Have you ever used online dating?

[OlderAndWiser]

Not ALL girls on POF look like this!

A few weeks ago, I ended my relationship of the past two years. I'm sorry that it did not work but she revealed herself to be a hard core alcoholic with no motivation to control her use of alcohol, so I am relieved that it is over. I had been trying to get her to move out of our home since April but she was in the hospital three times this year, and unemployed, and she did not have the money to move out sooner. I was too patient with her but it is now over.

So I have returned to online dating. I have active profiles on POF and on Bumble. I know that many of the younger users are skeptical of online dating but I am not. I resumed online dating on Saturday, December 21. I already have one first meeting scheduled for this coming Saturday and I am exchanging messages with three other ladies; I expect to schedule a first meeting with one of them within the next 2-3 days.

Have you tried online dating before? Did you have success with finding someone for dating? Would you try it again?

I have never used online dating and would NEVER consider using it in the future

I have never used online dating but WOULD consider using it in the future

I have used online dating in the past but never had any dates or initial meetings as a result; not currently using it

I have used online dating in the past and had some dates or initial meetings as a result; not currently using it because I don''t like it

I have used online dating in the past and had some dates or initial meetings as a result; not currently using it because I'm in a relationship

I am currently using online dating and have not yet had any dates or initial meetings as a result

I am currently using online dating and have had some dates or initial meetings as a result

Updates

+1 y

Online Dating: If You Haven't Had Good Results. . . Read This. Part 1 ↗

[PinkMichae]

I met the man I'm with now on pof. Been together almost 5 years now.

Being in a relationship with an alcoholics really tough. I'm sorry it didn't work out but glad you are moving on.😎

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, I hold myself accountable for selecting the wrong lady for a relationship and I have learned some lessons. Experience is a horribly cruel but efficient teacher for those who are capable of learning.

I am back on POF, as well as Bumble, and have my first first date tonight. I will never give up on finding a good woman who wants to love and be loved! Congratulations on your current relationship.

[IAmRedThunder]

Yes! That’s how I met my fiancé! I was crazy hesitant to use it at first. But my cousin made me an account and one random day I decided to hop on and saw I matched with my now fiancé.

[OlderAndWiser]

Congratulations. I hope that experience helps you to overcome any other fears you may need to confront!

[IAmRedThunder]

It did!! That experience and meeting my now fiancé totally took me out of my shell. Thank you for MHO!!

[BCRanger10]

Yes. I had a profile, but I closed it when my then-girlfriend-now-wife became "official".

[slatyb]

Met someone online and married her.

[sejla]

Scared s***less to do it but the idea of dating scares me generally. At my age is it the most effective way to meet people other than meetup groups and volunteering.

Actually I do a meetup and I've listened to both younger men and women talk about their positive and negative experiences. One young lady had mostly positive to say about it even if it was only one time only dates except the one guy who started to become a stalker like and had to tell him to stop and tell the security at her job to watch out for him.

The younger men had less good experiences. Not bad experiences just sort of so so like they'd get women talking to them and they'd get all the way up to setting a time to meet and the women would disappear. I don't know if their experiences differ in that they are Asian and sometimes Asian men have a harder time on apps I guess.

I haven't set up a profile on any sites but just be looking through a couple I was wondering if I would even show up on that many men's queue because of their age range preference and then there are the men who are younger and say they date up to 75 which is a bit scary. The funny thing is that I look younger than most women my age and would in some cases look younger than the women in their preferred age range. I don't worry much about age in dating but won't dip too far up or down I mean not at any cringy age difference.

[sejla]

At my age and above the number of men start to dwindle. Some are in long term relationships, some are just doing casual, some have given up and are somewhere in a house or are too bitter and some have died. The died thing is a bit deal the closer to 70 one gets.

[Cynicaldreamer]

Yes- which is exactly why I no longer use it. It is frustrating and annoying.
Back when I used them, I never got any hits or messages... contrary to what most men believe, no, not all women have luck on dating sites! I was one of them. Even when I actively messaged men- nada. I might get a generic, "thanks but no thanks" type of reply, or nothing at all.

Yeah, my self esteem is already bad; I don't need dating sites to make it any worse. I can get rejected just as easily in real life without having to go online and face the same nonsense.

That was in my 20s. Now fast forward to today with dating sites such as tinder, catfishes and fboys running amuck, people not being themselves just to get a date... ugh, no thanks.

[sean1234]

Same here, but I quit those things because of all the fake profiles or 10 year old profiles never removed.

[ItsACatWorld]

Sounds like my experience. It was demoralizing and self-esteem damaging. As it stands, I won't be doing it ever again.

[razelove]

Well cynical, we can meet up in a coffee shop, compare to make sure we look like out pictures, nod at each other, and sit on opposite ends. I'll ask management to put on the Jaws theme and flip a coin for red light/green light to determine who gets to be the shark. You'll be green.

Just please don't throw an oxygen tank at me and shoot it.

[james2018dean]

I. Sorry Sejla. It's just the way you said it, but yeah, they're a pretty lousy date when they're dead.
I'm on a site and have had a couple nice conversations. But most older women (I'm older) tend to look more for a vision of a mate that is in their head. Most of those are still married. So they are just constantly disappointed that Prince Charming is not there.
On the other hand, if someone does show interest, and you are absolutely honest, I've met some very nice ladies.

[james2018dean]

The bad thing is that you feel like you're prostituting yourself. Its humbling.

[SydneySentinel]

I have used it and I had some dates on it but I'm not using it currently. I may again in the future but not just yet.

[coachTanthony]

Very Nice! How you liking Bumble? Very curious

[OlderAndWiser]

There is much less for me to do and I don't like being inactive but I have started three conversations with ladies and expect one to result in a meeting within the next few days. I can tolerate the role reversal if that makes women feel more comfortable with using the site, but I don't like it.

I'll keep you posted.

[coachTanthony]

Cool man keep me posted.

[Anonymous]

Try OK Cupid. Cupid does something that POF refuses to do. Cupid allows you to cut to the chase. Like POF, Cupid let's you select categories of intent.

But Cupid will flat out offer you the category of wanting casual sex. And to even fine tune it more, you can check the box stating if you want monogamy or not. You can also let people know if you're in a current relationship or not. (Yes there are some cheaters, but most of the married or or people "seeing" someone, are poly)

I know you're not looking for that, but it will still benefit you. It will benefit you because it gives the hookup crowd a place to go. And you might even be shocked at how many people gravitate to that category.

With POS, err, POF, they force people to rise out of the gutter and pick a category that's doesn't suit them. POS probably thinks that they're doing people a service by not offering those naughty categories, but they aren't. They are just promoting the practice of being deceptive about your intentions.

Also, don't think for a minute that those gals on POS that say they're looking fo Mr. Right, aren't banging Mr. Right Now's.

My brother and cousins are on POS reaping the rewards from the Cougars looking for "Long-term."
Hey, more power to them.
But at least on Cupid, there's way less beating around the bush! 😂

Yes, intended. 😋

[Levin]

The problem with OKcupid is there's only 10 men and his dog on it.

[Opinion Owner]

@Levin
My uncle went on 20+ POS dates. The very best of them all, was a self proclaimed witch. She didn't bother to tell him before hand. I think the second best was a lady that admitted over dinner that she just does this for the free food.

Perhaps the dog might have been even better than the witch. But it is true that POS is much larger in population, and I don't know why. They're both free sites, so I really don't get it. Maybe it's advertising.

[razelove]

Get off puddle of fish! It's all bots and scammers, like seriously man, depending on your region you might wade through 1000 of them to reach 1 actual woman. Women love puddle of fish because they just see guys who are beat down and desperate as hell after an ocean of bots and scams.

Bumble is fantastic, I also hear good things about grindr, but don't feel like trying it out. OKCupid is a good one for getting to know and talk to people one on one, I've had more friendships than dates come from there, but they're rewarding.

Facebook launched a dating platform. I don't trust facebook, so no idea how that's working out, it has gotten me good women in the past though.

I'm of the mentality of never jump from a ship into the ocean, so back-up plans for job, back-up locations for housing, back-up women for relationships.

[OlderAndWiser]

I have always had good success on POF and I have already met two women who I will be meeting in person before the end of the year.

[razelove]

Huh, maybe it's just the vegas region, or my age range that's in bot parameters. Aim higher, get climbed by a cougar for new years...

[Peanut127]

This may become a question by itself by why are u talking to more than one lady at a time before even giving first Lady ur full attention?

I did Okcupid in my 20s bc it had questions u cud see how the guy would reply, not as great as it was in past but this g@g site gives u a glimpse into ppls personalities. Yet, this site doesn't make profile questions mandatory nor where people live. My Okcupid lead to my soul mate to a point it seems creepy lol I'm deaf, he's not but I'll repeat his idea before he types it to me. Not everyone believes in that sh*T till u witness it but still, give one lady ur full attention before picking others to 'try on' u sound like ur shopping and a lady deserves more respect than that

[MangoHazed]

Cupid ditched all of those questions. I Googled why that was and the company's statement was complete bullshit. "Blah blah blah, it's good to change things up once in awhile." LOL
So yeah, taking away something good certainly changed things up.

[OlderAndWiser]

"why are u talking to more than one lady at a time" Because I haven't even met any of them in person. I have absolutely no obligation to any of them and certainly not an obligation of being exclusive. After I met two or three of them, I will decide which one is the most promising and I will then focus on her. Why would you expect someone to be exclusive with you before they even meet you?

[Peanut127]

Damn, really? That IS BS. last time I tried seeing it, it at least had more options on ur gender or who ur seeking. But I bet their user count dropped LOL

[Peanut127]

Bc dating is not like 'the price is right' game show. Uve now hooked three women and u have to be a dick and hurt 2 of them bc "they are not good enough' that's just mean

[OlderAndWiser]

I have hooked three women before I've even met them? Do you really think I am that powerful?

[Peanut127]

It was an example. Ull still hurt the 'multiples' when u find one

[OlderAndWiser]

You should not get that attached to someone before you have even met them. That is just desperate and pathetic.

[MangoHazed]

No, they still have all of that type of criteria, but I'm talking about the 200+ questions that were optional.
They came in every category under the sun. Religion, politics, hobbies, and, yes, sex.
(There were probably more than 200)

Example: "Have you ever had sex in public?"

Maybe the girl answers, yes.

No one on Cupid can see her answer unless they answer the same question! lol
It was fucking brilliant. So a guy can't just tell you what you want to hear, because he's not sure how you answered. He can either choose to answer honestly , or take a guess. But if he guesses wrong, then his and your compatibility rate go down. (Not that that's a big deal, but it's something to go on)

[Peanut127]

ha, well im from a different generation than u. practice what u preach at ur age and being desperate. to each their own, good luck.

[Peanut127]

@MangoHazed yea, i knew what u meant. and if dudes mostly answered sex questions? NEXT! lol

[OlderAndWiser]

I'm not desperate and I don't call other people names just to think I have an advantage over them. I am 64 years old but I am not desperate. The women who I have recently met online are a nurse, a veterinarian, and a paralegal. My last relationship was with a pharmacy technician and before that, I dated a retired judge for two years.

Many people fall for this stereotype that anyone who uses online dating is a desperate loser. Undoubtedly, there are some desperate losers who use online dating, there are some desperate losers meeting in bars and clubs, and there are some desperate losers using G@G. That does not mean that the majority of those people are losers. If you need to believe that for whatever personal reason you have, believe what you want. But calling someone else a desperate loser when you don't even know them is something that should cause you to feel shame.

[Peanut127]

wow, look whos talking! "You should not get that attached to someone before you have even met them. That is just desperate and pathetic"

[Kayla45]

I tried to years ago, but the emotional stress and turmoil from long distance relationships makes things more complicated then I'd like.

It's not a bad option, but I just feel safer if I meet the person directly, I'm super comfortable once I actually get to know someone personally. It helps me get an idea of the persons personality and general mannerisms!

When it comes to online dating there's a lot of things you have to be skeptical of, and even be careful of as well.

That's just my advice anyway!

[razelove]

I hear you on that, I show up paranoid to every first date. Typically to a location with at least two exits, ideally in a straight line, strobe flashlight that can induce seizures, handgun, ear plugs, garotte, and half an hour early so I can bounce the hell out if things get fishy or they look significantly different than their pictures. I've had one time turn out to be a trap, and no desire to repeat that whatsoever.

I'm shocked on a daily that more women don't pack heat

[silvermoon84]

I’ve had a few dates and initial meet ups through online dating but nothing serious came out of it. Most of the guys either wanted to fuck right away or wanted to settle down right away. I think a lot of them assumed that I was desperate to get married and have kids right away because of my age which isn’t the case. I want to build a relationship and fall in love first.

[OlderAndWiser]

Yes, as you get beyond being a very young adult, many people feel that they are "behind schedule" and are anxious to "catch up" to where they "ought to be." Yielding to that pressure is a formula for making a horrible mistake.

I understand being physically attracted to a lady immediately but, if a lady will get in bed with me on a first date, my immediate thought (afterwards) is wondering how many other guys she has banged in the last six months and how many more she will bang in the next six months. If I was younger and thought of marriage as leading to children, I would not want such a woman to be the mother and role model for my daughter.

[Jamie05rhs]

@OlderAndWiser I'm glad that you were finally able to break up with her. That is refreshing news. I bet you feel a lot better now. Good luck in your online dating quest. I think it's a positive thing, and I have faith that you will find someone great!

[OlderAndWiser]

I appreciate your words of encouragement!

[Jamie05rhs]

You are welcome!

[Pedrodad]

I had one coffee date and we just didn't seem to connect I was chatting with another lady online and she was interested in dating me if I made a few changes which turned me off of her... I am going to try again with a lady I have been chatting with,,, I will keep you posted.. I met one on pof and the other two on Facebook dating...

[OlderAndWiser]

At our age, someone else trying to change us is simply a bad joke!

[Lunasss]

I think online dating is awful. I end up meeting very lost people with low self steem, lacking in real intimacy, pretending to be narcissistic. Some people use it to get over a breakup or to fulfill their sexual fantasies. Some women are giving it the “last try” as they can’t seem to find a partner in real life. Cheaters and on and on.

[mudie0991]

I said never, but the guy I like (and, tbh, should probably get over) I saw online, but not through a dating app. I'd never use one, though... I kind of find it to be used by people who are either desperate or just want a quick hookup 🤷‍♀️

[OlderAndWiser]

Online dating sites are also used by people who want a serious relationship and who find it to be the easiest way to meet a wide range of potential partners. I can meet women in real life and get dates, but I can meet more women online and have more dates sooner.

[RichiChan]

I'm apocalyptically shit with women in the first place - but my experiences with online dating have honestly been pretty dehumanizing. Every time I match with someone it's like I've got to strut my stuff like a peacock to "differentiate myself" from the hordes of other dudes out there and I feel this really robs the whole interaction of it's novelty.

I know there are plenty of guys out there who enjoy success in the scene, and power to them - but it's just not for me.

[Anonymous]

I have and it was horrible.
None of the guys I contacted returned my messages even though I put a lot of effort in them. I guess I wasn't pretty enough for them.
They guys who messaged me had nothing in common with me and I felt like they were just messaging every woman out there.
I got back to a few guys but they didn't return my messages after that.
I got zero conversations, zero dates, just one big nothing.
I won't try it ever again.

[OlderAndWiser]

What site did you use?

[Opinion Owner]

OKCupid

[OlderAndWiser]

1. Did you ever try another site?
2. Did you have any profile photos taken by a professional?
3. Did you ever ask a male friend to review your profile and give you some feedback from a guy''s perspective?

[Opinion Owner]

Clearly online dating is not for me. I'd rather spend money on travel or arts than professional pictures and go bike riding with a guy friend than waste his time looking at my pictures.

Good luck to you!

[Unit1]

I used Hot or not (I despise Tinder). Then I found out, that 99% of the women, who matched with me there ghost me. I really wonder what they are doing on dating apps in the first place.

The most common reason I get ghosted is shortly after they find out, that I do not have social media. Or they think I'm fake.
All that's left in my disposal is the reality outside. And paying prostitutes of course 😍😍

I'm not that active on online dating anymore. I like the idea but it's not a viable option for me over here.

[Texaskid1]

I was on one very popular dating site for full year. I communicated with multiple women over that time. What did I get out of it? exactly 1 phone number and zero dates.

It was a huge waste of time and money for me.

I have stopped dating altogether.

[DiegoO]

I understand you can date more people with online dating but for me, and according to what I experienced from online romantic relationships, there is nothing better and more special than old school dating. That face to face contact and the click you feel in person is far more emotionally fulfilling.

[Jerseyg2020]

Yea you are right, but i will like to try online dating... Am tired of lonely life

[DiegoO]

@Jerseyg2020 You are free to do what you wish. Time always gives you reasons.

[Anonymous]

i've tried it before but it didn't really work and in my area , there just wasn't enough matches or profiles to make it worth the effort , and way more guys in my area that were online than women , so it just didn't work out. if you were in a major city it would be a lot more useful , many singles available and you could afford to be more picky as to which ones to reply back and such

[ThisAndThat]

I've messed around with it just to get a feel of how things were though it was without serious intent and as long as I remain in the west for certain I'm remaining MGTOW Monk and possibly remaining Monk permanently regardless where I go in this world. As of this coming year, I'll be celebrating my 34th year as a solid MGTOW Monk.