn't think that was a big issue since I never had one. But I met her and it was like a lightening bolt.
    You never know when it will happen. Women have it easier because at the beginning you control sex. You can chose to make the first move and you can get that guy you want if you go after him. But you have to be willing to compromise, you have to be willing to go after things. You never know when you will meet someone.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well what have you been doing that makes you feel that way, and what are your dating experiences like if you're actively dating? What kind of relationships have you had? Because the moment you end up having premarital sex, you're already predestining yourself for failure at getting married and staying married. However, if your still a virgin then you have no worries. You're safe as long as you have a healthy opinion about sex. What you decide to do now, especially sexually will determine the kind of partners and life you will have and encounter. Mainly so, if you don't meet the requirements of what the men of your interests NEEDS, not just wants in a partner. All of that has to be considered if you never had problems dating. Now if you have relationship issues, that is a whole another category.

    But now the real questions are this IF you are a virgin: Are you actively seeking a marriage partner? At your current age? Did you ever desire to get married young? Even if at 18? Or are you one of those types who believes in waiting till mid 20's or 30+ to get married? When you date, do you talk about what's important to you [marriage & kids] with your romantic interest? Are they even interested for themselves personally? Believes you would make a potential marriage partner? Thing about this. Because if you can't be honest about who you are as a person and what you need in a partner, then you'll be stuck and you may not be mature enough to be married or have kids. Besides, not everybody is meant for marriage or be given into marriage. Marriage and kids is a right and a major responsibility. It is no play thing. You will have to know how you want to raise your children and be ready to be sexually committed to your spouse. That also means having sex when he asks. If you don't like that idea, then marriage is not for you as marriage cannot strive healthy without sex as married men need's that to feel close to his wife.

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What Guys Said 16

  • Thank you for your Question!

    I have a Daughter that is 21. My fear is that she will never get married. I have tried to talk to her about it but she won't listen... Welcome to parenting!

    1 in 9 Women born in 1945 NEVER got married and had children despite wanting to do so. Today, it is 1 in 4.

    My advice to Women (and Men), make a list of characteristics/traits that you want in a Wife/Husband AND PRAY over that list. I did this in 1990. My prayers were answered. I've been married for 24 years.

    If you are interested, I have a number of links to data/videos that a lot more info. Just send me a Message.

    time.com/3422624/report-millennials-marriage/

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  • The more you let it get to you, the more it's gonna affect your life, which will affect your dating life.
    I understand it worries you, but you gotta keep your head up and moving forward. Stay positive and I assure you you will find the right man.

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  • Being single and not having kids can be ok too. You can be absolute dictator of your own life, and do whatever you want, whenever you want. I'm married, and had two daughters. They're grown up now, but for years I had to watch out for them, shuttle them here and there, etc. I'm retired, and my hanging around the house is driving my wife crazy, so now I have to work a part time job, which I don't really want to do, just to keep the peace.

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  • I think you are bothered about your looks, but to my opinion just be yourself, be confident.. if you like a guy, give him hints but don't be easily accessible, men generally tend put more value on girls who are not easily accessible, at least when they are looking for some serious relation, not just to hook up.. carry a weight, build up some passion, definitely u will find someone pretty soon.. And if u r worried about ur physical ability to have kids, i think it is better to appreciate what u hv rather than moaning over what u don't hv.. cz whatever we hv good with us, it is not going to be endless... so whatever good you are gifted with, appreciate it in time, make best of it, and enjoy life!

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  • U r 25-29
    Wth
    U will get married don't worry

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  • It is strange to worry about
    But I think it is ok for me
    Only feel that my plan has been made.
    So maybe worry if we can make balance

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  • Give yourself time. Continue to grow and develop and become successful in whatever it is that you aspire to. Men are attracted to a refined woman. You'll make someone a wonderful mate one day. Just don't be in a hurry - ya got plenty of time.

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  • I know how you feel. I don't even know if I'll ever have a girlfriend, being stuck living with my parents and feeling confined by the fact that I still do.

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  • Why not?

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  • What makes you think so? Are you out meeting people?

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  • Why you people makes marriage and having kids as the ultimate goal of life? There are other things in life for you to focus on besides being tied down with a paper and kids

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  • Ok..

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  • I'm in the same boat with you. I'm 21 and I never had sex and I'm still not married or engaged.

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    • What do I do if I want kids biology and want to get married?

    • I don't know how to answer that.

  • You can find true love and have kids.

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  • you like babies... adopt one... ( your wish )...
    í am also single...
    but í am not going to stay or be in a relationship with wrong person...

    and don't worry you will get a guy...
    find a good guy...
    online dating is good but you really don't know how the person... maybe good maybe pretending to be a good guy... etc...

    í never feel bother or mad becuase of this.
    yes í cannot understand your pain or sadeness.. but still being single is better than being in. a wrong relationship...

    í hope and wish that you get a good guy...
    best of luck...

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    • I want to have kids biologaly.

    • í knew it... i just said. that...
      anyways... wait for the right guy...
      or
      search for a good person...
      í hope you get one... best of luck...

  • Try online dating or something.
    If you are attractive and nice, it shouldn't be too difficult to find someone.

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    • It not difficult for a lot of people who are not considered attractive to find someone.

    • Show a picture of yourself and tell what your relationship goals are. Maybe someone reading this will be interested in you.

What Girls Said 5

  • You could always adopt kids no matter what path your life takes. As for getting married, it's not the end of the world if you don't. Lots of people don't get married. The chances of you not getting married are slim to none though I'm sure. You're still in your twenties, you have loads of time for that.

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    • I want to get married and to have kids biologaly.

  • I would liked to get married one day, like that is possible for anyone if they want to choose that. But if something happens and i get diagnosed with something that makes me unable to produce or have kids then! I will be mad.. and upset asf... only because i actually want children of my own created by me and my significant other. No matter how painful it might be...

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  • Why are you frustrated about the future? Real frustration comes from present.

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  • you can't just give up
    you gotta keep on truckin
    work on those connections

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  • I worry about that too from time to time

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